29. Chapter 29
Chapter 29
Vi
Andrew's latest attempt had completely disappeared from my mind by the time open mic night came around.
My driver dropped me off at the karaoke bar's curb, and I skipped inside with my heart in my throat. That was the night I got to hear Jake sing live, and eagerness electrified every nerve ending I possessed.
Jake and I had agreed to meet fifteen minutes before Lina and Gabe were supposed to arrive. It gave us a tiny bit of privacy, right after the place opened but before people crowded us. I had made it five minutes earlier than expected, and yet I found Jake scrunched over a high table.
I came to a sudden stop. His leg shook; he had crossed his arms over the table and his head hung low. Most of what I could see was his reddish-blond hair, and his big shoulders pulled up to his ears.
As much as I craved the moment his voice filled every corner of the room, it was the mellow embrace of my devotion for him that flashed forward.
I walked to him slowly, the wings of my feelings wrapping around my ribcage. "I wish I could take this weight off your shoulders. I can take my stomach in knots for you, but you? I wish you could simply enjoy this tonight."
Jake lifted his head at the sound of my voice. His eyes were closed, but a small smile hid in the corner of his mouth.
His light eyelashes fluttered open. His eyes looked a dark gray in the faint light of the venue.
"I'll manage." He glanced to the door, before putting a warm hand on my face and stealing a kiss. "But I'm sure as hell glad you're here."
He retreated. With Gabe being on his way to us, we couldn't risk much more than we already had.
I sighed. "I have something to show you while we're alone."
I wore a button-down long blouse; one of my favorites, made with a silky lilac material whose softness contrasted with the masculine collar. I slid my hands down my front, unbuttoning fast.
"What on earth are you doing?" Jake asked.
I smiled and pulled the side panels away, to reveal the tank top I'd had done especially for the occasion. It tucked away in my tight jeans, but it showcased the design I'd gotten printed on it.
Jake Stewart's #1 Fan First Fan – Music Edition Fun Club President between the final preparations for the party, making sure all guests flying in were taken care of, having to make time to spend with the family visiting for the occasion, and having my mentorship luncheon only thirty hours away on Sunday, the open mic night was our last real chance to simply spend some time together to relax.
Jake and I exchanged glances.
Lina's mouth pressed into a serious line. "When are you going to tell people that you're together?"
Jake crossed his arms. The gesture somehow made him look bigger.
People exclaimed in excitement at a table nearby, cheering for reasons we would never know. The karaoke bar staff milled about the stage, preparing the set up for the activities supposed to start some time later.
Jake stared at Lina and licked his bottom lip. "Have you told Gabe?"
"No." She rolled her eyes. "But it's hard to keep this private for you two. Gabe has asked me twice what's on my mind and I don't know how long I can go without worrying him about this thing he knows I'm not sharing. And what are you going to do at the party? Everyone happy and celebrating and you two standing at opposite ends of the room?"
"I told you, Lina." I crossed my legs under the table. "We wanted to wait a bit longer."
"Are you going to break up?" she asked.
Jake frowned. "No. Of course not."
"Not planning to, no," I added. "In fact, we made it official."
"You haven't asked for advice, but I'm going to give it anyway," Lina said. "You can't keep waiting. The next person that finds out could not react as graciously as I have."
"Which is exactly what we're worried about." Jake's voice lowered, but it kept its serious tone. "Don't you see?"
I squirmed in my seat. It was the same argument I had made to Jake. I had also told him we'd wait a bit longer… but how long was too long?
At what point were we making choices we knew could hurt us, not caring enough to do things right?
Crap. That was the kind of mistake that was hard to come back from.
"What do you think Gabe is going to say?" Jake asked.
Lina crossed her arms as well. "To be honest? I think he'll be happy for you."
I leaned forward. "You think? And my parents?"
"I don't know." She shrugged. "But I doubt they'd be angry. They love you— that's a plural you, Jake. And if this is working between the two of you, it can only get better if you're free to do it in public. This will change some dynamics, but it's time to face it. The time to worry about breaking up is over. The time to start worrying about hurting them with your secret has come."
I gazed at Jake. "We can't afford to be making big mistakes like that."
"Yeah. I don't like being scolded like this, but Lina's right." Jake frowned again in her direction, but there was humor in the line of his lips. "We will talk about it, but it has to be our decision."
Lina nodded. "Of course. I just want to see you two happy. For everyone to share that happiness with you."
"What happened?" Gabe showed up at the table. He kissed Lina. "What are we celebrating?"
"Hey Gabe." Jake gazed sheepishly at the table. "Thanks for coming. I'm seventh on the list, so we won't have to wait that long. Maybe an hour until my turn."
"Oh, okay. That's good! How are you feeling?"
"I think I'm ready." Jake stole a last glance at me. "I will be ready for everything. I have to be."
We settled into waiting. I asked Lina about her cousin Lucía and how she was doing after the engagement break up, and Gabe told us about losing in his soccer tournament again. All the while, I kept Lina's advice on a shelf in my mind.
I needed to look at it, inspect it, figure out what I wanted to tell Jake about it when we got a chance to talk. Of all the things Jake and I had been through to get to this point, this was another hurdle to jump, and I wanted to do it right.
Making mistakes with Jake wouldn't result in a shrug. They wouldn't feel like a small bump. They would tear me apart.
We didn't have as much time as I thought, and we needed to fix it stat.
The sixth singer of the night was mid-chorus, and I wanted her to rush as much as I wanted her to stall. My stomach churned with nerves and even though I had told Jake I could take it, I didn't like it one bit.
He had been called to the tiny backstage to prepare, and I hadn't been able to do more than give him a quick squeeze of the forearm. He'd given me a quick smile in thanks, while Gabe said the words I wish I could say.
We love you. We love this for you. Go out there and enjoy it.
Jake and I hadn't really used the word love a lot, but I was glad Gabe could say it for us until Jake and I were ready for it. Maybe that would happen soon, because even if for years I'd wondered what true love felt like, it was hard to imagine that what I felt for Jake didn't fit into that slot somehow.
The singer on stage finished the song, a poppy melody ending with her asking everyone to join her with clapping; with the music now over, the clapping turned into applause. She bowed with a big smile, and went back into the backstage.
The lights went off, allowing for staff to move the stool to center stage, lower the microphone, and set up the guitar next to it. Blood rushed in my ears, and I took several breaths to calm it down.
People still chatted on their tables when Jake took to the stage. Just like the first time we'd been to the karaoke bar, he showed no signs of anxiety. Whatever he did to keep his worry under wraps, I wanted some of it.
"He's going to be so good," Gabe said. "I know it."
I nodded vehemently at my brother. He didn't have the privilege— as far as I knew— of hearing Jake's own music before, but I had. My nerves were more about this going well for him, wanting to threaten everyone into liking his music and clap harder than ever for him. I wanted this to be the time an overwhelming amount of evidence forced him to learn he didn't have to hide his music anymore.
Like everyone in the building, together, could overpower whatever Jake's dad had done in the past.
The light went on to the left of the stage, where the MC held a mic and read from a card.
"Let's give Jake Stewart a welcome applause on his first song ever with us. Tonight he will sing Unchanged . Welcome, Jake."
The MC disappeared in the wings and the light shifted to Jake. He plugged the guitar and tried a few notes. His blue-gray gaze met the audience.
My heart skipped a beat.