Chapter 14 #3
When she suddenly shivered, he dropped his hand from where he had touched her shoulder. She left the room still sniffling.
The pained look on Cole’s face made Dell reach for him. She wrapped her hands around each of his biceps and rested her chin
on his shoulder. “I’m sorry.”
Cole shook his head. “I thought this might be hard, but I didn’t expect to remember them. It’s like being on the other side of a glass wall where I can’t touch them.”
Dell’s heart ached. “I’ll tell them anything you want me to.”
He turned so her hands slid from his arms. “Thank you, but how is that going to work if they think we’ve never met?”
“I—” Dell went to answer, to come up with some solution to help this man she was falling for more by the second, because that
was what she did—she helped people—when Jason interrupted.
“I thought he taught at Cal.” He had removed one of the box’s lids and was flipping through a folder.
Dell circled around to his side, Cole on her heels, and looked over his shoulder. The page on top showed letterhead from the
University of Sydney and a message addressed to Dr. Cole Lewis.
“Australia?” Dell asked with a curious frown, and reached for the letter. She was skimming right as Cole spoke the same words
her eyes landed on.
“They offered me a job in their English department,” he said as if it was slowly coming back to him. “I really wanted it,
but I . . . didn’t take it.” His words faded out like he was feeling the weight of that difficult yet disappointing decision
all over again.
“Why not?” Dell asked.
He turned to her with a look of regret and perhaps a bit of shame. “I couldn’t take the leap. Moving to the other side of
the world seemed like too big of a risk.” He huffed a tiny laugh. “I’d forgotten that happened.”
The sad note in his voice put a lump in Dell’s throat. “Do you regret it?”
“I mean, I kept the offer letter, so I’d say yes.”
“I can only hear half of this conversation, so I’m going to keep digging in boxes,” Jason said, and leaned farther into the closet.
Dell took Cole’s hand with a comforting grip. “That would have been a very big change. It’s understandable you didn’t want
to uproot your whole life.”
“You’re just being generous,” he said with a half smile. “You’d uproot your whole life like that, no problem.”
“Well, sure. But I’m me. And you’re—”
“So risk averse I’m paralyzed?”
Dell opened her mouth to defend him, right as Jason gasped.
“Yowza! Was he a jewel thief or was this rock meant for someone?”
Both Cole and Dell whipped around to see Jason holding open a small velvet box with an oval-cut diamond ring in it.
Dell’s mouth popped open again. A stab of jealousy hit her right in the chest. She turned to Cole, hoping he was about to
confirm he was in fact a jewel thief and they hadn’t just discovered the engagement ring intended for the weeping near-widow
he’d forgotten about.
His eyes were wide with memory. And hurt. “It was for someone,” he said slowly. “Pamela. I asked her to marry me, and she
said no.”
The pain in his voice only amplified the pain Dell was feeling. She knew nothing of the woman but already despised her for
not being careful with Cole’s heart, which she so clearly had once held and then broke.
“Sore subject?” Jason said with a grimace, and snapped the box shut.
Dell winced at the sharp sound. She had a million questions for Cole but wasn’t sure she had the right to ask any of them.
“It was a long time ago,” Cole said, as if he knew she was wondering. “Right after grad school. It was part of the reason
I applied for that job in Sydney; I wanted to run away from everything. But I was even too afraid to do that. She broke my
heart but even more so broke my confidence. I stopped going for things I wanted after that.”
Dell could hear in his voice he was having a breakthrough. A realization was dawning over him that slid many pieces into place—and
she could see it too. He’d learned to become a passive rule follower because taking a risk with his heart on the line had failed and wounded him. Badly.
“I’m sorry that happened to you,” Dell said, and clasped his hand in both of hers. “She obviously didn’t deserve you and made
a terrible decision by saying no.”
Jason grimaced and quietly put the ring box back. “I’ll just seal up this little box of regrets, then.”
“I don’t regret it,” Cole was quick to defend. “But I regret how I let it hold me back.” He gave Dell a searching look. “Not
just in relationships, but in . . . everything. I never took another risk again. I guess other than that skiing trip, and
look how that turned out.”
She gazed back at him and could see a world crumbling and reshaping in his eyes. A broken heart underpinned who he’d become.
Even if it had healed, the scar lingered with an ache. She wished she could erase the pain for him.
Cole looked at her with a twist of his lips. What he was thinking, she couldn’t be sure. “Can we stay here for a while? I’d
really like to spend some time with my parents, if I can. And my dog,” he added, and patted Chaucer’s head, who’d been glued
to his hip the whole time.
