Chapter 3
Chapter Three
SKY
S ky walked back to his desk, reveling in the scrape of cotton against his bruised knees and the slight soreness in his back. It had been a long time since he and Jackson had gotten up to anything naughty during the work day. The fact that it was their shared lover who inspired the midday tryst made it ten times hotter.
He wasn’t expecting to run into anyone on the way to his cubicle. Unlike Jackson and Tyler, the marketing department had a bullpen style layout. Sky much preferred it to the lonely offices upstairs. Then again, it meant he’d never get to have a mid-day rendezvous with Tyler, but he was glad Jackson got to spend time with their tempting lover–
Sky nearly ran head first into said tempting lover and only managed to avoid the collision by falling sideways into the hallway wall.
“Sky! Hey!” Tyler said, his broad grin leaving Sky momentarily speechless.
He pressed his hip into the wall and found another bruise, this one most likely left by Jackson’s strong hands, hands that had held him through breakups and heartbreaks but also through new beginnings and second chances at love.
For a while there, Sky had wondered if Jackon would ever really want to take a second chance at polyam love. To be honest, there had been some dark times where Sky wondered the same for himself. Connor had really done a number on them.
Sky had met Jackson and Connor at a Toastmasters club of all places. Unbeknownst to Sky, Jackson had already been actively courting Connor at the time. Sky had been a little more insecure back then, hence joining a public speaking group, and he’d been ready to concede his crush on Jackson, believing there was no way Jackson would pick him over Connor. Surprising them both, Connor had invited them out to dinner and said he knew about Sky’s interest in Jackson before admitting his own feelings for Sky. He proposed they try being a triad, and it worked out perfectly because Sky had always known he was polyamorous, and Jackson was, too. Sky hadn’t known Connor all that well, but he liked him well enough to give it a shot. He’d ended up falling in love with him over their next two years together.
At first, everything seemed great. They fit together almost effortlessly, but in the end, that had been part of the problem. Connor had said and done all the right things, been exactly the energizing partner Jackson needed and the grounding force Sky was looking for. He challenged Jackson to try new things and harnessed Sky’s boundless energy into something constructive. It was only through Connor’s support that Sky finally pulled the trigger on starting testosterone. He’d always wanted to try it but had never found the time or headspace to investigate the pros and cons. Connor had been the one to sit him down with a list of recommended doctors and even went with him to his first appointment.
At the two and a half year mark, they’d begun to talk about ways to make their arrangement more long-term, including powers of attorney, shared leases, and living wills. For once, Sky had been the one to lead the charge, finding all the necessary lawyers, getting their documents in order, and going so far as to purchase a set of three matching promise rings. It made it all the more painful when Connor announced he was leaving them to be with another man who was only interested in monogamy.
While Sky had initially been crushed, he threw himself into his relationship with Jackson, and time had healed most of his heart’s wounds. Eventually, he began to think that if they had come so close to everything they wanted once, they could probably do it again with the right partner. Jackson had been much quieter in his grief, just as he was often quieter with his joy. He’d supported Sky’s ventures into finding another partner, but he’d been more reserved with them, never really opening up the way he did with Sky and Connor.
Things had slowed down after they’d gotten married for a myriad of reasons. Sky had been between jobs, and his top surgeon had an opening pop up almost nine months earlier than originally planned. Sky said he was willing to wait, but Jackson had gotten down on one knee only a few days later and produced a sparkling rose gold ring.
“Sky, there’s not a doubt in my mind that I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I know traditional marriage doesn’t interest either of us that much, but with your surgeries coming up, it will make things a lot easier for insurance, power of attorney, and for buying that condo I know you’ve been eyeing.”
Sky had cried, something that became surprisingly hard after starting T, and asked Jackson over and over again if he was sure. Jackson hadn’t waivered once, not even when he’d begun to develop a big ol’ crush on his coworker, his “work husband,” as Tyler liked to say. Sky found it incredibly endearing that Tyler called him that—and even cuter that he called Sky his “work husband’s husband.” It didn’t seem to bother Tyler in the slightest that they were married. The previous Saturday he’d absently run his thumb back and forth over Sky’s ring and only stopped to tangle his fingers in Sky’s hair when he initiated a kiss.
Now, Sky ran his own thumb over his ring as he looked up into warm brown eyes, which were turning cloudy with concern the longer it took Sky to greet him.
“Hi,” he finally managed to say, giving his ring one more spin for good measure. “What are you doing down here, darling?”
