Chapter 49
I'm here in my room, just playing CODM. Hanggang ngayon, hindi pa rin niya ako pinapansin. I get it-nasaktan siya. I understand her. Pero kailangan ba talaga na itulak niya ako palayo ng ganito? I didn't even meet her before.
Hindi ko naman intensyong manakit.
But maybe.
.
.
maybe it really is my fault.
Wala akong klase ngayon.
Supposedly, I should feel relaxed, but my mind's been heavy since I woke up. Wala rin si Ate rito sa bahay kasi may event daw silang lahat ng professors sa university. Parang faculty bonding or something. I heard they rented a resort and mag-oovernight sila doon. Good for them, I guess.
It's already 10 a.m. and I still haven't eaten anything.
Wala akong energy-hindi para kumain, hindi rin para tumayo.
I just stayed in bed, playing Call of Duty Mobile nonstop, kahit wala naman akong gana.
Parang automatic na lang yung galaw ng kamay ko habang nakatitig sa screen.
My head's spinning a bit, but I'm used to it.
Sanay na rin akong hindi pinapansin.
I kept playing, lost in my own thoughts, until halos mag-12 noon na. That's when Manang knocked on my door and peeked inside.
"Nak, masama ba pakiramdam mo? Hindi ka pa kumakain mula kanina," sabi ni Manang, her voice soft but obviously concerned.
I didn't know what to say. Hindi ko rin alam kung paano ko sasabihin yung totoo-na hindi ko alam kung masama ba talaga pakiramdam ko o kung nasasaktan lang talaga ako emotionally.
"Okay lang po ako," sagot ko sa kanya, kahit alam kong hindi totoo. "Wala lang po akong gana."
"May nangyari ba?" tanong niya, that gentle kind of question na parang kilalang-kilala ka na niya kahit wala ka pang sinasabi. Manang has seen me grow up. She knows me better than I'd like to admit.
"Ah, wala po. Kakain na po ako mamaya," I replied, forcing a small smile. She nodded and gave me a soft smile back before slowly walking out of my room.
As soon as Manang stepped out of the room, I let out a deep sigh. The heaviness in my chest still hadn't left, even after hours of playing. I closed my eyes, trying to block out the noise in my head-but no matter what I did, she kept coming back to my thoughts.
My phone buzzed. A notification from Message App. I quickly grabbed it, hoping it was her.
It wasn't. Just our CODM group chat clan.
"Rank later?" Jet asked.
I didn't reply. I just stared at the screen, feeling the excitement from earlier fade into nothing.
I closed my eyes again. I remembered the last messages she sent... or didn't send. That one typing indicator that disappeared before any words ever came. I understood her-she was hurt. But does it really have to be like this? Like I didn't matter at all?
Suddenly, the door opened again. Manang came in, carrying a tray of food.
"Hindi mo pa rin nilalabas ang sarili mo, kaya naisip ko na dalhin ko na lang dito. Kahit konti lang, kainin mo ha?"
I looked at her, then at the tray. Fried rice, egg, and hotdog-some of my favorites.
"Salamat po, Manang," I said quietly.
"Alam mo, kahit hindi mo sabihin, nararamdaman kong may mabigat sa loob mo. Hindi man kita pipilitin magsalita, gusto ko lang ipaalala na hindi ka nag-iisa." She gently tapped my shoulder before heading out.
After she left, I stared at the food for a moment. I took a bite. It didn't taste like much, but at least I was putting something in my stomach.
I sat back down on the bed, tray still in hand, my phone in the other.
I started typing a message for her.
Hi. I know you don't want to talk to me right now, and I understand. I just wanted to say... I'm sorry. For everything. I hope you're okay. And even if not today, even if not tomorrow... I hope that when the time comes that you're ready, I'll still be here.
I hovered over the "Send" button.
Should I send it? Or just delete?
I don't want to bother her but I want her to know that I'm still here, waiting for her.
I finished my breakfast, or brunch let's say. Kahit wala akong gana, inubos kopa rin dahil nag effort si manang na ibigay sa akin 'yon.
After eating, I was just patiently waiting for her reply, pero kahit seen, ay wala akong nakuha.
Kung noon, isang message ko lang ay agad na niyang na se-seen, pero ngayon wala na talaga at halos isang oras na akong naghihintay.
I finally decided to sleep, wala naman akong gagawin.
