Chapter 43
Chapter Forty-Three
SINCLAIR
I ’m sitting on my bed in my dorm room alone, scrolling through social media, when there’s a loud, incessant pounding on my door, startling me so badly I drop my phone on the floor.
Bending over, I grab it, irritated when the pounding starts back up again. I’m trying to decompress after taking a huge test that I’ve been studying for the last two days straight and I really don’t need this hassle right now.
I stomp over to the door and throw it open, startled when I see it’s August turning to face me, an agonized expression on his beautiful face. He doesn’t say anything at first. Just stares at me for a beat before he looks beyond my shoulder. Like he thinks someone else is in the room with me.
Hmm.
I lean against the edge of the door, waiting for him to say or do something first. His gaze lands on my face once more, lingering for only a second before letting it roam all over me, lingering on all the parts he likes best. My skin warms in response .
“I’ve missed you” is the first thing he says and my heart flutters at the sincerity in his voice. This man means it.
“Hi. I’ve missed you too.” I tilt my head to the side, noting the way his fingers flex. How they grip into a fist over and over, as if he’s trying to gain some control over himself and failing miserably. “Everything okay?”
“No. No, it’s not okay.” He pushes past me and enters my dorm room without asking, turning to face me once I shut the door. “How can you act so—normal?”
I frown. “What do you mean?”
He doesn’t move. It’s like he doesn’t trust himself. “Being in your presence, all I can think about is…touching you.”
My stomach flutters again. So does the spot between my legs. “Then touch me, August.”
He doesn’t move. “You make it sound so simple.”
“Isn’t it?”
“I get my hands on you, and I don’t know what might happen.”
The promise in his deep voice lights up everything inside me and I lock my knees to keep my legs from shaking in anticipation. “I’m not scared.”
My words are like a dare because he charges toward me, his hands landing on my waist, gripping me tight. Without hesitation he tugs me into him, our bodies colliding and I glance up to find his head descending, his mouth landing on mine in the sweetest, most delicious kiss I’ve ever experienced.
“God, I’ve missed you,” he repeats, murmuring against my lips, his tongue darting out for a lick. “So fucking much.”
“It’s only been two days,” I remind him, distracted by the path his hands are taking up my sides. The assured stroke of his tongue.
“Two days too long.” He delivers a tongue-filled kiss, making me groan. Making me whimper. When it’s finally over, I stare at his face in a daze, overcome. “Tell me you missed me. ”
“I already did.” Rising up on tiptoes, I brush my lips against his, pulling away before he can kiss me senseless. “I missed you, August.”
The relief in his eyes is a little shocking. Was he that worried?
“How did your test go?”
I appreciate him asking. “I did all right.”
“I’m sure you did great.” He glances around the room, his gaze immediately returning to mine. “Where’s your roommate?”
“She’s in class.” And she won’t be back for a while. Tonight is when she goes to hot yoga.
His gaze shifts to my narrow bed, lingering there. “Should we get naked and cuddle?”
“I doubt any cuddling will be involved.” I laugh, but I can see from his expression that he’s deeply serious. “We don’t need to get naked.”
“We don’t?” He appears shocked.
“Not yet.” My smile is small and I reach out, hooking my finger around the belt loop of his jeans, pulling him even closer. “Come on.”
I let him go and turn away from him, tossing back the comforter before I climb into my tiny bed. August toes off his shoes before he joins me, his hands landing on my waist, readjusting me so I’m lying sprawled across his big, hot body. His hands settle on my ass, tugging me even closer to him and I can tell he already has an erection.
“This bed is fucking ridiculous,” he declares as he tries to get more comfortable, jostling me as I lie on top of him.
“I can’t help it that you’re a giant.”
His brows lift and I swear he looks pleased at my description. “You think I’m a giant?”
I ignore his question. “How tall are you anyway?”
“Six-two. Not that tall.” He shrugs one broad shoulder .
“You’re tall.” I scoot up so I can press my face against his neck and I breathe deep, inhaling his spicy cologne. “And you smell good.”
“What does that have to do with me hating your bed?” He removes one of his hands from my butt, tangling his fingers in my hair. “You sure you don’t want to get naked?”
“Only when you answer a few questions.” I pull back from his neck, noting the deep frown on his face. His brows are drawn together and that scowl would intimidate just about anyone. Save for me. “What are you doing here?”
“I told you. I missed you.”
“You could’ve texted me first.”
“Maybe I wanted to surprise you.”
