Chapter Twenty-One
Lily
The bathroom door closes softly behind Damiano and I let my tears run free, my fingers curled into the sheets.
I’ve never felt like this…so exposed, so raw.
My body is spent, aching in ways that leave me trembling, while my emotions hang by a thread, wrung out and unraveling.
Damiano has stripped me bare, not only my body, but parts of myself I didn’t know, my defenses, my secrets… my sense of control.
And that terrifies me.
He touches me like he owns every inch of my skin, and somehow, it feels like he does. I crave him even when I know I shouldn’t. Especially when I know I shouldn’t.
But my mind, or what is left of it, fights to stay above the pull of him.
I can’t afford to surrender. I can’t let myself drown in the darkness he wraps around me like velvet.
He shattered me into tiny pieces and built me up again, but the pieces don’t fit the same way they used to.
I don’t know who I am anymore. And worse…
I’m not sure I want to go back to who I was before him.
‘Do you want a villa of our own? We will need more space when we have kids.’
Kids.
What is he really offering me? A gilded cage disguised as a dream?
I would be his mistress, tucked away in a luxurious villa, hidden behind silken curtains and locked doors.
A secret he visits in the dead of night, never in the light of day.
At best, he’ll eventually grow tired of me, release me quietly before he marries some mafia princess with a bloodline as clean as her image.
At worst…I’ll have his child, just like he said.
He’ll settle us in some secluded house on the outskirts, a shadow family he’ll visit less and less until we’re nothing but a fading inconvenience.
Exactly like Father did with Mom and me.
Mom loved me fiercely, no question about that.
But love doesn’t erase loneliness. I felt it in every birthday we spent just the two of us, in every sideways glance from other children who didn’t understand why my father never showed up.
And I can’t even begin to imagine what it was like for Mom to live in the silence of broken promises, watching from the sidelines as the man she loved built a life with someone else. Publicly. Proudly.
That’s not the life I want for myself. And it’s sure as hell not the life I’d ever want for a child.
I have to walk away, before history slips its chains around my neck and starts the cycle all over again.
The shower in the bathroom has stopped and the silence is only interrupted by the soft rustling of Damiano getting dressed in the walk-in closet. I roll to the side under the covers, hugging my knees to my chest, and close my eyes, pretending to be asleep.
Damiano comes into the room and pauses by the bed. The silence is deafening. After an eternity, he lets out a sigh and leaves the room. Sleep soon pulls me under.
In the middle of the night, I dream of Damiano’s hard body against mine, of his hot kisses between my thighs, his hands caressing every inch of my body, and of our moans of ecstasy disrupting the silence of the night.
* * * *
The next morning, I blink against the sun rays spilling through the window, the bright light piercing my eyelids. I groan.
Why have my mornings been so grueling since… I bolt upright.
Since I was held prisoner here.
And fucked into oblivion every night.
My skin is humming, my thighs tender from the ghost of his grip. Was it a dream, though?
I get up, shower and get dressed. When I step out into the living room, Lucas is lounging on the couch. He jumps up when he sees me and walks over to give me a bear hug.
“Hey Lil-girl! How’ve you been?”
I laugh at his bright mood. “Hello, Lucas, I’m good and you? Looks like you drew the short straw for babysitting duties today, huh?” I snicker.
“Never! I volunteered because D has a meeting he can’t get out of, and Teo is busy.”
He loops his arm around mine and leads me to the kitchen, where Rosa is busying herself with breakfast. “Hello, Rosa, it smells amazing.”
She turns around and beams at me. “Hello, Lily. Sit down, pancakes will be ready in a minute.” Lucas whoops and I have to laugh again. He is like an endearing big brother.
We eat and banter until we are full. Then we relocate to the living room.
“Can I make a phone call?” I ask. My call to Erin is overdue.
“Yeah, sure, but you need to stay near so I can hear you, and of course no details or locations.” He holds up his hands when I frown. “D’s rules, not mine.”
I roll my eyes, but I know that I have to be careful to not endanger Erin. Even though Lucas seems easygoing and sunny, I can’t forget that he is Damiano’s right hand, and allegedly as dangerous as him. I sit on the couch next to Lucas and dial Erin’s number on my burner phone.