I eventually dozed off, the heaviness in my chest pulling me into an uneasy sleep. The last thing I remembered was the message I never sent-still sitting in my inbox, waiting... just like me.
I woke up to the constant vibration of my phone against the blanket. My head throbbed slightly, and the room was dim.
I blinked a few times and reached for my phone.
8:00 PM.
Damn. I slept that long?
I saw several missed calls-all from Ate. My chest tightened a bit. She was calling again now.
I quickly answered. "Hello?"
"You finally answered," she said, slightly out of breath. "I forgot an important document in my drawer. I really need it right now-it's kind of an emergency. Can you bring it here?"
I scratched my head out of instinct, even though she couldn't see me. "Uh... where? At the resort?"
"Yes. I already sent the driver to pick you up. He'll be there in about 10 minutes. Just wait outside, okay? Please, I owe you."
"Okay, okay."
"Thank you! See you here."
She hung up before I could say anything else.
I sighed, throwing off the blanket and slowly getting out of bed. My body felt heavy, but at least now I had a reason to move. I went into her room, opened the drawer, and found the folder she was talking about.
But before I got down, I decided to shower. Hindi pa ako naliligo, alangan naman pumunta ako nang walang ligo doon.
The water hit my skin like a soft wake-up call.
I stood under the stream for a moment, letting it wash away the weight I'd been carrying all day. It didn't really help-but at least it made me feel a little more human.
I grabbed the shampoo, scrubbed quickly, and tried not to let my thoughts wander back to her.
Too late.
She was always there-lingering in the quiet moments, echoing in my mind.
After rinsing off, I wrapped myself in a towel and stepped out of the bathroom. I moved slowly, dragging my feet as I changed into something simple-just a hoodie and joggers. No need to impress anyone. I wasn't in the mood.
I ran a towel through my damp hair, staring at my reflection in the mirror for a while. My eyes looked tired. Empty.
Then I heard the faint sound of a car horn downstairs.
That must be the driver.
I grabbed the folder from Ate's drawer, held it against my chest, and headed out of the room. My body felt like lead with every step I took down the stairs. Parang may buhat akong hindi ko alam kung saan galing-pagod, sakit, lungkot... lahat na ata.
As soon as I reached the last step, I saw Manang at the bottom of the stairs, already opening the door.
"Andiyan na ang driver. Nakahanda na 'yung sasakyan," she said softly, looking at me with concern in her eyes.
I nodded faintly, tightening my grip on the folder. "Thanks, Manang."
I walked past her and stepped out into the cool air. The driver opened the car door for me, and I climbed in without a word.
I leaned against the window, folder on my lap, my body heavy, my mind heavier.
Still no reply from her.
Still waiting.
While waiting, I didn't even notice that I have arrived.
I stood there for a moment, letting everything sink in. The resort was quiet-too quiet for something this big. That's when I remembered Ate said they rented the whole place. No wonder there weren't any random guests walking around in beachwear. It was just her... and the other professors.
I slowly made my way toward the back, just like she told me to. The air smelled like grilled food and something sweet-maybe fruit punch or some cocktail mix. The soft sound of music drifted through the open space, and as I got closer, I saw the rest of them gathered around by the pool.
There they were-Ate and her colleagues, laughing, playing games, and drinking.
One of the male professors had a bottle in his hand, spinning it on the ground as a few others clapped and cheered.
Some of them were already tipsy, red-cheeked and giggling, while others were just getting into their drinks.
I watched as Ate threw her head back, laughing at something someone said.
I hadn't seen her this relaxed in a while.
It felt... strange. Seeing her like that. Carefree, while I was standing here, barely holding it together.
I hesitated for a second before walking closer.
She noticed me immediately. Her eyes widened a little, probably realizing how late it was and that I had just arrived.
"Sylvia!" she called out, weaving through the group and walking over to me.
I just handed her the folder without saying much. "Here's the document, Ate."
She took it with both hands and gave me a grateful smile. "Thank you. Have you eaten? Do you want to join us?"
?I shook my head and looked away.
"No, I'll go back home."
?
?Ate's smile faltered a little, but she didn't push. "Alright. At least let me know when the driver's here so I can walk you out."
?
?I nodded and turned away, clutching my hoodie tighter around me as I walked off.
?
?But before I stepped out, I found myself looking around-searching.
?
?I didn't know why, but I was hoping I'd see her.
?
?Cynthia.
?
?I wandered a bit past the pool area, peeking behind one of the pillars that led to a more private section of the resort.
