Chapter 20
ASHLEY
Nate: Dad, there was a bomb planted at the finish line for the DB game. Six people are dead, and it was very nearly me, Ashley, and Royce. How the fuck did this happen? And if she’s willing to kill me, there’s no telling what she’ll do to Carina. You need to get the hell out of town NOW.
W ithin half an hour of the explosion on the lake, we’d been airlifted back to the main lodge. Six members of the Devil’s Backbone were dead. Utterly obliterated. And if we hadn’t fucked around so much on the shore with sabotaging one another…it would have been us.
That knowledge had me shaking uncontrollably as Carter lifted me out of the helicopter and carried me into the lodge. The other boys and Carly all crowded around as Carter carried me up the grand staircase, while Heath gave Nate and Royce strict instructions to shower and change.
“What about Ash?” Carly asked, wringing her hands anxiously. “She needs medical attention. That blast was so close to her, it could have?—”
“She needs a shower,” Carter growled, cutting off my friend’s concerns. “That is the most important thing right now.” Heath directed him through to one of the bedrooms with an attached bathroom and turned on the taps to run the shower at full strength.
“Put her down,” Carly told Carter. “I’ll help her get that dress off.”
Carter did as he was told, carefully lowering me to my bare feet on the tiled floor. “We’ve got her, Carly. Go get changed yourself. You’re shivering.”
We were all saturated from the lake but it was only me that looked like a stunt actor from Carrie.
I’d slipped into intense shock right after realizing what’d happened, so the boys had pushed me back to shore on the duck.
They’d been too worried I would drown if they pulled me into the water because I’d been so nonresponsive.
Not that I hadn’t wanted to respond. I’d badly wanted to rinse off in the lake, but my shock had locked me prisoner inside my own head and prevented any speech or movement.
“Jesus Christ ,” Carter swore as he stripped my ruined ball gown off my freezing body. “She’s so cold.”
“Give her to me,” Heath ordered, already stripped down to his boxer briefs and standing under the steaming shower spray. “I’ll wash her.”
Carter did as he asked, and I mentally screamed at myself to stop being such a pussy. It was just a little blood, right? I could handle blood. I’d been just fine when Heath murdered Dr. Fox, so what the hell was my problem now?
Maybe a good portion of my shock was due to the fact that that bomb had been meant for me—for me, for Royce, and for Nate . Had Jocelyn seriously just tried to murder her own son? What kind of sick bitch would do such an abhorrent thing? And for what? To hurt Max?
Holy hell, we’d underestimated her. Or Colonel Mike had. So much for Mr. Authority-Pants telling us to stay out of it because he had it handled. Oh man, the words I had for him next time our paths crossed…
“Hey, are you with me?” Heath asked softly as he rubbed foamy soap down my arm, his fingers massaging my muscles gently as he washed the gore from my skin.
“Ashes, you’re starting to scare us, baby.
Give me something to work with here—just a little response is okay.
Does anything hurt? Are your ears still ringing? ”
Pull it together, Ashley. You didn’t get blown up. You’re fucking fine. Stop acting like a victim!
With what seemed like a mammoth effort, I forced my eyes to focus a little more as I lifted my gaze to Heath’s face. “I’m not hurt,” I mumbled, exhausted simply by moving my lips. “I’m okay. I can shower…”
“I’m not leaving,” he growled with absolute finality. “Let me take care of you.”
A small nod was all I could muster up, but it was all Heath needed to continue soaping me up and scrubbing the sticky, half-dried blood splatters from my skin. Not to mention the chunks.
I couldn’t pinpoint exactly when, but at some stage, Heath started humming a vaguely familiar tune under his breath as he washed me. It was just enough for my mind to latch onto, a little distraction to allow me to surface from the numbness of shock.
“I like that tune,” I mumbled, leaning into his strong body as his arms circled around my waist. “What is it?”
“It’s called ‘Nightingale,’” he told me, as he stroked down my spine while holding me close. He was no longer washing me, instead just cradling me as the hot shower defrosted my bones. “My mom wrote it when I was just a baby, but it was recorded by my uncle’s band a few years after she died.”
“It’s pretty,” I commented, looping my arms around his waist to hold on to him a little longer. His humming morphed into softly sung lyrics, and I let my eyes close. I was safe here in the shower with Heath, and I was alive. We were all alive…despite someone’s best efforts.
That was more than I could say for the two teams who’d been eviscerated by the bomb underneath that floating platform.
“We were the only team with an air compressor,” I finally said out loud, straightening up to meet Heath’s eyes. “You didn’t get one, and I don’t think anyone else did, or they would have made it to the finish platform way sooner.”
Heath’s brow dipped slightly. “You think it was given as a tactical advantage? To ensure your team won?”
I shrugged a little. “Don’t you? This has Jocelyn written all over it, and if we’re right, that she’s doing everything to hurt Mom and Max, then doesn’t it stand to reason that?—”
“Oh,” Heath breathed in understanding. “It wasn’t just you that she wanted to kill—it was Nate too. Holy shit.”
I nodded, tears burning at the backs of my eyes. “And if Carter hadn’t thrown the pump in the lake, we’d be dead right now. Royce, Nate…gone. Just like that. And what if we’d decided to pool our resources and share the pump, then you and Carter and Carly would all be dead too and then?—”
“Hey, Ashes, calm down,” Heath soothed, cutting off what was quickly spiraling into a hysterical rant. “Breathe, baby, inhale slowly, exhale slowly. Don’t let the fear control you.”
Tears were running freely down my face now, and my hands trembled where I grasped his waist for dear life.
I couldn’t seem to swallow the thick terror currently choking me.
“I could have lost you all today,” I whimpered, my chest hurting with how shallow my breathing was.
