Chapter Eight
Seoul, Korea
It’s past midnight and everything is cloaked in darkness. The air is still and the moon is hidden behind a colony of ominous-looking grey clouds. Timira’s gaze is fixed on a shadowy figure only a little distance away.
A gumiho? Is that really a gumiho? Alice would know. Damn, where is Alice when one needs her?
Timira seems to be staring directly at the silhouette of Korea’s famed nine-tailed fox, but can’t see its face.
Is he smiling at me? Why? Is he going to drink my blood to turn into a human?
Panicking, Timira takes a step back. Her feet wobble nervously when suddenly, a deep voice whispers into her ears, immediately calming her. ‘Don’t worry, Timira. I’m here. You are safe.’
‘Haneul! You came to save me!’
‘Run when I tell you, okay? And, don’t look back, no matter what. Can you do that?’
Timira nods obediently.
But I wonder what the gumiho looks like. Does he look anything like Lee Dongwook in The Tale of the Nine-Tailed ?
‘Timira, NOW!’ Haneul says urgently.
Timira breaks into a sprint.
‘Timira, not that way! The other way!’
One quick glance at his face, bas … she tells herself.
The sun is about to set and, on its way home, for a brief moment it falls on the gumiho, lighting up his face.
‘RODRIGO! YOU ROTTEN PIECE OF SHIT! FUCK OFF!’
Yelling in her sleep, Timira throws all four limbs about and it doesn’t take her long to roll off her queen-size bed and land on the carpeted (thankfully) floor with a muffled thud.
‘As if ruining my life wasn’t enough, he’s now out to ruin my dreams, too? BUGGER OFF, YOU ASS !’ she complains out loud as she gently massages the butt cheeks that had valiantly protected her.
Ah, thank the Lord for this choley-bhatoorey-and-pav-bhaji-fed arse. Saving me from all the asses of the world, one fall at a time.
‘ Ass-ey na mujhe tum dekho, seeney se laga loonga ,’she hums as shegrabs her toothbrush, heads for the remote and switches the telly on.
She’s making South Asians everywhere proud by using a rolled-up tube of toothpaste and has recently learnt a way to maximize the results by gently sucking the toothpaste directly into the mouth while squeezing the tube flat and rolling it up as though it were fruit leather.
They are showing football transfer news, so she settles comfortably into the couch and brings the toothpaste tube to her mouth.
Like Kenny G would hold his saxophone, with the same tenderness and sincerity, she holds it between her lips and draws her breath in … but forgets to let it out.
Coughing and spluttering, she dots her living room with specks of toothpaste and spit. She might have made headlines had she choked on toothpaste but currently it was the headlines that had knocked the wind out of her.
‘Rod is playing in the K League 1?!?!’
The K League 1 is the top flight in the South Korean football league system and one of the best leagues in Asia, if not the world.
Ageing Rodrigo hardly seems like the most ideal choice for a league as competitive as the K League.
But he had just had a stellar season in the Indian Super League.
And what many thought was going to be his swansong ended up being a launch pad for what looks like a second innings.
‘What have I done to deserve this? Who does he think he is? Cristiano Ronaldo? Why can’t he retire already? Should’ve listened to Bhaskar and gone to that witch doctor! I need to tell him and Alice. Arghhhh, what is this kala nazar ? Dude, I can’t deal with this!’
Talking aloud to herself and grimacing, she absent-mindedly grabs her phone and walks into the washroom. She doesn’t speak with Alice or Bhaskar, though. Instead, she opens multiple tabs—all sports portals, while silently praying for the news she’s heard earlier to be only a rumour.
‘Good grief! Why have they even signed him? He’s old and not even Korean! I mean, he’s Japanese, for chrissakes. Koreans ke dushman ! Why, Seoul Stealers FC, why? I used to crush on several of your players. Henceforth, all of you are cancelled!’
Wallowing in self-pity, she seems to have lost all track of time. Thankfully, her Honey hasn’t.She calls dutifully.
‘Morning,Seonbae!’ Hanee’s cheery voice is almost therapeutic for Timira.
‘Hi, Honey! Did I take too long to answer? I’m sorry, I was wondering who “Honey” on my phone is.
Took me a while to remember you are my new Honey.
I was worried it might be some jerk from my past,’ Timira giggles at her silly joke while Hanee wonders, again, if all is well ‘up there’ with her senior.
‘No, no, all good. I just wanted to tell you I’m in the office and have got breakfast for you packed from home …’
But I don’t eat breakfast … she thinks to herself.
Hanee continues, ‘… you’d mentioned pajeon the other day. So I told my mother and she made them today for breakfast. Come quickly, okay? I’ve got your Americano, too!’
This can’t be real. Really, why can’t the world be rid of men?
All they do is break our hearts and women just put those pieces back together for one another.
