Chapter 73 Margot
Chapter 73
Margot
Anna deserves the truth – not a version of it, but the version of it. So I start at the beginning, painting her a picture of who I was then, my strained relationship with my parents, the gang I wanted to be a part of and how our initiation was to burgle her family’s safe.
I explain how things became heated when, once inside, we couldn’t locate the key to open it. Then a light was turned on and we were confronted by a man dressed only in striped pyjama bottoms and wielding the base of a bedside lamp.
‘My dad,’ Anna says quietly, and her gaze falls to the floor.
‘He must have thought he could scare us off,’ I continue. ‘I remember him rushing towards Warren and holding the lamp over his head. Then Warren reached inside his coat, grabbed the gun and fired.’
I hope she never had to see her father as I saw him that night.
‘I was numb,’ I continue soberly. ‘I’d never watched anyone ... die before. I didn’t know what to do.’
Anna grips her mug so tightly, her knuckles are white. ‘You could have called for help.’
‘It was too late.’
‘How do you know that? You’re not a doctor.’
‘Anna,’ I say, ‘trust me, it was too late.’
She wipes her eyes with her sleeve. ‘And my mum?’ she asks. ‘She was screaming as she was dragged out of the room. Was that when she saw Dad?’
I nod, silently recalling her panic as she realised her husband’s fate. And despite Warren’s increasing frustration, she was unable to tell him where the key to the safe was now.
‘I truly believe that when Warren killed your dad, it was nothing but a reflex,’ I say. ‘However, shooting your mum was different. It was deliberate.’
I explain how Zain and Jenny fled down the staircase as the now unhinged Warren unloaded his gun twice more, his bullets fortunately missing them both. But I was too slow to leave. And I was convinced he was going to kill me next until I suggested setting fire to the flat.
‘That was your idea?’ Anna asks, surprised.
‘Yes.’
Her eyes narrow so tightly, her irises are pinpricks. None of this can be easy for her to hear.
‘So I’m not misremembering anything,’ she says, scowling. ‘You tried to murder me and Drew.’
‘No, Anna,’ I say adamantly. ‘I promise you it wasn’t like that. Do you remember when we first saw each other?’
‘You crouched to pick up a tin of lighter fuel from the bedroom floor.’
‘I had no idea either you or Drew was in the flat before that moment. How could I?’
She doesn’t respond, so I continue.
‘I wasn’t that much older than Drew and I was just as frightened as him. I wanted to stay alive. And that’s what I wanted for you two as well. I got back to my feet with the intention of telling Warren we should abandon the plan and leave, but as I reached the door, he already had a blazing firelighter in his hand. And before I could protest, he tossed it to the floor, igniting the room. Then he pulled me downstairs and out into the street.’
Anna hesitates as if she wants to say one thing, but changes her mind before she counters, ‘You could have gone back in. You could have tried to help us, but you didn’t.’
‘You were there,’ I say. ‘You know I’d never have got back upstairs; you barely escaped yourselves. Drew was in a terrible state when the police pulled him out.’
Her brow furrows. ‘How do you know that?’ she asks.
‘I ran back to the shop after I called 999.’
‘You did that?’
‘From the phone box opposite. Then I watched as they tried to resuscitate him, praying he’d survive. And I waited until the ambulance arrived and blue-lighted both of you to hospital. Only then did I leave.’
Anna sits back in her chair as I lean towards her.
‘To this day,’ I add, ‘I am convinced that if I’d told Warren I’d found you and your brother hiding under the bed, he’d have shot you as well. And maybe me. By that point, he wasn’t in his right mind. I swear to God that I didn’t want to leave you there, but at least you stood a chance of surviving the fire. You wouldn’t have survived Warren.’