5. Chapter 5
Chapter 5
Vi
The Sotomayor executive floor boasted a small gym for us to use. Alone there that morning, I put all of my doubts and frustrations onto the treadmill. A faster pace and a higher inclination had my heart working hard enough to please my mood.
It had been a few days since my dad and brother had announced the plan changes. To think that Jake would be at my same level within a couple of months fueled my strides. When I believed the transition plan would take at least another year, it was easier to decide against waiting for him. Knowing it would only be a couple of months, it got a bit harder.
Harder still, when Jake himself entered the gym wearing athletic clothes and looking huge and amazing. I gazed at him through the mirror in front of me while I kept my pace on the treadmill. He stilled by the door, his eyes meeting mine in our reflection.
If he stayed, he broke the unspoken rule of not spending time alone together. If he left without a good excuse, well, that would make him rude. And we needed to get used to spending more time together, anyway, since we were paired up for party planning.
A teasing smile appeared on my lips. Jake wasn't a rude guy, and I was sure he'd reached the same conclusions. I knew he would stay even before he closed the door behind him.
He gave me a nod hello. "I didn't know you would be here. Do you mind if I join you?"
"I don't mind," I panted. "Go right ahead."
He nodded again, dropped his gym bag on the floor, and hung his suit bag from the hook on the wall next to my own set; he found a spot on the big exercise mat to warm up.
The gym was relatively small. Only two treadmills, one rowing machine, a yoga ball and other mobility aids, and a bunch of different weight and strength training implements filled the room. A big window shone light on us from one side and, at the other, two doors led to two private showers.
My ponytail swung wide from side to side in the mirror occupying the front wall, and I tried to focus on that rather than on Jake. Only five minutes left of my run; I could do it.
I couldn't. My gaze kept on finding Jake on the reflection, following his movements, and tracing the lines of him with my sight. His wide shoulders and thick arms; his lineman physique. The clothes that showcased the large, soft shape of him. Unhidden, just like I preferred for myself, too. I liked the idea of us, two confident big people, exercising together. Doing many different types of cardio.
The treadmill beeped the end of the active portion, announcing the cool down period. I adjusted my pace to the new speed, and used the opportunity to bring down the heat at every level. My muscles needed to settle, but so did my heart. Even if the new transition plan meant I wouldn't have to wait for more than a year to have answers, it didn't mean things had changed in my favor.
I grabbed the towel hanging from the treadmill's arm and dried the sweat off my neck. My breathing still ran fast, even though my walk slowed down faster. Soon it would be time to stretch.
The clank of barbells drew my attention. Jake had moved to the weight-lifting area.
"I thought you preferred swimming." I stopped the treadmill and put my feet on the sidelines, giving myself some extra recovery time.
"I do," he replied, "but my trainer suggested I take a break and do some dry exercising for a while."
I nodded, put the towel around my neck, and took over the mat. "Congratulations, by the way. I don't think I had personally said anything to you about your promotion."
I started my stretch routine with simple waist twists and arm arches. He sat on a bench, doing concentration curls with heavy dumbbells.
"You don't have to, but thanks," he said.
"It's a pretty big deal."
I dropped into a kneeling hip flexor position, and kept my eyes on him.
He looked right back. "If I remember correctly, you didn't make a big deal of it either, two and a half years ago when you became a VP."
I shrugged and changed legs for my stretch. "Oh, but this isn't about me, is it? I'm making it about you."
He chuckled. "I see. You're telling me I shouldn't call a kettle black."
We were relatively close. The bench he sat on was right by the mat, and if I wanted to touch him, all I had to do was reach with an arm.
I wanted to, but I shouldn't, so I didn't.
He changed arms with his dumbbell. I sat fully on the floor and stretched my hamstrings.
"I just think that calling me out is not very gentlemanly, you know?" I teased, letting a grin take over my face.
He shook his head with a gesture full of humor, but his eyes dropped to my smile. "You're lucky I know you're joking. You have too much integrity to mean that, don't you?"
"Oh, you remember?" I said. "It's been a while since we, you know… bantered."
His eyes lifted to mine, and he gazed into me as if he were also testing the new boundaries of how we treated each other.
Between his promotion and the car audio smut, maybe some things could change. There were more options than a binary between restrained politeness and coupledom forever.
He smirked. "We can banter, but I draw a line at listening to your audiobooks together while we work out."
I laughed. "Why? It's a great motivator. It makes me run faster."
He placed the dumbbell on the floor, and shook the arm he'd been exercising. "Then why weren't you listening to it when I came in?"
"I forgot to charge my headphones, but I'll make sure to let you know when I'm too focused on my book to chat with you. If you plan to keep using the gym in the morning?"
I crossed my legs and leaned back on the mat, pretending the answer wasn't a big deal.
Jake leaned forward, elbows on his knees. He studied me closely, and a flutter of wings walked up my chest.
"You said you missed laughing together." He pursed his lips. "I didn't mean to hold back on how easy things used to be between us, when I pulled away. I'm sorry."
I gave him a slow nod. "I understand why you did. I should be thankful. It really put things into perspective."
"That's what I hoped. But chances are we're always going to be in each other's lives. Especially in the months to come." He shrugged and reached for two dumbbells this time. "It would be nice for things to feel easy between us again."
He began a new set of curls, and I pretended not to notice the way it made his arms and shoulder muscles pop.
"Now that you mention it, we need to start talking about venues. I'll text you some links."
"Venue before decorations, right?" He lifted his eyes to me. "I think that's how it makes sense."
I stood, not to lean forward and gaze deep into the gray-blue of his gaze. Most people in my life had gorgeous brown eyes, but Jake's were different. I wanted to study them and know them as well as I knew and loved my own. Find the right shade of them and get a dress in that color. But I couldn't.
Funny that Javier, another of my brother's best friends, had blue eyes and I couldn't care less about figuring out their exact shade.
I went for my bags. "We also need to start thinking about guest lists. Should we reach out to some of the people that were there for their wedding in Chile? I bet they would love that."
"If you remember any of the names, I think it's a great idea. We should bring Tío Raul's brother and Tía Sonia's siblings, too. Maybe some of your cousins. You haven't seen them in ages."
I nodded and approached one of the washrooms. "I'll figure it out. Enjoy your workout."
It was the best I could do to appear neutral about Jake.
Alone in the shower room, I set up everything to get ready for the day. I undressed efficiently, ignoring the fact Jake was at the other side of the door.
Despite him wanting things to be easy between us again, it was too little a step. I couldn't let it change my mind about the future I used to wish for us.
I had moved on from every single boyfriend that didn't measure up to the love I wanted for myself. I had to believe I could move on from Jake, too.
But then, why did I carry this flame for so long?