32. Eli
Eli
“You can stop being afraid now, Eli. I’m here now.”
The words hit me like a truck, and everything inside me turns to ice.
No. God… no.
My body starts shaking before I can stop it. Tiny tremors ripple through me at first, but within seconds they’re so violent my teeth begin to chatter. I squeeze my eyes shut, desperate to block him out.
If I can’t see him, maybe he isn’t real.
Maybe this is another nightmare. Maybe I’ll wake up wrapped in CJ’s arms, his heartbeat beneath my cheek, his hand rubbing slow circles across my back until I remember where I am.
The thought hurts. His arms were the only place I ever felt like I wasn’t drowning.
A sob catches in my throat because I already know the truth. I know that voice. There is no waking up from this.
My breathing becomes ragged, each breath shallower than the last as panic tears through me.
My lungs refuse to fill no matter how hard I try, and my chest burns with the effort.
I did everything right. I ran. I disappeared.
I built a new life. I found people who loved me. I found a home. And I found CJ.
But Adrian still found me.
The thought crashes through me with brutal certainty.
He’s won. Everything CJ and I fought so hard to build - every quiet morning, every laugh, every kiss, every promise that I was safe - it’s all slipping through my fingers.
The weight of it crushes me. My arms feel heavy, my legs won’t move, and the room begins to blur around the edges.
No. Not now.
I know this feeling. I’ve been here before.
My mind is trying to save me, running somewhere warm, somewhere safe.
Strong arms wrap around me in my memory.
A deep voice murmurs against my hair. I can almost feel rough stubble brushing my forehead, almost smell cedar and coffee, almost hear the quiet laugh that always settles the storm inside me.
CJ.
I reach for him, but I can’t quite see his face. The memory slips through my fingers.
My stomach drops as a finger brushes gently across my cheek, shattering the illusion. Even after everything, my body still remembers what comes next. The touch glides along my jaw before trailing slowly down the side of my neck, and every muscle in my body locks.
Those fingers. Once so familiar. Once capable of making me believe I was loved. Now they only remind me of pain.
His hand settles around my throat, not tight enough to hurt, but just tight enough to remind me that he can. Just enough to remind me who he believes I belong to.
“Elijah.”
My eyes snap open. The darkness disappears, and reality crashes back into me.
Adrian is crouched directly in front of me. He’s real.
His hand circles my throat, tightening slightly while that same gentle smile rests on his face.
The smile that used to come before the bruises.
Before the apologies. Before he whispered that he loved me while teaching me another lesson.
His fingers tighten again, just enough to steal another breath. Not punishment. Possession.
Every nightmare I’ve spent months trying to outrun comes flooding back at once.
I feel phantom bruises blooming beneath my skin.
I hear every apology I ever whispered, every lie I believed, every time he convinced me that the pain was my fault, that if I’d just been better, quieter, more obedient, he wouldn’t have needed to hurt me.
My vision narrows until all I can see is his face. Smiling. Waiting. Watching me break.
The darkness rises again, swallowing the room piece by piece. This time, I don’t fight it.
* * *
I come to slowly, my mind sluggish as it struggles to remember where I am. Threadbare carpet scratches against my cheek. My hands are still bound behind my back, my shoulders ache, and every breath burns somewhere deep inside my ribs.
Then I remember.
Finn.
Panic slams into me so hard I almost choke on it. The last time I saw him, he’d been unconscious on the basement floor when they dragged me upstairs. Terror twists through my stomach. Please, please let him still be breathing. Losing Finn would break something in me I don’t think I could fix.
Adrian is standing in front of me. He smiles. “There you are.”
His voice is warm, almost relieved, as though I’d simply wandered into another room instead of trying to escape him.
“Look at you, sweetheart.” His eyes travel slowly over me. “You’ve put on a little weight. We’ll fix that.”
Nausea rolls through me. He says it so casually, like we’re catching up over coffee instead of sitting in the house where he’s imprisoned me. As though he hadn’t ripped Finn and me off the street. As though he hadn’t torn me away from the man I love.
I’d spent months planning my escape. Months learning how to breathe without him. Months believing I’d finally found freedom. And now, my body betrays me.
The moment Adrian steps closer, panic crashes through me. Every instinct screams for me to get away, but there is nowhere to run. My muscles tense anyway, preparing for an escape that doesn’t exist.
He crouches in front of me. “You’ve changed.”
I don’t answer. I refuse to give him anything.
His eyes wander over my face, lingering on my hair before settling on the scar through my eyebrow. The scar his coffee table gave me. Something disturbingly affectionate softens his expression, like an artist admiring a favorite piece of work.
