Chapter 23
NOLAN
“She’s got you wrapped around her little finger, doesn’t she?” Cressida asked, smirking at me over her wineglass.
“I don’t know what you mean.”
“The smitten look on your face says otherwise.”
It was New Year’s Eve and the resort was bustling with guests. After my last work meeting, I signed off early to meet Cressida for an afternoon drink at our exclusive cozy table in The Gilded Fern, making our public appearance to feed the tabloids a glimpse of us, blissful in our winter retreat.
“Things must be going well,” Cressida prompted. If she were anyone else, I’d have shut her down, but I didn’t mind her fishing for information. She genuinely cared, and she was the only one I could talk to.
“They are. We’re taking things slow,” I said, then took a casual sip of whiskey.
“Ah.” The arch in Cressida’s brow told me she saw right the fuck through me. “You’re holding back because you haven’t told her about the sale yet.”
Damn perceptive woman. “I have not.”
“Are you going to?”
I blew out a breath. All season, I’d let Val believe I was assessing the property for renovations.
Every time I’d thought about confessing, I felt like an asshole, and that feeling only increased the longer I remained silent.
I’m digging myself into a goddamn hole and I can’t seem to stop.
“Why ruin the good thing we have going? It can’t last anyway because of our engagement. ”
“So you feel perfectly fine lying by omission to the woman you’re falling in love with because you’re too chicken shit to be honest?”
Her accusation stopped me in my tracks. “You think I’m falling in love with her?”
“You brought her family here, you’re taking care of her brother, you want to buy the entire town for her. How do you think you’re not falling for her?”
“Don’t make me regret confiding in you about how I plan to woo my woman,” I deflected, then grew serious. “Because I can’t be falling for her, Cress. It’s—it’s impractical.”
“Love is hardly ever practical, Nolan. Emotions are by definition impractical.”
Leaning forward, I lowered my voice. “Why would I fall in love with her when it doesn’t matter how I feel? It changes nothing about our situation.”
Cressida’s lips thinned and she sipped her wine. “It might change things for Val if she knew how you really feel. And if you explained the situation you’re in with the board, maybe that will make the sale easier to handle? Soften the blow?”
I didn’t see it that way. “If I tell her all the dirty details of my plans for Hale’s Peak, it will prove I’m the callous CEO billionaire everyone thinks I am.
But being that person is the only way I’m going to beat Cyrus at his own twisted game.
In her eyes, I want to be just Nolan for as long as it can last. Telling her the truth will shatter all of that. ”
“So you’d rather have a relationship based on lies?”
“It’s not even a real relationship, Cress. It can’t be.”
“Tell that to your face.”
Ignoring that. “The season will end, and so will our involvement. What Val thinks of me after that doesn’t matter because I’ll never see her again.” But the words rang hollow, even to my own ears.
After fussing with the wine bottle for a few seconds, Cressida asked, “What if you could have Val for real? A real relationship.”
I frowned. “What do you mean?”
Cressida reached across the table to grip my hand.
“Nolan, I came to terms with this arranged marriage because you and I were both loners at the time. Knowing you were already married to your job and I wasn’t keeping you from anyone made it easier to stomach.
But now, you have Val. I cannot let you throw away your chance with her to protect me from my bullshit. ”
When I traced a finger over her cheek, I heard paparazzi cameras snap in the distance, souring my genuine moment of affection.
“You forget it’s my bullshit too. What Raife left you to deal with…
” I squeezed my fist until my knuckles popped.
I couldn’t tear open that wound of hers.
Not now. “And Cyrus will make sure the board axes me if we don’t go through with this. ”
“There has to be a way out,” she said, her perfectly manicured nails digging into my hand. Cressida was a fighter, and I was proud to see that Raife hadn’t completely destroyed that fire in her.
“I have made my peace with our situation, and Val is aware of our expiration date. In fact, parting ways in April was her suggestion. So let’s just keep things simple and move on as we were.”
“I thought you were a risk-taker, Nolan.”
“As long as you’re still in this engagement, I am too. I will not abandon you.” Not like Raife did.
Cressida frowned, but said, “Thank you,” and let the subject drop. Which gave me a perfect opening to ask something I knew would piss her off.