The clouds in Tyler’s eyes turned stormy and dark as he stepped forward into Sky’s space and dropped his voice. “You know, I don’t think I’ve had the chance to tell you this…but I really love it when you call me that.”
Sky’s stomach clenched, and he felt renewed wetness mix with what Jackson had left inside him. In bed, it was one of Sky’s favorite parts of being trans, ready-to-go lube that allowed him quicker prep and faster access to intimacy with his partners. Right now, though, it was more of an annoyance he’d have to deal with the rest of the afternoon.
Sky pressed a hand to Tyler’s chest, allowing himself only a second to appreciate the firm muscle beneath his palm. “I’m glad, darling, but that doesn’t really answer my question.”
Tyler stared at him for a moment longer before taking a step back, placing a more appropriate distance between them. Sky wondered if he was here to share his test results, like he’d done with Jackson that morning. It wasn’t the most appropriate hallway conversation, but given what Sky had spent his lunch break doing, he supposed he wasn’t one to talk.
“I’m actually supposed to be checking on a recent purchase with your Director, but I can’t seem to find her.”
“Oh,” Sky said, the breath leaving his lungs in a huff.
He tried to hide the way his shoulders had fallen by crossing his arms over his chest. Unfortunately, this seemed to draw more attention than if he’d just let them hang loosely at his sides. Tyler glanced at his crossed arms and then back into his eyes, his brows furrowing in concern.
“You probably should have sent an email first. She’s out today with a sick kid,” Sky said, trying to hide his disappointment.
Tyler’s eyes roamed over his face, and Sky had the distinct impression that he could read Sky just as easily as one of his spreadsheets. “Yeah, I guess that would have been faster than coming all the way down here, but…”
He leaned forward until Sky could smell his woodsy cologne. Sky hadn’t washed his pillowcase in almost two weeks, loving the way Tyler’s scent still clung to the purple satin.
“But?” Sky hedged, his traitorous shoulders rising towards his ears as he waited for Tyler’s response.
“Then I wouldn’t have gotten to see your pretty face.”
Sky pulled his bottom lip between his teeth but forced his eyes to roll as if he didn’t have a care in the world. Inside, his heart did a little stutter step. Ever since Sky had said Tyler could call him whatever he wanted, he’d been dropping little compliments into conversation, calling Sky “pretty,” “cute,” “sweet,” and one time, late at night, he’d whispered in Sky’s ear that he was gorgeous.
“Flattery will get you everywhere,” Sky said as he pushed off the wall and brushed past Tyler. If he let his shoulder linger a little longer than necessary against Tyler’s side, who could blame him?
Tyler followed behind him, as Sky had hoped he would. “Is there any chance you have access to the billing statement?”
“For you?” Sky said, throwing a cheeky grin over his shoulder. “I’m sure I can find it.”
“You’re the best,” Tyler said, and the sincerity in his voice made Sky pull up short of his cubicle.
No one else was in their little pod, either out to lunch or teleworking for the day. While Sky liked to socialize the rest of the week, he got a lot of work done on Tuesdays because it was one of the team’s two telework days.
He turned on his heel and threw his arms around Tyler’s neck in a hug. Tyler’s hand found the curve of his back like it belonged there. He pulled Sky’s body flush against his chest and buried his face in Sky’s hair.
“You smell nice,” he murmured.
Sky had just been thinking the same about Tyler’s hickory smell, which would hopefully settle into Sky’s sweater for the day. For himself, Sky preferred lighter, more floral scents. Jackson had always gravitated towards fresh scents, like his current bottle of Babbling Brook for Men. Sky couldn’t help but giggle as he realized that together they made up a whole damn forest.
Tyler pulled back, a small grin on his lips even while his eyebrow arched up. “Having a good day?”
Sky couldn’t help but grin back. “I’m having a wonderful day, and it just keeps getting better.”
Tyler looked like he wanted to say more, but Sky pulled him back in for one more hug. He loved that Tyler was about halfway between Sky and Jackson’s height. It meant if he stood on his tip toes he could kiss the tip of Tyler’s sharp nose and nuzzle his cheek against the slight stubble on his jaw. Jackson was so tall that Sky had long ago given up trying to plant sneaky kisses on his lips. It was hard to be sneaky when he had to jump. Besides, all he had to do was tilt his head up and purse his lips, and he’d receive all the kisses he wanted.
His lips itched to kiss Tyler now, but he kept it G-rated just in case any of his coworkers came back to their desks. He had no problem with PDA, but things with Tyler were still undefined, and for the time being, it felt easier not having to explain things to his nosy, yet well intentioned coworkers.
