Chapter 10
ten
I spent most of the two-hour drive to my parent’s house in Myrtle Beach just keeping Magnolia from picking at her nails until they bled.
Eventually, she and I are going to have to talk about her methods of self harm, and some different ways she can channel her anxiety, but I know she’s not ready for that right now.
Looking up at my parents’s house, I take a minute to put myself in her shoes.
Their house is a light blue waterfront cottage with a wide wrap-around porch and white shutters.
It looks like it’s straight out of a Nicholas Sparks novel, surrounded by immense oak trees dripping in Spanish moss and only a few hundred feet from the water.
But it’s a far cry from Magnolia’s parent’s estate.
When they moved down south, this place needed a lot of work, but my brother-in-law and I did our best to restore and repair everything we could.
“This place is beautiful!” Magnolia exclaims, looking up through the front windshield.
She’s traded in her usual vintage housewife dress for a solid black skater style, green platform converse, and a jean jacket.
Her beautiful auburn curls are wrapped in a messy bun on top of her head.
I’ve never seen her look more comfortable, more herself, than she does right now.
Threading my fingers through hers, I kiss the back of her hand and she gives me a devastating smile.
Magnolia’s genuine smile, the one that flashes each one of her perfectly straight teeth between her full lips, is one of the seven wonders of the world.
“Thanks. I’ll take credit for a lot of that,” I laugh, shutting off her car and coming around to help her out. “When my parents moved down, they got this place for a steal. My brother-in-law, Nate, and I gave it a nice facelift.”
Her eyes snap to mine, momentary panic setting in. I never told her where we were going for dinner. Somehow, I just knew she would find a way to back out if I did. As much as I hate walking her in to an ambush from my family, I know she can handle it.
“Don’t panic. I promise they’re gonna like you, angel.
I know you have this idea of what family is like, but let me show you a different way.
” Holding out my hand, I help her out of the car.
Instinctively, my hands slide up the column of her neck, tilting her head back and kissing her.
Backing her into the side of the car, I kiss her like my life depends on it, like this will be the last kiss I ever have in my lifetime.
Every kiss with Magnolia feels like the first and the last, like I’m desperate to keep kissing her until we both run out of air, until the world falls around us.
Either way, I’d die in peace. When we finally break apart, a small sigh escapes her lips, and I wish I could capture that sound, keeping it safe and mine forever.
“I’m nervous,” she says, her eyes still closed. “What if they don’t like me?”
“I promise you, they’re gonna love you. I know my family, angel. They’re loud and crazy, but they’re happy if I’m happy,” I tell her.
“Are you happy? With this? With me?” She asks, peering up at me through thick lashes. Her green eyes are a forest I could walk through forever.
“You tell me, Magnolia. What is this?” I ask her, leaving the ball in her court. I know what I want, but I won’t be the only one.
“I don’t-” she says, but she’s cut off by a familiar voice.
“Conas atá an craic, deartháir,” What’s up, brother , Saoirse says, leaning against the porch railing. The setting sun highlights the flecks of red in her dark brown hair, reminding me of the beauty by my side.
“Who is that?” Magnolia whispers, picking at her nails nervously.
“My sister, angel. Just relax.” I tell her, threading my fingers through hers and pulling her towards the house.
“Saoirse, cén chaoi a bhfuil tú?” How are you? I ask, knowing it’s been some weeks since I’ve seen my sister.
“Oh, Nate’s been a real ass tonight, winding the kids up when he knows he won’t be there for the fall,” she says, and I laugh.
Her husband is a firefighter and often works the overnight shift, leaving her to put their two daughters to bed by herself.
Cara, her oldest, is five while her sister, Maeve, is only three.
I love my nieces to death, but I don’t envy the headache my sister lives with permanently.
Magnolia clings to my hand with both of hers, trailing behind me nervously. I’ve seen her at her most courageous, her most confident, but still she’s very reserved. When it comes to meeting new people, she tries to make herself so small and invisible. Unfortunately, that won’t work tonight.