That's when I saw her.
?
?She was sitting alone at the edge of a patio, legs pulled close to her chest, a glass of wine dangling loosely in her hand. Her head leaned slightly to one side, and even from a distance, I could tell-she was drunk.
?
?Her eyes were half-lidded, barely focused, and her expression was unreadable. Empty, maybe. Or tired. I stood there quietly, hidden behind a post, not daring to say anything. Not now.
?
?She looked so far away. Like her body was there, but her mind wasn't.
?
?I wanted to go up to her, say something, anything-but what would I even say?
What right did I have?
I'd only make it worse.
?
?So I stayed still, watching her for a few more seconds before slowly backing away. I didn't want to be another thing she had to deal with tonight.
?
?As I was walking toward the exit, quietly hoping no one else would notice me, someone called out behind me.
?
"Hey! Sylvia, younger sister of Athena, right?" a guy called out to me from across the room, his tone casual but with an edge I couldn't quite place.
"Yes po?" I replied, trying my best to sound polite, even though my mind was racing.
I could already feel a sense of unease creeping in. Even Ate, who had been trying to ignore the noise around us, shot a sharp glance toward the guy.
"We're actually playing games here. Join us, since it's Seinna's turn to play," he added with an inviting grin.
His words made it sound like the situation was casual, but the look in his eyes told me something else entirely. Behind him, the rest of the guys, all professors from the university, chuckled loudly, egging each other on.
"Shut up, Liam. Don't drag my sister into this. Don't test my patience," Ate said, her voice suddenly cutting through the noise like a blade.
The room fell silent for a split second. Everyone knew when Ate was upset - no one dared to challenge her.
"Alright, alright. Since Sylvia doesn't want to join, I guess you'll have no choice but to drink this whole glass of soju," Liam smirked, holding up a large glass filled with the clear, potent liquid.
My heart dropped. Ms. Dizon, who had been quietly sitting on the couch, visibly shifted in discomfort. She wasn't the type to drink alcohol at all, and I could see the hesitation in her eyes. Despite the unease, she forced a strained smile, trying to act like it didn't bother her.
"I'll do it," I heard myself say, the words leaving my mouth before I had a chance to really think about it.
I glanced at Cynthia, who was standing at the edge of the group, one eyebrow raised in disbelief. I could see her trying to piece together the situation, her eyes flashing with confusion.
"What the hell are you talking about, Via? Stop it," Ate snapped, her voice thick with concern and anger now.
"I can't let her drink that, Ate. It's too strong for someone who isn't used to it," I said, trying to explain my reasoning, but my stomach was already turning at the thought.
Ate sighed deeply, her lips pressed into a thin line. She was clearly torn between standing up for Ms. Dizon and maintaining control over the situation. I could tell she felt helpless, just like I did.
"Okay. 'Yon pala eh! But let me explain the game to you," Liam continued, not missing a beat.
His grin widened as he spoke. "So we have vanilla cream here, and we'll put the cream on Seinna's body, and then you have to lick it all off. Simple as that, right? Let's start!" he said, his voice rising in excitement.
The guys behind him erupted in cheers, their voices laced with drunken anticipation.
All of them were visibly excited by the twisted idea they had come up with.
My eyes darted to Ate and her friends, whose faces were filled with a mix of disbelief and disgust.
Cynthia's eyes locked with mine, and there was a storm of emotions in them - a mix of anger, disappointment, and something else that I couldn't quite decipher.
I was dumbfounded.
I had no idea that the game they were playing would take such a twisted turn.
The air reeked of alcohol, the clinking of bottles and the laughter of the men only made the atmosphere more suffocating.
The weight of the situation pressed down on me, and I found myself torn between my own discomfort and a rising need to protect Ms.
Dizon.
I didn't want Cynthia to witness this, but I also couldn't stand idly by and let something worse happen to Ms.
Dizon.
"Okay," I finally said, the word coming out of my mouth almost involuntarily.
My heart pounded in my chest. I glanced at Cynthia, whose eyes were burning with fury, but I quickly looked away. I couldn't face her, not now. I needed to focus on what I had to do to end this nightmare.
Ms.
Dizon was sitting on the couch, wearing a bra and shorts.
It was a surprisingly revealing outfit for her, considering how reserved she usually was.
The vulnerability in her posture, the way she stiffened as the guys ogled her, made my skin crawl.
The contrast between her usual modesty and the situation unfolding now was so stark, it almost made my chest ache.