“Not that I don’t enjoy the midday snuggles,” Tyler said, “but I actually really do need that document before my next meeting.”
Sky sighed dramatically and dropped back down so his feet were flat on the floor. Unfortunately, Tyler didn’t retract his hands, so he ended up dragging Sky’s sweater and dress shirt out of the back of his slacks.
“Tyler!” Sky gasped, clutching at imaginary pearls on his neck. “Naughty, naughty. Trying to get me undressed in the workplace.”
Tyler flushed an impressive scarlet and stuttered out an apology. Sky cackled as he walked over to his laptop to pull up their shared drive. He quickly found, emailed, and printed the bill for good measure–and to thank Tyler for putting up with his antics.
Tyler gave him one last quick hug, keeping his hands safely around Sky’s shoulders, before heading back upstairs.
Sky struggled to focus the rest of the day, his mind all too often drifting to his husband and his lover. He didn’t want to rush Tyler or this fledgling thing growing between them. However, with the prospect of Tyler getting tested for them, Sky anticipated there might be change coming in the near future.
By the time five p.m. rolled around, he was nowhere near done with his work, so he texted Jackson to go home without him. Jackson admitted he’d gotten very little done as well, but he was going to go home and take a nap and try to do more work that night.
Sky spun in his chair as he thought about what it would be like to include Tyler in that text thread. Would Tyler want to go home with Jackson, maybe give him a massage before snuggling up with him for a quick nap? Would he offer to stay late with Sky? Or maybe he’d go to the gym, and they’d all meet back home for dinner?
Rubbing both of his hands down his face, Sky forced himself to focus on answering a few more emails. He knew he was getting carried away with himself, but he couldn’t help it. He’d known as soon as he saw Jackson that they would be fantastic together. However, he also knew that successful relationships were at least in part due to timing. He’d been so lucky to join Jackson in a polyamorous relationship because, even though it ultimately failed, it led to them finally having their time together.
Jackson had known Tyler for several years, and it was clear, at least to Sky, that the three of them would be fantastic together, too, but the timing had never been right. He couldn’t say for sure if this was their time or not, but something in his gut told him it was. He was happier than he’d ever been with just Jackson, and they were ready and excited to expand their relationship. Now it just depended on if Tyler was ready, too.
Sky gave up working at half past six and took a ride share to their neighborhood. He decided to pick up Jackson’s favorite curry from the Indian restaurant down the street. If he’d spent the afternoon tied into knots thinking about their new relationship, he was sure his introspective husband had done the same.
He found Jackson looking soft and rumpled on the couch, crease marks from his pillow still evident on his cheek. Sky walked right past the cabinet with plates and didn’t even stop to grab silverware. They could use the plastic ones that came with the food or, if the restaurant had forgotten like they often did, they could eat with their hands for all he cared. He needed to be in his beloved’s arms now .
“Hi, love,” Jackson said, easily trading his laptop for Sky in his lap.
Sky dropped the food on their coffee table and curled up against Jackson’s chest. His fingers knotted in the well worn fabric of Jackson’s undershirt, and he pressed his nose into Jackson’s neck. Most of his cologne had faded throughout the day, and he was left smelling warm and slightly musky from sleep.
On the weekend, when they were home long enough to enjoy it, Sky liked to burn candles around the house. He also liked to take luxuriously long showers, after which Jackson usually left the bathroom window open a crack, letting in the smell of pine from the park two stories below. Over time, their furniture had begun to take on these smells, and it was often the first thing Sky noticed when he got home.
The smell of Jackson’s skin, though…that was what home truly smelled like.
“I missed you,” Sky whispered. It didn’t come anywhere near close to encompassing all the feelings swirling in his chest, but right now it felt like the best he could do.
Jackson didn’t tease him about how they’d seen each other–a lot of each other, at that–during lunch. He didn’t try and soothe him with empty platitudes or offer unfounded promises. All he said was, “I missed you, too.”
He slowly stroked his fingers down Sky’s spine until he reached the waistband of his slacks. He deftly untucked Sky’s sweater and shirt and settled his warm palm on Sky’s lower back.
The base of Sky’s throat tightened, which would’ve been a sign pre-T that he was about to tear up. Instead, he pressed his forehead into Jackson’s neck and tried to breathe through the tightness. He’d been an emotional child, and it had carried into adulthood. He used to cry at the drop of a hat, whether because he was happy, sad, excited, overwhelmed, or moved. Right now, he felt saturated in feelings, and he wished he could get it out with a few tears. Instead, he had to actually “process his feelings.”
