7
There’s no way your mother would ever let you keep it.”
“Which makes me really happy I live with my beautiful bride.” Theo flashed his dimpled grin.
Raquel rolled her eyes. She’d followed him outside, where there was indeed a dog sitting on their front porch.
Pale coat, squarish head, medium to large size.
The dog had glanced at them once. Mostly it kept its deep brown gaze focused on the woods out front.
Maybe on a squirrel, deer, fluttering leaf?
“I’m sure it belongs to someone around here,” she informed him.
“No collar. No tags.”
“We’re in the country. Pet ownership can be a bit more laissez-faire.”
“I don’t think leash laws are purely a city thing.”
Raquel rolled her eyes again. She’d grown up with plenty of stick-thin strays roaming the streets, pawing through trash, begging pitifully for scraps. Sometimes Theo’s concept of non-Boston life was genuinely exasperating.
Though this dog didn’t look that thin or pathetic. Some mud on its coat, debris stuck to the backs of its legs. But solidly built, appearing more sanguine than desperate. Now the dog yawned expansively, rose to standing, shook out its frame.
Theo patted its head in delight, as if the pup had executed some clever trick.
Raquel looked from her husband to the mutt, back to her husband again.
“Did you feed it?” She already feared the answer.
“Just provided some water,” Theo minimized. “As any good host would do.” He scratched the dog behind the ear. The dog panted happily. “Now who’s a good boy? A really, really good boy…Yes, yes you are.”
“You know it’s a male?” Raquel asked her husband as the stray in question leaned heavily against him.
“Absolutely. Total bro vibe. Can’t you feel it?”
“We need to call animal control.”
“What?” Genuine horror. “And have Junior carted off to some shelter? Never.”
“What are we going to do with some four-legged intruder?”
Theo rose to standing. “The next logical thing, of course. Breakfast!”
“No.”
“Yes!” That incredibly dangerous grin as Theo sidled closer, whispered in her ear, “I know you think he’s handsome.”
“I absolutely do not.”
“And I definitely know you think I’m sexy.”
Heavier sigh. “You never learned to play fair, did you?”
“Now what would be the fun in that?”
Which is how she ended up with a pale Lab-ish creature in her new home.
Breakfast for Raquel was generally Greek yogurt with some fresh berries.
Theo preferred egg whites and spinach. Whereas the dog enjoyed bites of leftover steak, delicately extracted from between Theo’s fingers.
Honest to God, between her husband’s cooing and the dog’s smacking, she would’ve been better off in another room.
“That mutt needs a bath,” she attempted as Theo all but went coochie-coochie-coo over his new charge. “And a vet, let alone deworming pills and God knows what else.”
Theo held out another piece of meat, fussing over the hound’s happy but respectfully restrained acceptance.
“Clearly Darby’s very well trained,” he said now.
“His name is Darby? I thought it was Junior.”
“We’re still fine-tuning.”
“We?”
“Don’t be rude. Every family member needs an identity.”
“Including one who most likely belongs to our neighbor?” she asked dryly.
“He does not. I already took the liberty of asking. You were still asleep.”
Raquel gaped at him. One, as an insomniac, she rarely slept through anything. But two, this revealed a great deal of concerted effort from her normally impulsive husband.
“I also contacted the local shelter,” Theo continued. “We can bring him down to be scanned for a chip, but for the record, no dogs matching his description have been declared missing.”
“He might’ve been recently dumped.”
“Possibly. Or he’s a dog named Dog.” Theo stared right at her.
“Seriously? Ghosts of crime scenes past, that’s what you’re gonna argue next?”
Single-shoulder shrug. “You heard the sheriff. The Dixon family pet—”
“Stray.”
“Was never seen again. What are the odds that within days of us moving in, its perfect twin appears on our front porch?”
“Don’t be absurd!”
“Don’t be so closed-minded.”
She wanted to snap at him. She truly did.
But that was the thing about Theo. He was so often impetuous and amiable that on the rare occasions when he chose to take a stand…
Theo was, in fact, a scarily brilliant man.
Probably one of the brightest people she’d ever met.
Which is why he was so comfortable playing the easygoing fool.
Being underestimated only made his inevitable victory that much easier to accomplish.
She’d watched him in action long enough to recognize the strategy. It still grated.
“I think you’re reading too much into this,” she attempted as she rinsed her bowl at the sink. “The dog may well be a stray. But that doesn’t mean he belongs to this house or to us.”
“Really? Then where is he?”