“Cora told me Raife called. Why didn’t you tell me he’s been bothering you?”
At the mention of the incident, she snatched her hand back to reach for her glass, finishing off the drink and pouring another. “I can’t let you handle all of my bullshit, Nolan.”
“He’s my brother, so he’s my bullshit.”
Waving me off, she said, “Cora threatened him and I haven’t heard from him since. I think she scared him off.”
“If he’s still the same hard-headed motherfucker I remember, not much scares that man off.”
“I’m handling it,” she said with more force, then softened. “But I appreciate you asking. You’ve always had my back, and I’ll never forget that.” She squeezed my hand again. “And I’ll always have your back, even when you don’t want me to.”
If there wasn’t a table between us, I might have hugged her. “You’re too good for me, Cress.”
“Of course I am. Now, tell me more about your plans to ‘woo your woman.’ If you’re determined to give this relationship a shelf life, the least you can do is make it the best four months of Val’s life. Have you considered adding whipped cream into your bedroom activities?”
This conversation is going to kill me.
An hour later, I clutched my ski poles in a death grip, scowling at the ski lift. It wasn’t the one my mother died on, but it might as well have been. All of those things were death traps, as far as I was concerned.
But when I’d met up with Val and her brothers, one eyelash-flutter from Val was all it took for me to agree to skiing.
That, and her kid brother had attached himself to my leg like an octopus, begging me to join them.
I’d thought we were going on the bunny slopes, which would avoid the need for a ski lift, but to my utter horror, Juanito declared he was ready for the big leagues.
And when I saw the joy on Val’s face at her brother’s carefree happiness, how could I deny them anything?
So now I was standing in line for the lift with all the enthusiasm of a bear who’d sat on a cactus.
“Nolan, will you sit by me?” Juanito asked, tugging on my sleeve.
Okay. Now that, I could deny. The thought of being responsible for keeping the pint-sized human from sliding out of the seat while I fought off a panic attack was not something I was qualified to handle. It must have shown on my face, because Val swooped in.
“This one’s only a two-seater, so you’re with Diego this time, little dude,” she said, strapping into her board, looking cute in her signature vintage ski jacket and black pants with big side pockets.
I tried to focus on that instead of the paralyzing fear twisting my insides.
Placing a mitten-clad hand on my arm, Val gave me a serious look. “It’s okay if you’re not ready.”
I glared at the ski lift. It was a beautiful day, no wind, nothing but sunshine.
Perfect conditions. And yet I was frozen in place.
I’d long ago accepted my fear of ski lifts would be a staple for the rest of my life.
But Val loved riding, and I wanted to share this experience with her.
After my conversation with Cressida, I’d realized she was right—at least partially.
Val deserved the very best that I could give her.
I was pissed off that an inanimate fucking object could have such a hold on me even after all these years, and I might never get a chance to do this with her again. So it was now or never.
I chose now.
“Let’s go.”
Val nodded with what I wanted to think was an impressed look and scooted forward on her board as the line inched up.
Beside us, Austin breezed through the line for the ski school, a trail of kiddies in his wake.
“Hey, Val,” he said in a familiar tone that I didn’t like.
It reminded me that they had been dating, or whatever, before Val and I…
happened. Are they still seeing each other?
I didn’t think so but hadn’t asked her, and I needed to remedy that as soon as fucking possible.
“Hey, Austin. Good out there today?” She smiled at him and I had the absurd male urge to tear his eyeballs out for looking at her. I’d never considered myself a caveman, but Val brought out the possessive side of me. I couldn’t say I minded that too much.
“Hell yeah.” He shot a sheepish glance at the kids behind him. “Er, I mean, for sure. Fresh powder. Make sure to hit Cobra for me.” He waved and ushered his brood onto the lift.
I narrowed my eyes after his retreating figure until Val’s elbow in my ribs brought my attention back to her. “You trying to set him on fire with the force of your glare?” she asked.
“Do you think it would work? Maybe I should try harder.”
Val rolled her eyes and we moved up in line. Thankfully it was a long one. I had at least ten more minutes before I met my demise.
“You were facedown in my pussy earlier,” she said under her breath, “so I think it’s safe to say I like you, and you can stop scaring off all the men who so much as dare to look at me.” She settled her gaze on me. “I don’t want any of them. I want you.”