“We all trusted Royce’s deadbeat dad, and we let our guard down, and I could have lost you and I never even told you that I love you and I really fucking do.
I really, really love you, and you nearly died today.
We all nearly died today. Heath, what if?—”
“You love me?” he asked, breaking through my building panic attack with just that one simple question. His lips curved in a small smile, his gaze soft as if I hadn’t just been utterly spiraling a second ago.
I blinked my confusion. “Huh?”
His grin spread wider. “You just said that you love me.”
I bit my lip, recalling what I’d just said.
“Yes…because I do.” I swallowed hard, mustering up the courage to tell him how I actually felt for once in my life.
Lowering my eyes from his, I confessed, “I should have told you sooner. I can’t believe it took a bomb and six dead people to make me find the courage to tell you that I love you, because I really love you, Heathcliff.
Like, so much that the idea of losing you again is enough to break me.
I can’t go through that again. When those doctors convinced me you were actually dead, that you’d succeeded when you hung yourself…
I cried for days . I wanted to die, Heath.
The concept of living in a world without you was utterly unfathomable. ”
I drew a long, shuddering breath, my fingers clutching at him while I tried to get a goddamn grip. “I’m sorry it took me this long. I love you.”
Heath cupped my face in his hands, tilting it back and brushing the softest of kisses across my lips. A pathetic little whimper escaped me, and he deepened the kiss briefly in a physical acceptance of what I was saying.
“You don’t need to apologize to me, Ashes,” he murmured against my lips, his thumb stroking beneath my ear.
“I don’t need to hear it out loud, and I was never under any illusions that you didn’t love me as much as I love you.
But I swear to fucking god, Ashley Layne, if I hear you talking about wanting to die again, I will personally tie you up and…
do something to convince you never to talk like that again. ”
A short laugh bubbled out of me. “Do something? That’s ominous. What kind of something?”
Heath’s lips curved in a wide grin. “I have no idea. But I bet the boys could weigh in with some creative ideas on that.”
I groaned at that idea, then a cold chill of dread and guilt ran through me. “I had sex with Nate.”
That, of all things, surprised Heath enough that he drew back a short distance to stare at me with puzzled eyes. Like he was trying to figure out if I was messing with him.
I cringed, feeling like an absolute piece of shit. “I’m sorry.”
Heath exhaled heavily, giving a shaking laugh as he swept his hand through his wet hair. “Finally. I was getting really worried that you two were never going to break that wall down and Nate was going to make good on his plan to move out.”
That startled me enough that I took a step back. “He what? Without us?”
Heath nodded. “He’s been saying for a while that he didn’t fit in with our new dynamic, that he felt like his being there was uncomfortable and all kinds of other utter bull crap to cover for the fact he was falling for you so hard, it was scaring him.”
My mouth opened and closed a couple of times as I tried to process what Heath was saying. Then I frowned and shook my head. “I don’t want to talk about Nate. I just needed to be honest with you, so it wouldn’t seem like I was cheating or something.”
Heath smiled, pulling me back close to him. “I trust you, Ashes. No matter what, I trust you with my whole heart. This…this development actually makes me really happy.”
I groaned, my chest filling with the warmth of his happiness. “You guys are so sappy, I swear to fuck. I thought men were meant to be too insecure to admit they love their friends.”
He barked a laugh of pure delight. “Not us, baby. We’re a different breed.”
“You can say that again.” I leaned my head back into the shower spray to rinse the tears from my cheeks. Also, I desperately needed to shampoo my hair at least seven times to feel properly clean.
Heath swatted my hand away when I reached for shampoo, filling his own palm instead. “Let me,” he murmured, spinning me around so he could lather up my tangled hair with the fragrant solution. “I love your hair. It’s so…” He trailed off, his hands stilling against my scalp.
“What?” I asked, suspicious at why he’d just stopped. “Is there something in my hair?”
“Um,” he responded in an oddly tight voice. “Yes…I think it’s just…” My scalp tugged slightly as he gently retrieved whatever was caught in my hair. Then he gagged, and I spun around in horror to see what he’d pulled out.
“Is that—?” I squeaked in revulsion, trying to make the object dangling from Heath’s fingertips make sense. When Heath gave a nauseous nod, my own stomach flipped and clenched dramatically. “Oh my god. I’m going to be sick.”
Horrified at both the body part that’d been caught in my hair and at the idea Heath was about to see me vomit, I leapt out of the shower and crouched naked and dripping over the toilet to empty my guts.
Carter had to have been standing right outside the bathroom or something, because he immediately came crashing in with panic etched across his face. Then he skidded to a halt beside where I hugged the toilet.
“What happened, Spark? Are you okay?”
I couldn’t make the words come out. I just gestured weakly to Heath, who was frozen in horror as he stared at?—
“Is that a fucking eyeball ?” Carter exclaimed. “Where the fuck did that come from?”
My stomach heaved again as Heath croaked, “Ashley’s hair.”
“Hey, what’s all the commotion in here?” Royce asked, strolling casually into the bathroom wearing a fluffy, white robe.
He paused when he saw me naked on the floor and probably a lovely shade of green in the face.
Then he swung his confused gaze to Heath and blanched.
“What the fuck ?” he exclaimed, turning whiter than a sheet.
“Why are you holding that? It’s got the nerve attached and— ” His own gag reflex cut him off, and he grasped the edges of the sink while he ejected the protein bars and water, same as I’d just done.
Carter looked between the three of us with disgust—and a little amusement—then grabbed the eyeball from Heath, tossed it into the toilet on top of my vomit, and flushed. “There. All gone.”
Gone but never forgotten. Fuck washing my hair—I needed to shave it all off.