37. SIMON
SIMON
I t’s been an hour since we took off from the airport and I’ve barely said two words to anyone.
A small part of me was hoping Carlos would be returning back with us, but nothing.
I need to pull myself out of this slump.
But the aches and pains just bring everything back to the front of my mind.
Fortunately there is one person on this flight with a soul, Chase.
He is currently helping me redress my back, as we have a long journey ahead.
“Tell me if it hurts and I’ll stop,” he says with a soothing voice.
“I’ll be fine. The quicker you do it, the quicker I can take my pain meds and sleep the rest of the way,” I say.
“Holy shit, Si. Those fuckers,” Dima says. I can’t see him as I’m currently on my front and it hurts to turn my head.
“Don’t worry about it,” I say, really not wanting to discuss it.
“I think they look cool. We should get you some of those, baby,” Noah says and I feel Chase stop his movements.
“I mean this with love and affection, Noah. But you’re not fucking scarring me anywhere. You got it?” Chase warns. He must be the only one in the world who is able to speak to that maniac like that.
“Calm down, it was just an idea,” Noah says before walking past my head and taking a seat away from everyone else.
“It’s an awful idea. Nobody wants this,” I say, annoyed that he would even think this is something desirable.
“You can’t talk for everybody and people are stupid. You’re alive, aren’t you?” he challenges.
“Noah,” Chase warns, but no, I want to hear what the creepy shadow fucker has to say.
“No, let him talk,” I say.
“I don’t want to talk. It’s pointless and tiring,” he says on a yawn.
“You’re saying I should be grateful,” I mumble.
“Think what you like. I don’t give a shit. You have a few scars on your back, big fucking deal. Deal with it and move on. People are annoying as they are breathing everywhere, its worse when they don’t shut the fuck up.”
“Noah, stop it. Not everyone is like you,” Chase says.
“How awful for them,” Noah says and his words hit me deep inside.
“So you’re saying there is always someone worse off? Is that the cliché line?” I ask.
“No such thing as worse off. It’s perspective. You decide how to be. I’m surprised you are like this with what you do.”
“That’s not how humans work, Noah,” Chase sighs. He continues to cover my back in fresh bandages, and I’m impressed with his gentle touch.
“Humans suck,” Noah grumbles. “Now let me sleep and no moving away from me, Chase. I’ll sense it.”
“Yes sir,” Chase whispers sarcastically, but I think he likes the possessive nature of Noah. He’s intense. According to gossip Aaron, he stalks Chase all the time.
Chase helps me up and helps me sit back in my seat, and reclines the chair, giving me one of my painkillers. Is Noah right, do I need to just look at this differently? I'm a nightmare, stubborn to the very core.
“Don’t listen to him, Simon. You do what you feel is right for you,” Chase says as he pats my hand and walks over to the seat beside Noah and cuddles into him. I glance ahead and Aaron is sprawled out over an unamused Lev.
Could I ever be like that with a man? So comfortable and open?
A hand is shaking my shoulder roughly, and my eyes open slowly, tender from the bright light of the aircraft. Dima.
“We’ve landed. You slept the whole way, time to go home,” Dima says as Aaron pulls my chair back up and helps me to stand.
“I’m okay Aaron, thanks anyway.”
“Cool,” he says and moves along ahead of me. When we get to the top of the stairs at the exit, a dark voice talks into my ear. Noah.
“Kill your demons before they kill you,” he says, and I look back.
“They’re already dead.”
“The ones making you cry on the plane aren’t. You were talking in your sleep. Leo.”
Holy shit, I was talking about Leo? I can’t remember.
“He isn’t a demon.”
“Whatever. Only you know, but my advice is kill it. Trust me, you’ll feel better.”
“That’s murder.”
Noah focuses his terrifying eyes on me, like he’s not impressed.
“You kill all the time.”
“For work, not pleasure.”
“You're weird,” Noah says before we continue down the stairs. He thinks I’m weird because I don’t go out there on the hunt for ghosts of my past. Actually, that is weird.
Since when did the psycho turn therapist?
Ahhh, Chase must be imparting some of his wisdom, as this is the most I’ve heard Noah speak.
Either that or we’ve annoyed him to the extent that he has to speak to get rid of us.
Noah and Chase say their goodbyes since they are flying off to somewhere else. As we head off on the final part of our journey home, I check my phone. No messages.
Nothing.
He didn’t stop them.
He helped me escape.
He hasn’t returned home.
Have I lost Carlos for good before I even had him?