24. Eli
Eli
I lean against the counter as CJ turns on the water. He glances over his shoulder, then crosses the few steps between us. His hand settles on my hips as he closes the space separating us.
“What…”
A soft kiss brushes my lips.
“…do…”
Kiss.
“…you…”
Kiss.
“…want?”
Kiss.
I hold his gaze for a long moment before sliding my hands up his chest, feeling the steady beat of his heart beneath my fingertips.
“You,” I whisper.
I kiss him again, my lips barely touching his as I murmur, “Everything.”
A slow smile touches his mouth. Without breaking eye contact, he takes a step back and leans against the opposite wall.
“Strip, Baby Boy,” he commands me quietly.
My breath catches as my fingers find the hem of my shirt. I pull it slowly over my head and toss it into the basket in the corner.
Heat climbs my neck beneath the weight of his gaze. He doesn’t look away, and I see his eyes darken, pupils widening as a quiet groan slips free, the sound settling low in my chest.
A shiver runs through me like a foreign energy that makes my body sing.
My fingers flick my nipples, and then I slide my hands slowly down my chest, each finger following every valley until I reach the waistband of my pants, my fingers curling slowly into the fabric.
Then I stop and wait. I watch him as one dark eyebrow lifts.
“Teasing me, Baby Boy?” A slow smirk curves across his lips. His tongue peeks out, and I watch as he slowly licks his bottom lip. I whimper as it disappears.
“That might not be a good idea, Eli.”
An intensity that I haven’t felt in years coils low in my stomach, and the promise beneath his voice ripples through me like a jolt of lightning.
Holding his gaze, I hook my thumbs into the waistband of my pants and boxers, easing them down my legs. I step free of them and toss them into the basket, never once looking away.
His eyes stay locked on mine.
CJ watches me, his eyes following my every movement. His gaze drops to my cock, and I watch the slow sweep of his tongue across his bottom lip. His breathing catches, growing uneven. His raspy pants sound loud in the otherwise silent room.
When his eyes find mine again, they are almost black with a slight blue edge, and they are fixed solely on me, as though I’m the only person in the world.
His jaw flexes.
“God, you’re fucking beautiful,” he says, his voice barely above a whisper. The way he looks at me steals what little breath I have left. “Absolutely perfect, Baby Boy.”
He takes a single step toward me, and I drop my gaze on instinct.
Years of conditioning tighten around my throat, pulling me back before I can stop it. The old need to make myself smaller, quieter, lesser. For one terrifying second, Adrian’s voice slips back into my head.
Then CJ speaks. “Look at me, Eli.” His voice is quiet. “Baby Boy… look at me.”
Slowly, I lift my eyes to his and see him: the scar on his cheek, his broad shoulders, the strong hands that have held me together when I couldn’t hold myself together. I see his love.
His hand rises to cradle my cheek. “There you are,” he whispers.
Soft kisses brush my jaw, then my lips, patient and unhurried until the last of the tension drains from my body and he feels the exact moment I let go.
His voice falls to a gentle murmur, the kind of quiet reassurance that steadies a frightened child, as he says, “Baby, when I look at you, I don’t see any of that.
I just see you.” He steps closer until our chests touch.
“I know you see the scars. I know you still see everything Adrian left behind. But when I look at you…”
He kisses me. “I see the strongest person I’ve ever known. Nothing about you needs fixing, Baby Boy.”
His fingertips drift across my cheek before settling against my lips.
He catches my bottom lip between his thumb and forefinger, giving it the gentlest tug.
A spark shoots through my body as he kisses me slowly, his tongue licking into my mouth, in smooth, slow strokes.
He moves to my cheek, and his voice is like a caress against my skin.
“And, Eli, there isn’t a single thing I’d change about you.”
Kiss.
“Not one scar.”
Nip
“Not one fear.”
Kiss.
“Not one part of you. You’re perfect to me.”
Nip.
He looks at me then, never looking away. “Those scars are part of your story. They are proof of everything you survived. But they aren’t why I love you.”
CJ loves me. The truth crashes into me so hard my heart forgets how to beat. Can I be loved?
My chest tightens as he looks at me and says, “And Eli… they’re not the only things I see.”
Then he kisses me, deep and desperate. Our kiss is full of everything we’ve been holding back.
CJ loves me. And the most beautiful part is… I love him, too.
He lifts his head and takes a step back, and I follow, chasing him before I even realize I’ve moved.
A small, knowing smile tugs at his lips. “Stay, Baby Boy.”