"Okayyy!! You have to lick it all off, no backing out allowed!" Liam yelled enthusiastically, clearly relishing the discomfort he was causing.
Ms. Dizon's eyes met mine, her gaze pleading for me to do something, anything to stop this. But all I could do was look back at her, helpless and ashamed.
The game began.
Liam reached for the vanilla cream, and with deliberate slowness, began applying it to Ms.
Dizon's body. He started with the side of her lips, smearing the cream there before trailing it down her neck, over the curve above her breasts, and then lower, down to her stomach, and finally to her thighs. Each movement was slow, almost calculated, as if he was drawing out the discomfort for all of us. I could feel my stomach churn as I watched him. My heart was racing, my hands trembling.
"You're too much, Liam. My sister is just a student. Don't do this to her, Via," Ate warned, her voice now laced with tight anger and barely contained fury. But the men just laughed, their drunken jeers echoing in the room as if it was all just a joke to them.
"Okay lang, Ate. I can manage," I said, trying to sound confident, even though every part of me was screaming to stop.
My throat was dry, and I felt a surge of nausea rise in my chest, but I had to push it down. I couldn't let them hurt Ms. Dizon any more than they already had.
"Huwag ka na kasing KJ, Athena! Bunso mona nga mismo G mag laro eh!" Liam retorted, his words slurring as his friends laughed along.
The atmosphere felt heavier with each passing second, like the room itself was suffocating under the weight of their excitement.
"Miss, can I have your permission? I'll make it quick," I asked softly, my voice barely a whisper as I bent toward Ms. Dizon.
The room felt like it was closing in on me. Every single person was watching us now, their eyes glued to the unfolding scene, their anticipation thick in the air. I felt so exposed, as though I were being torn apart by their stares.
"You don't have to do this, honey. Please, just back out," Ms. Dizon whispered, her voice shaky and full of embarrassment, but there was also fear there.
She was trapped in this situation, and so was I. Her eyes locked with mine, silently pleading for me to stop, but I could see the resignation in them. She knew, just as I did, that there was no escaping this.
"It's okay, Miss. Don't worry. I know you're not used to drinking. Let's just get this over with, Miss," I said, my voice trying to sound reassuring, but the knot in my stomach was making it hard to breathe.
I smiled at her weakly, though I could feel my own heart breaking for her. She just sighed heavily, her face flushing with embarrassment. I could see how torn she was. She didn't want to disappoint me, but she couldn't escape the reality of what was happening.
Unexpectedly, the speakers blared to life.
The harsh, distorted guitar riffs of "I See Red" by Everybody Loves an Outlaw blared through the room, adding a layer of chaos to the already tense situation.
The music was dark, aggressive, and it only amplified the sickening atmosphere in the room.
I couldn't focus on anything other than the pulsating beats that seemed to shake the very air around us.
"Ayown! That's much better. Let the game begin!" another guy shouted excitedly, egging me on.
The rest of the group erupted into louder cheers, their slurred voices adding to the twisted energy in the room. The music, the alcohol, the laughter - it all seemed to blend into one, and I felt like I was suffocating.
I took a deep breath and began.
The first touch of the cream on Ms.
Dizon's lips was almost unbearable. I could feel her pulse quicken beneath my touch, her skin warm and soft, but the tension in her body was impossible to ignore. Every movement of my tongue seemed to be a betrayal, every second felt like an eternity. I glanced at Cynthia, whose eyes were now seething with rage, but I couldn't stop.
I had to keep going.
"Miss, should I continue? Are you okay?" I whispered, trying to gauge her reaction. She nodded stiffly, avoiding my gaze. Her face was flushed, but I could tell she was trying to keep it together.
I moved down to her neck, but as I licked the cream from her skin, the taste of vanilla seemed to stick in my throat, growing more sickly sweet and repulsive with every second.
I could feel Ms.
Dizon's hand tightening around my wrist, her fingers cold with fear. Her body was trembling beneath me, but she didn't say anything.
I could hear her shallow breaths, her attempts to hold it together as her body trembled under my touch.
"Honey..." she whispered, her voice tight with emotion, but I couldn't respond. I didn't have the words. I just needed to finish this.
I moved lower to her stomach, and that's when I saw it - the cream had dripped lower, dangerously close to the waistband of her shorts. My breath caught in my throat, and I hesitated. For a moment, everything around me seemed to freeze. I looked at Cynthia, whose gaze was now a mixture of disbelief and fury. The others cheered louder, urging me on, but I couldn't look at them.
