Chapter 13
CHAPTER 13
NOAH BARRETT
I sit at a table and pull out my phone while Savannah rings someone up at the register. I call up the boat rental app that Donald’s family runs. She’s right, that would help get the point across to good ole Donald that we’re dating.
I look at the boats for rent, but they’re all sold out for tonight. Figures. I check next weekend, just for fun. The large yacht they have is available for next Friday. I click on it to look at the details.
It’s a luxury yacht, complete with a chef and crew who will cook for your entire party. The ship holds up to 50 guests, and you can rent the whole thing overnight for $7,500.
My finger hovers over the booking button. I really want to stick it to Donald by booking the largest yacht in his fleet on an overnight trip. Obviously, Savannah and I will not sleep together. But we could eat an amazing dinner, sleep in separate cabins, and spend the next day together. To Donald, it would definitely look like Savannah’s completely off limits now.
I press the button. I want Donald to get the message loud and clear. He needs to back off. And the money is not an issue.
I fill out the online form and pay. By the time Savannah is done with her shift, the yacht is booked and a dinner menu filled out. I slip my phone in my pocket as she approaches me, a little guilt seeping through me. I did it without even asking.
She smiles at me. “Did you rent a boat?”
“They were sold out for tonight. But I did get one for next Friday.”
She giggles. “That’s perfect.” Worry etches her face, and she touches my arm. “Wait, was it expensive? I didn’t think about the cost when I suggested it. I can pay for half.”
I swallow, stalling for time so I can figure out what to say about the cost. “Don’t worry, I got it.”
“If you’re sure.”
“I’m sure.” I have no idea what I’m going to do next Friday, when she sees the yacht I booked. But that’s a problem for future Noah.
Levi comes out from the kitchen carrying plates. He nods at us as he passes by. Savannah grabs my hand and threads her fingers through mine. “Are you ready to go?”
I don’t quite know what Levi said to Savannah, but I silently thank him for it. This lovey-dovey contact with her is amazing. I smile at her. “Yes.”
We walk outside, but she doesn’t let go of my hand. “What happened?” I ask.
Savannah glances around. When she sees no one is near, she leans toward me. “I’ve come to realize we’re not exactly convincing people we’re together.”
“Levi?”
“Yes. He was asking why you weren’t coming around to see me at work, and stuff.” She cringes. “Sorry, is it okay for us to go on a date tonight? I didn’t even ask. I just realized that’s what we’d actually be doing if we were dating. Levi was probing, but it got me thinking we should act more like we’re together.”
I squeeze her hand. “I don’t mind.” Understatement of the year. I want nothing more than to spend time with Savannah.
We stop at her car. “Okay,” she says. “I’ll meet you at home. We can do something in public, so everyone sees.”
“Dinner at Sand and Sea?”
Savannah shakes her head. “I don’t want you to spend more money on this. Let’s picnic at the marina. I can throw some sandwiches together, and we can eat while we watch the ships.”
“Sure. And you can bring your camera. Take some shots for decorating my house.”
Savannah grins at me. “Great idea.”
I drive home, my thoughts racing. Savannah wants us to look more like a real couple to everyone. Apparently, this means public displays of affection, from the way she was acting inside Peachy Keen. I about lost it when she kissed my cheek. I wanted to pull her into my arms and kiss her for real. But I’ll take what I can get, and a picnic at the marina sounds like heaven to me.
I park my car and head to Savannah’s house. I ring her bell, and she lets me right in. “Can I help?” I ask after I follow her into her kitchen.
“Sure. Want to cut up some apples?” She hands me an apple slicer and a Ziplock baggie.
I grab an apple from her glass bowl of fruit and put it on a wooden cutting board. My thoughts turn to what Levi said on Sunday, during dinner. I place the slicer over the apple and press down. “Do you mind if I ask you something?”
She nods. “Go ahead.”
“Since Levi brought it up, I realized I don’t really know what I did to make you mad enough to ghost me at prom. I know you didn’t want to talk about it with Levi, but do you mind telling me? I mean, I am the one involved.”
Savannah stills, and I wait as the seconds tick by. Finally, she speaks. “I wasn’t mad at you, Noah. I told you, I was dealing with something.”
I stare at her, not understanding. “What were you dealing with?”
She sighs. “It’s in the past.”
Now I’m more confused than ever. And frustrated. “I don’t want to pry, Savannah. I just think I deserve an explanation. It’s been years. I’m not still upset, if that’s what you’re worried about. You won’t hurt my feelings, either. If I said something wrong, or hurt you in some way, I feel like you should tell me.”