He steps back again until he is leaning against the opposite wall.
I force myself to stop, watching as he pulls his shirt over his head. Miles of warm, tanned skin catch the soft light, stretched over a powerful frame. His every movement is unhurried, every glance deliberate. CJ knows what he is doing, and I can’t look away.
Then he slips his belt free and lets it hang loosely between us.
“One day, Baby Boy, if you’re open to it, I want to earn every ounce of your trust. I want you to know you’re safe with me.
When that happens, I want your hands tied so I can worship every part of you.
Until your body is shaking with need for my cock.
Until you’re screaming for me and begging me to take you. ”
I swallow, my breath catching in my throat.
Holy fuck.
I want that. The thought surprises me more than anything else.
He undoes the button of his jeans, then slowly draws the zipper down, the sound like a physical caress. Taking his time, he pushes the denim over his hips and down his legs, revealing his strong thighs.
I melt, my body loose as my skin prickles with desire.
His fingers catch the waistband of his boxers, and for a heartbeat he holds my gaze. Then, just as deliberately, he eases the fabric down his thighs.
I watch as his cock springs free, and the air leaves my lungs in a shaky wheeze. My tongue slips out to wet my bottom lip before I can stop it.
CJ’s eyes snap to the movement. A slow, wicked smile curves across his lips.
He straightens and looks at me while I stand there drinking him in. Every inch of him looks carved from long hours in the gym, and I whimper as my gaze drifts over him.
“You want my cock, Baby Boy?” he asks quietly, stroking his cock slowly.
I nod, because words have completely left me.
His eyes stay on me as he watches my reaction, taking in every flicker of attention as it moves across him. I see the exact moment his body tenses as he sees me noticing his scars. His burns. His history.
Then he relaxes when I don’t linger on them. Because we both carry them. They’re part of us. Part of what we survived, and they don’t define us.
My body aches for him as I watch him stroke his dick, every movement slow and deliberate. My focus narrows until there’s nothing left but him.
I take one step, then another, until there’s barely any space left between us.
I don’t touch my dick. I want that to be his moment, his control. And right now, all I can think about is him.
It isn’t just want anymore. This is pure need: raw and consuming. I want him close. I want him to take the lead, to pull me into him completely.
“Come on, Baby Boy. I need to get my hands on you.”
CJ takes my hand and guides me into the shower. Steam curls through the air as the door opens, wrapping around us like a second skin.
I step under the water and let it pour over me, tipping my head back as the heat seeps into my muscles. It’s perfect, warm enough to loosen everything I’ve been holding onto for days.
CJ steps in behind me, his cock sitting in the crease of my ass.
His arms settle around me, and he kisses the nape of my neck.
I drop my head onto his shoulder, giving him more access.
He nips my skin, sending jolts through my body as my dick reacts to every nip.
His tongue follows, taking the sting out of each bite.
He reaches for the shampoo and washes my hair slowly, his fingers moving through my scalp with the perfect pressure. My body eases under his touch as water runs down over my skin.
My body is on fire, trembling beneath his touch. Every place his fingers land seems to spark alive under my skin. It’s too much and not enough all at once: a rush of sensation that leaves me shaking and breathless for him.
He kneels behind me, slow and deliberate, his attention unbroken as he explores me like he’s learning me by heart.
A sharp nip brings an unexpected sensation rocking through me, and my knees threaten to give out.
“Oh, shit,” I breathe, the sound barely there.
He pauses immediately, like he’s noticed he just found something important.
“Got you,” he murmurs, almost to himself.
And I realize with a jolt that he’s just found one of my sensitive spots. I press my hands against the wall, breathing hard, trying to steady myself as the sensations CJ pulls from me roll through me in waves.
My body is unsteady, like it can’t quite decide whether to hold on or collapse and give in.
I hear him murmur, “Soon,” each word softened by a kiss and a nip on each of my ass cheeks. He turns me gently, and I look down at him as his hands rest on my hips.
Every place he’s touched still burns under my skin: a lingering reminder that I’m here, that I’m alive.
My hands move over him, exploring slowly, learning the shape of him through touch alone. He keeps me waiting on purpose.
I feel it in the way he avoids my cock, even though he knows what my body is screaming for. His deliberate restraint pulls helpless sounds from my throat. My hips shift instinctively, chasing him, but he doesn’t give in. He keeps nipping, sucking, and exploring my skin.
He drags his mouth along the sensitive line of my inner thigh, and I break completely.