23. Chapter 23
Chapter 23
Vi
We slept in on our only full day away. After deliciously lazy sex, we went out for brunch and then for a walk down the town's main street. Old trees lined the avenue, and shops with freshly updated storefronts kept us entertained.
Hand-in-hand, we entered a shop full of knick-knacks and other souvenirs. Shelves were stock-full of little ceramic collectibles, fridge magnets, keychains, and bottle openers.
"Caesura," I said, trying out the word. Seshura — a sudden stop in music. "That's the word we'll use?"
"You said we should come up with a musical word." He arched an eyebrow at me. "And it's weird enough we wouldn't naturally say it in the middle of things otherwise."
"Yeah, it's totally unsexy." I took a candle from a shelf and smelled it.
Jake chuckled. "Then it's a good word, and we need a good word."
The candle wasn't to my taste and I put it back. Jake leaned into my ear and a shiver went down my spine at the mere hint of his breath on my skin. I clung to the shelf under my hands.
His voice was a warm caress on the shell of my ear. "If you're going to be bratty, I may need to put you in your place, and it might be too much for you to handle. You have to have options."
I shifted until we were nose to nose, my head flirtily over my shoulder. He stayed close.
"What if it's me in the mood to make that cocky smile falter?" I asked. "When I decide I want you to shatter, it might be you who needs an emergency brake."
"Mmh." The kiss he gave me was quick, in deference to the public space we were in, and yet he managed to infuse a playful threat into it. "We'll see."
Before I forgot we were out and about, I turned away and let the wares around me rescue us. Lucky for us, my eyes landed on the wall of clothing stacking up one side of the store.
"Oh, I know what I want." I pulled from Jake's hand until we reached the gray piece that had caught my attention. "This hoodie is perfect."
It was big and cozy, and made in a thick material. It had a wonderful print of horses on the chest, following the local motif, and with the town's name embroidered across it.
"You will look adorable in it," Jake said. "Let me get it for you."
"No, you misunderstand." I searched the hoodies for the largest size available; plus sizes were hard to find in these types of stores. "I want it for you. I might borrow it sometimes, but it's not the same if it's not your hoodie to begin with."
"Oh, I see." He watched me with humor in his features. "You'll give it to me only to take possession at a later day."
"Occasionally, I said. It's still yours."
"We'll see, but all right. I'll get it."
I found a big one and offered it to Jake. "No, it's my gift. Please."
"Let's see if it fits before we argue about it."
It fit, and I won the argument, mostly because Jake really had a hard time denying me anything.
"It's not fair," he said later. "It's hard to find things I think you will like in places like this."
We walked down the street eating artisanal ice cream. The bag with his new hoodie hung from his wrist while we held hands.
"It's okay." I squeezed his hand. "Keep your eyes peeled for anything unique with violets— I collect those for obvious reasons. If not, we'll find something else. It's fine."
"No, I really want to find something that will remind you of this weekend."
I licked from my delicious dark chocolate and whisky ice cream. "I will remember, memento or not, Jake."
"Still. Just like I will remember when I'm wearing the hoodie, or you borrow it."
He came to an abrupt stop by a small storefront. It drew my attention to the window, where a painted sign announced they specialized in glass and stonework - from home décor to unique jewelry pieces, from the look of the street-facing display.
"Oh, let's see here," he said.
We didn't have much ice cream left, and we finished it before going inside. Jake and I walked through the narrow passages, gazing at all the details in the small shop. The store cast light into every corner, with strategically placed sconces, lamps, and hanging fixtures. Glinting objects of all kinds sat on shelves and display tables; from crystal cocktail glass collections to colored glass vases, polished and unpolished stones in wooden containers, and jewelry in distinctive showcases.
"If we don't find anything that looks like a violet," Jake said, "it could be something in the right shade of purple, perhaps?"
I stared at one of the jewelry displays. "What about a ring?"
He didn't immediately reply. "You want a ring?"
I cut a glance at him. He stared at me with a spark of mischief in his eyes.
He arched an eyebrow. "Would you like me to get you a ring?"
