Chapter 6
The dance floor was darker than the rest of the bar, the lighting dropped to almost nothing except for the occasional wash of colour from overhead rigs that swept across the crowd in slow, lazy arcs.
The music was heavier in here, a deep electronic pulse that Ellie could feel in her bones, and the air was warmer, thicker, dense with bodies and perfume and sweat.
Ellie found a spot near the wall where she could see without being in the way, leaning against a pillar with her arms folded across her chest, trying to look like someone who was just watching the crowd and not like someone whose entire nervous system was on fire.
She found them quickly. Becca and Kelly were maybe fifteen feet away, already dancing, and the sight of them together hit Ellie hard, harder than she’d anticipated even after weeks of fantasising about exactly this.
They looked good together. That was the first thing, the most basic thing, and it was absolutely undeniable.
Two beautiful women moving to the music, finding a natural rhythm with each other that spoke to the chemistry she’d noticed before.
Kelly danced with confidence, nothing too showy, just a natural comfort with how her body moved that drew Ellie's eye.
Becca matched her energy, the two of them mirroring each other without seeming to try.
And the eye contact… God, the eye contact.
Ellie may as well have been sat at home watching them on TV for all that she figured in their world right then, in fact the whole dance floor might as well have been somewhere else.
Their eyes were locked on each other, intense, and Ellie could see the hint of a smile on both women’s faces.
Nothing else existed, and seeing Becca desired like that, seeing Becca desire someone else like that too, it did something very, very carnal to Ellie.
The gap between them was closing. Ellie watched it happen in increments… a step closer, a hand on a hip, bodies nearly touching, then touching, then Becca turning so that her back was to Kelly and Kelly's hands settling on her waist, pulling her gently backwards until there was no gap at all.
Ellie's mouth went dry. She was watching her wife dance with another woman, pressed together, Kelly's hands on Becca's hips and Becca leaning back into her, her head turned to say something that made Kelly grin, and it looked like something out of every fantasy they'd shared in the dark of their bedroom except it was real, it was happening, it was fifteen feet away from her in a bar in East Austin.
Becca turned around to face Kelly again and they were close now, inches apart, Becca's hands resting on Kelly's shoulders, Kelly's hands still on Becca's waist. They were looking at each other with an intensity that made Ellie feel like she was intruding on something private, even though this was happening in a room full of people, even though she was supposed to be watching, even though Becca had handed her the necklace and walked into this with Ellie's explicit agreement and encouragement.
The kiss, when it came, was gentle.
That surprised Ellie. In her fantasies, in Becca's narrations, the kiss was always hungry, desperate, two mouths colliding.
In reality it was almost tentative… Kelly leaned in slowly, giving Becca every chance to pull back, pausing for several seconds just in case, and Becca didn't pull back.
She met Kelly halfway, and their lips touched, and it looked soft, almost hesitant, and then it deepened and Becca's hand moved from Kelly's shoulder to the back of her neck, and Kelly pulled Becca closer by the waist, and Ellie forgot how to breathe.
Her wife was kissing another woman.
Her wife… her Becca, the woman she'd been with since they were eighteen, the woman she'd married, the woman she fell asleep next to every night…
was kissing someone else, and it wasn't a performance for Ellie's benefit, it was genuine and mutual, not to mention getting more intense by the second.
Ellie could see Becca's fingers in Kelly's hair, could see Kelly's hand slide from Becca's hip to the small of her back, pulling her in, and the kiss went from tentative to deep and from deep to the kind of kiss that makes the people around you either look away or stare.
Ellie stared.
The jealousy hit her in a rush, sharp and breathless, and right behind it, so close it was almost simultaneous, the arousal…
equally sharp, equally breathless, swallowing the jealousy whole the way it always did when they fantasised, consuming it and transforming it into something that felt like a desperate, pure, physical, aching need.
They kissed for a long time. Long enough that the song changed twice.
Long enough that Ellie's legs started to feel weak and she pressed harder against the pillar to stay upright.
Long enough that when they finally broke apart, Becca's lips looked swollen, and her chest was rising and falling fast, and Kelly was looking at her with an expression that Ellie could only describe as lustful hunger.
