Chapter 57
It's March ! And guess what? It's my birthday! Yeheyyy! I'm turning seven noww.
"Mommy, I don't want to celebrate my birthday in manila! It's boring there!" I said, pouting my lips. I don't like there in the city. It's boring not like here in the province it's fun.
"Baby, kailangan na natin bumalik doon. May kailangan pa kaming asikasuhin sa Paris, matatagalan tayo bumalik dito." my mommy said, and my eyes was teary already.
"Also, your Lolo needs to have a check up there. Mahihirapan na kung pabalik-balik pa siya." she added, and my tears was falling already.
"Shh, don't cry baby. Hon, babalik nalang tayo rito. May private jet naman tayo, madali lang 'yan. Halika na rito baby." my Papa said, hugging me.
"R-really?" I sniffed, wiping my tears away with the back of my small hand.
"Oo naman, baby," Papa said, kneeling down so we're face to face. He gently ruffled my hair. "Pagbalik namin, maglalaro tayo nang matagal. Kahit anong laro gusto mo!"
"Promise?" I asked again, just to be very, very sure.
Papa smiled and crossed his fingers. "Promise. Pinky promise pa, oh." He stuck out his pinky.
I immediately hooked my tiny pinky around his. "Super duper promise?"
"Super duper mega promise!" he said, making me giggle.
Then Mommy leaned closer and kissed my forehead. "At ako naman, baby, bibili tayo ng ice cream. Kahit ilang scoops, kahit anong flavor gusto mo. Strawberry, chocolate, vanilla... lahat na!"
My mouth dropped open like a fish. "Really?!"
"Oo, baby," Mommy said, laughing at my face. "Sabi ko naman sa'yo, anything for our baby princess."
"Yaaayyy!" I shouted, jumping up and down.
Everyone laughed. Even Lolo, who was sitting on his comfy chair, clapped his hands a little while smiling at me.
"Tapos ako, Cynthia," said Tita, fixing some clothes in a suitcase, "gagawa ako ng special spaghetti mo pagbalik namin."
I gasped so loud. "Special spaghetti?! My favorite?!"
"Oo naman! Ikaw pa!" Tita laughed.
I threw my arms around her. "Thank you, Titaaa!"
"But..." I pouted a little, looking at Mommy and Papa. "Are you sure you have to go?"
Mommy hugged me tightly. "Baby, kailangan namin umalis sandali. Para kay Lolo rin ito, para magpagaling siya."
"And Paris is very far..." I whispered, snuggling against her shoulder.
Papa carried me up in his arms. "Pero mabilis lang kami, baby. Promise namin 'yan."
"And when you come back, we’ll play princess and dragons, right?" I asked, my voice small.
"Oo, baby," Papa said, grinning. "Ako ang dragon mo. Raaaawr!" he growled playfully, shaking me gently.
I screamed and laughed at the same time. "You're a funny dragon, Papa!"
Everyone smiled at us. It felt so warm inside my chest.
"Baby, stay muna kay Tita Anna, ha?" Mommy said, fixing my hair a little. "Makikinig ka kay Tita, promise?"
"Yes, Mommy. I'll be a very very good girl!" I saluted them, standing up straight like a soldier. "I will protect the house and the toys!"
"Good girl," Papa said proudly.
When it was time for them to leave, I stood by the big door of the house, holding my little teddy bear very tightly.
"Bye-bye, baby," Mommy said, kissing my forehead again and again.
"Bye, my princess," Papa said, giving me the biggest bear hug.
"Be a good girl ha," Tita and Tito said, waving.
I nodded hard, even if my eyes were getting watery again.
"I love you!" I shouted, waving my hand up high.
"We love you too, baby!" Mommy and Papa shouted back.
I watched as they walked to the car, Lolo moving slowly with Papa's help. The car doors closed, and soon, the car disappeared down the road.
I was left alone.
But my Tita Anna was here, and she was always maldita-mad, grumpy, and... not fun. I tried to talk to her, but she was just... not interested. I kept asking her if we could play, but she just said, "Cynthia, tumahimik ka na lang, gusto ko magpahinga."
It was so boring. I sat on the swing, pushing myself back and forth, watching the mango tree's leaves shake in the wind. The sun was hot, and it made my head feel dizzy.
