Chapter 10
“Girl, why did you talk to that man like that? Better yet, you could’ve let him explain himself.” Farrah fussed from the other end of the phone. I was glad she wasn’t in front of me. I could feel the glare she had on her face.
“I’m saving myself from heartbreak. That was the same lady Jonathan cheated on me with. I should have dragged her ass up and down the store aisle.”
Every time I thought of it, I grew angry all over again. What is it about that lady that rubbed me the wrong way? Is it because she stole Jonathan from me?
Farrah burst out laughing. “Girl, quit it. You’ve never fought before.”
“I never had to fight before either, but I think I have several reasons now to beat a bitch ass.”
Honestly, I felt like that after seeing that woman with a man I was interested in. I was never the violent type, but I was ready for war now.
Farrah hollered with laughter, getting on my nerves.
Sometimes I didn’t know why I called her.
She had all the answers sometimes, but this was the time I needed her on my side.
After what I had seen, I had to call my best friend since I felt lost. Nash had called me too, but I ended up blocking his number.
We had nothing to talk about. What we had was over and done with.
What was crazy was that we didn’t even have anything to start. It was good while it lasted. I guess.
“You’re so much better than this, Ken. You’re letting what Jonathan did cloud your vision of the next man. That man was probably being harmless, and you left him and then had the nerve to block his number. Girl, you’re petty as hell. I wouldn’t want anything to do with you after that.”
My lips trembled as I laid across my bed, trying not to give in to the tears that wanted to fall.
Maybe that was for the best anyway. Nash probably wanted nothing to do with a flawed woman like me.
He was too good of a man. To me, he was perfect.
It was like he had fallen from the sky and right into my line of vision.
Since then, he had been treating me right.
“It felt like déjà vu all over again, seeing him with her. They were all smiles as they shopped for the baby. What made it so bad was that she wasn’t with Jonathan.” I tried to explain to her what I saw.
Farrah huffed. “So? What’s your point? Your problem is that you don’t ask questions. That was something you should’ve done. You’ve got to let go of what Jonathan did to you and move on. If you don’t, you’ll forever be stuck. You wouldn’t want that, huh?”
I shook my head as if she could see me. “It’s hard. I’m trying to move on from heartbreak and grief. When I’m with Nash, I forget everything that hurt me. Now, I just don’t know.”
“Girl, you know. You’re just in your head right now. You’d better stop playing with that man and go get him.”
I smiled sadly as if she could see me. I didn’t know what I’d do without Farrah. She had always had my back and gave it to me straight. That was why I could always depend on her for any and everything. I never had to worry about her switching up on me.
“You’re right, Farrah. I’m going to get it together. Tonight, before I go to bed, I’m going to have an honest conversation with God. I need it because sometimes it feels like I’m losing myself. I don’t want that to happen to me.”
“It won’t,” she snapped. “You just have to stop pushing that man away. That’s your only problem. Once you stop that, you’ll be good. I need to go, since my man is calling me.”
I smirked with a shake of my head. Farrah had told me last week about the man she was currently talking to. She was smitten with him, so I hoped he didn’t hurt her. My friend needed an everlasting love, and I hoped she found it with the man she was with now.
“Okay, girl. I’m going to let you go. Thanks so much, Farrah. I love you, sis.”
“I love you too, Ken. Just know that every man isn’t like that no good Jonathan. Talk to you later.”
Once I ended the call, I knew I needed to find a way to make it up to Nash for the way I had acted toward him. It was time I let go of the past and started thinking about my future. That was the only way I’d move on completely.