Chapter Eleven #5
Haneul has been doing a very bad job of focusing on all that Timira’s been jabbering on about. The latter, on her part, is struggling to maintain her composure as well.
Dear universe, help me get through this nightmare, will you? Please don’t let Haneul figure out what’s going on inside my mind.
The universe has answered Timira’s prayer, what with Haneul lost in his own thoughts.
Geurae, I ought to man up and sort it out before I take things further with her. Good lord, must she look this pretty every time I see her? What is that delicious mouth doing so far away from mine? Argh. What is wrong with me? Michigetta (I’m going crazy)!
Timira, meanwhile, is mindlessly chattering on about the interviews being lined up for Rodrigo to talk about SecondSkin.
Can she stop already? I cannot take this anymore! Ah, is it me or is there suddenly less air? Why can’t I breathe? Why is it so hot? Why is she so distractingly beautiful?
Haneul uncuffs his shirt and rolls up the sleeves. He blows out air a few times and fans himself with his hand.
‘Daepyonim, are you okay? Do you feel sick?’ Timira asks with concern in a voice that sounds more genuine than any Haneul has heard in a very long time.
‘No, no, carry on. Um, will this take much longer? I have another appointment to get to.’
Timira is slightly taken aback by Haneul’s sudden question.
Shit! He must have noticed my mind is elsewhere. Crap, crap, crap. I must be doing a bad job. THIS is what happens when the lines between professional and personal life blur. Tch, I really ought to have known better than to get messed up between the two!
‘I’m sorry I’ve taken this long, Mr Baek. There’s still a fair bit more to run by you, but if you are getting late for your appointment, I could come back with this later today, if that’s okay with you?’
‘I’m not sure I’ll be back in the office today.’
Oh.
‘Tell you what, why don’t you mail the contents to me and I can have a look between meetings?’
Why does it feel like he’s purposely trying to avoid me? Does he regret it? Does he regret whatever’s happened between us? Or having to save me from myself all those times?
‘Whatever you like. Sure, I’ll mail you.’
She grabs her stuff and walks towards the door. Haneul continues to fan himself and look away. Just as she’s about to exit, she turns around and says, ‘Daepyonim, I did not get to thank you.’
‘For what?’ Haneul answers, still looking away.
‘For Jeju.’
After a pause, she adds, ‘And for before that.’
‘Before that’? Does she know?
Haneul stiffens but his eyes soften. His gaze shifts towards Timira who smiles warmly and says, ‘Thank you for being there. Every single time! Even if you did not wish to. Thank you!’
* * *
‘Even if you did not wish to’?!?!
Haneul has been rushing from one meeting to another, but Timira’s words have yet to stop ringing in his ears.
What is wrong with her? Does she really think I regret any of it? This is all my doing. She hasn’t misread my signals; I am the one to blame for this. I must’ve come across as cold and aloof earlier today.
And Bali. She most certainly now remembers Bali! What is she going to even think of me when she realizes I have known all along? How creeped out is she going to be? Oh, michigenne (I will go crazy)!
Haneul is silently chiding himself when his phone dings and a new email pops up.
It’s from Timira. It is the presentation she had been taking him through earlier in his cabin.
A second notification pops up. This time, a text.
Also from Timira. Haneul’s heart skips a beat and the phone nearly lurches out of his hand when, as if right on cue, the car makes a sharp bend.
‘Haneul-ssi, I was hoping you’d find some time for me. There’s something I’d really like to talk to you about. It won’t take much time. Of course, I could do this in the office, but I’d rather I say this outside. I’m not sure if this is improper, but do you think we could meet this evening?’
Barring the time in Jeju, Haneul and Timira haven’t been by themselves anywhere outside the office since Bali.
Just the thought of it excites Haneul. He knows what she is going to talk about and is worried he might blurt out the truth.
But the thought of spending time alone with Timira pleases him no end and he finds himself typing a reply that threatens to almost expose his eagerness to see her.
‘I should be done by six. Shall we go to Overte? I can pick you up from your place.’
How does he know I like the desserts at Overte? Is this also a coincidence? Or has he really been stalking me? Oh, God. I’m turning into Alice. I really ought to stop my imagination from running amok!
‘Let’s meet directly at Overte at six-thirty.’ Timira lives very close to the SecondSkin office. She is worried someone might spot Haneul and her together.
