Chapter 39
Chapter Thirty-Nine
SINCLAIR
A ugust hustles me out of the restaurant at breakneck speed and we hurry down the sidewalk together toward his apartment building, neither of us speaking. It’s cold outside and I can see my breath every time I part my lips. Late October and the weather has already turned.
Not that I care about the weather. Though I suppose I’m thinking about it or else my thoughts stray to what we’re about to do, August and me. Have sex. Intercourse. For the first time ever. That I’ve taken my bully as my lover is still mind-blowing. I can only imagine what fourteen-year-old Sinclair would say to me.
She’d tell me I’ve lost my marbles. I probably have. But the connection August and I share is so strong and feels so right. It’s hard to explain or describe. It’s just there, always brewing between us. Growing and growing throughout the evening at the restaurant until I saw the flicker of impatience in his eyes. He was over what he’d probably call a play date. He’s ready to get to the good stuff and while I’m eager, I’m also incredibly nervous.
What if it hurts? What if he can’t even get inside me? I had a friend in high school who had that problem. She’d freeze up so badly every time her boyfriend tried to enter her, he literally couldn’t push his way inside of her. She was clamped up so tightly, he’d try and try, but it was like trying to bust down a steel door. They couldn’t make it work because sex was basically impossible and eventually, he broke up with her.
What a jerk. So insensitive. And that worries me because August is the least sensitive person I know. Will he end things with me if the sex is bad? So far, our experiences together haven’t been bad at all, at least to me. But what do I know? I don’t have a lot of experience when it comes to this sort of thing. He hasn’t left yet. He actually says he’s obsessed with me and that’s…well I don’t know how to feel about it.
I love it, but is he being real with me? Maybe he’s just obsessed with what he can’t have. Tonight, he’s going to get it and he might leave me after. If he does, what an asshole.
Ugh, that part is scary because we all know August is an asshole. I’m the one who’s putting everything on the line for this guy. To get dumped by him will break me. I’m in too deep. No matter how much I tried to warn myself, here I am. Completely into him. On my way to falling for him.
I’m hopeless.
The moment we enter the lobby of his building, he grabs my hand and heads for the elevator. The doors slide open as soon as he hits the up button and he drags me inside, turning toward me when the doors slide closed with a soft swoosh.
He’s on me in an instant, his hands cupping my cheeks and his mouth finding mine in a hungry kiss. I respond in kind, parting for his probing tongue, winding mine around his. He pushes me against the elevator wall, his body flush with mine and I can feel him. Hard and thick and insistent.
The elevator comes to a stop and the doors slide open. He’s off me just as quickly, smoothing his hair away from his forehead as he strolls out of the elevator. I follow after him on wobbly feet, overcome with a thousand emotions his mouth and hands seem to elicit within me every time we collide. Why was I nervous about this moment again? The second he places his hands on my body all rational thought leaves me. And currently, I’m thinking too much. Thinking too hard.
It's pointless. I need to just go with the flow. Nature will take its proper course and I am, after all, in good hands.
Spectacular hands, truly.
He reaches the door as I’m still walking down the corridor and he opens it, his impatience radiating toward me. I make my way to him, walking past where he stands and entering the apartment with my head held high and he lets the door shut behind him, his hands landing on my waist, keeping me still in the foyer.
I’m trembling when I feel his mouth brush the side of my neck, goosebumps erupting all over my skin. His hands slide forward, settling on my stomach, and I rest my hands over his, closing my eyes and tilting my head back to give him better access.
“Do you know how beautiful you are?” he murmurs against my skin.
No, I want to tell him. I have no clue. I always thought I was average. Many years ago, I thought I was hideous, thanks to him. And I sort of was at fourteen. That he thinks I’m beautiful now feels like some sort of redemption for what I had to suffer through all those years ago.
“All I could think about through dinner was this.” His hands shift, settling on the waistband of the jeans he bought for me. He undoes the button and tugs the zipper down impatiently, his hand slipping inside. Cupping me with his large, hot hand. “I’m fucking obsessed with your cunt.”
His words make me wet and I whimper when he pushes his fingers against my pussy. I can’t speak but what would I say anyway? Gee, thanks for being obsessed with my vagina? That sounds silly.
“I told myself I would be patient and take it slow but I can’t.” His fingers shift to slip inside my panties, brushing against my bare, damp flesh, and he groans close to my ear, the low, rough sound doing something to me. Giving me power.
I make him feel that way. Respond that way. I could have August Lancaster on his knees for me and that is astonishing to realize. That he wants me.
That he cares. This man cares about hardly anyone.
We remain in the foyer, our harsh breaths filling the space, his fingers slicking through my pussy noisily. “You’re so wet. Drenched for me.”
I may have power over him, but he has just as much power over me. His words, the way he touches me makes me weak and I lock my knees so I don’t melt into the floor. When he removes his hand from my panties, I almost want to cry, I miss his touch so badly. He reaches for me, and I go willingly, a surprised gasp leaving me when he hauls me into his arms and carries me to his bedroom.
He says nothing and neither do I. Words are unnecessary when this incessant need throbs between us, overwhelming us both. I wrap my arms around his neck and bury my face against his throat, clinging to him. Breathing deep his spicy scent, it floods my senses, making me dizzy. I shriek like a scared little girl when he disentangles me from him and I fall onto the mattress with a bounce.
Pushing my hair out of my face, I look up to find he’s watching me with those intense blue eyes while taking off his clothes. He sheds his sweater and the T-shirt he was wearing underneath it, exposing his glorious chest. I eat him up with my gaze, my core clenching when he reaches for the fly of his jeans and undoes it, shedding them and his boxer briefs in seconds. Until he’s standing in front of me completely naked and beautiful.