“You don’t seem like the impulsive type.” He’s methodical. He likes to plan things and make sure everything is executed properly. Just the way he wants it.
“When it comes to you, all normalcy leaves me. I’ve become a different person.” His expression tells me he finds that…confusing.
Poor August. His life goes a little sideways thanks to me and he doesn’t know what to do about it. And while I would never admit this out loud, there’s something buried inside me that finds this reaction from him…
Satisfying. He made my life hell for months. He became my biggest enemy and what’s so wild is, he had no clue. I wasn’t memorable enough. That’s how callous he was. A part of him is still that way. Callous and rude and demanding. A complete and utter snob.
But from the look currently on his face and the way his hands wander all over my body like he can’t get enough of me—the man is obsessed. With me .
I’m giddy over it.
All of my earlier insecurities evaporate just like that. This man looks tortured over me and I love it. The feeling is mutual. I’ve been trying to focus on school because I needed to but he always infiltrated my thoughts, and I felt unsure. When would I see him again? Would he want to see me again?
Apparently, the answer is a resounding yes.
“You look baffled.” I pat his chest, my hand resting over his wildly beating heart and again—it’s downright thrilling that I’m the one who can make him feel that way. React so strongly. The poor, clueless man.
He catches my hand before I can remove it, pressing his palm over mine and keeping it pinned there. “You want honesty or do you want me to lie?”
“That’s a crazy question, August.” He knows I don’t like liars.
“Then I’ll give you honesty. I’ve never allowed a woman to bury herself so deeply inside me before. We haven’t known each other long so I know this is just…I’m going to sound like a lunatic when I make this confession.” He goes quiet, leaving me hanging, and when he still doesn’t say anything, I’m overcome with the need to push him.
“What are you trying to tell me?”
“My family firmly believes that once they find their someone, that’s it. It’s an all-consuming, overwhelming obsession that can never be stopped. My parents have it. Their love for each other has never waned, even after all of these years. My father became fixated on my mother when they were only fourteen, and I always thought that was—terrifying.”
From the look on his face, he’s telling the truth. There’s a glimmer in his gaze that I’ve never seen before.
“Big, momentous love scared me, especially when your entire family talks about finding the one and then that’s it. Your life is over. I didn’t want to be tied down at fourteen. That’s fucking ridiculous. I still don’t want to be tied down. I’m only twenty-two. I’ve barely started living my life and now you come along and I can’t think about anything else. Feel anything else. It’s just you. All the fucking time. Right here.” He taps the side of his forehead, the despair on his face apparent. “It’s been a struggle I’ve been dealing with ever since I first saw you at that party. You’ve consumed me, Sin. I think about you every second of the day. I worry about you, and I don’t worry about anyone. Not a single soul. Maybe my parents. I definitely worry about my parents because someday, they won’t be here anymore and I can’t even fathom it so…yeah.”
He goes silent again and I stare into his beautiful blue eyes, loving how vulnerable he’s being. How open and honest and incredibly raw. It doesn’t even bother me that he said he’s not ready to be tied down. I don’t want to be tied down either. But…
August Lancaster has consumed me too. Ever since I crossed his path all those years ago. I hated him. But I was also secretly…obsessed with him? Yes, I totally was. Maybe we had some sort of connection and neither of us even realized it. Could that be possible? He didn’t even know me or care about me back then. He forgot I even existed. Or at least that’s what he claims.
I should be offended I was that forgettable to him, but I can’t deny the connection between us. The chemistry. The power in knowing that this influential, wealthy man has fallen for me.
Me.
“I’ve done a lot of shit in my life that’s fucked up, and I never apologize for it. Saying sorry doesn’t come easy for me because I’m rarely sorry about anything. I do what I do and move on. Did I hurt your feelings? Sorry. Did I forget your name the second after I fucked you? Definitely.”
While I know he’s not talking about me, his words do hurt a little.
“I forgot all about you after making your life a living hell and, Sin, that fucking digs deep. It makes me feel like a terrible human. ”
“You are a terrible human,” I remind him.
He grimaces. “Having you in my life will be that constant reminder. That I treated you so terribly and dismissed you from my memory is just—heartless.”
I touch his cheek, letting my fingers drift across his stubble-covered skin and he leans into my palm, his eyes closing briefly. When he opens them, I see the sincerity glittering there and it takes my breath away.
“I’m sorry for how I treated you back then, and I know that what I did was unforgivable but, Sinclair, I’m begging you to forgive me.” His voice is rough and he clears his throat. “Please.”