Chapter Fifteen #2
Timira ruffles Hanee’s hair and kisses the top of her head. ‘My darling Honey,’ she sighs contentedly.
‘Eonni, you have stalled for long enough. Get on with that call, will you?’
* * *
Even from a considerable distance, Timira is able to spot Rodrigo. He is running laps with some of his considerably younger teammates and is considerably faster than all of them.
Timira smiles and rolls her eyes a little.
Such a show-off!
Timira, dressed like celebrities trying to hide from the paparazzi, is at the Seoul Stealers FC training ground to meet Rodrigo.
Face flushed red and sweating profusely, he runs up to the stand where Timira is.
‘Timmy, hey! Wow, look at you. I wouldn’t have known it’s you had I not noticed that you missed your footing while climbing down the stairs!’
Rodrigo is smiling. Timira is not.
Argh, why am I such a klutz?!
‘Is your training over?’
‘Nah, not yet. We are playing a practice game in a bit.’
‘Then why did you ask to meet?’
‘Because I had to meet you the soonest I could! I need to get it off my chest. Else I cannot focus on anything else. You know that about me, don’t you?’
Timira does. Rodrigo has never been able to bottle his feelings. He’s always been in a rush to let them out.
‘I owe you an apology, and a massive one at that.’
‘Mm-hmm. Go on, I’m listening.’
‘Timmy, look, I am an idiot, I know, but I’m not as much of a numbskull as people might believe me to be. I mean, c’mon, would you have dated me had I been that dumb?’
Timira knows this is true; he isn’t exactly daft.
You are just an overgrown child, Rod. That’s kinda worse than being dumb.
‘Timmy, I know you don’t love me anymore. And I don’t deserve your love after what I did to you, to us.’
Wow, is he finally acknowledging it?
Rodrigo keeps talking.
‘I fear there is no future for us.’
Oh, you do now, do you?
‘Then why did you spout such BS on TV?’ Timira finally speaks.
‘I don’t know, Tim. It was like a panic attack that hit a little different. Perhaps I knew that it was my last chance to make up for all the pain I’ve caused you and to tell you that I really have loved you all along.’
‘Gee, thanks for letting the world know, too. When are you going to grow up?’
‘Shonda and I will grow up together. Don’t you know we are the same age? She’s just turned—’
‘Seven. Yes, I know, you fool.’
Rodrigo grins. This time, Timira joins him.
Timira has always enjoyed talking to him about Shonda, his daughter.
She is one of the very few people who know that he isn’t Shonda’s biological father.
She was a two-year-old bubbly infant with a head full of thick brown curls, freckled, wheatish skin and striking turquoise eyes when he started seeing her mother.
She was four years old when they broke up—because her mother no longer wished for them to be an exclusive couple—and she was not keen on being part of Shonda’s life anymore.
She was about to give her up for adoption when Rodrigo stepped in.
He had struck a connection with Shonda during their time together.
As a child from a broken home, he had such severe trauma that even after years in therapy, he was yet to find a way to handle his demons.
‘Tim, I tried everything to numb the pain—parties, pills, pin-up girls—nothing helped. All the money in the world, all the fame, the screaming fans—none of it made it any better. Deep down inside, I was still the Hafu kid from Japan living in a S?o Paulo favela on a temporary visa, trying to make ends meet and somehow get noticed by football scouts. I was barely seventeen, Timmy. I didn’t speak much Portuguese, I looked like a foreigner; even after I located my mother and her family, she refused to accept me.
I couldn’t go back home either because I did not have any money.
I did not even want to. All my father did was get drunk and first beat my mother and after she left beat me.
There was no way I was going back to that sociopath.
Imagine how scared that teenaged kid must’ve been.
All I was good at was football. I played wherever I could—in the streets, inside abandoned factories, on the terrace of the overcrowded shanty I lived in—and made as much money as I could manage playing street football, futsal …
you name it, I played it. I got lucky when that scout from Santos saw me play.
I got real, real lucky. What if he hadn’t?
What if I’d been stuck there just playing illegal games so gamblers could make money off my skills?
I wouldn’t have been here. They wouldn’t have granted me citizenship.
In fact, in all probability, I would’ve been deported.
Back with my drunk father. Probably would have developed a drinking habit like him even.
So when I say demons, I really mean demons.
I’m trying, I swear I’m doing my best to manage them.
But it’s not easy. And when I saw little Shonda, I didn’t wish for her the sort of broken, fractured growing-up years I had lived.
That kid is an angel. She deserves all the love in this world.
Her mother might’ve dated me for Rodrigo the star, but that child loved me for who I really am.