‘Okay. See you!’
Traffic having delayed him a little, by the time Haneul reaches Overte, a popular doughnut café in Jung District, Timira is already on her second cup of Americano and halfway through an Oreo cookie and cream doughnut, which the café is famous for.
God, look at her. Such perfection!
Haneul spots her from outside the door and watches her for a few seconds as she licks with relish crumbs settled in the corners of her mouth. Sighing deeply, he calms his wildly beating heart and walks in.
‘Here, Daepyonim! Hi!’ Timira waves at him with a big smile.
‘I thought we’d decided to drop this “Daepyonim” business,’ Haneul says as he pulls out a chair at the small table and sits down.
‘What would you like? They have the best doughnuts! And, each one is ‘grammable. In only a short while, I’ve become a fan!’
I know. Everyone knows! It’s all over your SNS! God, she’s cute!
Thanks to Hanee’s incessant nagging, Timira has become more regular at managing her socials since moving to Seoul.
She has even become friends with other Indians in Seoul, most of them graduate students moonlighting as influencers.
All of them are crazy about Korea and its culture.
Some had taken up jobs here, fallen in love and settled here even.
Inspired by them and pushed by Honey, she has started sharing bits of her life on her SNS handles.
And before long has raked up a decent number of followers, too!
Emily in Paris Temu-version , Bhaskar teased her endlessly when she started off her new handle, GoriyaInKorea.
Not a coffee person, Haneul orders a cup of Rooibos tea for himself. And a balsamic strawberry shortcake doughnut that Timira recommends.
He is almost through with the tea when Timira starts to excitedly talk about an Indian restaurant in Itaewon that has just opened up and how they make jalebis and samosas exactly the way they are made in the north of India.
She then chats about the weather, the Indian festival of Diwali that’s right around the corner, and how she thinks she has perfected the art of cooking Indian food in the past month.
‘You must miss home, Timira.’
Timira, doughnut and coffee both over, has been drawing circles with the delicate coffee spoon on the empty saucer. She sighs and speaks the truth.
‘I do. Terribly so.’
This has always been Timira’s favourite time of year back home—the slight nip in the air, the festive air all around, smiling faces everywhere, the promise of winter, the delicious sun and the sky, the oh-so-beautiful, gorgeous, clear blue sky.
‘I hear they celebrate Diwali here in Seoul, too. There are parties, I’m told. Would you like to go to one?’
Would you like me to take you to one? Would you like to celebrate with me?
Diwali is Timira’s favourite Indian festival and she had been very upset to be missing out on this year’s festivities.
To cheer her up, her mother had taken her shopping and bought her a gorgeous georgette saree in purple with zari threadwork and crystal embellishments.
Timira had dutifully packed it in, but was pretty sure she wasn’t going to get a chance to drape it in Korea.
Her heart skips upon hearing about a Diwali party, but she currently has more pressing matters to deal with.
‘Haneul-ssi, sky, right? The meaning of your name is “sky”, am I right?’
Timira suddenly changes the topic. She now remembers that the hospital records in Bali had been signed as ‘Sky’. She still isn’t sure how she’s going to bring that up.
‘Er, yes. It is. Well, it’s technically heaven but yeah, sky, too. For all intents and purposes.’
‘My name means darkness.’
What? It couldn’t be more ill-suited. You are light. And all things bright. The light of my life.
Timira continues. ‘I’m dark, like night-time. And you are sky. Together, you and I are like the night sky then?’
Bamhaneul.
‘Bamhaneul.’ This time, Haneul says it out loud. ‘It’s the Korean word for the night sky.’
‘Baaaamhaaaneurrrr.’ Timira lets every syllable slowly roll over her tongue and inside her mouth.
Haneul smiles indulgently, like a proud parent.
‘Haneul-ssi, it was bamhaneul when we met in Bali?’
Timira has debated all day if she should bring up the events at the beach in Bali, but is still surprised to hear herself do so.
Haneul shifts uncomfortably in his seat.
‘Bali?’
Timira can’t tell if he really doesn’t remember or is only pretending. His face is a little dark, true, but that could be because of the lighting.
Timira then proceeds to narrate all that she has managed to recall since Jeju. About the frisbee attack, about polishing off Haneul’s crate of beers, about nearly passing out, about hurting herself in Haneul’s car. She thanks him for driving her to the hospital.