“Sis, this is Magnolia. Angel, this is my sister, Saoirse,” I say, gesturing between the two of them.
“Aingeal? Chomh milis, deartháir,” So sweet, brother . My sister says, and I roll my eyes. Magnolia shuffles uncomfortably by my side, not understanding anything my sister and I are saying.
“It’s great to meet you, really. Dalton never brings anyone home, so this is a first,” Saoirse says, shaking Magnolia’s hand lightly and giving her a mischievous smile. This is going to be an interesting evening, for sure. “Does she know what she’s in for?”
“I’m hoping they’re gonna cut me a break for my birthday,” I reply and she laughs loudly.
I know there’s a snowflakes chance in hell that my parents will ever cut me a break, especially since this is the first time I’ve ever brought a girl home to meet my family.
The front door opens and a tiny version of my sister peeks around it, looking out onto the porch.
“Uncy Dalty! Happy Birthday!” Cara shouts, wrapping herself around my legs.
“Thank you, Carebear! How’d you know what I wanted the most was a hug from my favorite girl?” I ask her, picking her up and squeezing her until she giggles.
“You always say that. Mama says you’re just kissing ass,” Cara says and Magnolia snorts out a laugh behind me.
“Cara! Language!” My sister snaps, and I raise an eyebrow at her.
“Kissing ass, huh?” I tease, and Saoirse rolls her eyes.
“I’d have to say I agree,” Magnolia chimes in and I slap my hand over my heart, faking pain.
“You wound me, angel. While I would happily kiss your perfect ass any day, I’d never lie to you,” I tell her with a wink, and she blushes furiously.
“Oh, laying it on thick I see.” Saoirse takes Cara from my arms, walking into the kitchen where I hear my mother singing to Maeve as she stirs a pot on the stove.
“Ah, the prettiest lass in the entire world,” I say, mimicking my father’s thick Irish brogue as I wrap my mom in a tight hug.
“Oh, come off it! Dalton Cian, try your act on someone who didn’t give birth to ya, why don’t ya,” she replies, leaning into me and kissing my cheek. Maeve hugs me quickly, running out the back door to chase her sister.
Magnolia stands off to the side of the kitchen just watching my family with a sad smile on her face. I wish she knew what growing up in a home like this was like. We may not have been rich, but we never lacked for love.
“And who do we have here?” My father says, coming down the hall and spotting Magnolia.
The house falls silent, only the faint sounds of the girls playing outside filtering through the back door.
Magnolia shrinks in on herself a little, uncomfortable being the center of attention.
When I reach my hand out to her, she threads her fingers through mine with no hesitation. I’m shocked at how right it feels.
“This is Magnolia Monroe. Magnolia, these are my parents,” I say, pulling her into my side. She gives them a warm smile, the one she usually saves just for me when she’s really happy.
“It’s so nice to finally meet you. I’ve heard so much about you,” she says, extending her hand out to my mother. After a quick once over, my mom pushes her hand to the side, pulling her in for a hug.
“It’s lovely to meet you, dear,” my mother says, looking at me over Magnolia’s shoulder. “I’d love to tell you we’ve heard a lot about you, too. But my son is very tight-lipped about who he spends his time with.”
“Aw ma, come on. You know all of my friends,” I tell her, sitting at the dining table.
“Ah, sure, ya hellion,” she says, giving me a scolding look.
“You’ve never brought a lass this fair trou our doors, son,” my father says, his thick accent making Magnolia giggle.
“Well, I’ve never met one this fair before Magnolia, Da. So they weren’t worth bringing home,” I tell them. Magnolia blushes a deep crimson color, clasping and unclasping her hands in front of her.
“Is there anything I can do to help with dinner, Mrs. Murphy?” Magnolia asks, and my dad raises an eyebrow in my direction. I know he’s already decided what he thinks of her, but he’ll wait until we’re alone to tell me.
