Chapter Fifteen #4
She apologizes to everyone and informs them of her decision to break off the engagement. Haneul is taken aback, but keeps quiet. He knows his parents would be more affected than he by this decision. Shocked and visibly panicking, they immediately start apologizing.
‘Has something upset the chairman? Shall I visit him so he’ll change his mind?’
‘ Abeonim , this is my decision entirely. It has nothing to do with him.’
‘Is it Haneul? Has he not been attentive towards you? You know it’s been difficult for him with that whole, er, Rodrigo episode … give him a little time, please, maybe?’ Haneul’s mother, an extremely well-preserved lady in her late fifties, pleads in a soft voice.
‘Haneul has done no wrong, Eomonim . He’s been, well, geunyang, the way he is. It’s me, I’ve changed. If there’s anyone to blame here, it’s me alone.’
Haneul is quietly listening and trying to process everything as his parents glare at him, curse him silently, mentally count their losses and lick their wounds.
Sensing the same, Mina attempts to allay their fears.
Turning towards Haneul’s father, she says, ‘ Abeonim , don’t be angry at Haneul.
And I promise you that nothing between you and my father will change because of this.
His support for your candidacy has nothing to do with my heart and what it wants.
Please have faith in him, buttakhaeyo ! You and he go back a long way.
Please have trust in your friendship. And please respect my decision. That’s all I humbly ask of you.’
Bowing lower than he’d ever seen her and paying her respects, Mina takes her leave with a friendly smile at Haneul who is more perplexed than ever at what had just unfolded.
‘ Ya ! Stop!’
Mina is about to get inside her car. She wheels around to see Haneul has followed her out.
‘You and I. Jamkkan iyagi jom haja [Let’s talk for a bit]! We need to talk.’
‘Ah, finally. Now you want to talk! Now that we are no longer engaged, you finally need your friend, I see.’
Ignoring the jibe, he walks out. ‘ Ttarawa [Follow me]!’
They’re at the convenience store around the corner, sipping on banana milk. Well, Haneul is gnawing at the straw, really.
‘I thought you wanted to talk. Why are you quiet? Bring on the questions already!’
‘What brought this on? All that you just said, was it all for real? Or were you putting on a show?’
‘Whom would I put on a show for? You? Oh, you give yourself way too much importance, Haneul!’
‘What am I supposed to think? First, your father talks to my family about bringing the wedding forward, and then you do a U-turn. Wouldn’t you be confused if you were in my place?’
‘So it’s the timing of it that you have a problem with? Would you rather I did this after we were married? I didn’t realize you wanted to marry me!’
‘Mina-ya, you know how I have felt about this arrangement since the very beginning.’
‘I know, I know. I don’t need any reminding of how pathetic of me it was to have my father buy me a fiancé!’
‘That’s a little harsh, Mina.’
‘I deserve it. It’s the truth. You tried to show me on many occasions but I was too blind to see it.’
‘Are you sure about what you are doing?’
‘About what? Letting you go? Of course. You were never mine to begin with.’
Haneul shifts a little uncomfortably in his seat.
‘Mina-ya …’
Mina doesn’t let Haneul finish.
‘Why didn’t you try to break up with me? Why were you dragging this on? Jaemiss-eoss eo [Was it fun]? Were you enjoying it?’
‘Mina, you know how tight my position was. Your father’s investment in my company, his sponsorship of my father’s presidential candidacy …’
‘That is no excuse, Haneul. Would you have married me had I not broken up with you and then spent an unhappy life together? And what about Timira? What were you planning to do with her? Just what?’
Hanuel stiffens at the mention of Timira’s name. He has been trying hard to not think about her and has failed miserably.
Am I really the coward that Mina is making me out to be?
Sh**, I haven’t even managed to confess my true feelings to Timira.
And I couldn’t muster the courage to end things with Mina.
Shame on me! What sort of a man am I even?
How can I be so fearful of what has not yet happened and lose sight of what is happening?
Mina continues to speak.
‘While we are on the topic of Timira-ssi, there’s something I must confess.’
Haneul looks up at Mina, his eyes curious.
‘It was I who disclosed Timira’s identity to Yoojin gija.’
Haneul doesn’t look surprised.
‘Well, I’m not sure why you are telling me this.’
‘You’ll probably hate me for being so evil, and I wouldn’t blame you. But I had my reasons at the time and I don’t regret having made the choice I did. Well, anyway, one thing led to another and, before I knew it, everything had kinda spiralled out of control.’
You very well knew things would spiral out of control. That’s exactly what you wanted. But I don’t blame you. I shouldn’t have let this go on for so long. This is really my fault.
