Chapter 10 #2
I shrug and don’t say that a small part of me has always hoped they’d have a falling out.
That for years I’ve secretly wished Mikayla would realize how deeply she hurt me.
I spent all of high school and college imagining scenario after scenario of her apologizing and asking if we could be friends again.
It never happened.
It never will.
Harlow’s face softens. “I’m sorry, Lily. I know it’s not exactly the same, but I get it. I fled the state of Florida the morning after my breakup with my ex and haven’t been back since.”
I reel back. “Wait. With Suzie?”
Harlow’s mentioned her a couple times, but it’s all been in passing, nothing detailed.
“Yeah,” she says. “I was always planning on heading out on the road. Only we were supposed to go together.”
My mouth falls open. She’s never mentioned that.
The corner of her mouth twitches. “It’s for the best. We would’ve killed each other. And probably would have gotten away with it too, dumping the body in some random state.”
“Oh, my god. Stop!” I laugh as she smiles. “Okay, but seriously. You have to tell me more. Especially after you made me tell you about Mikayla.”
“I didn’t—” She cuts herself off when she realizes I’m only teasing her. She takes a deep breath and says, “We were together for three years.”
“Well, shit.”
“She was a barista at my favorite coffee shop. Like typical lesbians, we flirted for a year, but neither one of us would make the first move.”
“No way.” I laugh. “So which one of you finally got up the courage to ask the other out?”
“Neither.” She smiles. “One of her coworkers got tired of our oblivious flirting that never went anywhere and asked me if I wanted to take Suzie out. I said yes. The rest was history.”
“Stop. That’s actually really cute.”
Her expression is soft, a little wistful.
“Suzie was my everything for a long time. We both had it rough growing up, and we kind of latched on to each other. Since I was too embarrassed to bring any friends around my parents, I didn’t really have anyone I was close to.
Hannah was my best friend until she pushed me away after our parents’ divorce. I didn’t have anyone but Suzie.”
She sighs. “We were obsessed with each other—us against the world—but it obviously became unhealthy. We started to argue. Little things at first that kept escalating and escalating. Neither one of us had great conflict resolution skills, and it hit me one day, we were going to be my parents. It spooked the shit out of me, and I told her I wanted to break up. She didn’t take it well.
But Haley was my van. I did most of the work prepping her for the road. So … I left.”
“That must’ve been really hard.”
Harlow’s hands are in front of her on the table, so I reach out and squeeze one.
“I was fucking miserable,” she says. Then the corner of her mouth ticks up. “I found Daisy abandoned at a rest stop on I-95 two days after I left.”
My lips part. “Oh, my god! How could someone abandon that sweet baby angel?”
“Right?” Harlow flips her hand to lace our fingers together. “But I’m glad they did. Having her saved my life.” She chuckles. “That and finding a therapist I could talk to online.”
“Yeah, that’ll do it.” I laugh. Warmth fills my chest at knowing Harlow found Daisy when she needed her most, that she wasn’t totally alone on the road or while dealing with the aftermath of heartbreak.
“Anyway.” Harlow starts collecting her trash. “Ready to head downtown?”
Our conversation topics ended up being heavier than anticipated, and I’m more than ready to switch to lighter subjects. So, I bunch up the massacred paper, toss it on my tray, and give her an enthusiastic, “Hell yes.”
Exploring with Harlow is a blast. She doesn’t get annoyed when I “take too long” in random stores. Half the time I lose track of her. Yet we always find our way back to one another and excitedly share the things that we found cool and the weird things we can laugh about with each other.
Inside this little whimsical shop that’s full of trinkets and antiques, I stumble when I catch sight of a display of strawberry bonbons.
They were Mikayla and my favorite treat.
Whenever her grandparents would visit from the UP, her grandma would bring a bagful.
We could never find them in stores, so they were our special treat we’d savor.
I always let her have the last one. I wonder if she shares them with Gabby now.
“Hey.” Harlow appears at my side. “There’s a cute bakery next door. Want to grab something?”
Slowly, I peel my gaze away from the candy and nod, my throat too thick to speak.
The line is long, but we don’t mind. I shove the resurfaced memories down—today has revolved too much around Mikayla—and I need to switch gears.
I bump Harlow’s shoulder. “Did you bring the thing I asked about?” I wiggle my eyebrows suggestively, because I have enough tact not to ask her if she brought her strap-on out loud.
She gives me a sly smirk and leans down to whisper into my ear. “I brought that and a whole bag of fun toys we can play with. Including a little surprise you mentioned wanting to try.”
My lips part as my fair skin flushes with heat. My mind flashes back to drunkenly texting her if we could try nipple clamps a couple weeks ago. She wants to do that? Now?
I dart my gaze around, hoping no one notices how deep my blush is, as Harlow grins.
“You’re adorable when you’re flustered.” She interlaces our fingers and lifts them to kiss the back of my hand. “But you have to be patient, remember?”
Her smug smile shouldn’t be so hot, yet I can already feel how slick I am between my thighs.
I open my mouth to respond, but it’s our turn to order.
She winks and tugs me forward. I let myself be pulled against the side of her warm body and breathe in the delicious woodsy and citrusy scent of her cologne.
We can’t get out of here soon enough. Harlow and I had plans to explore more of the city the next morning, but we don’t leave the hotel room until it’s time for the van to pick me up for the airport.