Chapter 20
VAL
Something warm and heavy draped around my waist, and I snuggled into its comfort as the scent of musk and teakwood tickled my nose. Smells good…
“Hijo de puta!” I launched awake, gathering the sheets around my chin.
Beside me, Nolan fucking Keller looking like the hottest thing I’d ever seen with his sleep-rumpled hair, grabbed a pillow and reared back an arm, ready to throw it, scanning the room for a threat. “What is it?”
“You were breaking the rules,” I said as I scrambled out of bed, the events of the previous night rushing over me in a tsunami. Show me how you touch yourself when you think of me. Let me see how you like to be fucked. Come here, my dirty little slut.
Mierda, who was that fearless, flirty woman occupying my body last night?
Maybe it was the magic of the snowstorm, suspending reality and my sanity.
But now, in the cold light of day, heat burst to life in my cheeks and I looked everywhere but at Nolan.
I had to escape. One more minute in this room with him and I’d combust.
After…after last night, I’d showered again and crawled into bed fully clothed, staying as far away from him as possible. It felt silly to banish him to the couch after what we’d just done. I was surprised I slept at all with how much adrenaline buzzed through my system.
“We—you—how did you end up on my side of the bed?” I demanded.
Nolan relaxed against the pillows, interlacing his hands behind his head.
He just had to be shirtless, didn’t he? But technically he did since he only had a suit and I could hardly expect him to sleep in slacks and a button-down.
Looking at me with half-lidded eyes, he said, “Sorry. I guess even in my sleep, I can’t stay away from you. ”
I didn’t like the way that particular sentiment coiled in my belly, and I hustled into the bathroom. “Get dressed. I have to be in the rental room at nine to restock, and then it’s Arthur-mandated activities for us the rest of the day.”
He shot me a lazy smile, unconcerned at my franticness. “Have coffee with me first, then we can go.”
I grumbled a “yes” because of course I wasn’t leaving the house without coffee, then shut the door on him to freak out in private. I didn’t care if the snow plow hadn’t made it up the mountain yet. I was getting the heck out of there before the tension between us sent the whole house up in flames.
Ten minutes later, I sat at the kitchen table and he handed me a mug. I took a sip, blinking in surprise. “You know how I take my coffee?”
“You’ve been living in my house. I pay attention.
” Nolan’s smile became feline and he didn’t hide the appreciative gaze he swept down my body.
Even though I was fully dressed, it left me feeling utterly exposed.
But my ten minutes of solitude in the bathroom had brought responsible Val to the forefront, and I let her take over.
Clearing my throat, I said, “We should talk about what exactly it is we’re doing.”
“We’re having coffee.”
I gave him a playful kick under the table. “I mean what we’re doing as far as you and me. We should set some ground rules. Expectations.”
“More rules?” Amused, Nolan sat back and gestured for me to continue. “By all means.”
“Right. Well. Um.” Jesus, why is it so hard to get the words out? I’d been agonizing over this all night, and I’d reached a conclusion I could live with. Shaking off the anxiety, I plowed onward. “It makes the most sense to keep things casual for the rest of the season and then part ways.”
Anyone else might not have noticed Nolan’s displeasure, but I knew his tell—he steepled his fingers under his chin with a blank expression. This wasn’t the answer he’d wanted to hear, and I wasn’t sure what to make of that.
“You’re getting married, Nolan. I want to enjoy our limited time together, and that’s it.
This winter can’t be anything more than a romp in the snow.
Right?” A small part of me begged for him to contradict me, to say that he wanted to see where things between us could go for real, but it was impossible.
He felt compelled to protect Cressida from whatever lurked in her past, and I couldn’t fault him for that.
“If that’s what you want, then you’ll have it,” he replied. “For the next few months, I’m yours.”
At that, an unknown feeling swelled in my chest. I’m yours. Holy freaking crap. I’d never had a man like Nolan and didn’t know what to do with him. But after his coaching last night, I was more than confident he could help me figure it out.
“What about the ‘hoops’ you mentioned?” I asked. I wasn’t wild about signing an NDA, but I’d consider it, if it would make him comfortable.
Reaching across the table, Nolan took my hand, smoothing his thumb across my knuckles. “No paperwork. I trust you.”
“You—?” I hadn’t expected that, and his words opened up a deep well within me, one I longed for him to fill.