“Please, dear, call me Fiona. Do you cook?” my mom asks, and Magnolia grimaces. The extent of her cooking consists of what takeout she can order, but I know she’ll give it her best shot. “Not to worry. I taught both my heathens how to cook. I’ll be patient with you, mo pháiste.”
My child . Hearing my mother use the term of endearment she always used for my sister and I, the one she uses for my brother-in-law and my nieces, I know she’s already accepted that Magnolia is important to me.
Magnolia takes off her jean jacket, draping it across the back of my chair before she leans down to place a sweet kiss on my cheek.
It’s such a simple gesture, but definitely not something between just friends.
We’ve already blurred the lines so much at this point, I’m not entirely sure what we are.
My father lets out a sharp whistle, jerking his head for me to follow him outside. Before I do, I take a mental picture of Magnolia standing in front of the stove, smiling and laughing with my mother. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a more beautiful sight.
Once the back door closes, my dad laughs under his breath, shaking his head as I follow him across the yard to his shop.
“What? What’s so funny?” I ask, knowing that mischievous look in his eyes always holds a deeper meaning.
“She’s a pretty one, that girl of yours,” he says, and I nod.
“That she is. We’re just…friends,” I say, the words tasting bitter in my mouth. I don’t want to be her fucking friend.
“The way you look at that lass? There’s nothing friendly about it, my boy,” dad says, and I can’t help but nod.
He tinkers around, moving tools from one side of the shed to the other before sitting on a stool and facing me.
My dad has always seen through any emotion I try to hide, and I know it’s no different now. “Does she know you care for her?”
“Yeah, she knows. I think she knows. I just don’t think she trusts the feeling, ya know?
I’m a little out of my element when it comes to an actual relationship, and I think she knows that, too.
” I wish I had a better reputation, but I never knew my path would cross Magnolia’s.
I’m not sorry for the person I was before her. It made me who I am.
“The way she looks at you. I’ve seen that look before, son. Hell, I still see it on your mother’s face when she looks at me, despite all the hell I’ve given her over the years. That girl is in love with you, son.” His eyes crinkle at the corners when he smiles, but I just shake my head.
“I don’t know if I’d go that far, Da. I can’t imagine a woman stupid enough to fall for me,” I joke, but he scowls.
“Don’t. Don’t you sell yourself short, son. You’re a good man, a strong man with a kind heart. I know that, and from the looks of that girl, so does she.” His words marinate in my mind.
Is Magnolia really falling for me? Is that something I want?
Who am I kidding? Of course it is. I want to be the first and the last man she ever falls for.
But that’s a lot of responsibility that I don’t know if I’m ready for.
For now, I can offer her my help, my protection, and whatever small pieces of me I’m willing to share.
Maybe someday that will change, but I make no promises.
“Don’t wait too long, okay? The good ones are always worth the risk, Dalton.” Soaking up my father’s wisdom has been a constant in my life, and this time isn’t any different. But instead of sharing my thoughts with him, I just nod.
“Let’s go see how far these ladies have gotten with dinner.
” He stands, walking across the backyard and up the porch steps.
My nieces bound across the yard, nearly knocking us both over in their race to get inside.
My sister and Nate sit on the swing by the water, her head resting against his shoulder as they watch the sunset.
For a moment, I imagine myself in their shoes.
Soaking up moments like that with Magnolia would be pure bliss, but is it attainable?
Is it something I even deserve? I know a woman like her is so far beyond what I deserve.
But if I’m honest with myself, it’s what I want.
Not just any woman, because no one holds a candle to the one I want.
She doesn’t see herself that way, but I do.
And so does everyone around us. Her beauty radiates from the tips of her auburn hair, from the corners of her smile, through every single thing she touches.
The woman I want is a goddess among men, and I have no right to ask her to be mine. But when do I ever ask for what I want?
No, I take it.