My inner caveman roared at Val’s claim. It was the first time she’d ever verbally admitted that, and it had me growing hard in my tight ski pants.
I loved that her self-confidence was blossoming.
The more I learned about her, the more I wanted to help her get through the hang-ups she had about herself so that when she looked in the mirror, she could see the amazing, kind-hearted, capable woman I saw.
For the rest of my time at Hale’s Peak, I vowed to do everything in my power to show her just how goddamn vibrant she was.
Starting with getting my ass on this ski lift and facing—one of—my biggest fears so I could be beside her as she did something she loved.
“You look like you need a distraction,” Val said, glancing at me tentatively.
“Fuck yes, I do,” I said, then landed on the perfect topic. My current predicament had me dwelling on my mother and how I had some more leads to follow up on. “I wanted to ask you about something—Helene’s typewriter. I think it’s what my pen pal used to write the letters.”
“That typewriter is Helene’s prized possession. I swear she loves that thing more than her husband.”
“So she probably wouldn’t let just anyone use it.”
Val shrugged. “She keeps it in her stationary shop, so they’d either have to be a close friend or relative or have a key and know the security code.
But as for someone she’d allow to use her precious typewriter who would also have knowledge about your mother’s accident?
I’m sorry, Nolan. I really have no idea. ”
“Hmm,” I said, tapping my ski poles into the packed snow. “So this person most likely used it without her knowing.”
“I wish I could be more helpful. You could ask Tess for ideas. She knows everyone in town too.”
I planned to do just that. “This has been better than anything Jason, my security guy, has done, so he might find himself out of a job. Thank you.” I filed it away to deal with later when I wasn’t sweating bullets.
Because we were next on the lift, and I wanted to puke.
“I couldn’t do this without you, you know,” I said to her.
At that, Val turned to me with a beatific smile that got my heart pounding like a teenager with a crush.
“You’re so fucking pretty, Val.” I wanted to lift a hand and cup her cheek but settled for watching those cheeks tinge pink at my words.
As we shuffled toward the loading area, a cold sweat slicked my back.
My heart thudded as the metal chair entered the station, slowly rotating until it was behind us.
It hit the back of my knees, forcing me to sit, then it scooped us up and carried us hundreds of feet in the air—and to my death, probably.
Val’s hand gripped my leg and my breaths wheezed in my chest like a goddamn broken accordion.
“It’s okay, Nolan. You’re safe. Everything is fine.
” An unending chant of reassurances wrapped around me in a meaningless flow of words.
I didn’t hear what she said. Didn’t care.
I just wanted the soothing sound of her voice, my tether to reality as I closed my eyes.
“This is a big step,” Val said. “I’m proud of you for taking it. Your mom would be proud too.”
I opened my eyes and found hers, glowing in the sunlight.
“What made you decide to take the leap?” she asked.
“You took a leap first—getting involved with me even when I’ve given you every reason not to.
And I don’t want to be afraid anymore.” The double meaning of my words wasn’t lost on me.
I didn’t want to be afraid of ski lifts, nor did I want to be afraid of this thing with Val, even though the deck was stacked against us.
I couldn’t give her as much as she deserved, but maybe getting on a lift with her for the first time in twenty years would show her how much she meant to me.
The ride to the top was ten agonizing minutes—I knew because I counted all of them. When we finally got off the lift, I sucked in lungfuls of air. Val pulled me into a hug, bouncing up and down. “You did it! How do you feel?”
With her bright smile flashing in the sunlight, the smile that had first captivated me over a month ago, something grabbed my heart and squeezed.
I took off my glove so I could drag my fingers across the curve of her face, not caring who was around to see.
The touch was innocent enough, but this thing brewing between us certainly wasn’t.
“Fucking amazing,” I said. “Really fucking amazing.”
At my words, her impossibly bright smile grew even wider.
“But I can think of something even more incredible,” I said with a slow grin as she leaned into my touch.
“Oh yeah? What’s that?”
“Climbing into a hot shower with you after freezing my ass off all day.”
Val’s cheeks turned that pretty shade of pink I liked as she said, “I think that can be arranged.”