Chapter 4 - Habit
Perth told himself it meant nothing.
Bangkok had thousands of cafés scattered across the city, hidden between office towers and luxury apartments, tucked into narrow streets glowing with neon signs and tangled electric wires.
Lunaria just happened to be nearby.
That was all.
At least, that was the lie Perth repeated to himself as the black car slowed beside the familiar sidewalk for the second morning in a row.
Outside, the city was already awake.
Motorcycles cut between lanes.
Street vendors arranged fruit beneath striped umbrellas. Office workers hurried across crosswalks with coffee in hand and exhaustion under their eyes.
Life moved quickly in Bangkok.
Too quickly for memories.
Yet somehow, Perth still found himself staring at the warm café windows before the car had even fully stopped.
The driver glanced at him through the mirror carefully. "Same place again, sir?"
Perth's jaw tightened faintly.
For one ridiculous second, he considered telling him no, but his gaze drifted back toward the glowing café sign.
LUNARIA.
The driver nodded immediately.
The door shut softly behind Perth as he stepped onto the pavement.
Warm morning air wrapped around him, carrying the scent of rain soaked concrete and fresh bread drifting faintly from inside the café.
The bell chimed gently the moment he entered, and immediately, warmth swallowed him whole.
The café smelled like roasted coffee beans, vanilla, cinnamon, and something softer underneath it all, something lived-in and comforting in a way luxury penthouses never managed to be.
Soft music played quietly overhead.
Morning sunlight spilled across wooden tables. Only a handful of customers occupied the space, laptops open beside untouched drinks.
It was peaceful.
Dangerously peaceful.
Because Perth realized, with sudden unsettling clarity, that he liked it here, and that terrified him more than any hostile business meeting ever had.
Behind the counter, Santa looked up.
The movement was automatic at first, practiced customer service reflex, then recognition hit.
Santa froze almost immediately.
Not enough for strangers to notice.
But Perth noticed.
Always noticed.
Seven years had changed him.
His hair was slightly longer now, softer around his face. His shoulders looked narrower beneath the cream colored sweater he wore beneath his apron.
There were faint shadows beneath his eyes that hadn't existed before. The kind that came from carrying too much for too long. Yet despite everything, Santa still looked painfully beautiful to Perth.
Not in the dramatic way magazines described beauty, but in the dangerous way familiarity became sacred.
Perth swallowed once before answering. "Morning."
The word came out rougher than intended. He moved toward the same seat by the window as yesterday.
Not intentionally.
His body simply remembered before his mind could argue. The chair scraped softly against the floor as he sat down.
From behind the counter, Mark glanced between them once, but it was enough to tell Perth that Santa had spoken about him before.
Maybe not by name, but enough.
Mark approached with easy familiarity. "Black coffee?"
Perth nodded.
"Please."
Mark offered a polite smile before disappearing toward the espresso machine.
Perth loosened his tie slightly as he sat back in the chair. His phone buzzed almost instantly against the table, an important message kept going in, but he ignored all of them.
Instead, his eyes drifted back toward the counter again, toward Santa.
Santa moved differently now.
Confident and grounded. He navigated the café effortlessly, checking pastry displays, greeting regulars by name, carrying plates balanced carefully along one arm.
This wasn't the boy from Silverpine anymore.
Not the quiet carrier who flinched when people laughed too loudly.
Not the trembling teenager who used to hide his emotions behind lowered eyes and polite smiles.
This version of Santa felt real in a way Perth couldn't explain, like he had suffered enough to finally become solid, and somehow...
That made Perth feel like the one who no longer belonged.
Mark placed the coffee down carefully. "Here you go."
The coffee was hot and bitter and probably excellent.
Perth barely tasted it, because every few minutes, his attention betrayed him again. Back to the counter, back to Santa, back to life quietly unfolding without him.
The child wasn't there today.
That realization arrived suddenly.
Perth frowned slightly into his coffee.
Yesterday, the boy had filled the café with noise and movement, asking questions too loudly and waving at strangers with reckless confidence.
Today, the space felt oddly quieter without him.
Perth didn't understand why disappointment flickered briefly inside his chest before he shoved it away.
Ridiculous.
He didn't know the child.
Shouldn't care whether he was there or not.
Still...
His eyes drifted once toward the back hallway as if expecting small footsteps to appear, but nothing did.
Perth forced himself to focus on work instead. He opened emails to review contracts, and answered two urgent messages from Force with clipped efficiency, but concentration came fractured.
Because Santa existed only a few meters away, and Perth's body seemed painfully aware of it.
