Chapter 2
CHAPTER 2
SAVANNAH HOLLINGSWORTH
I manage to slide a piece of my chocolate pie onto a clean plate without another mess. My heart is thumping loud in my ears as I turn to Noah. Am I really going to talk about this?
I take a breath. Yes. I’ve been meaning to clear the air with Noah for a long time now. Things ended badly between us, and it was my fault. I feel terrible that I’ve avoided him this long. Now that he lives next door, I know I can’t avoid him anymore.
I hesitate for a moment before forging forward. “I never apologized for what happened when we were teenagers.”
Noah’s gaze drops to the floor. “There’s no need. It’s been years now. That’s all in the past.”
I put a hand on his arm. His muscles are firm, and the heat of his skin through the fabric sears me, my fingers tingling with the touch. But I don’t remove my hand. I want him to listen to what I have to say.
“I need to tell you how sorry I am for abandoning you. There was something I was dealing with…and I couldn’t talk about it. I should have called to tell you I couldn’t go to prom. I’m sorry for dropping off the earth like that.”
His eyebrows pull together. “You didn’t go to prom with someone else?”
I let go of his arm and take a step back. “What? No.” I turn back to my pie, my throat suddenly dry. “Didn’t you go?”
“No,” he says quietly, his voice sounding hoarse.
I freeze. “Oh. I thought you…” My voice trails off, and I bite my lip. “Never mind.”
He stares at me. “You thought what?”
I pull back my emotions that threaten to rise in me. That was a long time ago. I can’t still be upset about it. I school my features. “I thought you went with Ashley,” I say as calmly as I can manage.
“Ashley Franklin? The cheerleader?” Noah genuinely sounds shocked. “Why would I have gone to prom with her?”
I turn to him, gauging his reaction. He doesn’t know what I’m talking about. Weird. Elizabeth told me he went with Ashley. How did she get it so wrong? I fiddle with the butter knife in my hand. “I guess I misunderstood.”
He rubs the back of his neck. “We’d better take these pieces of pie out to everyone. I’ll help.”
We carry the slices into the other room. Noah’s family gathers. We’re tight with seven people around the small table, but Noah put out extra chairs, so we make it work. Kiki has cute little sandwiches out for everyone. Skyler climbs on a chair and grabs two more strawberries off the fruit plate. I chuckle at her. She’s adorable.
The familiar pain in my heart makes me tear up, and I look away. I don’t want to think about how I’ll never have a child of my own. Noah wants me to help him decorate. I use that to distract myself, and I glance at his walls. Eggshell white. The previous owners probably painted it to sell the house. There’s a lot we could do, even if Noah doesn’t want to paint. The house is a blank canvas. I ponder what would fit Noah’s personality.
Kiki slides a piece of pie in my direction. “Tell me more about the photography classes you’re taking.”
Noah looks at the pie and gives me a secret smile, like we got away with something by devouring the ruined one. His dimple flashes, and I’m instantly transported back to my school days. There was a time when my universe revolved around that dimple, but everything changed the end of my senior year.
I pick up my sandwich. “The classes were online through Cornell University. I actually finished them and graduated last month.”
Noah’s smile widens. “Congratulations.”
“That’s fantastic,” Kiki says. “Does that mean you’ll be opening up a photography studio soon?”
“It’s taking me longer than I thought to get the studio ready. I didn’t realize how much space the equipment would take up, and the bedroom I thought would work isn’t large enough, so I’m having to re-consider.”
“What will you do? Rent a space?” Levi asks, running a hand through his hair, probably trying to tame the boyish curls that come out when he grows it too long. He’s got the lightest hair of all the Barrett brothers, and he’s definitely the family flirt. He even flirts with me, and I’m three years older than he is, although I know he’s not interested in me. That’s just the way he is.
I shake my head. “No. I can’t afford that. If I could knock out a wall, then I’d have the perfect space. I’m just not sure what that would cost.”
Tobias takes a sip of his drink, then points at his brother. “Noah could help you with that. There’s not much to it. He helped me knock out a couple of walls before Ellie and Josephine opened the art gallery.”
Noah nods. “Sure. It’s easy.”
“Really?” I squirm. I’ve never done any kind of remodeling. Knocking out a wall sounds scary.
“You just have to figure out if it’s a load-bearing wall or not. Blueprints should tell you that. Then you use a stud finder to figure out if there’s plumbing or electrical work inside the wall. If not, you can knock out drywall in one afternoon. Then you take out the studs.” Noah shrugs and takes a carrot from the tray. “It’s not hard at all.”
Excitement grows in me. If I can get rid of that wall, I’d have the perfect space for a studio. But I don’t want to ask Noah to do it for free. “How much would you charge me?”
He laughs. “I wouldn’t charge you. I think it sounds like a fun project.”
I bite my lip. I don’t want to take advantage of his kindness. I’m not doing this to reconnect any kind of romantic relationship. All I wanted was to clear the air. “What if we swap? I help you with your decorating, and you help me with the remodel. Will that work?”
“Sure,” Noah says. “That sounds like a great idea.”
Micah makes a face. “You’re a bachelor. You don’t need to decorate.”
Kiki laughs and snatches an apple slice. “You probably think propping a guitar in the corner is decorating.”
Micah grins. “Yeah. One guitar, and you’re done.”
Everyone laughs. Kiki looks around the dining room space that extends into the living room area. “What are you thinking of doing, Savannah?”
“Depends on what Noah wants.”
Everyone turns to look at him.
“Do you have any photos you’ve taken around the island?” Noah pops the last bite of his sandwich in his mouth. “I think island photos would be cool.”
“Not many. I’ve mostly been practicing on people.”
Kiki gets a glint in her eye. “Maybe you could go out together and get some cool photos.”
I know a date setup when I see one, but I keep my mouth shut. I feel bad about how things went down seven years ago. Maybe spending a little time with Noah wouldn’t be a bad thing. “We could do that.”
Skyler stands on her chair and reaches for her pie but slips and her hand smacks into it, sending splatters of chocolate pudding everywhere. There’s a collective gasp as pudding lands on faces and arms. Kiki jumps up. “Oh! Let me grab a washcloth.”
She runs out of the room to the kitchen. Skyler licks her fingers and gets chocolate all over her face. She even has some on her nose. I can’t help myself, and I pull out my phone to take a picture.
Everyone cracks up as Kiki walks back in and balks at all the chocolate on Sky’s face. It’s such a sweet family moment, and I once again find my chest constricting in pain. I will never have this. I can’t have children, and marriage is off the table for me. There’s no way I can put a spouse through all the financial and emotional stress that comes with the diagnosis I have.
I thought I was over feeling sorry for myself, but looking at Noah and his family brings back all the pain I thought I’d already dealt with.
I steel myself. Now is not the time to get weepy. I turn to look at Noah, who has a blob of chocolate on his cheek. It makes me giggle. “What?” he says.
“You have a little…” I motion to his cheek, but instead of wiping it, he leans close to me. Before I can think of what I’m doing, I swipe it with my index finger and lick it off.
Noah’s eyes widen, and I realize how that might look to him. Heat rushes to my face and I turn back to the table and grab a carrot. Luckily, no one else seemed to notice.
I need to keep myself in check if I’m going to spend time around Noah. I can’t fall head over heels for him like I did when I was a teen. Judging from my racing heart, that’s going to be difficult.