17. Lucy
As I woke up,I was met with the memory of Sawyer’s subtle touches. They sent a shiver down my spine all over again as my eyes adjusted to the sunlight.
He knew I was only here for the summer, I knew I was only here for the summer, and there he was asking to kiss me. And there I was saying yes to a kiss faster than I ever had to anyone before. I don’t think I ever wanted to be kissed so badly as I did at that moment. And by Sawyer Banks.
I swiped my phone from my side table and pulled up the phone keypad. When I reached out to Kai, I may have added Sawyer’s number that he left on the back of the business card into my contacts. You know, just in case.
Me
I had a nice time with you yesterday. x.o., Lucy
I wiped the sleep from my eyes and sat up straight against the headboard. It was barely six in the morning, there was no way I would expect a response back so quickly, but sure enough, text bubbles popped up almost instantly.
Sawyer
Meet me in fifteen? I want to see you.
Me
Not at all cryptic. But I’m intrigued… I’m in. Where?
Sawyer
See you soon!
Those damn butterflies—they were more like a swarm of wasps—were getting harder and harder to flush out of my system, and avoiding getting stung was getting harder and harder to do. I was immobilized with infatuation. Rushing to his beck and call with stars in my eyes was not going to help my case, either.
But fuck, those eyes. They visited me in my sleep last night. The dark, gold halo surrounding the pool of amber-green stared back at me more times than I could count. I know that his eyes are ingrained into my brain forever.
I could handle going back to Arizona with a couple of weeks in great company under my belt, it didn’t mean I was going to have a boyfriend in tow. And I definitely wasn’t going to return with a broken heart. The way I see it is that a little party never killed anybody.
I roll out of bed, throwing every bit of energy I can muster up this early in the morning to make sure I don’t look like a literal sewer rat for this impromptu, not at all mysterious meeting I am about to have with a man I almost kissed.
I opted out of a short car drive and made my way through the backyard into the hillside. The early morning lake haze still lingered, it lifted about halfway up the trees. But maybe my wardrobe choice of wearing a crewneck wasn’t ideal because the incessant humidity of late June followed me through the woods.
“White sneaks on a dirt path? Brave.” Sawyer’s voice rang through my bones. Fifty feet away from the picnic table, he started to walk toward me holding our text thread up on his phone. “Anyway, clearly I wasn’t that cryptic. You found me with no problem at all.” Sawyer pulled me in for a warm hug as we reached each other. “Morning, Pretty Girl,” he whispered right above my ear, into my tangled-up mess of a bun.
I swallowed his words, looking down at my feet. “They’re my favorite,” I said with a crack in my voice. “Besides, I figured this is the only common stomping ground. When you wouldn’t give me any other information, I knew this was my safest bet.”
“Such a smart girl.”
He stalked his way up the steps and over to the side of The Hideout. The storage closet creaked at the hinges. Rustling through the inside, he pulled out a large, sharp axe. He slammed it down beside him, barely missing his feet when he locked up the door.
“Ready?”
“For what exactly?!”
His boots shuffled through the dirt and then walked off ahead of me. He looked back over his shoulder with a sly grin.
“I don’t like this one bit!” I cried out, frozen in my spot.
“Are you coming, or what?”
We had made it only a few hundred feet down the trail when he led us up an open slope. It was hard to keep up with his strides. But eventually, I caught up with him. My white slip-ons were no longer holding up.
Today’s outfit-1, Me-0.
At the very top of the hill, there were stacked stumps in which he sliced the blade of the axe into the top one.
“So—”
He cut me off, “Sit down,” he commanded, gesturing to the empty makeshift tree stump seat off to the side.
It was a longer log with dull, sunken spots like it was made to be used for intentional seating. A few straggled cigarette butts on the ground to the side confirmed just that.
Besides a watch out for that branch, trees blowing in the wind in passing and our footsteps were the only sounds exchanged between us. That, and the far back hoots of the owl that followed above us.
Sawyer rooted his stance and began lifting his shirt out from his waistband. With both hands crossed on either side of his torso, he pulled his shirt off in one fell swoop. The sheen of the morning sun bled through the trees and ricocheted off of his exposed chest.
He slanted his head down ever so slightly, giving me one of his infamous winks—the kind that stole my breath away and made my toes curl.
He picked up one of the tree stumps beside him and threw it to the ground, the muffled thump of wood hitting the dirt brings me out of the clouds and back down to earth. Wiggling the axe out of the log, he threw the rod over his shoulder before he slammed it back down.