For the first time in my life, I saw how pure love can be.
There was no way I was going to let her go!
’ Rodrigo had shared this with Timira on their very first date, as ‘Sunshine of Your Love’ by Cream played on the radio, it drizzled outside, and they drove along the Queen’s Necklace in Rodrigo’s rental Audi Q5.
Timira remembers being moved to tears when he had finished talking. Very few people had seen this side to Rodrigo, and this was one of the biggest reasons she fell for him.
Rodrigo asks Timira to scooch over and he plonks down on the bucket seat next to hers.
She wrinkles her nose.
‘What’s that face? I don’t smell, excuse me! You know I don’t! Athletes’ sweat is pure. You know that! Don’t pretend like you don’t!’
He winks at Timira who feels and looks a little uncomfortable.
‘I’m sorry, I did not intend to make you uncomfortable. God, Timmy, I really miss that guy in Juhu. That guy, remember, the one we’d go to for scrambled eggs in the middle of the night?’
Why is he suddenly talking about eggs?
‘Khurshid?’
‘Kkool-sheed, yeah! Man, I really miss those eggs!’
I really miss spending time with you. If I could, I’d go back in time and set things right just so I can hang out with you every day and eat eggs , is what he means.
Timira shifts in her seat and doesn’t respond.
‘Timira, I am really sorry. I am sorry I let you down, I am sorry I messed things up at your Mumbai office, and I am sorry for all the mess I’ve created for you here. I am sorry for every damned thing.’
‘I wish you hadn’t done any of those things, Rod. Why? Why did you? You could’ve ended things with me respectfully and then done whatever you pleased. Did you have to hurt and insult me by hooking up with someone else? Did I deserve it?’
Rodrigo still remembers that evening. He was supposed to go over to Bhaskar and Alice’s.
Timira had said she’ll be cooking. He remembers vividly how excited he had been.
He had ordered flowers, had his manager Kabir deliver a bottle of Yamazaki to his hotel suite.
He was showered, dressed and ready to step out when his doorbell rang.
The next morning, his face was splashed across the tabloids, and by afternoon, he had lost the one person who mattered to him more than most. Timira.
Rodrigo, consumed with guilt, doesn’t say a word and just hangs his head, unable to look Timira in the eye.
‘Yo, Rod! Where are you lost?’ Timira pokes Rodrigo in his delts.
‘Ow! Sorry, sorry, Tim. I was just … well, all I can say is sorry. I’m just really, really sorry. Maybe one day, if you manage to forgive me and still consider me a friend, I can explain to you why I did what I did. But at this point, I can only apologize. I’m sorry, Tim!’
What is a cheater supposed to say anyway? Timira scoffs, but looking at ashen-faced Rodrigo, she doesn’t press further.
‘But you know what I’m not sorry for, Timira? For meeting you, for falling in love with you. Meeting you has been my life’s greatest joy and loving you has been my absolute honour!’
Timira looks at Rodrigo with disbelief in her eyes. His eyes are clear as water. Nothing’s hidden in them.
Why is he speaking so earnestly? What has happened to him?
‘Well, guess what, Tim? I’ve decided to forgive myself. A very wise man said I should, and of course, a particularly wise lady said I shouldn’t keep running away. So here I am, facing all my demons and cleaning up my life, one mess at a time!’
Wow, who is this guy? Where is the good ol’ vain, moronic, the king of rizz Rod?
‘Say something, Timmy. You’ve been unnaturally quiet!’
It’s true. Timira isn’t usually this quiet.
‘Well, I’m still processing all that you have said.’
‘I haven’t said much really, have I? I’ve only apologized. Something I should’ve done a long while back!’
‘Well, better late than never. And, better now than later!’
Rodrigo, a sad smile on his face, looks up at Timira upon hearing these words.
‘So do you forgive me?’
‘Well, I accept your apology. It’ll take me a while to forgive you …’
‘Promise me you will!’ Rodrigo cuts in impatiently.
‘I’m sure I will.’
I have loved you, you nutjob. Of course I will forgive you!
Rodrigo looks visibly relieved and smiles.
A waterboy runs up to him right then.
‘Hyung, they want you on the field. Game starts in five!’
Turning towards Timira, Rodrigo says, ‘Gotta go, T!’
‘Of course! Go on then. I’ll be on my way.’
‘Before you go, may I? One last time?’
He spreads his arms wide open.
Timira smiles and obliges.
‘You love him, don’t you? Ah, c’mon. I see it. Your eyes shoot hearts every time he’s around. Think I haven’t noticed?’ Rodrigo teases.
Once upon a time, they did that for me. Sigh.