Ten minutes passed.
Then twenty.
The café slowly grew busier as late morning customers filtered in.
Santa approached a nearby table carrying a pitcher of water.
As he turned slightly, Perth spoke before thinking. "You opened early."
Santa paused.
The pitcher hovered briefly above the glass before he finished pouring.
His voice stayed gentle, though Perth noticed the slight hesitation before he added quietly,
Perth understood immediately.
The kind of thing people built when chaos had already taken enough from them.
Santa's lips curved faintly.
"Something like that."
For a moment, silence settled between them comfortably.
Perth leaned back slightly in his chair.
"I used to hate routines," he admitted quietly, surprising even himself with the honesty.
Santa glanced at him then, really looked at him. "And now?"
Perth's fingers tapped once against the coffee cup. "Now I need them to breathe."
Something flickered across Santa's expression, because he understood that too well.
Neither of them spoke after that.
But the silence no longer felt empty.
Around noon, the café became crowded enough that Santa barely had time to think. Orders piled up quickly. Steam clouded the espresso machine. Customers filled nearly every table.
Mark bumped shoulders lightly with Santa while passing him another tray.
"You're distracted today."
Santa grimaced softly.
"...Right."
Mark lowered his voice slightly.
"He keeps watching you."
Santa's hands stilled briefly over the register. "I know."
Santa exhaled carefully.
"And nothing."
But his pulse betrayed him every single time Perth looked up, because Perth wasn't staring cruelly. Wasn't watching him with accusations or anger.
He looked at Santa like he was trying to solve something impossible, and that was far more dangerous.
The bell above the door chimed loudly.
Santa turned instantly.
Luke burst into the café wearing his tiny backpack crookedly over one shoulder while Teacher Namtan followed behind him laughing softly.
Santa laughed before crouching to fix the child's backpack.
Santa froze.
Teacher Namtan blinked in confusion.
Perth nearly inhaled coffee wrong.
Luke waved enthusiastically before Santa could stop him. "Hi again!"
Perth stared for half a second before, slowly, almost cautiously, lifting his hand in return.
The tiny wave made something unexpectedly warm settle low in his chest.
Luke brightened immediately like he'd accomplished something important.
Santa's stomach twisted sharply, because Perth looked softer around children, and Santa had never prepared himself for that possibility.
Teacher Namtan smiled politely toward Perth before excusing herself.
Once she left, Luke leaned dramatically across the counter toward Santa. "He came back."
Luke lowered his voice theatrically.
"Maybe he likes your coffee."
Mark snorted loudly.
Santa pressed fingers briefly against his forehead. "Please stop interrogating customers."
Perth actually let a brief quiet laugh at that. The sound hit Santa like a physical thing, because he remembered that laugh.
Remembered being seventeen and secretly chasing it. Remembered how rare it used to be.
For one terrible moment, nostalgia wrapped around his ribs tightly enough to hurt.
Perth stood a little while later after finally finishing his coffee.
The café had calmed slightly again, sunlight warming the wooden floor beneath his shoes as he approached the register.
Santa stiffened unconsciously the closer Perth came.
Not fear exactly.
More like anticipation stretched too tight.
Perth noticed immediately, and hated that Santa still braced himself around him even now.
The words escaped before he could reconsider them.
Santa blinked once.
"For... coffee?"
Perth almost smiled at the careful neutrality in his tone. "Yes."
Then softer,
A quiet pause settled between them, for a second, the world narrowed painfully small.
Santa finally nodded lightly.
"It's a café."
The answer was simple, but something gentler hid beneath it.
The bell chimed once more as Perth stepped back outside.
Inside the waiting car, he loosened his tie again before glancing toward the café windows.
Santa was already moving behind the counter again.
Luke stood beside him now, talking animatedly while waving a crayon in one hand, and somehow...
The sight hurt.
Not because Santa looked unhappy, but because he looked like he had learned how to live without Perth in it.
The realization sat heavy in his chest as the car finally pulled away from the curb.
Seven years ago, Perth had believed losing Santa was something he would eventually survive completely.
Now he wasn't so sure anymore, because the past wasn't haunting him.
It was standing beneath warm café lights wearing soft sweaters and tired smiles.
Pretending to be ordinary.
And for the first time in years, Perth Tanapon found himself wanting something that had absolutely nothing to do with success.
Something terrifyingly simple.
A place to belong again.
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Tbc.....
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?? Author's Note
Some people return quietly...
and somehow shake your whole world anyway. ?
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see you in the next chapter ??
- Qis ??