Gah, bloody hell, why couldn’t I have batted for the other side?
Life would’ve been a breeze! Kya main yahan ghungroo ke tarah bajoing kabhi iss pag mein kabhi uss pag mein.
Pug hi hoon main, life’s made me into its little kuttiya.
‘Please pass my regards on to your mother. Eomonim , right? Did I get it right? Actually, never mind. Connect me with her at the office today, okay? I’ll thank her myself. See you in about an hour?’
Hanee bites her lightly glass-tinted lips and wonders how to break the news to her. She isn’t sure of the connection between Timira and the man, but after witnessing what she had the previous week, anybody could tell it wasn’t particularly harmonious.
Timira, meanwhile, reaches for the toilet roll and curses silently. Getting up from the WC and flushing, she groans and, clutching at her belly, loudly curses Rodrigo.
‘Universe, for how much longer will I have to be stuck with this giant piece of turd?! I’m done being backed up! Poori salary isabgol khareedney mein lagaa doon? ’
* * *
‘Did you see him? Uwa! Jinjja meotjida ! [Wow! So cool!]’
‘I couldn’t believe my eyes! Have you heard the rumour? Aaah, I hope it’s true.’
‘Why are you excited, though? You marketing lot will only get as far as shaking hands with him! We’ll be up close … measuring him, touching him, taking his clothes off, putting them back on …’
Timira walks past a gaggle of giggly girls at the SecondSkin office and catches only the last bit of their mildly NSFW conversation. But it’s enough to make her blush as she recalls her arms around Haneul’s chest and Haneul whispering into her ear from her dream the previous night.
Hanee watches her from across the corridor and frowns. Her gaze follows her as Timira swings the door to her cabin open and skips in … only to pop her head out in a split second.
‘ Uri Honey! Baegopa [I’m hungry]! Where’s that breakfast you promised?’
‘Heating it up, Seonbae. Be there in a minute!’
Armed with pancakes and coffee, Hanee walks in to find Timira smiling stupidly and scribbling in her kitschy Shin Ramyun–like red-coloured notepad. She still doesn’t know how to break the news to her.
‘Snap! These are so good! You lucky girl, getting to eat such good food every day.’
‘To be honest, Seonbae, most days for me it’s either a bowl of cereal or toast. Think I’ve had a lifetime’s fill of home food!’
‘Girrrrrl, that’s privilege right there. You have no idea how blessed you are. I’d give my right arm for food made with love …’
‘I’m sure your childhood was full of good food. Indo-curry is my favourite. There are a couple of Indian restaurants nearby. We can go …’
Hanee stops midway through the sentence because Timira has evidently tuned out. She is looking out of the window, mouth half-open, chives stuck in one corner, a faraway look in her eyes.
Ma must be yelling at Apa right now for messing up the grocery list and getting rye seeds instead of mustard seeds. Or, she’s fighting with the maali for giving the better gulaab ka paudha to Patil aunty next door.
Hanee hesitates for a minute or so before deciding to wake Timira, who seems to be lost in thought.
‘Seonbae! Seonbaenim!’
‘Yes, yessss! Crap, sorry, sorry. I got lost. How embarrassing!’
Timira slaps her forehead and pats her cheeks.
‘Sorry, Honey. Where were we? Food … ah yes, Indian food. Nah, let’s get me a lifetime of Korean food in these months! When in Rome …’
Giggling at her own joke, as per usual, she reaches for another piece of the pajeon.
‘You must be missing home …’
Speaking through a mouth full of food, Timira admires a piece of the pancake between her chopsticks that she triumphantly holds up like a trophy.
‘Ah, you thing of beauty. Where were you all my life?’
Turning towards Hanee, she adds, ‘ Gomabta , Hanee-ya. For feeding me with love and making me feel at home. And, thank you to your mother. She’s everything mine isn’t!’
Hanee doesn’t quite know what to make of this and looks a little confused.
‘Honey, oi! Where are you lost?’
‘Um, Seonbae, what you just said about your mother …’ Hanee mumbles bravely but nervously.
‘Now what did I say? Oh, that ! Wait, no. I think you might have it wrong. I only meant to say your mum’s a divine cook while mine is, uh, well, how should I put it …
let’s just say it’s best if she sticks to the basics inside the kitchen and doesn’t get too adventurous! ’ Timira is laughing as she speaks.
Hanee looks like a load has been lifted off her shoulders.
‘Watching too many dramas, are we?’ Timira jokes.
Seeing as the air has been cleared, Timira starts to clear away remnants of the lunch and giggles.
Did she actually wonder if I have an ill-fated relationship with my mother?!
Amused, Timira gets up to clear the trash and ruffles Hanee’s hair on the way. Hanee, not entirely convinced, continues to wear a look of confusion.