Chapter 14 #2
“He knew. Trust me, he knew. Every day you showed that kid how much he was loved and cherished.” She pulled back and he tilted her face to meet his gaze. “How are you and your mom?”
“We haven’t spoken since that day.”
Jesus, he’d had no clue as to what had happened the day she’d disappeared out of his life for good.
“You should have come to the track. I would have been there for you in a heartbeat. Held you while your heart shattered.”
“I know.”
He was so damn confused, it was like his heart and his head had stopped speaking the same language. “Then why didn’t you come?”
“I did.” She wiped angrily at her tears and took a big emotional step back. “I went to the track to find you, but I found you and your sister talking.”
Jake racked his mind to remember what they’d talked about and couldn’t recall a single word. In fact, all he remembered about that day was that Georgia hadn’t shown like she’d promised. What could he have said for a heartbroken Georgia to walk away and deal with the grief on her own?
“You don’t even remember.” Her voice cracked with what sounded like a decade of emotions.
“A lot happened that day. You stopped talking to me.”
“Because I didn’t want to be a burden! I didn’t want me and my baggage to stand in the way of your career, which is what your sister said.”
Suddenly, it all came rushing back. Rachel getting on him for missing the day before a race to hang out with Georgia and Connor. He missed the team meeting to spend the night with Georgia in his arms.
“You need to be focused. We’ve come too far for you to get distracted now by some girl.”
“She isn’t a girl,” he’d said. “She’s my girl.”
“Do you want to throw away the opportunity to show Meemaw and Grandpa that all their sacrifices were worth it?”
That had been the punch to the gut. They’d given up their golden years to raise him and their retirement so he could chase what was a once-in-a-million dream. And he’d made it—they’d made it. And he didn’t want to let them down. So he’d agreed.
And she’d overheard.
He couldn’t imagine how that must have made her feel. She lost her brother, her mom, and her boyfriend all in the span of a few hours.
“You were right though,” she said. “We were so wrapped up in each other that we neglected what was important. My brother died because I was being selfish. I knew he wasn’t feeling well when I left for your house. But my mom said she could handle it.”
“Darlin’, you couldn’t have known,” he said quietly, offering her as much support as he could when her walls were erected so high.
“But I did. I always knew he could go at any time. That one infection could end his life. Then I came to find you and I realized that my life is too complicated for most people.”
“I’m not most people.”
“You lied to me about our relationship. About how I was distracting you from your dream.”
“I am sorry.” He took her hand in his. “I was a twenty-year-old asshole on top of the world. I was so busy pleasing my family and coach and trying to prove to my dad that I had what it takes. I let them influence my decisions and for that I am so sorry.” He shook his head. “Did you hate me?”
She laced their fingers. The moon was full, casting a silver glow through the trees and branches. A beam cut across his face, like a spotlight exposing the genuineness of his statement.
“I don’t hate you, Jake. I never did.”
A big whoosh of air stumbled out of his mouth, his chest deflating as if it had been overstuffed with emotion for the last decade.
“Did you hate me?” she asked quietly, not sure if she wanted the answer. But the words were already out, hanging in the air like an ornament on a Douglas fir.
“I tried to. I really did. And even though I thought you ghosted me because I had told you that I loved you, I still couldn’t find my way to hate. No matter how hard I tried.”
“You thought I left because you professed your love?”
“What else was I supposed to think? I said it and you didn’t say it back. Then the next morning all that was left was your scent on my pillow. And if I still wasn’t sure, when you blocked me on social media and your phone I had my answer.”
She realized how hard that must have been for him. “I am so sorry and if I could go back I would have done the respectful thing and given you a conversation. But then Connor was gone. My mom bailed. And I didn’t have time to process another loss.”
“It was just like my parents all over again. They rarely told me they loved me and when they did it was in front of people. When I was little, all I wanted was to be with them. But by the time I turned eight I realized that my home wasn’t with them. It was with my grandparents.”
“I imagine it still hurts.”
“Of course. Especially since it was so easy for them to keep Rachel. But with them I was able to reach that hate part of grieving. It helped me overcome the betrayal. But even now, when my dad shows up for a race, I find myself trying to impress the guy who left me behind.”
“That’s normal—to want the approval of a parent, no matter how much they’ve hurt us.”
“Is that how it is with your mom?”
“With my mom, I stopped wishing for her approval when she gave up on Connor. I figured that if she could turn her back on that incredible kid then her inability to provide healthy love was her problem. Not mine.” She took a beat. “Are your parents coming to Christmas?”
He snorted. “I haven’t spent a Christmas with them since I moved in with Nic and Joy. And even though I was hurt and confused, looking back, it was exactly what I needed.”
“We were young. Both of us dealing with incredibly stressful lives. We were bound to fizzle out at some point.”
“Do you really believe that?” Because he thought she was his soulmate and that they’d go the distance.
“No,” she replied in a quiet whisper. “I thought you were my person.”
He brought her knuckles to his lips. “What if I am?”
“What if you’re not? We didn’t work before, what makes now any different? You travel the world. You’re in a different country every week. My home is Austin.”
Semantics. Jake had faced the impossible before and won. In fact, with every race he faced them and was victorious.
“Aren’t you even curious to see if the universe put us together for more than just this conversation?”
“Maybe.” Her gaze dropped to his lips and the pulse at the base of her throat thumped erratically. He nipped at her knuckle and she lost her breath.
“Do you feel that?”
“What?”
“The way the air snaps and sizzles like the universe has been waiting for this for a decade.”
“It’s not just the universe waiting.”
She moved closer and if that wasn’t a green light to move onto the good stuff, then her wrapping her arms around his neck was.
“I’m going to kiss you now,” he whispered.
Jake and Georgia’s first kiss had been under a summer sky that smelled like honeysuckle and bad decisions. But this? This felt different. He hovered for a breath, close enough to taste the sweetness of her air, close enough to hear the thrum of his own pulse in his ears.
She didn’t look away, didn’t run. And when he finally closed the space, pressing his mouth to hers, it wasn’t nostalgia—it was ignition. All that history, all that wanting he’d buried deep, roared back like it had just been waiting for the chance.
Her lips moved against his, familiar and brand-new all at once, and he realized with bone-deep certainty that this wasn’t a repeat of the past. This was their second first kiss—and it was going to ruin him in the best way.