Tita Anna was sitting on the porch, looking at her phone. She didn't even say "Happy Birthday" to me. It was like she didn't care at all. I looked at her, and she just sighed loudly.
"Dami pa kasing arte, nasa Manila na sana tayo ngayon," she whispered, but I could hear it.
I frowned. I didn't want to go to Manila. Not now. Not when I could be here, playing, and having fun.
"Why don't you wanna be with me here?" I asked, trying to be nice. "We could do something fun, like... like... catch frogs!"
"Cynthia, ang kulit mo," she said, not even looking up from her phone. "Hindi ba't gusto mong maghintay na lang? Hindi ba't birthday mo?"
I nodded. "Yes! But it's more fun here, Tita! I don't want to go to Manila. I don't like it there."
"Eh, ano nga ba ang gusto mo? Laging ganito, Cynthia. Laging magulo," she said, shaking her head. "Huwag mong gawing drama ang lahat."
I blinked and bit my lip. "I'm not making drama! I'm just bored. I want to play with you, Tita."
But she didn't answer. She just kept scrolling on her phone like I wasn't even there. I wanted to run away and go play by myself, but I didn't want to leave her alone.
I sighed and looked at the sky. Maybe I would have more fun when Mama and Papa came back. But for now, it was just me and Tita Anna, and it felt like the whole world was quiet... and boring.
While waiting, it's already 3 pm and they are not still there. I miss them.
"Tita, where are they? I miss them." I said, we are here in the salas.
It was already 3 PM, and Mama and Papa still weren't back. I kept looking at the clock, hoping they'd come home soon.
I really missed them.
I missed Mama's hugs and Papa's funny jokes.
I was bored with Tita Anna.
She didn't even want to play or talk to me, and she was still staring at her phone, looking grumpy as ever.
I was sitting on the sofa, my legs swinging back and forth, trying to make the time pass faster. I looked over at Tita Anna and asked again, "Tita, where are they? I miss them."
Tita Anna didn't even look up from her phone. She was too busy scrolling through something, her eyebrows furrowed like she was in the middle of something important. "Hindi ko alam, Cynthia," she said, her voice flat and uninterested. "Baka traffic pa sa kalsada. Siguro matagal pa silang babalik. Tumahimik ka na lang."
I frowned, feeling my heart sink a little. I hated when she was like this. She was so cold. I just wanted someone to talk to, but she was always busy with her phone or doing something else. It felt like she didn't care at all.
I stood up from the sofa and walked over to the window, peeking outside. "I don't want them to be stuck in traffic. I want to see them now. It's my birthday, Tita! It's supposed to be fun!" I said, my voice a little louder than usual.
Tita Anna sighed, but this time she put down her phone, her eyes rolling in annoyance. "Ano bang gusto mo, Cynthia? Kung hindi ka maghihintay ng tahimik, hindi kita aasikasuhin," she snapped. "Laging ganyan, laging magulo. Birthday mo nga, pero hindi ibig sabihin nun, ikaw lang ang may kailangan."
I stood there, looking out the window, feeling frustrated. "But I don't like it here. I want to be with Mama and Papa! Why can't you just be nice to me?" I whispered to myself, but I knew Tita Anna wouldn't hear.
She didn't answer me right away. Instead, she stood up, walked over to the kitchen, and opened the fridge, taking out some cold water. She didn't even offer me a glass. I felt like a little nobody.
I turned back toward the sofa and sat down again, crossing my arms. I looked at the clock again. Why weren't they home yet?
I wanted to scream or cry, but I didn't. I just stayed quiet, hoping for the best. I closed my eyes and imagined Mama and Papa walking through the door, smiling at me and wishing me a happy birthday like I had been dreaming about.
I didn't care if Tita Anna didn't want to talk. I just wanted them here. I didn't want to be alone with her anymore.
I sat on the sofa, my legs hanging over the edge, kicking the air in frustration.
Every minute felt like an hour.
I kept glancing at the door, hoping that Mama and Papa would walk through it.
I just wanted to see their faces, hear their voices, and forget about this boring, quiet house with Tita Anna.