Haneul doesn’t acknowledge her thanks. He then proceeds to feign ignorance of most of the details Tim has just shared.
‘I do recall having driven an injured young lady to the hospital. That was you?’
He tries to sound incredulous but to his ears he sounds mostly shocked. Shocked that after seemingly having forgotten all of it, she now appears to remember all the little details. He knows acting is not one of his strongest suits and prays Timira isn’t able to call his bluff.
‘That was me, indeed. Yes! Can you believe it? What a coincidence! Who would’ve thought we’d meet again!?’
Haneul smiles nervously and feels sweat starting to form little beads across his temples.
‘I can never thank you enough for what you did for me back then. Especially after all the torture I put you through.’
‘I only did what any half-decent human would have done. I mean, how could I let an unescorted lady pass out in a public space?’
I wasn’t unescorted. I was WITH YOU, HANEUL!
Timira is a little pained to hear Haneul speak about the evening with such little emotion. Timira has accorded it a place of utmost significance amid her treasured memories. But when she speaks, she does well to hide her disappointment.
‘Well, I am embarrassed about the way I behaved at the beach …’
‘Yeah, about that, weirdly, I can’t seem to remember much at all.’
Why am I lying? I remember every detail down to the minutest bit!
This time, Timira is unable to mask her disappointment.
‘You really can’t recall us meeting on the beach? We listened to your playlist, I yapped about myself, we drank beers, I, um, I, I mean, we …’
… kissed. We kissed, Haneul! She wants to say this out loud but restrains herself.
‘Wow, all this happened? I only seem to vaguely recall seeing a girl about to pass out on the beach, and then I tried to drive her home. She, I mean you—wow, I still can’t believe it was you—got hurt in the car. Else the hospital trip wouldn’t even have been necessary!’
What am I even doing? I’m burying myself under this heap of lies just so she doesn’t think of me as a creepy stalker. When she finds out I’ve lied about not remembering anything, she’ll think of me as a stalker AND liar both! What a mess! I’m digging myself a deep grave.
Timira has been stung into silence by Haneul’s cool denial of all that had transpired between them.
‘In fact, it is my fault that you got injured. I should be the one apologizing. I couldn’t even hang around at the hospital. I am so sorry, Timira!’
Does he really not remember any of it? Am I really that unremarkable? Did it not mean anything to him? Have I imagined everything up until now—all the glances, all the smiles, all his words … in Bali, at the office, in Jeju—has all of this really been my imagination?!
‘Timira, Timira-ssi, are you okay?’
Timira has been lost in thought.
‘Yes, I’m sorry. Yes, I’m okay. I’m great, Haneul-ssi!’
I shouldn’t drag this any further. What is he going to think? What if he thinks I’ve made all this up just to appear to be closer to him? Koi na, he wants to act like it didn’t happen, toh main bhi wohi karungi! Two can play this game!
‘It’s almost closing time here, shall we call for the bill?’
Haneul is slightly taken aback by Timira’s sudden change of track.
‘Yes, of course. It’s late, can I drive you home?’
‘Don’t worry about it, Haneul-ssi. I’ve already called a cab.’
She hasn’t. I can’t bear to look at his face for another minute. This is too painful!
Haneul doesn’t press because he can tell from Timira’s face how nonplussed and confused she is. He doesn’t wish to confuse her any further until he is able to untangle the knots he has tied himself into.
Timira insists on paying the bill—‘I’m the one who suggested we meet.’ Her pride dictates this action.
‘Goodnight, Haneul-ssi. Thanks again for making time tonight.’ Bowing slightly, she quickly turns around and in hurried steps, starts to walk away.
She stops a few paces away from him, hesitates for a second or so and turns around.
‘Drive safe, Daepyonim. See you at work!’
Haneul just stares at her and tries to decipher her always lively but currently expressionless eyes as she bids him goodbye.
Turning around for the last time, Timira starts to walk away without as much as waiting for Haneul to respond. He watches her back almost disappear into the dark of the night. His eyes trail her as she stops at the curb and hails a taxi while his heart races. And then his feet follow.
Opening the door of the taxi, she is about to get inside when he pulls her back, spins her around and kisses her passionately.
Meanwhile, his phone that he has forgotten at the café vibrates noisily. Calls from Mina go unanswered.