I laughed. "Not that kind of ring yet, big guy. We probably should count at least a few months together and one fight before we decide yes, we're it for each other."
"We need to fight?" He put his hands on my waist and turned me to him.
Surrounded by precious materials, some as ancient as Earth's core, I gazed at the man I had adored for years and looked at a future with him.
"Of course." I grinned at him and placed my hands on his chest. "I know the past twenty-four hours have been incredible, but it can't all be bliss. What if we're not good at making it better after a fight? We can't have that kind of fragility in our lives, if this is love."
"Not fighting is fragility, huh?" He lifted a hand to my face.
"Yes. Good fights set the course straight. A love that can't weather a little storm may not be love at all."
He frowned, thoughts passing behind his eyes like clouds. Yet a small smile turned one of the corners of his lips up.
"I'll fight with you one day, then." He kissed my forehead, then my lips. "Just to shake things up and test your theory."
"It has to be a good fight, though." I surrounded his waist with my arms. "A productive verbal scuffle that resolves fast. Should we practice and see what happens?"
He chuckled and kissed my cheek. "Nah. The right time will come." He took my hand and led me to a tray full of rings. "Now let's see which one you'd like."
"If it's a ring, it's got to be unique. Remember that!"
A salesperson approached us. "May I help you? I think I heard mention of a ring. We do custom pieces, if you’re interested."
"Not today, but can I see this ring right here?" I pointed at a silver piece with two round amethysts.
It only fit on my pinky.
"Oh, that's disappointing," I said.
"Do you have any amethyst rings in bigger sizes?" Jake asked.
"I can show you some other rings and check the sizing."
We moved through the space, looking at rings and the options the salesperson offered. We found one ring I loved that almost fit; I stared at it on my right hand, digging into my ring finger.
It had four stones in a mild haphazard design, skewed on the band in a very appealing, modern take with a hint of art deco. The band seemed like vintage gold, giving the piece an old-but-new look.
"I can see that you like it." Jake took my hand and lifted it to him, as if he were going to kiss it, but studied the ring instead. "If you do custom jewelry, you do resizing, right?"
"Yes, we can do that. We can ship it to you in a couple of weeks."
"You want it." Jake smiled at me. "Let's take it, then."
I gave him a quick kiss. "Thank you."
I took the ring off and gave it to the salesperson. They proceeded to measure my ring size and write it down alongside my name and address.
"We should also look for something else you can take today." Jake took my hand. "Maybe a pendant or something else?"
"You don't have to do that. I'm happy to wait for my ring."
"I know I don't have to. I want to. I've watched you through the years; I know how giving you can be. I want to do that for you, too. Besides, I'm sure it's what a book boyfriend would do. So let me be a book boyfriend for you, okay?"
I grinned. "You also don't have to compete with the heroes in my books, just so you know."
"Oh, but I will. And I'll win."
That made me laugh. "You won't catch me discouraging you."
"Come on. Let's find something else."
We found a two-layered necklace, with a round pendant with a roughly cut stone, and a small version of it on the layer above it.
I didn't argue when Jake paid for it all.
"You two are so cute," the salesperson said. "Do you come to town often?"
"This is our first time," I replied. "It's been lovely."
"It's the first time I feel like I'm taking her on a proper date, too." He smiled at the person helping us. "We didn't get a chance for a proper outing like this back at home."
And it was a delightful discovery. From the lazy morning to walking around in public with Jake— it showed me what being with him could be like. No thoughts spared to having to keep it private. Simply him and I, having a sweet day together.
When we were ready to tell people, this is what we could have, but at home. With family and friends who would hopefully make no fuss about us, and would take it in stride.
Jake put away his wallet. "I'll take your card, too, just in case."
The salesperson added the card to the bag holding my new necklace, alongside our copies of the resizing order and receipts.
Jake took the new bag alongside his hoodie on one hand, and took mine with the other.
"I hope you have a lovely stay," the person said. "The way you look at each other, I'm sure you have many years ahead of you. Perhaps you'll come back."
"Thank you." I smiled at them, then at Jake. "Maybe we will."