“What do you mean—” She turned around. Indeed, her husband remained seated at the long farmer’s table, but the dog…Junior, Darby, Cujo…was long gone. At least that ended that, she wanted to think. But already knew it didn’t.
As Theo rose to standing. “Follow me.”
She did, with growing trepidation, as Theo led her up the stairs to the dilapidated second floor.
They entered the vandalized bedroom that had once belonged to the two Dixon girls.
When Raquel and Theo entered, the dog regarded them through a single eyeball.
Then it raised its nose to the ceiling and began to howl.
“Told you,” Theo murmured.
Raquel honestly didn’t know what to say.
They took the dog to a local vet, which was nearly an hour away. They had no means of controlling the dog without a collar or leash, but it loaded into their vehicle easily enough. It did, however, balk at the vet’s front door.
“No animal likes to go to the vet,” Theo argued as they forcibly herded it in.
“When did you become an expert on Lassie?”
“I’m a man of many hidden depths,” he assured her.
“At this stage, might be better if you were a man with nine lives.”
“How do you know I’m not?”
The vet was impossibly young, Raquel thought, though that could be her bitch mode kicking in.
Dr. Ahearn poked, prodded, drew blood. The dog sat regally, if not impatiently, through the process.
End consensus, the dog, some kind of mixed breed with a clear helping of English Lab—hence the squarish head and stocky build—was in overall good health, though he could practice better oral hygiene.
Also, he’d been neutered, which implied that at one time he’d either had a home or had passed through a local shelter.
At the mention of castration, Theo reflexively covered his groin—bro code indeed.
“We don’t see that many unfixed canines in New England,” the vet explained as she washed up.
“Cats, yes, but overall, people are responsible dog owners, which is why most of the rescue dogs around these parts are from the South. So, it would be reasonable to assume the dog belongs to someone somewhere. Unfortunately, he isn’t chipped, nor does he match any of the descriptions we have for lost dogs. I’m not sure what to tell you.”
“And you’d know about local missing dogs?” Theo prodded.
“Calling us is a logical next step for most folks, after posting on social media. Have you checked any community groups on Facebook or Insta?”
“No,” Raquel started to say.
“Yes,” Theo provided. She shot him a look. He shrugged nonchalantly, as if to imply she shouldn’t have expected anything less.
“Didn’t you say you were from Shereford?” Dr. Ahearn continued. “I believe the police chief—Grady?—also serves as the animal control officer. I would reach out to her. Around these parts, the locals know the locals, whether two-legged or four. She might recognize this handsome dude.”
In the meantime…
Theo went collar and leash shopping in the lobby, while loading up on some high-end food that cost more than filet mignon per serving. Raquel had never seen her husband so gushing and effusive. Check that. Maybe after their first date. And now, for a stray mutt.
Didn’t that just figure.
The dog bore it all with noble grace. What a good boy, the vet cooed. What a good boy, Theo echoed.
I’m on to you, Raquel communicated back with her sternest look.
The mangy mutt merely yawned and returned its attention to Theo, the vet, the vet tech, not to mention the receptionist and anyone else who wandered into its orbit with an ear scratch and words of praise.
Never gonna get away with this, she tried to tell the pooch.
Already did, he communicated right back.
Damn dog.
By the end of one incredibly expensive morning, the dog had received a clean bill of health and promises for additional inquiries into its origins.
Dr. Ahearn snapped a photo to share on socials—if there’s a waiting home out there, this’ll get it done, she assured them.
But otherwise, she was more than happy to return the dog to Theo’s enthusiastic embrace.
Thanks for looking out for the furry dude, and hey, have a great day.
Only two options left, Theo stated as they loaded the beast back into their Porsche.
“Take him to a shelter?”
“Don’t even speak that way in front of him. He needs a bath!” Theo continued.
“Finally, we agree!”
Ha, the dog definitely appeared a bit more concerned now.
“Then, once he looks his best, we’ll walk him up and down Main Street. If he’s part of the community, one of the locals or shopkeepers will recognize him. Not to mention…”
A sly glance cast in her direction. Now she was even more suspicious. “If he is somehow connected to a dog named Dog,” Theo dragged out.
“Three generations removed?”
“I’m sure it’s worth bringing to the sheriff’s attention.”
The dog huffed in clear agreement.
“You’re both insane,” she informed the canine and her husband.
The dog huffed again, then produced an eerie facsimile of a grin.
“You did not win this!” she hastily protested.
But based on the dog’s expression, it clearly believed it had.