Sky sighed, wishing he could ignore his therapist’s words, but also knowing that probably wasn’t wise. He loosened his death grip on Jackson’s shirt and tilted his head back to stare at their ceiling. “I feel like this weekend could be a big turning point in our relationship with Tyler.”
Jackson kept his hand steady on Sky’s back as he leaned around him to retrieve their dinner. He got to work untying the bag and divvying up their dishes, thankfully pulling out two forks for them from the bottom of the bag.
“I think you might be right. He’s told us a lot about his casual hookups, and it doesn’t feel like a casual thing to get tested–”
“And show you the results in the middle of the work day?” Sky interrupted.
At Jackson’s disapproving look, Sky shoveled a bite of rich curry into his mouth and batted his eyelashes. Small lines formed around Jackson’s lips as he smiled. Those lines hadn’t been there when they’d met, and Sky liked to think it meant they’d lived many happy years together.
“Well…to be fair, that actually does sound like something Tyler would do in general, but he seemed overly eager to show me. I’m hopeful that means there was some deeper intent behind it, but I guess that remains to be seen.”
“Shou’ ‘e jus’ as’?” Sky asked around a mouthful of rice. He wasn’t sure where this brattiness was coming from, but he still felt on edge, even cocooned in Jackson’s warmth and blanketed by rich coconut milk.
“Ask what, my love?” Jackson murmured.
He placed a soft kiss on the corner of Sky’s mouth, but Sky turned his head to catch him in a real kiss. The heat of Jackson’s curry was so strong it practically cleared Sky’s sinuses.
“Wow, you’re going to be feeling that later,” Sky gasped. He panted a few times to try and clear spice out of his mouth.
Jackson shrugged one shoulder and then placed another kiss on his cheek bone. “You’re avoiding the question.”
Sky tried to stab a piece of chicken on his fork, but it shot across the to-go container. “Should we just…” He tried again, and the stupid chicken slid to the other side of the box. As he tried for a third time, Jackson braced the cube of meat with the tines of his fork, and Sky was finally able to capture it. Sky slowly looked up and met Jackson’s patient gaze. “Ask him what it means?”
Tomato and ghee exploded across Sky’s tongue as he chewed with a little more force than necessary.
Jackson tipped his head back against the top of the sofa. “Maybe we should tell him what it means to us.”
Sky swallowed and ran his tongue along his teeth. “What does it mean to you?”
Jackson balanced his fork on his box and wrapped his arms tightly around Sky. “I think you said it pretty well this morning in the car. To me, it means that we want him to be ours and us to be his.”
Sky tried to contain the excitement bubbling in his chest, but he could feel it forming a goofy smile on his face. “Our boyfriend?”
Jackson’s smile was much softer, more subdued and cautious, just like he was. “I would like that very much. What about you?”
“Hell yes,” Sky said, excitement quickly bleeding to anticipation.
They smiled at each other for a minute before Jackson gave him a quick squeeze and returned to eating.
They ate in silence for a while, Jackson’s supportive hand never leaving Sky’s back. His thoughts drifted to how it felt to have Tyler’s hand there earlier that day. He craved these quieter moments with Jackson, but after only a few weeks, he found he was wishing Tyler was here, too.
Unfortunately, as was often the case for him, anticipation could only last so long, and he felt his earlier nerves creeping back in along the edges. He worried the tines of the flimsy plastic fork over his teeth, something he knew drove Jackson crazy, but he couldn’t help it. He wanted to have faith that their relationship was heading in a good direction and that it would all work out in due time, but he felt so out of practice—both with polyam relationships and with having faith in them.
Jackson finished his food first, as he always did, and he placed his empty container back in the plastic bag. He watched Sky fidget with his fork for another minute before finally taking it and Sky’s mostly empty food away.
“How about I run you a bath,” Jackson offered, and Sky’s hands reclaimed their previous death grip on his shirt. Jackson huffed out a laugh before encircling Sky in his arms. “Alright, love. How about I run us a bath?”
Sky grinned so hard, he was sure he was forming some laugh lines of his own. He was getting to the age where his religious moisturizing wasn’t going to stave them off for much longer.
He supposed that if they were formed from nights like tonight, where Jackson held him in their warm, lavender scented bath and then rubbed his back until he finally fell asleep, maybe that was okay.
* * *
“Sky, love of my life, if you’re so worried about what Tyler wants to eat this weekend, why don’t you go ask him yourself?” Jackson asked with the long suffering look of overindulgent spouses everywhere.