They danced some more, but differently now.
There was absolutely no pretence that this was casual anymore.
Kelly's thigh was between Becca's legs at one point, the two of them grinding slowly against each other, and Becca’s head dropped to Kelly's shoulder and Ellie saw her mouth moving, saying something into Kelly's ear that made Kelly's grip on her tighten.
Then Kelly took Becca's hand and led her off the dance floor, Becca going with her willingly without even a glance towards Ellie who realised that that was what handing over the necklace had meant: while I’m not wearing this I’m hers, not yours.
Ellie followed, her heart slamming against her ribcage, weaving through bodies, keeping them in sight.
They were heading toward the far corner of the indoor space, away from the bar and the dance floor, where the lighting was dimmest and a row of deep booths lined the wall, most of them occupied but one, the furthest back, the darkest, empty.
Kelly slipped into the booth and Becca followed after her on the same side of the table. Before Ellie could even find a vantage point they were kissing again, passionately this time, Kelly's hand on Becca's face, Becca's hand on the bare skin of Kelly's thigh.
Ellie found a spot against the wall, close enough to see but not right in their line of sight because of the angle and the darkness. Her hands were shaking. Both necklaces felt heavy against her skin, as if they were carrying the weight of whatever the hell this was that was happening.
In the booth, things were escalating fast. Kelly had moved her mouth to Becca's neck and Becca's head was tilted back, her eyes half-closed, her lips parted in an expression that Ellie had seen a thousand times in their bedroom but never like this, never caused by someone else, and the sight of it was so intensely erotic that Ellie felt a throb of arousal between her own legs that almost hurt.
She glanced around, worrying suddenly that they might get seen, that security might throw them out, but she needn’t have worried.
Two of the other booths were taken up by people in similarly passionate embraces, and the staff were nowhere to be seen.
She wondered, in a moment of clarity, whether they generally turned a blind eye to what went on back here, before she returned her focus to Becca and Kelly.
Kelly's hand moved from Becca's face lower, to Becca's white top, and Ellie could see her fingers moving over the fabric, tracing down to Becca’s breasts.
Becca gasped, Ellie couldn't hear it over the music but she could see it, the sharp intake, the way her body pushed toward Kelly's touch, and then Becca's own hand on Kelly's thigh started sliding upward.
This was far more than just kissing now. Both of them were really into it in this dark corner of the bar where nobody was looking except Ellie.
Kelly's hand moved down from Becca's top to between Becca's legs, pressing against the seam of her jeans, and Becca's hips shifted forward into the contact.
At the same time Becca's hand found its way between Kelly's thighs and Ellie watched, barely breathing, as they mirrored each other, both of them touching each other through clothes, the movements small, delicate, nothing to draw attention from anyone who wasn't already looking for them.
But Ellie was looking. Ellie could see everything.
The way Becca's fingers were working against Kelly through her dress.
The way Kelly was pressing the heel of her hand against Becca in a slow, rhythmic grind.
The way they were kissing through it, messy and urgent now, breaking apart only to gasp or to shift position or to look at each other with expressions that made Ellie's stomach lurch.
She saw the moment Kelly's free hand moved to undo the button on Becca's jeans, saw Kelly's fingers slip inside, and Becca's whole body went rigid for a second before she let out a breath that Ellie could see from her vantage point…
a long, shuddering exhale, her head falling back from their kiss, her mouth open.
Becca's hand was still working between Kelly's legs but under the dress now, her movements more urgent and much more obvious, and Ellie watched them find a joint rhythm, the two of them touching each other in the dark booth with the music pounding around them, and the crowd oblivious, and Ellie the only witness to what was happening.
Then Becca turned her head.
Across the dark space, past the booth's edge, through the dim light, her eyes found Ellie's.
And there it was. The look. The one Ellie had been chasing since that first night at the bar near Rainey Street, the one she'd fantasised about, the one she'd tried to imagine and never quite got right because imagination could never capture the reality of it.