Over and over, the thwacking sound would ring through my body, making me jump at every hit. With every strike, he let out a low grunt. His arm muscles twitched a millisecond before his back muscles did.
Watching him felt illegal. I knew I should turn away, but I was glued to him. Watching him was all I wanted to do.
“So,” I started again, this time with a jagged breath.
He struck the blade into an untouched, idling log and let it rest there. “Am I boring you, Pretty Girl?” he questioned.
Pretty Girl.
He needed to stop calling me that.
Maybe it’s a knee-jerk reaction, maybe that’s his thing. I had no clue. But he continued repeating it, and my heart continued to skip a beat.
I wiped away at the nonexistent dirt in my lap, “N-no. Actually I was going to say it’s been nice to see you like this.”
He raised a brow and huffed a breath out his nose.
“I don’t mean like this,” I waved my arms around frantically over his body. “Sure, this is nice, but what I mean is…” I shot up from my seat, attempting to gather my words, myself. “Oh, my god. What I mean is I like seeing you live in the moment. Yup, that’s what I am trying to say,” I managed to express.
“I could say the same about you.” Sawyer picked his bunched-up shirt off the ground and wiped away the sweat from his temple. “But please, you go first.”
“Have you ever seen Spongebob?”
“What does that have to do with anything?”
“Just answer the question,” I shot out.
He let out a chuckle, then nodded. “I would love to see where this is going. Yes, I have seen Spongebob.” A man of multitasking abilities, he grips the canvas straps of the log carrier rolled up in his back pocket and whips it open. He placed it on the ground and began loading them inside. But there was a sly grin plastered on his face, anticipating whatever foolishness I was about to spew out.
“When he’s so on edge, talking to himself and spaced out… you have given me those vibes whenever I’ve seen you.”
His mouth fell open, he tossed his head back. The loudest laugh I have ever heard escaped his mouth and he clutched the side of his stomach.
“I don’t even know what that even means.”
“It means that you seem so focused on your work, and how you present yourself. I like watching you enjoy yourself. It’s been nice,” I stammered out while fumbling with the charm on my necklace. “Also, did you know that when you’re concentrating on something, you furrow your brows but when they are stuck like that for a little too long, you wiggle them loose? I noticed it yesterday at The Hideout when you were rolling silverware for what felt like forever.”
“You like watching me, huh?” he moved in closer to me, grabbing the side of my waist.
“That’s what you got out of it?” I locked my eyes on him. Sawyer dropped the tote, the collection of wood made a single thump sound. My skin jumped at the rippling vibration that traveled under us.
He wiped away at the dirt debris on the side of his neck, elongating his throat as he dragged his hand downwards. He brushed his hand on the side of his jeans before running his fingers through his hair, evening out the misplaced strands.
“No, of course, not,” he finally said. “But you haven’t been so carefree yourself, ya know.”
My heart rate returned to skyrocketing numbers. I wasn’t sure if it was from his close proximity or my not wanting to know his answer. Easily, it was both.
He continued, “I know it’s a lot to sell a house, trust me. I was in my early twenties when I sold my condo. It was a pain in the ass, and I didn’t even have that much of an emotional connection to it. That’s beside the point, I promise I am not trying to flex.”
“Could have fooled me,” I said with a head tilt.
“I promise. What I’m saying is, I haven’t seen, what I believe to be, a genuine smile on that,” he gulped before continuing, “perfect face of yours since you got here.”
I needed to stop looking into his eyes immediately. Or who knows what would happen… I brought my attention up to the top of his head. There, I saw a small stem sticking out at his hairline.
“You, uh,” I said with a crack in my words. I reached up to pluck it from his hair and I could feel him watching me, though I kept my sights locked on the leaf. Don’t make eye contact with him.
He grabbed my wrist in a tight hold as my hand moved back down. I gasped, and a broken whimper escaped my mouth. It was almost embarrassing. He twisted the crumpled-up leaf out from between my fingers, his fingertips grazing over mine.
The slightest touch of his felt like—I can’t even categorize it. Sawyer’s touch felt electrifying.
He dragged his thumb over my cheek, bringing it down my face. He tilted my chin up before stopping. He looked at me. He looked at me in a way only he ever has—like he is seeing me for me. His exhausted smolder lightened and his eyes relaxed. Sawyer looked relaxed in every sense.
He tugged my face towards him. Firmly, possessively.
“About that kiss?”