Sky heaved a dramatic sigh and leaned back even heavier on the side of Jackson’s desk.
He’d lasted all of four and a half hours into the next work day before anxiously coming to find Jackson. When he’d arrived in Jackson’s office—with a dramatic entrance, of course—his husband had been hunched over, toiling away at a boring spreadsheet. Sky was pretty sure Jackson much preferred talking to Sky over whatever financial report he’d been stressing over. However, the dark rings under his eyes and his disheveled hair told Sky he probably only had about two more minutes left of his patience.
“I feel like this weekend is going to change things between us,” Sky began, gearing up for a convincing speech, “and I don’t want to start us off on the wrong foot. Therefore, I see no need to upset the status quo by inserting myself into what is clearly your lane of communication–”
“Hey, Tyler, what can I help you with?” Jackson interrupted, and Sky nearly fell off the desk. He whipped his head around to find a sheepish looking Tyler standing in the doorway.
“Hey, boss. And boss’ boss. Sorry to interrupt,” Tyler said, giving them both a campy salute. The gesture was casual enough, but his posture was stiff as he stayed resolutely pressed against the doorframe.
Jackson inclined his head, and Sky, for lack of a better response, waggled his fingers in greeting. Tyler’s stance softened, and he assumed more of a slouched position, crossing his ankles and running a hand back through his already tousled hair.
Huh. Maybe Jackson and Tyler’s unkempt looks were about a project they were working on.
“I just scheduled that meeting with the higher-ups for Friday,” Tyler said. “I know that’s a quick turnaround, but I think it’s necessary to get this audit unstuck. Sorry if that puts us in a bit of a bind, but–”
Jackson waved his hand in the air and sat up straighter in his chair. “That’s fine, Tyler, thank you. I know we’ve both been pulling long hours on this, but I think we’re nearing the finish line.” He glanced at Sky and grimaced. “Sorry, love, I think this means I’ll be staying late tonight and tomorrow night.”
Sky was already primed and ready to bring on the histrionics, but a quick glance at Tyler brought him up short. His posture was still relaxed, perhaps at Jackson’s quick dismissal of his worry, but he had one corner of his lip pulled between his teeth as he glanced between Sky and Jackson.
Sky slid his hands in his back pockets and decided he may as well kill two birds with one stone. “Well, I guess we’ll have to make up for lost time this weekend, won’t we?” he said, as he slowly weaved out from behind Jackson’s desk and walked towards the door. He stopped, so close he could feel the warmth of Tyler’s body, and looked up at him through his lashes. “Jackson, don’t forget to ask Tyler what he’d like to eat, since he’ll be staying the whole weekend to make it up to me.”
Tyler’s lips slowly curled up into a sweet grin. He pressed off the door frame, but before he could get any bright ideas–like some of the naughty ones floating around Sky’s brain involving utility closets and under desk spaces–Sky strolled out of the office. Tyler’s warm laugh accompanied him down the hallway and to the elevator bank.
On a whim, he pressed the up button, deciding that if their company continued to insist on monopolizing his husband’s and lover’s time, he could at least enjoy some of the amenities for an early lunch break. He kept his hands in his back pockets on the ascent upward, arching his spine until he received a semi-satisfactory pop in his mid-back. He wished he’d brought his headphones with him, but the ambient noise of city traffic below and the quiet conversations of his fellow coworkers would have to do.
He wandered around the rooftop courtyard, checking to see if any members of his team had also opted to take advantage of the sunny day. There were a few members of Jackson and Tyler’s department—and even one of the higher ups he was pretty sure Tyler had been referencing—but no one he really wanted to talk to.
A small alcove with a lounge chair and a view of the river seemed like as good a place as any to settle and procrastinate going back to work. He curled his legs into his chest and pulled out his phone, planning to waste time clobbering Jackson in one of the six chess games they had going at any given time.
As he swiped open his phone, he paused to stare at his background. It was a blurry selfie he’d taken of himself and Jackson on a ferry the previous summer. The sun had been shining even brighter than it was now, making them look washed out, and the spray of the river had mussed up their hair. Neither of them was looking at the camera, and overall, it was one of those pictures he’d usually delete immediately, except for one thing. Jackson had his head turned to the side, the corner of his lip just barely turned up into a smile as he gazed at Sky.
All he’d ever wanted was to have someone look at him like that, the way his dorky dad looked at his adoring mom. It wasn’t quite the same, more a tiny sprout than a full blown blossom, but Sky could have sworn he’d just seen a similar look on Tyler’s face.