This person wasn't the first to comment on how Jake and I gazed at each other. Even in that very moment, his eyes were steady on me, open, warm. There was longing and tenderness in the power of his stare.
It echoed inside of me with glittering pecks of gold.
Later, when we continued to walk hand-in-hand, those gleaming waves remained. Feeling like that, it was easy to believe that we could really find love with each other, and make it last.
My ankles were on Jake's shoulders, my knees almost to my breasts as he fucked me hard. His gray-blue eyes were dark and wild as he stared at me, taking in every twitch on my face. Savoring every noise I made.
I showed him what I felt in total abandon. Whatever shape my lips took, or the number of whimpers escaping my throat; it all resulted from pleasure so intense, it erased every thought or attempt at decorum.
Not that I needed to hide it. He seemed to like it. Anything I did spurred him on.
"So good, Jake." I moaned. "You're ruining me for everyone else."
"Good." He dropped my legs together to one side and bent down for a rough kiss. "I don't ever want you thinking of anyone else."
"Ever?" I closed my eyes when he changed the angle of his hips and hit a different spot inside. "Oh god."
My head rolled to the side.
"Look at me." His fingers clamped my jaw and he pulled my head up again.
I gazed at him again, my brows furrowing with the effort of it. He quickened his pace and my chest stirred, and my lower belly liquified, by the building climax rather than the motion.
Even in the dark room, I felt like the burning star between my lungs kept everything alight.
It shone on his temples and in his intense eyes. It glinted on his shoulders, bulging from holding his torso up and holding my face in place.
"Never think of anyone else when I'm with you." His voice came out heavy and rough. "Especially when I'm inside you."
"Yes, Jake." I grabbed his forearm with two hands, clinging to it as an anchor. "I never do."
"Fuck." He pulled away, took one leg and swung it to the other side so he could climb on top of me.
He came down between my legs, his belly on my tummy, his chest on mine. One of his forearms landed on my neck. His cock filled me up in the next second.
He kissed me again, his hips pumping into me. I was thoroughly pinned into the bed. The weight of him had my bones turning to malleable wax. My muscles were just as pliable. Jake could do anything he wanted, and it had me at the edge.
"Yes," I whimpered.
He didn't respond to that.
He stared me down, the fervor on his face intensifying. "It's wrong to want you to be mine… but if it's wrong, it's the only thing that feels right."
"It's good. It feels good."
"How good?"
"Amazing."
"Then come for me, Vi."
Like his words were a spell, every muscle I possessed spasmed, and my blood rushed in my ears to the point my whole brain buzzed. I lost sight of everything in front of me.
It didn't move Jake, who continued to thrust into me relentlessly.
I came back to myself with a gasp and a moan.
"Shit. Yes," he said. "Like that."
My hands clung to his biceps, and I surrounded his hips with my legs.
"Do you like having me at your mercy?" I asked. "Having me come at your command?"
"Yes," he groaned.
"Then keep me subdued until you come."
"Fuck, Vi."
"Overpower me." The words came out with effort from his arm on my throat. "Have your way with me."
"Violeta—" he grunted, his hips becoming erratic. He moaned.
"Fuck yes." I dug my fingers into the muscle of his arm. It softened as he came down from his orgasm.
His sight turned clear again. He removed his forearm from my throat and kissed me.
"Are you okay?" he asked. "Did I overdo it?"
"I loved it." I ran a hand over his face. "I hope you do it again sometime."
He smiled and left me, dropping on his back by my side. He quietly disposed of the condom, before I found a spot for my head on his shoulder. I snuggled up to him, a leg over one his, and my hand on his chest.
Once I heard that true love feels like peace. If that was true, I had never been closer to it than in that moment.
"This also feels good." His words rumbled under my ear. "You feel good close to me like this."
"If this is what being together feels like, then I want it to last for a long time."
He caressed my back with lazy circles on my skin. "I want it to last, too."
"I'm glad we agree. Imagine how awkward it would be otherwise…"
"Very awkward." He chuckled. "So now we wait for an argument, right? Then see if we're ready to lay our cards on the table."