Our lips were in sync when they parted, welcoming one another as if they had a mind of their own. The sense of relief that my body released, it was like it was waiting for this moment long before my heart knew that’s what it wanted, what it craved.
Our kiss felt like coming home at the end of a long day, sitting on the front porch in the summer heat with an iced tea in hand. Necessary and refreshing.
There wasn’t a lot that made sense in this god-forsaken world that we live in. I didn’t have many answers to many things in life and normally that’d kill me. Meeting Sawyer was never supposed to happen. Enjoying my time with Sawyer was never supposed to happen. I didn’t have an answer for what’s to come next between the two of us. All I knew was my lips were made for his.
Kissing Sawyer made sense.
My heels raised off the ground—I was defenseless. Completely, undeniably helpless. My body fused with his as our kiss grew stronger. His grip around my waist held me up, and for once, I did not have to stand on my own two feet alone. On my tallest of tiptoes, with my arms wrapped around Sawyer’s neck, I never once removed my mouth from his.
I slid my hand along his jaw, his stubble scratched the palm of my hand. I couldn’t help but let out a soft cry when he tugged at my bottom lip between his teeth. One that he could hear, but nothing that would scare him away. And thankfully, it didn’t. It only enticed him to tighten his grip around me while moving his other hand through the back of my hair.
He broke his mouth off of mine and spoke into my neck, “I actually,” his chest heaved hard against mine. “I want you to spend the weekend with me.”
“What?” I said with a shaky voice.
“Oh, no, not in the way that you think,” he pulled away from my body. “Okay, let me be more clear. There’s something about you Lucy. I can’t quite figure out what, though. But I feel lighter around you.”
My mouth slightly dropped open, but nothing came out. What was I supposed to say? A kiss, that was all this was supposed to be. Wasn’t it?
I thought there’d be a few “here and there” hangouts, the promise to not shut him down if we run into each other at The Hideout… But he’s talking about definite plans. Definite plans. That’s a whole other ball game.
“I know you’re busy, I know you have a lot going on, but—” He ran his fingers through his hair.
“It’s not just that!” I cried out. “You know that I’m leaving, you know that I’m not staying. You do know that, right?”
He had to know that, I wouldn’t shut up about it.
“Yes, I am well aware of that.”
“You can’t get attached to me, to this,” I motioned my finger between the two of us.
“I’m a big boy, Lucy.”
I promised myself I’d make the most of the next couple of months here, but this would be taking it to a new level. I couldn’t deny the pull that I feel towards Sawyer. He’s everywhere I turned, I couldn’t ignore him if I tried. It’s pathetic.
But there’s a huge difference between kissing a person I knew surface level information about, and spending a weekend with someone that I could potentially fall for. I couldn’t fall for surface level. But letting someone in, someone that I think has the power to make me fall hard… It’s a risk. One that I don’t know if it’s worth the fallout.
“Spend the weekend with me,” he repeated himself, this time with a softness in his voice. “I want to get to know you. Seriously, it will be the best forty-eight hours of our lives. Dinner date one day, a day date the next… I already have it all planned out. We will make the most of it,” he said, closing the space between us more and more. “Just you,” the tip of his finger lightly tapped right beneath my collarbone, “and me,” he continued, pointing back to himself. “All you have to do is say that you will, say yes.”
The moment the words left his lips, a bouquet of hummingbirds swam in the air around us. There was something about how still their body remained while their wings flapped vigorously keeping them afloat.
I twisted my necklace between my fingers as I watched them fly by. A thin gold chain with a quaint charm of a hummingbird sat at the center. I bought it as a Christmas gift to myself, the first one I spent alone, it acted as a reminder that home was always with me.
The last time I saw a flock this large, so intense, was when I was a young girl walking along this very trail with Tiffany and my mother. It was when life felt simple and normal. Maybe it was because I was five and life hadn’t turned so complicated yet.
I ran up ahead of the two of them, following a single hummingbird. I skipped over and veered around every obstacle on the trail. I was going to catch up to the hummingbird. Once I finally did, I was met with a whole collection of them glistening under the early morning sun.
Hummingbirds will forever be associated with my adolescent years. They reminded me that love and hope will always be present if I allow it to be. I was surprised any of them were out this late in the season. Taking this as a sign is the only way I could go about this.
I dropped my necklace, letting it fall flat against my collarbones. I diverted my attention back to Sawyer as the hummingbirds continued down their path.
Meeting Sawyer had to be a sign. I just couldn’t figure out what the universe was trying to tell me by putting him in my path.