Chapter 21 #3
Inhaling deeply, I slowly released a tortured breath before kissing my mother on the forehead.
“I apologize. You’re not to blame and neither am I.
It’s just really hard not to be consumed by either of those feelings, considering what I know and how this could have been avoided.
We need to discuss things, but it can’t happen while I’m like this.
I just . . .” I paused, closing my eyes briefly. “I have to go.”
She nodded slowly but didn’t say a word.
The minute I was in the car, my fist came down repeatedly on the steering wheel until my hand was numb.
I had just blamed my mother for playing a role in my father’s death and it made me feel like shit on top of the long list of things I was blaming myself for.
My fist landed hard several more times in an attempt to temper my anger.
I could barely feel my fingers when I started the engine and shifted to drive, but it didn’t matter, because at this point, my entire fucking body was numb.
Somehow, the universe always had a way of fucking you. How ironic was it that the one thing playing on repeat in my head was the last conversation I had with Eli. One thing in particular . . . Karma or consequences.
“You good, Caid?” Cast had been watching me from the moment I entered Joseph’s apartment. It was a shitty-ass, one-bedroom in a decent part of town with overpriced rent and neighbors who didn’t give a damn about anything happening around them. That part actually worked in our favor.
“Yeah. I just have a lot of shit on my mind right now.”
“I got this if you need to be somewhere else.”
A bit of hope flashed through Joseph’s eyes, which had me removing my jacket and rolling up my sleeves.
Not a chance in hell, muthafucker.
“Give us a minute,” I stated, my eyes never leaving Joseph’s. Cast didn’t say a word, but I heard the front door open then close, letting me know he left.
I crossed the room, stopping a few feet away, stance wide, chin angled to my chest before I addressed a very anxious Joseph.
“How did you think this was going to go?”
His expression was hard and defiant. Cute, Joseph is in his feelings. Well, so the fuck am I and you get to be my release.
“You’ll have to be more specific.” His tone was just as harsh as his stare.
I’d indulge.
“Did you really think she would come? That my wife belonged here, in this mediocre apartment, living happily ever after, while you silently celebrate the victory you feel you’ve accomplished by getting her away from the one person you deem unworthy of owning her heart?”
His laugh was cocky as he stared me up and down in a way that expressed just how little he cared for me.
“What makes you think she doesn’t belong here? Nari doesn’t give a damn about any of that shit you’re throwing at her. She’s a good person with a good heart; all she wants is to be loved and respected. Two things you’re not capable of delivering.”
My chin lowered a bit more. “And you are?”
When he didn’t answer, I smirked. “You’re so confident in your abilities. Yet, she’s not here.”
“She would be if she wasn’t afraid of what you would do to her.”
“Come on, Joseph. You don’t really believe that lie, do you?”
“I believe you take without giving a choice. She’s no different.”
“In most cases, you would be correct, and that was possibly the case when I first met Nari. However, she had a choice; still does. She chooses to love me the same as I love her. Contrary to the illusion your mind has crafted, I’m not forcing her to be with me.
She could walk away right now and I would let her. ”
Although she wouldn’t get far nor would I allow anyone else to step into the role I currently play in her life.
“That’s bullshit.”
“It’s love. Regardless of my selfishness, I want her to be happy. It’s why I know you don’t truly care about her.”
His eyes went dark and his lip quivered from anger.
“You don’t know a damn thing.”
“What I know is that if you cared so much, you would have left her alone a long time ago. Nari’s choice to be with me doesn’t have a damn thing to do with money.
When I say she doesn’t belong here with you, living like this, it’s not because I feel she would ever consider herself above what you’re capable of providing or too good for an average life.
She doesn’t belong here because regardless of what she would accept and be happy with, she deserves more than you could ever provide.
Hell, if I’m being honest, she deserves more than I could ever provide, but I love her enough to get as close as fucking possible with the understanding that, in her eyes, none of it really matters.
You’re right. Love and respect are the two things she desires the most and they’re what I work my ass off to provide. The other stuff is just a bonus.”
Before he could respond, I removed my phone from my pocket.
“Is everything okay?” I asked as soon as I connected the call.
“Yes, where are you?”
“Out.”
“Out where, Kincaid? Your mother called. She was upset and worried about you after you left her house. She wouldn’t tell me what happened but made me promise to check on you. When did you get back? I thought you would be out of town for the day.”
“Change of plans.” I lowered my eyes to find Joseph staring. His face was tight, likely knowing it was Nari I was speaking to. “I’m in the middle of something, but I shouldn’t be long. Are you sure you’re okay?”
“I’m fine. I’m just worried about you.”
“I’m good. Just tying up some loose ends. Nothing for you to be concerned about. We’ll talk when I get home.”
She was silent until I spoke again.
“Nari, sweetheart, I have to go. Is there anything else?”
“No. I’ll see you when you get home. I love you.”
My eyes lowered to Joseph’s again. “I love you too.”
Seconds after I ended the call, I put my phone in my pocket and landed my first blow.
I didn’t stop until I was too exhausted to continue lifting my arms. I gave Joseph one last look and walked out of his apartment.
He was still breathing because I made a promise to my wife that I wouldn’t take his life.
I didn’t, however, promise he wouldn’t die.
So as I exited his apartment, Cast entered and I was on my way home.
Karma or consequences. I supposed it depended on how you looked at it.
Either way, Joseph’s bad choices decided his fate and he was no longer an issue I had to waste my time on.