"Yeah, that's probably the right order of things. It just needs to be a bit of a difficult time. Something to overcome, you know? If we're good together, it won't change things. Though I wouldn't be opposed to hearing you sing sometime soon, too. In case it adds important information to the mix."
"As in, if my music is no good, then it might make you change your mind? I didn't expect it to be a deal breaker the way you're making the fight sound."
He squeezed the flesh under his hand to highlight his teasing.
"No," I laughed. "I'm just trying to find a way you will share your music with me."
He didn't respond right away, but his hand returned to the lazy circles he had been making on my skin.
With his free hand, he reached for the device he had left on the bedside table more than an hour before.
"I've never done this." He scrolled on his phone. "You are the first."
My heart beat fast. I loved the idea that he would show me his music, but it also felt like a big responsibility. The way I reacted would probably be particularly important to him.
"I'm going to show you one of the instrumental songs that I have on my phone." His finger hovered over the screen.
I held still, not wanting to do anything that might spook him.
He pressed play, and a few guitar notes filled the space. It started with a simple harmony; the section repeated, but accompanied by bass and gentle beats. It had a depth to it, and there was an effect I didn't recognize but made it sound multilayered.
"I don't know enough about the craft to describe what I'm hearing," I whispered, "but I like it."
"Keep listening. This is a draft for a song I'm writing; this version is missing the lyrics."
"Like a karaoke song? Just the melody?"
He nodded. "It's not the final version, but it's getting there."
We quieted as the music continued. There was a hint of sadness to it too; it intensified when his voice added another layer.
I'm not, I'm not , it said, and it echoed a few times.
On and on and on came later, on a passage just like the one before.
In gold, in gold were the last words, in a double echo, making it sound like a dream.
The music didn't fade; it ended with purpose. It left silence between us, letting me hear my own heart— it mirrored the pace of the song.
Still naked and snuggled up in bed, a rare ache feathered against my breastbone. It was the longing in the music he'd shared, binding itself to my marrow.
"Do you have the lyrics yet?"
He chuckled. "First, you're supposed to tell me if you like it."
I smiled and lifted myself to my elbow. With a hand on his chest, I made a path all the way to his beard. I ran the pad of two fingers over his eyebrow and a high cheek.
"It was beautiful." I dropped a kiss on his cheek, then his lips. "It was haunting, yet romantic. Thank you for showing me."
The corners of his lips turned up. "It seemed fair, since the song is about you."
My jaw dropped. "What?"
He nodded. "Yep. It's about you."
"Like— the lyrics too? Or just the music?"
"All of it."
"You have to share the lyrics! I need to know how you write about me."
"I will soon. For now I'm happy to leave you in suspense."
I laughed in disbelief. "You have an evil side, it seems. I don't enjoy being left on read like this."
He chuckled and pulled me in for a kiss. "You can take it."
"I can take many things but, this one? Just cruel, Jake Stewart."
"You want to hear the song that badly?"
"Of course!"
"What if I told you I've written many songs for you?"
"Let me guess. You're going to tease me about those too?"
He grinned. "Of course."
"Unbelievable!"
I tried to make distance between us, pretending indignation, but he saw right through me. My smile might have had something to do with it.
Rather than letting me go, he followed, and we ended up rolling in bed. Now on top of me, he kissed me.
"I'll show you more music soon," he said. "I promise."
"Good. I don't mean to pressure you with the music thing, but knowing there's music you wrote about me? I can't wait for that look into your brain."
He hadn't stopped smiling, and his lips softened at my words.
He gazed at me with adoration. "A look into my heart, you mean."
My own heart skipped a beat, and the weight of him and everything we shared in that moment had me feeling light and at peace, for some reason.
"Yeah." I put my hands on his face. "Your heart seems like a good place to go into."
And we smiled, and we kissed, and we ended up embracing each other again. A hug like those I'd craved for years, lasting enough it taught something to my body. Having sex seemed different in that moment, and we did it slowly, taking every second in.
When we returned home the next day, we did so full of memories.
My heart in particular, it had a new rhythm.
It was music of its own.