Tita Anna was in the kitchen now, making a sandwich, but she wasn't talking to me, not even a glance my way. It was like I wasn't even here. I stared at the back of her head, wishing she'd at least say something, anything.
After a few minutes, I couldn't take it anymore. I stood up, walking toward the kitchen. "Tita," I called out, trying to sound calm, "are they really going to be gone that long? It's my birthday."
She didn't even turn around. "Kung gusto mo, maghintay ka na lang. Hindi ko alam kung anong oras sila makakabalik," she said, still not looking at me. She was slathering peanut butter on bread, making it look like she was in her own little world, completely ignoring me.
"But... it's my birthday! I want to be with Mama and Papa. You can't just leave me here all by myself," I said, my voice rising a little, trying not to sound too whiny. But I couldn't help it. It felt like she didn't care.
"Cynthia, 'di ba't sinabi ko na nga, maghintay ka na lang. Hindi ko kasalanan kung matagal sila, ha. Baka may traffic, or baka masyadong dami ang kailangan nilang gawin," she said, her tone growing more impatient.
She placed the sandwich down, wiping her hands on her apron as she finally turned to face me.
"Hindi ba't birthday mo nga? Bakit ang dami mong reklamo?"
"I'm not complaining!" I said, stomping my foot. "I just want to be with them. It's not fun here with you!"
Tita Anna raised an eyebrow, and for a second, she looked at me like I was annoying her even more than usual. "Ay, Diyos ko, Cynthia, kung hindi ka pa titigil, baka mawalan pa ako ng pasensya." She put her hands on her hips. "Gusto ko sana magpahinga, pero ikaw, kung anu-ano ang pinagsasabi."
I blinked at her, feeling my chest tighten. She was mad. And it was all my fault for bothering her. "I'm sorry," I mumbled, looking down at the floor, my voice soft.
She crossed her arms. "Minsan talaga, ang hirap mong intindihin, Cynthia. Kung hindi ka maghahanap ng ibang bagay na pwedeng gawin, baka mas maganda kung mag-isa ka na lang muna."
My eyes started to burn, and I hated it. I hated feeling this way. Why couldn't she just be nice to me? Why couldn't she just play with me or say something to make me feel better? Instead, it was like she was punishing me for wanting to spend time with my family.
I turned away from her and walked back to the living room, sitting on the couch again, hugging my knees to my chest. My throat felt tight, and I tried so hard not to cry. I didn't want to let her see me upset.
I just wanted my parents to come back.
I stared at the clock again. I had been waiting for hours. It was like the minutes were mocking me. I could hear Tita Anna moving around in the kitchen, but she wasn't coming over to check on me or say anything else. It felt so... lonely.
The house felt even emptier without Mama and Papa. The sounds of the birds outside felt distant, the breeze didn't feel as cool, and the mango tree outside looked like it was just a giant shadow against the sun.
Tita Anna didn't care, and I didn't know what to do anymore.
I just kept wishing, hoping, praying that they'd come home soon. But what if they didn't?
What if they stayed away too long?
What if this day stayed like this forever, just me and her, with nothing to talk about but how much she hated me being here?
I wiped my eyes quickly, hoping Tita Anna didn't see.
After a few minutes, while I was sitting quietly on the couch hugging my teddy bear, I suddenly heard the telephone ring loudly.
Riiing! Riiing!
I jumped up right away, my heart beating super fast. Maybe it was Mommy! Maybe she was calling to say she missed me already!
I ran as fast as my little feet could carry me to the telephone sitting on the table. I stood on my tiptoes, grabbed the heavy receiver with both hands, and pressed it against my ear.
"Mommyyy!!" I shouted excitedly into the phone.
But instead of hearing Mommy’s sweet voice, I heard a man’s voice—one I didn’t recognize at all.
"Hello? Mommy? Where’s Mommy?" I asked quickly, my voice getting smaller. My tummy felt a little funny now.
"Uh, hello, kid," the man said. His voice was kind but serious. "May kasama ka bang nakakatanda d'yan? Can you give the phone to them?"
I blinked. He wasn’t Mommy! I frowned a little, feeling confused and a little nervous.
I pulled the phone away from my ear and shouted as loud as I could, "Titaaaaa!!"