“You’ve gotten older,” he smiles to himself. “But you’re still mine.”
The words settle inside me like ice. He isn’t threatening me; Adrian is stating a fact.
Goose bumps prickle my skin as I realize that’s the part that terrifies me.
Adrian completely believes it. And there is nothing more dangerous than a man who thinks his delusion is love.
In his mind, none of the beatings happened the way I remember them.
None of the manipulation. None of the years he spent convincing me I deserved every bruise.
He doesn’t see himself as a monster. He sees himself as the man who loved me enough to fix me.
“Where’s Finn?” The question leaves my mouth before I can stop it.
Something dark flickers across his face. “That’s the first thing you ask me?”
I swallow. “Is he okay?”
He sighs as though Finn is little more than an inconvenience. “You’re worried about him.”
I don’t answer.
“Please.” The word escapes before I can stop it.
His smile grows. “Oh, sweetheart.” His finger trails slowly down my cheek. My skin crawls. God, I hate that name. There was a time when it made me feel cherished, safe, loved, but now it feels like a knife sliding between my ribs.
He tucks a loose strand of hair behind my ear with unbearable tenderness. “I’ve missed you.”
The words scrape something raw inside me.
“No,” my voice is quiet. “You missed controlling me.”
For the first time, something shifts behind his eyes. Not anger. Hurt. Real hurt. As though I’ve accused him of something unforgivable. As though I’m the one who’s betrayed him.
The realization makes my stomach turn. This isn’t an act. Adrian truly believes he loves me. He believes I abandoned him, that I broke his heart.
The smile returns, gentle and patient. The same smile he always wore before the fists started flying. He leans closer until his expensive cologne fills my lungs, his hand cupping my face.
“You were always coming back to me, sweetheart.”
And suddenly, I understand. He’s not trying to win me back. Adrian already believes he’s won. In his mind, this game is over. He’s beaten CJ. He’s beaten me. He’s brought me home.
“Fuck you.”
The words leave my mouth before I can reconsider them. His hand moves so fast I barely see it, and pain explodes across my face. My head snaps sideways, and blood floods my mouth before I hit the carpet.
He grabs my chin immediately, forcing my face back toward him. “Sweetheart,” he murmurs, almost disappointed. “Don’t be like that. Anger doesn’t suit you.”
Anger? He has no idea. He stole me from CJ. He stole my home, my family, my future. He took Finn.
Something hot and vicious uncurls inside my chest. This isn’t fear anymore.
No. This is pure fucking rage. It burns through me, bright and violent.
For the first time since he took me, I feel like I’m standing on my own feet again.
My jaw aches from clenching my teeth, and for the first time since I escaped, I don’t want to run anymore. I want to fight.
Adrian settles back into the chair opposite me. Neither of us speaks. Neither of us looks away. He’s waiting for me to lower my eyes, waiting for me to become the frightened man he remembers.
Every instinct begs me to look away. I don’t. Fuck him. I pour every ounce of hatred I have into my stare.
He stands suddenly, and my body flinches before I can stop it. Fuck.
His smile returns instantly. “See?” he says softly. “Your body still knows me.”
My stomach twists. “You kidnapped me,” my voice shakes with fury. “You kidnapped Finn.”
He tilts his head. “No.”
A bitter laugh escapes me. “No?”
“I’m bringing you home.”
The words hit me like poison. My stomach lurches violently, and I vomit onto the carpet.
“You ran away,” Adrian continues gently. “You got confused. People filled your head with lies.”
“You hurt me,” I force myself to meet his eyes. “You beat me. You controlled me. And you enjoyed it.”
A look of quiet sadness crosses his face. “As if I enjoyed disciplining you. You always needed guidance.”
I want to scream. Instead, I breathe.
Time. That’s what I need. Time for CJ. Time for Deck. Time for Finn to stay alive.
Adrian feeds on fear, on tears, on panic. He watches every expression, collecting weakness the way other people collect photographs. So I give him nothing. No tears. No pleading. No fear.
I simply sit there, meeting his gaze while silence stretches between us.
Eventually, Adrian smiles.
I smile back. Only a fraction, just enough. Not because I’m winning. Not because I’m brave. Because for the first time since he dragged me back here, I’m choosing the next move.
Something flickers across his face. Curiosity.
Good. Let him wonder. Let him underestimate me.
The longer Adrian believes we’re still playing his game, the longer CJ has to find me. So I wait. And I pray the man I love reaches me before Adrian decides he’s finished playing.