My gaze drops to his dick and I lick my lips like the greedy girl I am, though a tinge of fear streaks through me. He’s…big. At least, he looks big to me. Maybe he’s average-sized, I don’t know but I’m nervous all over again now that I see him naked.
“You look terrified.”
I meet his gaze, swallowing hard. “You’re…”
“I’ll fit.” He grips the base of his cock and gives it a short stroke. A pearly drop of pre-cum appears at the tip and I remember what he tasted like. How pleased he was with me after I gave him my first blow job ever. “Don’t be scared, Sin. I’m going to make it good for you.”
He’s on the bed with me, stretching his long frame out beside me, his mouth finding mine in a carnal kiss. Our tongues tangle, our teeth clash, and I scoot closer to him, wanting more. Needing more. His hands rove all over me, slipping beneath my sweater, easily finding my breast. He didn’t buy me a bra when he purchased my clothes this morning and I’m sure he did that on purpose.
Well, I’m not complaining now because he has easy access. His fingers stroke and knead, his thumb circling around one nipple, then the other. Back and forth, teasing me, working me into a frenzy that leaves me breathless. And when he takes off my sweater and ducks his head to draw a nipple into his mouth, I buck against him, the strong pull of his lips tugging on something deep inside me, drawing me deeper into mindless pleasure.
He runs his mouth all over my chest. Licking and sucking and biting my skin like he can’t get enough of me. I thrust my fingers into his hair and hold him to me, always afraid he might end all of this and send me on my way. I can hardly bear the thought of him calling it off between us, it destroys me so badly.
August destroys me. Slowly but surely with his mouth and tongue and fingers. His hot words whispered into my skin, that blazing intensity in his eyes. When he lifts his head to stare at me, I stare back, helpless. I can hardly breathe thanks to the way he’s watching me. Like he’s trying to figure out how exactly he got here with me. In his bed.
Is he as shaken with the intensity that simmers between us as I am? I’m on edge, on the verge of orgasm already and we’ve only just begun.
But it feels like we’ve been working toward this moment since the day we encountered each other all these years later. When I was so angry and he was intrigued. My anger and ambivalence drew him to me and that was the last thing I wanted.
Or so I thought.
He removes my jeans and panties until I’m as naked as he is, and when his fingers dip between my thighs and begin to stroke, I let my legs fall open. My breaths come faster when he increases his pace, matching his movements and when he pinches my clit between two fingers and tugs? I sink my teeth into my bottom lip to keep from crying out.
“Not going to let you come yet,” he murmurs, pressing slow circles against my clit with his thumb. “You like that, Sin?”
I nod furiously, lost to the sensation that races through me. The circles become tighter and tighter, faster and faster, and a wave slips over me, pulling me under. Straight toward bliss.
August removes his thumb from my clit and I want to sob. My entire body is strung tight; I was so focused on that one spot where so much pleasure radiated outward. I open my eyes to find him kneeling on the mattress between my spread legs, his cock standing straight out from his body. His skin is covered with the lightest sheen of sweat and I realize I’m sweating too. It’s too much and not enough all at once and I drape my arm over my eyes, unable to look at him for too long.
He hovers above me in an instant, carefully removing my arm from my face and when I spot the gentle glow in his eyes, some of the tension leaves my body as I sink into the mattress.
“You want me to eat that pretty little pussy of yours?” His fingers slide up my thigh, drifting across the top of my pussy.
I nod, arching my hips. Seeking his touch.
“Say it.” He removes his hand like the sadist he is. “Beg for it, baby. You know I love it when you cry.”
This fucker. I’m immediately incensed, hating how my stomach tightens at his words. The fresh flood of wetness between my thighs. He knows just what to do and say to make me wetter. Hotter.
“Please, August.” I lift my hips again, spreading my legs as wide as they can go. “I need you.”
“How bad, hmm? Tell me what you want me to do to you, Sin.” He shifts so he’s lying on his stomach, coming face to pussy, and I wonder if it hurts his dick, to lie there like that.
“I want you to—lick me.” He does exactly that, making me hiss in a breath. “I want you to suck my clit.” He does that too, wrapping his lips around the distended bundle of nerves and sucking hard. “Fuck me with your fingers.”
He slides one finger inside me and begins to pump. In and out, his pace slows, curling his finger when he slides it deep and hitting something within that has me seeing stars. He adds another finger and increases his pace, fucking me with his fingers just like I asked while his mouth is still on my clit. His tongue lashes at my skin and I brace my feet onto the mattress, my seeking hips lifting as if they have a mind of their own.
Without warning the orgasm slams into me and I can’t breathe. I can’t see either. I’m lost to the sensation of wave after wave sweeping over my skin, rippling my belly and my core. My inner walls clench around his fingers, my clit throbbing and he continues his assault upon my flesh until I’m a gasping, trembling mess. I try to push him away, my skin too sensitive but he won’t stop. His lips are insistent, sucking on my clit while he continues to fuck me with his fingers and oh God, another orgasm rips through me. This one smaller but just as intense.
“Fuck, you’re drenched,” he mutters against my skin before he pulls away, wiping the back of his hand across his mouth. The lower half of his face shines with my juices and I watch helplessly as he reaches for the nightstand and opens the drawer, pulling out a condom. “Not taking any chances, Sin. You on birth control?”
I shake my head, feeling like a fool.
“That’s what I thought. You need to get on something.” He tears open the wrapper and discards it over his shoulder, rolling the condom on with intense concentration. “I want to fuck you raw.”
Oh God. I want him to fuck me raw too.
He positions himself so he’s between my legs again, his fingers curled around the base of his cock, his other hand braced on the mattress. His cheeks are red and his skin shines with sweat and I’ve never seen him more beautiful. This big, gorgeous man is about to push his away inside me and I’m fucking giddy at the thought. Ready for it.
Desperate for it. For him.