From the kitchen, I heard Tita’s voice, sharp and a little annoyed. "Ano na nanaman 'yan, Cynthia?!?"
I bounced on my toes. "Tita! Someone is calling po and they are looking for you!" I called back, still holding the phone tightly with both hands.
In just a few seconds, Tita came rushing toward me, wiping her hands on her apron. Her eyebrows were raised high, and she looked half worried, half annoyed.
I watched as Tita Anna took the phone from my hands, looking at me with an annoyed face. "Ano ba 'to, puro storbo, jusko!" she grumbled, clearly frustrated. But when she put the phone to her ear, something changed. Her face went still, and her body stiffened like she had frozen in place.
I stood there, my heart pounding. What was going on? Was it Mama and Papa calling? I couldn't understand what was happening. I could hear the voice on the other side of the phone, but it didn't sound like anything I'd ever heard before. It sounded... serious.
Tita Anna didn't say anything for a while. Then, I saw her eyes widen. She gasped softly, and the phone almost slipped from her hand.
"Anong... anong nangyari? Bakit?" she whispered, her voice shaking. She was still holding the phone, but her fingers looked like they were trembling.
I wanted to ask her what was going on, but my voice got stuck in my throat. I could feel the knot in my stomach tightening. Something wasn't right. This wasn't a normal call.
"Tita?" I said quietly, tugging on the sleeve of her shirt. "Is it Mama and Papa? Why... why are you looking like that?"
She didn't answer right away. Instead, she just stared at the phone, her face pale. Then, in a small voice, she said, "Cynthia... your parents... your cousins... your Lolo..." She paused, her voice breaking. "They... they were on the plane. The plane... it crashed. They're... they're gone."
"What po? What do you mean they are gone po? Where did they go, Tita?" I was clueless.
The words didn't make sense to me at first. I stared at Tita Anna, my mind not understanding, my heart pounding in my chest. My ears felt like they were ringing, and the world seemed to blur around me. I heard her voice, but it felt like I was underwater, trying to catch her words, but they were slipping away.
"W-what do you mean?" I asked, my voice trembling, my lips numb. "Where did they go, Tita? Why did they... why did they leave?"
Tita Anna didn't answer right away. She just stood there, the phone still pressed to her ear, her face so pale that it looked like all the color had drained out of her. I tugged at her sleeve again, feeling desperate, like if I just shook her, she would say something that would make it all go away, something that would make sense of this.
She didn't move.
"Tita," I whispered, my voice barely a breath. I couldn't stop the tears that started to fall. "Tita, I don't understand."
Finally, she lowered the phone, her hands shaking. She glanced at me, and for a moment, I saw something in her eyes-a mixture of fear, guilt, and sorrow. But it wasn't the kind of sorrow I knew. It was something darker, something much deeper.
"Cynthia..." she started, her voice trembling, as if she didn't know how to say the next words. "Kung hindi mo lang kasi pina-celebrate yung birthday mo dito sa probinsya, hindi sana sila umalis. Kung sana naging masaya ka lang sa kung anong meron, baka hindi sila..." Her voice broke, but the anger stayed, hidden underneath her grief. "Baka hindi sila nagmadali na umuwi. Hindi sana nangyari ito."
I froze. The world seemed to spin, and my chest felt heavy. "What are you saying, Tita? What do you mean it's my fault?"
Tita Anna's eyes were wide with pain, but her voice came out sharper now, like a child throwing a tantrum. "Bakit kasi dito pa? Dapat sa city ka na lang nag-celebrate! Kung dun sana, baka hindi nangyari ito! Kung sumunod ka lang, baka hindi pa sila umalis nang ganun kabilis. Kung sana naging okay ka lang sa plano ko, hindi sana sila nagmamadali, Cynthia!"
I shook my head, the shock coursing through me, my legs feeling weak beneath me. "No, Tita, no... I didn't mean for this to happen. I just wanted to be with them... I just wanted to celebrate here. I'm sorry."
Tita Anna's face was tight with frustration, her eyes narrowed like I was the one who'd caused this, the one who'd made everything fall apart. "Kasi ikaw lang, Cynthia. Kung hindi ka pa tumanggi, hindi sana sila nagmadali. Hindi mo ba nakikita? Kung sumunod ka, baka... baka hindi pa ito nangyari."