Mina smiles. ‘Aren’t you curious to know more?’
‘I’m not. Angunggeume [I’m not curious].’
‘Well, amuten [anyway], I hope you will pass on my apology to Timira when you see her.’
‘I don’t know where she is,’ he tries to reply casually but each word feels like a stab to his chest.
‘You’re joking, right?’
‘ Wae ? Naega wae [Why? Why would I]? Why should I know where she is? Why must I meet her again? What for? She and Rodrigo must be back together by now. I’ll see her at work and I will most definitely avoid her the best I can until her tenure is over because I am a professional,’ he replies breathlessly.
What? What am I saying? What’s wrong with me?
Haneul has blurted out all that’s been troubling him since he saw her in Jongno with Rodrigo and heard his proclamation on TV. He hasn’t spoken about it with anyone and it has all now come gushing out.
‘ Baboya [Are you stupid]? Are you even listening to yourself? I can imagine Rodrigo being stupid, but you? What’s wrong with you? Don’t you know her at all, and yet you proudly claimed to me at your grandmother’s place that you love her.’
Feeling unsure and small, Haneul can only hang his head and listen.
‘Gah, I don’t even like her much and yet, here I am, trying to tell my ex-fiancé to not lose her. Aah, this is so frustrating! Dabdabhae !’
‘But I saw them together! Na bwasseo [I saw them]!’
‘And you assumed they are back together? What are you, thirteen? I loved you for over thirty years. At least I thought it was love. Well, whatever it was, did you feel about me the same way? No. Not even for a second!’
Haneul is starting to feel more and more like an idiot with each passing minute.
‘Rodrigo had his chance with her and blew it. She’s never going to take him back. If you blow your chance as well, you may as well kiss goodbye any possibility of having her in your life.’
‘Who are you? What’ve you done with stubborn, imprudent Mina?’
‘I’m happy to listen to your insults, Haneul, but I suggest you first get your affairs in order. Starting with a shave, yo!’
Rubbing his hand over his four-day stubble, Haneul smiles.
Holding Mina by her shoulder, he says, ‘When did you grow up, chinguya ?’
Mina smiles. He hasn’t referred to her for years by that endearing word for ‘friend’ in Korean.
‘Oh, man. My father asked the same thing earlier. I don’t know, man. Geunyang. I mean, I had an epiphany of sorts.’
Haneul laughs for the first time in days. And for the first time around Mina since their ill-fated engagement.
‘And what did you learn?’
‘That I deserve more! That I deserve to be loved. That I too deserve a grand proposal on live television!’
* * *
It’s past 10 p.m. when Haneul rings the bell outside Hanee’s home and is greeted by her father.
Timira has left with Hanee for the airport upon receiving a call from India that her mother has had a sudden heart attack and is undergoing an emergency surgical procedure.
His calls to Timira go unanswered. Her phone is inside her bag so she wouldn’t misplace it. His calls to Hanee too go unanswered. She’s driving and her phone is on silent mode so she doesn’t get distracted.
He gets behind the wheel and connects a call to Mr Choi. He asks for details on flights departing for Bombay.
‘Daepyonim , hajimaseyo !’
I hope he doesn’t attempt to do what heroes in movies and dramas do!
Visuals of driving in traffic, sprinting at breakneck speeds through crowds, leaping across trolleys, knocking over people’s drinks and carts pop up inside his mind.
‘Daepyonim, don’t! There’s no way you are going to make it on time. You said it’s a Qatar Airways flight, right? It departs at 1.30 a.m. By the time you reach, she would have already checked in and headed for the security check!’
Haneul doesn’t respond. He just drives with single-minded focus.
‘But you are still going to do it, I know it. Aren’t you, Daepyonim? Why do I even bother?! Although this time I shan’t stop you! Geurae, I hope you get to see her. Fighting, Daepyonim!’
Arriving at Incheon, without wasting any time to park and at the risk of it getting towed, Haneul dumps his car next to the sidewalk and runs to the departure gate. Out of breath, he looks at his watch.
There’s still two hours before take-off.
He scans the crowd desperately, but even after sprinting from one end to the other, he fails to spot the familiar cheeks and space buns.
Between laborious breaths, he bends down to tie his shoelaces that have come undone when there’s a tap on his back.
His heart skips a beat as he gets up with a jolt, only to see Hanee frowning at him.
‘Why now, Daepyonim? Why so late? What took you so long? Where were you? She waited so long. As long as she could. You’ve just missed her. She’s gone,’ Hanee wails.