Where did that come from? This thing between us is just physical.
Blindsided as I was, I turned back to safety—practical matters.
“Okay then. Through the holiday weekend, we should keep these kinds of dates to a minimum—even though this is the most fantastic thing anyone has ever done for me. Wouldn’t want the paparazzi or anyone else to catch us. ”
His earlier poker face evaporated into a lusty look as he said, “I’d much rather stay in at home with you anyway.”
Dear lord, the man is pure sex. How was I going to keep from jumping his bones?
He’d be more than okay with it, but I wasn’t sure how far I wanted to take things.
I’d dated around and wasn’t a virgin, and last night had been undeniably incredible, but if Nolan and I went all the way, it would make it that much harder to break things off.
Frankie was great at casual sex and I wished I could be too, but I just wasn’t wired that way.
Fooling around, though, I could handle. I think.
But instead of saying any of that, I opted to change the subject. “Plans for Christmas?”
“I have something in mind for you, yes,” he said with a smirk.
“Wasn’t what I meant, but I’m not not into it. Another surprise?”
“You know how surprises work, so I’m not answering that,” he said, taking a drink of coffee.
I smiled into my own mug at the thought. I could get used to his surprises. At least for the next few months.
“You are absolutely, positively, without a doubt fucking with me right now, Val. There is no fucking way.” Frankie slapped a pair of ski boots on the counter, the disinfectant spray forgotten beside them.
At my growing silence, her gaze turned rabid.
“Oh my god, you’re serious. I am so proud of you! ”
“Shh! Keep your voice down.” I glanced around the rental shop’s storage room, but we were the only ones within earshot.
“Is that what he told you last night when you were screaming his name as you had the ‘best orgasm of your life’?”
“Frankie!” But a nervous laugh escaped me. I hadn’t wanted to tell her anything, but one look at my face when I’d walked in the door and she’d known something was up. Frankie was a bloodhound for gossip and a lockbox for my secrets—and I really needed someone to talk to.
“And that was without him even touching you. Imagine if he got his hands all over you.” Frankie waggled her eyebrows as she spritzed another pair of boots.
A dull ache throbbed between my legs. “Believe me. That’s one thing I can’t stop thinking about.”
I was surprised it even happened once with Nolan.
My anxiety made orgasms difficult; my brain would never shut up long enough to let me enjoy a moment of pleasure.
On top of that, I had performance anxiety, always worrying about if it felt good for the other person instead of if it felt good for me.
Which, of course, had led to a lifetime of unsatisfying sexual encounters.
The only orgasms I’d ever had were ones I’d given myself.
But last night wasn’t because of my own touches—it was because of Nolan.
His demanding tone, his filthy words, the way he looked at me like I was the sun after years of darkness…
I had felt powerful. Beautiful. Desired.
It was a dangerous feeling. Dangerous, because now that I’d felt it, I craved it.
“But it definitely shouldn’t happen again, not while the resort is crawling with reporters. And uh, there’s also the fact that he’s engaged.” Even though it’s fake. But that wasn’t my secret to tell. I still hadn’t wrapped my head around the whole thing.
“True, your face is as transparent as a flashing neon billboard. One look at you in Nolan’s vicinity and everyone will know you’ve seen each other naked.”
I chucked a pair of old hand warmers at Frankie, which she caught, to my annoyance.
“So what happens now?” she said, juggling the hand warmers.
While Nolan was free to…see me, or whatever, he still came with a bucket of problems—namely, the paparazzi, the tabloids, the vindictive Keller and Sharpe families…
But I couldn’t get into that with Frankie, so I said, “We’re just lusting after each other.
It’s not like he has actual romantic feelings for me.
Nothing real could ever happen between us.
” At my last words, I shoved a pair of poles into their holding barrel with a little more force than necessary. That much, at least, was true.
Posting a hip against the ratty wooden counter and crossing her arms, Frankie ducked down to give me one of her big sister looks. “Are you sure it’s just about sex? I’ve never seen you like this.”
As I formulated a response, I gripped the next set of poles until my fingers turned white.
“I knew it,” said Frankie with a grin. “Tell him how you feel.”
“Estás loca? I don’t feel anything.”
“Well, then tell him all about the nothing you feel and see if he feels nothing too. And you can work through the nothing of it together.”