My chest tightened as I fought for air, the words spinning around in my head, like a broken record that wouldn't stop. "No, Tita. No. I'm sorry. Tita, I'm sorry. Can you bring them back? I promise not to be annoying. Tita, I'm sorry. Please."
But Tita Anna didn't stop. She just kept going, her words cutting deeper, like she was blaming me for everything.
I could feel the weight of her words suffocating me, and the tears just kept coming. "I didn't want this," I sobbed, my voice barely a whisper. "I never wanted any of this."
Tita Anna just stood there, staring at me with hard eyes, and all I could do was cry.
"Tita, I'm sorry. I will never be stubborn again, Tita. Please bring them back. I miss them. Tita..." I said, my voice cracking as tears streamed down my face.
I could hardly catch my breath as I sobbed, my small shoulders shaking with each cry. The weight of everything-being left behind, not knowing where Mommy and Papa were-felt like it was pressing down on me. I just wanted them to come back, to hug me again, to tell me everything would be okay.
Tita Anna didn't say anything right away. Her face was cold and hard as she stood there, listening to me. After a long, painful silence, she finally spoke, her voice sharp, almost cutting through the air like a blade.
"Magdusa ka. Laging itatak mo sa kukote mo na kasalanan mo lahat ng 'to! Kaya sila na aksidente dahil sa'yo! Kung hindi ka lang sana nagmatigas, hindi sila nagmamadali umuwi. Kasalanan mo lahat ng 'to!" she snapped at me, her words making my heart hurt even more.
The anger in her voice stung, but it was nothing compared to the ache inside me. I didn't understand why she was so angry at me. I didn't mean to be bad. I didn't mean to cause any trouble. I just wanted everything to go back to how it was before.
"I'm sorry... I'm sorry..." I whispered over and over again, the words echoing in my head like a broken record.
I couldn't stop thinking about it, couldn't stop repeating it in my mind. I felt like I had made a huge mistake, but I didn't know what the mistake was. All I knew was that the people I loved the most were gone, and it felt like it was my fault.
I wiped my eyes, but the tears wouldn't stop falling. The guilt and confusion were too much for me to handle. I had to get away. I needed to breathe. I needed to feel like myself again.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
This words keep repeating to my head.
Without thinking, I ran.
My small feet pounded against the ground as I sprinted away from the house, away from the place where everything felt wrong.
I didn't know where I was going, but my legs carried me anyway, and I ran and ran until my breath became shallow and my legs felt like they would give out from under me. The cold wind whipped against my face, but I didn't care.
I just wanted to be far, far away from the sadness, the shouting, and the confusion.
I didn't stop until I reached the place where my Lolo and I always sat together, watching the sunset. It was our special spot, a place where we would sit in silence, feeling the warmth of the sun on our faces, listening to the soft rustling of the trees around us. The memory of those moments felt distant now, like a dream that was slowly fading away.
I sat on the ground, hugging my knees tight, my little fingers digging into the fabric of my dress.
The dirt was cold, and I didn't like it. It made me feel alone, like everything around me was too far away. The trees didn't seem as close as they usually did, and the sky didn't look as blue. I wanted to cry but didn't want anyone to hear me, so I just stayed still, staring at the ground.
I didn't understand why everything felt so quiet.
"Papa," I whispered, but my voice felt so small and fragile, like it wasn't even real. "Papa, you said we're still playing, right? We're still playing, aren't we?"
But there was no answer.
The silence wrapped around me, cold and heavy.
I wanted to hear his laugh, to feel his strong arms pick me up and swing me around like he always did.
I wanted him to say, "Don't worry, I'm here." But all I had was the quiet.
It was too much.
I didn't want to be alone. I wanted Papa to come back.
I squeezed my eyes shut, hoping the silence would go away. "Ate, Marga," I whispered again, my voice shaking. "Ate, let's play again. We can play the game where you chase me, okay?"
But the wind was the only reply, rustling the leaves in the trees above me. Ate wasn't there. She used to chase me until I couldn't run anymore, always laughing, always telling me to go faster. Now... it was just me, alone in the garden.
