Chapter 35
CHAPTER 35
NOAH BARRETT
I spread out a blanket on the grass. Savannah and I are at Centennial Park, which is a great location to view the fireworks. The sun has already set, and they’ll start the show soon. The grass is dotted with families and couples here to enjoy the fireworks.
I plop the bag of snacks I brought down on the blanket and motion to Savannah to join me. We sit down and I scoot next to her. “This is a great view.”
She nods. “You picked well.”
“What do you like most about the Fourth of July?” I ask, trying to keep the conversation going.
“I love celebrating our country’s freedom. My freedom. When I think about what our forefathers did so I can have the life I do, I get emotional. It’s so nice to have a day to remember why people fought and died for our freedom.”
I riffle through the sack and pull out a bag of Twizzlers. I rip it open and motion. “Do you want one?”
“Sure.”
I dig one out and hand it to her. Then I pull one out for myself. “I love our freedom, too. This country isn’t perfect. The people aren’t perfect, and the government is far from perfect. But I love that we are founded on principles of democracy.”
A family nearby sits down on their blanket, a two-year-old toddling around them. The mother reaches out and pulls her child to her. “That’s so sweet,” I say.
Savannah, nods, but she doesn’t say anything. She’s been quiet today, and that concerns me. My fingers slide over her hand. “Are you okay?”
“I’m just feeling quite humbled.” She blinks back emotion. “Your family came to my rescue today. Without compensation, or coercion, they just came and helped. It was amazing.”
“They care about you.”
Her face flushes. “I don’t know why. We’re lying to them. We’re not really dating.”
Her words send a dagger through my heart. I had thought we were now really dating. I slide even closer to her, putting my arm around her. “Then let’s stop fake dating,” I say softly.
She looks up at me, her tears barely holding back. “You want to break up?”
“No. I want to date for real.” I lean down and capture her lips in mine. I kiss her slowly. Tenderly. When I pull back, she has tears running down her cheeks, and I don’t understand. “Did I upset you?”
“No.” She looks away.
I wasn’t expecting this to be very difficult. Savannah has been acting like she has feelings for me for the past several weeks. I’m confused, and I want clarification from her, even if it will kill me. “Do you not want to date me?” I ask quietly.
She wipes at her cheeks. “I like you, Noah.”
Oh, this can’t be good. My heart sinks down to my toes, and I have trouble breathing. “But…” I say, knowing there’s something more coming and I won’t like it.
A firework shoots off and explodes over the water. Savannah motions. “Let’s talk about this later.”
My world crashes around me, and I pull back from Savannah. This is worse than I thought. She’s going to have “the talk” with me. We weren’t even dating, according to her. Our fake dating is going to end with a very real breakup, and that’s going to happen tonight.
Savannah closes the gap between us and snuggles her back into my chest. “Please, can we have this one night?”
My pain is too deep for me to even comprehend what she’s doing right now. “I don’t understand.”
“Let’s pretend. Just for tonight,” she whispers as she wipes more tears from her cheeks. She picks up my hand and slides her fingers through.
I’m puzzled by her behavior, but the fact that she’s not physically running away from me gives me hope, so I pull her tightly to me. “All right.”
As we watch the fireworks, her fingers lightly trace over the skin on my arm. I nuzzle my face into her neck and lightly kiss her warm skin. She responds by turning around and pressing her lips to mine.
As everyone watches the sky, I explore Savannah’s lips. If she’s kissing me, then I must have misunderstood her earlier statements. I must have things all wrong. I wrap my arms around her, pulling her closer.
Savannah slides onto my lap and threads her fingers through my hair. I kiss her with all the emotions I’m feeling for her. I love her, and I want her to know it. I’m ready to say it to her. I’m ready to give her everything. I don’t want to hold back anymore. I’m also not afraid anymore. If I don’t tell her how I’m feeling, I’m going to lose her, I can tell.
When we break away, she snuggles into my chest. I hold her to me, unsure of what’s going to happen. All I know is I need her with me. She makes my heartbeat. She gives me life. I was lost all those years without her, and I can’t lose her again.
We watch the fireworks until all of them have exploded, and the smoke has cleared the air. People around us are packing up their things and leaving, but I don’t want to let go of Savannah yet, and she hasn’t made any kind of move to stand up either. We just sit there together, with her curled up in my arms.
I wait until the last of the people have left the park before softly stroking her hair. “Savannah?”
Finally, she disengages from me and looks up at me. “We should go,” she says softly. I can see the sadness in her eyes.
I suddenly want to know exactly what is going on. I want Savannah to tell me how she feels about me, after listening to me tell her everything. “Can we talk first?”
“Let’s talk at your house.” She stands and picks up the snack bag.
“All right,” I say, not wanting to argue with her.
As I drive to my home a sinking feeling seeps into my stomach. I don’t know what she’s going to say, but I have a terrible feeling I won’t like it.