Chapter 12 - Team Groomsmen for Life.
According to the Best Man Handbook Pearl helped find for me, the bachelor party needs Military Planning. Everything needs to be in order.
“Okay, so remind me one more time why you need my help?” Max whines from the couch.
“Because, my darling Maxine, you’re organized, so organized you’re bordering on freakish when it comes to getting everything done, and I bet you already have the bachelorette party planned and good to go? I find myself falling asleep just thinking about it. Anyway, am I right or am I right?” I point in her direction with a playful smirk on my face.
“I am good at what I do.” She flips her hair over her shoulder, then pretends to inspect her nails. “So, yeah, it’s done.”
“As I thought, with that, Maxi-Pad, I need the ultimate distraction.”
“First thing, drop the Maxi-Pad crap”—she glares at me— “then you may proceed,” she says with a wave of her hand.
“Perfect, I need to smuggle Logan out of the city, but”—I tap my pointer finger on my chin— “Hallie has strictly said no.”
“And let me guess … you’ve planned a trip out of the city?” She rolls her eyes.
“Yes, everything is sorted, I’ve already stolen his passport, the private plane is booked, hotels, private yacht, entertainment, blah, blah, blah.”
“Entertainment?” she growls with a scowl. “Like strippers entertainment?”
“What, no, God no, what kind of best man do you think I am?” I place my hand over my heart and open my eyes wide. “Would that be a problem, though?” I add, trailing off my voice to almost a whisper.
“Yes, dipshit. It would be a problem. This is why she said no leaving the city or anything stripper related. She’s very territorial of Logan, jealousy isn’t her best friend.” She stands abruptly, storms toward my fridge, and pulls out a beer.
“Lucky for her, I am,” she says after taking a large swig of the bottle.
“Meaning?” I ask, trying to tread carefully on the subject. I knew Max wouldn’t be on board with the idea, but all I need is for her to keep Hallie busy until we land, so no phone calls or check-ins.
“Meaning, you can go, I can give you a distraction, but no fucking strippers!” “No fucking strippers, got it.” I smile.
“Ugh, Christ, you moron, I mean no strippers, period, not actually banging them.”
“Okay, I hear you.” I wink, and her fury rises by the second, and a laugh bubbles its way out of me.
“The wink you just gave me concerns me, but I will move past that. How exactly are you going to get Logan to agree to board a flight anywhere?” Her eyes dance with glee and one eyebrow rises.
I smile and get up from the couch to join her in the kitchen, then tell her the entire plan.
******
2 days later …
Boys trip to Miami! I can already feel the heat on my skin and the sand between my toes thinking about it.
Max loved my plan, maybe a little too much in parts, and agreed to help me get Logan out of the city without Hal finding out. My plan’s simple: Hallie goes for her nails, hair, and feet appointment all in the same afternoon, and in that time, Max will steal her phone and pretend she left it at home while I tell Logan we have a business meeting, an urgent one that requires him to drop everything and join me.
When we get to the airport, I’ve paid some actors to make out it’s a deal gone wrong, and they place bags over our heads, then they put us on the plane. Once we are up in the air, he can find out about the best weekend of his life.
Thankfully, he never changed the locks in his apartment, so while I get him to the airport, Tony, a mutual friend of ours, will go to Logan and Hallie’s place and pack his bags. Simple.
Max messaged me five minutes ago to say Hallie’s phone is switched off and safely tucked away between her breasts, and she’s knee deep in picking a toenail color, so now’s the chance to get him out.
“Logan, we need to go. We were supposed to have left ten minutes ago.” I rush into his office, pick up his bag by his feet, and place it down onto his desk.
“Go where,” he grumbles, not paying me any mind and still typing away on his laptop.
“Go where?” I repeat, acting pissed he’s forgotten.
“We have a meeting up town today that we need to get to, for the Boston deal.” That gets his attention. He’s been wanting to expand out of New York for years, and Boston is his preferred location.
“You’re fucking kidding me! Boston! Why am I only finding out about this now!” “No time for that, hurry the fuck up, we will talk in the car.” Bingo, let the smuggling begin.