I wrapped my arms around my knees, hugging them tight, as if that could make the emptiness go away. "Kuya," I said, my voice more desperate now. "Kuya, let's play again. Please." I could almost hear his voice, his teasing, playful tone as he ran after me, shouting, "I'll catch you!"
But it was just me. No one was there to play. No one was there to laugh with me. I bit my lip to stop myself from crying, but the tears were already starting to fall.
"Lolo," I said, my heart aching.
"Lolo, tell me a story, like you always do." But there was no sound.
No stories about the old days.
No laughter from the porch.
The chair where he always sat was empty.
The garden, once so full of life, now felt like a graveyard of memories.
"Lolo, please, come back." But the words just hung in the air, unanswered.
I looked around again, hoping someone would be there, hoping that maybe they'd all come back. "Mommy," I whispered quietly, almost afraid to say it out loud. "Mommy, where are you? You said we were going to eat ice cream later..." But she wasn't there.
The kitchen was silent.
The smell of her cooking, the warmth of her presence-it was all gone.
"Mommy..." I said again, but it felt like the word was swallowed by the empty space.
The house didn't feel like home without her. It didn't feel like anything at all.
I wiped my eyes, trying to calm myself down, but the words kept slipping out.
"Where is everybody?" I whispered to myself, as if they would hear me, as if they would come back just because I was asking.
I didn't want to be alone. I didn't want to feel like this, like there was nobody left in the world.
"Ate, come back," I said, my voice so small it was almost a breath. "Ate, please." I wanted to feel her pick me up again, to make everything feel okay like she always did. But she wasn't coming. She wasn't there. The quiet seemed to get louder, swallowing every hope I had.
I hugged my knees tighter, rocking back and forth.
"Tita, Rosalie" I called out, though I knew she wouldn't hear me. "Tita, are you there? Where are you? Please, come back." I missed the sound of her voice, her silly stories, the way she'd make me laugh until my stomach hurt.
But now.
.
.
there was nothing.
Nothing but the wind and the trees, whispering secrets I couldn't understand.
I squeezed my eyes shut again, hoping it would all go away. "Papa, please," I said, this time louder. "We're still playing, right? Come back. Please come back." But the silence was deafening. "Ate, Kuya, Lolo, Mommy, Tita-please, don't leave me alone."
My heart felt heavy, like it was breaking into a million pieces. I didn't want to feel this way. I didn't want to be sad. I just wanted everyone back. I wanted to hear their voices, feel their arms around me, and forget about the empty house, the empty garden, and the empty me.
I squeezed my eyes shut, hoping that when I opened them, everything would be different.
That they'd all come rushing back, laughing and calling my name like they always used to. But when I opened my eyes, nothing had changed. It was still just me, sitting in the dirt, with only the wind and the trees for company.
"Papa," I whispered again, my voice shaking with desperation. "Papa, where are you? We're still playing. We were still playing." But no one answered. No one came. It was just me, in the quiet garden, waiting for something-anything-to change. But nothing did.
"Kuya," I whispered again, my voice breaking. "Ate, Tita Rosalie... where are you? I need you." But there was no response, no sound, just the wind and the shadows growing longer as the day faded into night.
"Mommy... Papa..." I whispered, feeling the emptiness surround me.
"It's my birthday today. Remember? You promised we'd celebrate together. You promised cake and spaghetti. Lolo said he'd sing me the silly birthday song. I've been waiting all day. I wore the dress Mommy picked out for me, the one with the little blue flowers. I even tried to fix my hair like you do, Mommy, but it kept falling apart. I really tried my best.
Please come home. It's getting dark, and I'm scared. I keep waiting by the door, but it doesn't open. You promised we'd be happy today, that we'd blow out the candles together. Please come back. Please don't leave me here all alone on my birthday."
I closed my eyes again, pressing my hands to my face, my tiny body trembling with sobs. I didn't understand. Why weren't they here? What did I do wrong? I promised I'd be good. I promised I wouldn't cry. I promised I'd be patient, that I'd wait. But now... I was alone.
"Please... come home," I whispered one last time, my voice barely a breath, lost in the wind.
"It's my birthday. Please. . . I'll be waiting."