Chapter 13
dirks
The room was quiet except for the soft sound of her breath. She lay across the bed, one leg bent lazily, skin flushed and marked where I’d kissed her, held her, made her come apart.
“I’m running you a shower,” I said, brushing her hair off her face. “Stay here.”
“I could get used to this,” she murmured, stretching. “All the orgasms and none of the cleanup.”
I smirked as I turned away. “You earned it.”
“Damn right I did.”
I stepped into the bathroom and turned the knobs until the water was perfectly warm. Steam curled against the mirror, fogging the edges. I lit her a lavender candle and set her towel on the counter. By the time I walked back into the bedroom, she was sitting upright.
“Do I at least get a full-service body scrub?” She teased, standing and sauntering toward me with that lazy, post-orgasm confidence that made my knees go weak.
When she stepped into the bathroom, her eyes cut to the flickering candle and the thick steam behind the glass. “Look at you,” she murmured. “Setting the scene. Trying to get laid again?”
“Is it working?”
She gave me a look over her shoulder. “That depends. You gonna wash my hair or just stare at my ass the whole time?”
“Why not both?”
She snorted and stepped into the shower. I followed her in, and for a moment we just stood there, water cascading over us. Her head was tilted back under the stream, soaking her hair, her lips parted slightly like the warmth was baptizing her.
She was glowing.
Drops beaded along her collarbone. Her skin shimmered in the steam. Her thighs still trembled slightly, and faint red marks colored the skin where my stubble had scraped her inner legs.
Mine.
I grabbed shampoo and poured it into my palms, working the lather gently into her hair. She leaned into me as I rinsed suds from her hair. Her back hit my chest, and I wrapped an arm around her waist, pressing a soft kiss to her wet shoulder.
“You always do this,” she whispered after a moment. “Make me feel like I can breathe again.”
I didn’t answer, just reached for the body wash and worked it into a lather. I moved my hands over her slowly, over her arms, her stomach, between her breasts, rinsing the night from her skin without washing any of it away.
When I dropped to my knees behind her and began washing her thighs, she looked over her shoulder and murmured, “You’re gonna make me fall for you all over again.”
I looked up at her, grinning. “Good because I never stopped falling.”
She stepped back slightly and turned, resting her hand on my head. “Finish up and maybe I’ll reward you.”
I raised a brow. “With another orgasm?”
She smirked. “No. I’ll let you snuggle me.”
I laughed, leaning in to press a kiss to her hip. “You’re too generous.”
She gave a dramatic sigh. “I know. It’s exhausting being this benevolent.”
I helped her out of the shower, wrapped her in the towel, and grabbed one for myself. My cock was still sensitive, my body drained, but my head was clearer than it had been in weeks.
Serving her always brought me back to myself.
I brushed her damp hair off her forehead and kissed it. “Come to bed,” I said softly. “Let me hold you tonight.”
We dried off, and I handed her an oversized shirt to wear before tucking her into my bed, grateful she didn’t put up an argument about having to go.
I slid in beside her, and we lay in bed, the lights low, her body tucked against mine.
She faced me, her breath soft, her skin still damp from the shower.
A rogue strand of hair had fallen over her cheek, curling slightly from the steam.
I reached out and gently tucked it behind her ear, letting my knuckles brush the curve of her jaw.
She smiled faintly, eyes half-lidded. “I should’ve blow-dried it before bed,” she murmured. “I’m gonna wake up looking like a frizzy, humidified disaster.”
I didn’t laugh. Instead, I looked at her.
“Do you feel it?”
She blinked once, the smile slipping from her lips.
She didn’t answer with words. She simply nodded.
My throat tightened. The air shifted between us. It was full of the things we hadn’t said yet. The ones we always danced around when the lights were on and the world was loud.
“I miss him, too,” I said softly. “I miss the way it felt when it was the three of us. How natural it was. How he kept the pulse steady when we couldn’t.”
“I know,” she whispered.
“We need to know what this is. We need to create a foundation if we’re going to do this together.”
She blinked. “Dirks . . . ”
“I want to try,” I said. “Really try. Date you. Take our time. Build something stable. And if it still feels like we’re missing something . . . ”
Her throat bobbed, but she didn’t look away.
“Then we talk about finding him. Together.”
“What if he doesn’t want to come back?”
“Then we walk away knowing we tried our best.”
She was quiet for a long time.
“Okay. That feels right . . . but there are things I can’t talk to you about.”
I stayed still. I didn’t press.
“And don’t ask me,” she said firmly. “Don’t bring up Austin.
I don’t want to know anything about where he is.
Don’t talk to me about their family. That’s not our story, and Nova’s isn’t mine to tell either.
” Her voice trembled. “We can talk about it . . . later, once we figure out what this is, because I’m here for us.
For rebuilding this. That’s all I want to focus on. ”
I nodded once. “Yeah. I like that.”
She exhaled like she’d been holding her breath for years. She curled closer, letting her forehead rest against mine.
“I just don’t want to lose you again,” she said.
“You won’t.”
I didn’t want to lose her either.