“We can do whatever you want,” Dell said to him with a smile. And then she got an idea. “How about we take a little risk right now?”
“How do you mean?” Cole asked with a hint of worry sneaking into his voice.
“Before I give Robbie his body back, why don’t you borrow it and give your mom a hug?”
Alarm leaped across Cole’s face. At the same time, a boundless hope lit up his eyes. “Oh, I can’t—”
“Yes, you can!” Dell encouraged. “Come on, Robbie is a willing host. And I know he’ll agree when I tell him the plan.”
“Dell, that’s not a good idea.”
“You’re right. It’s a great idea.”
“What’s going on right now?” Jason cut in. “What’s a great idea? Remember I can only hear half of this conversation.”
“Right, sorry,” Dell said with a shake of her head. “Cole would like to stay here for a while, and I’m encouraging him to
borrow Robbie to tell his parents goodbye before you go.”
“Oh, that is a great idea!” Jason concurred. “You should do it, Cole. Wherever you are.” He waved his hands around in front of himself.
“He’s over here,” Dell said, and pointed to where he was standing. “And if Jason agrees, then you know it’s a good idea, Cole.”
Cole gave her a nervous look. “Remember that steamroller thing we talked about earlier?”
“Yes, but this doesn’t count. This is for your own good.”
“Believing this is for my own good is part of the steamrolling.”
“No, it’s not. Now get ready. I’m going to tell Robbie what we’re doing. Hang tight—”
“Dell, wait,” Cole said. He shot out his hand and gripped Robbie’s arm. His eyes swam with worry. “What if I . . . can’t?”
Oh. He was scared.
Dell softened when she realized. She put her hand on his and smiled. “You can. I promise you. And if for some reason it doesn’t
work, I’ll be right here.”
He looked at her with enough gratitude to knock her over. “Thank you. It would be nice to hug my mom.”
“You got it,” she said, feeling useful in giving him something he wanted. “Be back in a minute.” She turned her thoughts inward
and spoke to Robbie.
“Robbie? Would it be okay if Cole borrowed you for a few minutes? He hasn’t seen his parents in a long time, and he’d really
like to give his mom a hug.”
His voice took a moment to surface from wherever it had been. “His mom? I’d give anything for a chance to hug my mom. Of course.”
“Thank you. I knew you’d understand. Okay, stand by.”
Dell did her now customary spring-free leap and was soon standing beside Cole, back in her nightie. “He said yes, of course,”
she told him with a smile.
“Damn. I was hoping he’d refuse,” Cole said with a shy half smile.
“No such luck. Now get in there,” Dell said, and steered him by the shoulders.
“How do I do it?”
“You just do,” she said, and pushed him.
“Okay, but—?” He cut off when his body disappeared.
Dell cautiously watched Robbie with her arms out like he might faint and need to be caught. His face contorted into strange
shapes, and he briefly bent over at the middle. When he stood up straight and took a breath, Dell reached for his arm.
“Cole?”
He blinked several times like his head was spinning. “Yeah,” he eventually said with a gasp.
Dell rose up on her toes and clapped. “You did it!”
“Somehow, I did,” Cole said in Robbie’s voice.
“You’re him now?” Jason interrupted. “Cole?”
Cole turned to him, and Dell realized they hadn’t actually met yet.
Cole stuck out his hand. “Jason, pleasure to meet you. We haven’t had the chance. Well, at least not face-to-face, yet. Or,
well, you know what I mean.” He awkwardly gestured at himself.
Jason slowly stuck out his hand to place it in Cole’s/Robbie’s. “You’re really him. This is really real.”
“Very real,” Cole said. “I apologize for all the distress. You’ve been remarkably helpful. Dell is lucky to have a friend
like you.”
Jason visibly squeezed Cole’s hand harder. “Yes, she’s my best friend.” It landed like a threat and a plea.
“I understand that,” Cole said. “She is obviously very important to many people.” He paused and looked to Dell. “Myself included,
even after a day.” His eyes held hers long enough Dell could see Cole through Robbie. That soul-deep gaze she wanted to dive
into. He eventually turned back to Jason. “I promise you I am doing all I can to make things right.”
Jason paused before speaking, letting the weight of what Cole had said sink in. Dell could tell he was passing positive judgment.
“Good,” Jason said. “She deserves only the best.”
“I agree,” Cole said with a nod.
Dell watched their exchange with a rush of relief. Seeing her best friend basically approve of her . . . whatever Cole was,
felt like passing a test.