She answers on the third ring. “Lily?”
“Hi, Erin,” I reply softly.
“Oh my God, Lily, how are you? Where are you? What happened?” I look over to Lucas, who is slouching on the couch, his eyes on me. “I am good, don’t worry. I am, uh…taking an unplanned vacation in a place I can’t disclose.”
“Giiiirl,” she squeals. “Are you on a private tropical island getting secretly married to that hunk? Is he railing you good?”
I splutter. I swear my face must be crimson, and from the smirk on Lucas’ face, he heard that.
“Nothing of the sort,” I mutter.
She huffs. “Well, when you get married, I wanna be maid of honor. Don’t you dare elope or do some other romantic shit and leave me out of the fun.”
I wince. “Erin, stop. That’s not what is going on. You are misreading the situation.”
“Am I?” She sounds unconvinced and I sigh.
“I can’t tell you. I wanted you to know that I am safe”—relatively—“and that I should be able to resume my life as soon as this…misunderstanding is resolved.” Fingers crossed. “I will let you know if anything changes.”
“Okay, if you say so. But in the meantime, there’s nothing wrong with having a good time doing the horizontal tango, you get me?”
I groan. “It’s called horizontal mambo.”
“See? You do want to do it!” she teases.
“What, no! I gotta go. I’ll call you. Love ya, Erin.”
“Love you, too, Lily. Take care. Remember, mamboooo,” she singsongs before hanging up.
“Your friend is wise beyond her age,” Lucas teases.
I smile sheepishly. Erin is on the wild side, but she is an absolute sweetheart.
“One more call.” I hold up a finger.
He gestures for me to go on.
Chiara picks up on the second ring. “Hello?”
“Sis.” I almost sob hearing her voice.
“Lee?”
“It’s me.”
“Oh my God! Where are you?” Her voice is edged with worry.
“I…I can’t tell you, but I am safe. Sort of. Don’t worry.”
“Have you been able to lose them?” She whispers the last word.
I look at Lucas and see him bent forward, sitting on the edge of the couch with his elbows on his knees staring intently at me.
He looks tense, his jaw clenched and his hands locked.
Shit, did I say something I shouldn’t have?
“I, uh…no. But that’s not an issue anymore. I wanted to tell you that I am safe.”
“All right.” Chiara breathes out. “When can I see you?”
“I don’t know, things are a bit…complicated right now. But as soon as I can, I will come to see you. How have you been?”
“Apart from Father being moodier than usual, nothing has really changed. Mama still insists I go to every social meeting. I swear I am going crazy.”
“Oh no.” I grimace. Lucas staring holes in my head makes me nervous so I shorten the conversation. “I have to go, love you like crazy.”
“Love you so much, Lee. Please be safe.”
I hang up with a heavy heart. Lucas has a faraway look and I take a few seconds to collect myself. I walk to the window and look at the city below. Will I ever see my sister and friend again? Will I ever make it out of here?
I turn resolutely to Lucas. He has resumed his slouching on the couch. “I want to get out of here and return to work.”
“You will have to discuss this with D, Lil-girl.”
“But you could talk some sense into him?” I plead.
“I’m afraid that when it comes to you, all his good sense vanishes.”
I am about to argue when the front door opens and the man himself strides in.
“Yo, D, we’ve been eagerly waiting for you.”
“We have not!” I give Lucas the stink eye.
Unfazed, he stands up and wraps an arm around my shoulders, ignoring the glower Damiano shoots his way. “Our Lil-girl here wants to get out to have some fresh air.”
Damiano looks ready to explode. He stomps toward us and rips me out of Lucas’ arms to squish me against him. Geez, possessive, much?
“You are not getting out of here,” he barks.
“D-man, you’re not scoring points here,” Lucas says.
“You can’t keep me locked up here forever,” I protest simultaneously.
Damiano looks from Lucas to me and narrows his eyes. “Luc, leave us.”
I give Lucas the puppy eyes, silently pleading with him not to leave me alone with Damiano, but he sends me a rueful shrug and leaves.
I am alone with the Devil again.