I let out a shaky breath, swallowing hard, and began to lick the cream from her stomach.
But just as I was about to move lower, the music cut off abruptly.
A heavy silence fell over the room, and all the drunken laughter died down.
The footsteps approaching were slow, deliberate, and commanding.
Everyone froze as they heard the authoritative voice begin.
"Let's stop this. It's not appropriate for a student to do this to her professor, even if we are outside of the campus," the woman said, her voice cutting through the tension like a knife. She walked slowly toward us, her eyes blazing with disapproval.
As the heavy silence echoed through the room, the figure approaching us became clearer. It was Cynthia.
She stood in the doorway, her back straight and her posture commanding, her eyes flashing with something I had never seen before-pure fury mixed with an undeniable strength.
The once timid, reserved woman who I had known now seemed to carry an aura of authority, as if the very air around her bent to her will.
She was no longer just a woman-she was a force, and in that moment, the whole room could feel it.
Liam, who had been so smug just moments before, faltered.
His grin disappeared, and his eyes widened in shock.
The other professors who had been cheering, egging us on, suddenly looked uneasy, shifting uncomfortably in their seats, avoiding Cynthia's gaze. It was as though they had forgotten the consequences of their actions until now.
"You-" she pointed sharply at Liam, her voice ice cold. "You should have known better than to even think this was acceptable. The only thing you should have been doing tonight was apologizing for the disrespect you've shown."
Liam opened his mouth, but no words came out. The other professors fidgeted, shifting in their seats as though they wanted to leave but couldn't. It was as if the very room had become too small for them.
"Do you think you can just treat someone like this? That there's no consequence?" Cynthia continued, her words laced with contempt. "You don't get to toy with people's dignity like it's some game.
There was a palpable change in the air. The men, now suddenly aware of just how serious this had become, shrank back, the bravado they had once displayed evaporating.
"You think it's funny? That it's just a game?" Cynthia's voice was unwavering, yet the fire behind her words burned hotter with every syllable. She walked further into the room, her heels clicking sharply against the floor with each step, her presence overwhelming.
A tension-filled silence hung in the air, but then the next words she spoke were the ones that made the entire room go still, like they were suddenly realizing the weight of what they had done.
"You. All of you," she gestured to the group of men who had been complicit in this twisted game, "are disgraceful. Not only as professionals, but as human beings. You don't get to treat people like they are your playthings." Her gaze was as sharp as a dagger now, piercing each of them, one by one.
Liam stepped back, his face pale as the realization of his actions hit him. The other professors, still reeling from Cynthia's presence, exchanged nervous glances.
"If I were you," Cynthia's voice dropped into a low, menacing tone, "I'd start packing your things. Because you are done here. All of you. Consider yourselves terminated." She turned to the door, her eyes glinting with authority. "And if you dare think for one second that you can get away with this, trust me, I will make sure you'll regret this.
The room seemed to shrink as the weight of her words settled in.
A beat passed.
The men stood frozen, none of them daring to challenge her.
Even Liam, who usually wouldn't back down from anything, was now reduced to nothing more than a shadow of the confident man he once was. His voice, when it finally came, was shaky and unsure. "W-we can talk about this," he stammered, but it was too late.
She stood, giving one final, piercing glance at the men in the room. "Now, leave. Before I make sure you regret ever thinking this was a joke."
Without another word, the group of professors slowly, reluctantly, began to file out of the room.
Their heads were low, their shoulders slumped with defeat.
Even Liam, who had been the ringleader of this whole sick game, was now nothing more than a shell of his former self.
He couldn't meet Cynthia's gaze as he shuffled out the door.
As the last one left, the door slammed shut with finality, leaving the room to settle into a profound silence.
After that, Cynthia didn't say a word. But she grabbed my arms, pulling me so forcefully. She took me inside the house here at the resort. Hindi siya umiimik, pero ramdam ko 'yung inis at galit niya sa pagkakahawak niya sa akin.
Her grip was tight, almost like she was trying to control herself, like she was holding back everything she wanted to say but couldn't. I could feel the anger radiating from her, like it was seeping into me with every step we took.
"It hurts," I said, my voice barely a whisper, but loud enough for her to hear as I continued to follow her wherever she was heading.
"Shut up," she said harshly, her voice colder than I had ever heard it.