Becca's face was flushed, her lips moist from kissing, her eyes glassy and struggling to focus with her arousal, and in her expression Ellie could see everything: the pleasure, the vulnerability, the disbelief, the gratitude, and below all of it a connection so fierce and direct that it felt like Becca was touching Ellie from across the room, reaching through the space between them and holding her.
Can you see this? the look said. Can you see what's happening to me? Are you still here? Do you still want this? Then something else. I want this… can I have your permission?
Ellie held her gaze and nodded, and she saw Becca’s expression change. Relief, a little smile of gratitude, and then surrender, letting herself go completely.
Kelly's hand was moving faster inside Becca's jeans.
Becca's eyes stayed locked on Ellie's as her body responded, her hips rocking, her free hand gripping the edge of the booth seat, and Ellie could see it building the way she'd watched it build a thousand times before…
the flush deepening across Becca's chest and neck, the way her breathing went from fast to ragged to almost stopped, the way her body started to shake.
Becca came with her eyes on Ellie.
Not looking at Kelly. Not with her eyes closed, lost in sensation.
She came looking directly at Ellie across the depths of a dark, crowded bar, and the expression on her face as her orgasm hit was the most beautiful and illicitly erotic thing that Ellie had ever seen…
a silent cry, her mouth open, every muscle tensing, and through it all her gaze never breaking from Ellie's, a connection so intense it felt physical.
Ellie felt her own body respond with a sympathetic shudder that left her weak-kneed, gripping the wall behind her, her own arousal so acute that she was fairly sure she could climax from watching alone if it lasted another thirty seconds.
But she stayed still. She watched. This was Becca's moment, and Ellie's role was to bear witness.
Seconds later Kelly shuddered too, her mouth dropping to Becca's shoulder, Becca's hand still moving between her legs, and Ellie saw Kelly's body tense and then release, a tremor rolling through her that Becca held her through, her arm coming up around Kelly's shoulders, pulling her close, the two of them breathing hard against each other in the dark booth.
For a long few moments they stayed like that, holding each other, catching their breath. Then Becca gently withdrew her hand and Kelly did the same, and they sat back, both of them looking slightly dazed. Becca said something close to Kelly's ear that made Kelly smile weakly and nod.
Becca leaned over and kissed Kelly once more, briefly, and then slid out of the booth.
Ellie watched her walk towards her, weaving through the edge of the crowd, her gait slightly unsteady, her cheeks burning, her eyes still carrying that brightness, and when she reached Ellie she didn't say anything.
She just stood in front of her and took both of Ellie's hands in hers, and they looked at each other.
The noise of the bar, the music, the crowd all fell away and it was just them.
"Hey,” Becca said, barely audible over the music.
"Hey,” Ellie replied.
"That just happened."
"Yeah, it did."
Becca let out a breath that was halfway to a laugh. "I need about sixty seconds to remember how my legs work. You ok?”
Ellie looked at her for a long few moments. “Yeah. Yeah… I’m… yeah.”
Becca grinned and Ellie grinned back. “That was mad.” She hesitated. “You want to meet her?”
Ellie felt her eyebrows rise. “Meet her? Like, now?”
“Yeah.” She was nodding. “If you’d like. We could see if this goes further.” She gave Ellie’s hands a squeeze. “Or if not that’s fine. If you want you and me to just get a drink now, that’s fine. If you want me to rush you home and show you just how much I love you, that’s fine. Whatever you want.”
Ellie took a deep breath and tried to collect her thoughts… she’d just watched Becca with another woman, being pleasured by another woman, pleasuring another woman. What did she want now? Everything sounded appealing, but so did nothing.
“What do you want to do?” she replied eventually.
“Meet her,” Becca answered without hesitation. “If what just happened is going to be about both of us, both you and me, then you need to meet her. She needs to meet you. We're not strangers in this, El. All three of us. And…” She smiled. “I’d like to see how far this goes.”
Ellie nodded. Becca was right, of course she was right.
Whatever happened next, whether anything even happened next, couldn't be built on Ellie being a shadow in the corner.
If Kelly was leaving with them, and when she asked herself Ellie knew that she wanted that with every fibre of her being at that precise moment, then it had to start with the three of them looking each other in the eye.
“I’ll go get her.”