“I got sick.” She doesn’t look at me, she just continues to make sandwiches.
I gape at her. “You got sick? That’s all? Why didn’t you tell me ? I would have understood that. You stopped taking my calls. You didn’t want to see me. What was I supposed to think?”
Savannah wipes at her cheek, and I realize she’s crying. My heart jumps into my throat. What exactly happened all those years ago? She turns to me, her emotions clear on her face. “No. I got sick .”
Her words send a dagger through me. All kinds of terrible things jump into my mind, and I drop the apple slicer to face her. “Savannah,” I choke out, my heart in my throat. “I’m so sorry.”
She wipes at a tear and sniffs. “It’s okay.”
“No, it’s not. I didn’t know. I wouldn’t have been so upset with you. I would have understood and done what I could to be there for you.” I swallow, a dark feeling creeping over me. “What was it?” I ask, my voice low.
She shakes her head. “It doesn’t matter,” she says quietly.
I put my hands on the counter behind me and I grip the edge. “It matters to me.”
She’s silent for so long, I worry I’m pushing too far. But I want us to have a close relationship. I tentatively take a step toward her. I reach up and tuck a lock of her hair behind her ear. “Won’t you tell me?”
She avoids my gaze. “It’s not something I talk about.”
Invisible walls shoot up between us, and I feel like she just socked me in the stomach. It’s clear that she doesn’t want the kind of relationship that I want. I drop my hand and step back, too hurt not to show it. “Oh.”
She reaches out to me and grabs my arm. “I’m sorry. That sounded rude. I didn’t mean it to be.”
I back away from her. “No, it’s my fault. I forgot. We’re not really dating. You don’t have to tell me.”
Savannah’s expression turns stricken. “Noah, I?—”
“No. Don’t say it.” I turn and scoop up the apple slices, putting them into the Ziplock baggie. Savannah’s been clear with me. I’m the dolt that keeps thinking we can be close. I just need to remember she doesn’t feel that way toward me.
My movements are stilted as I zip the baggie shut and work on cleaning up my area. I thought spending time with Savannah was going to be the answer, but now, all I want to do is go home and sulk.
“It was cancer,” she says quietly behind me.
I whip around, too stunned to speak.
Savannah takes in a deep breath, her hands on her face. “I was just seventeen.”
My throat closes and all I can think of is how devastated Savannah must have been, and how I wasn’t there for her, in her greatest time of need. I want to pull her into my arms, but I don’t want to be too aggressive. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
She shakes her head as more tears spring to her eyes. “My family is extremely private. I was told not to say anything to anyone.”
I swear under my breath. “You went through that alone?”
Savannah wipes her cheeks. “My parents knew, but yeah.”
I shake my head. “That’s too much for a seventeen-year-old.”
“I didn’t mean to cut you out of my life, then or now. I’m so sorry. I don’t want to push you away.”
Her words send a wave of happiness through me. She doesn’t want the distance between us. I open my arms, and she comes to me, placing her head on my chest. I hug her close, my emotions swirling inside of me. “I can’t imagine what you went through.”
Savannah looks up at me and bites her lip. “I’ve never told anyone about the cancer,” she whispers.
“No one? Ever?”
She shakes her head. “You’re the first person I’ve told.”
My heart breaks for her, and I cup her cheek, catching a tear on my thumb. She looks so frail right now. “Thank you for telling me.”
I hug her tightly, my heart squeezing in my chest. She told me something she’s never told anyone else. That means a lot to me. We stand in her kitchen for a long time, neither of us moving.
Finally, she pulls back and says, “You’re a good friend, Noah.”
My tongue is like sandpaper, and I can’t swallow, my mouth is so dry. Friend. That’s how she sees me.
I slowly nod. “You, too, Savannah.”
She steps away and goes back to the sandwiches. “Let’s get this picnic ready. It’s time for phase two.”
“Phase two?”
“We need more public displays of affection, for people to believe we’re really dating.”
I stare at her, my feet frozen to the kitchen flooring. I suspected that from how she acted in Peachy Keen, but how can she say it so casually like that? Like it’s a business arrangement. How am I supposed to hold her…maybe kiss her…in public and then go back home to sit in my cold house alone?
She looks at me, because I haven’t moved a muscle since she spoke. “Are you okay with that? Am I asking too much?”
“No.” I clear my throat. “I mean, that’s fine.” I can be affectionate to get Donald off her back. I don’t want Donald anywhere near her.
If she needs me to hold her hand, hug her, or even kiss her in public, I can do that. Even if it breaks my heart.