Chapter 5
CHAPTER FIVE
JO
There are people everywhere, but Jordan Wyles is all alone.
It’s the same thought I had two nights ago when Jordan came out the back door of Ben and Hallie’s house, sighing and muttering and tugging at his hair. Over the last couple years, I’ve overheard Hallie and Ben and their friends talk about how Jordan is cranky and withdrawn, but that’s not the vibe I got from him.
I don’t think Jordan is any of the things they say he is. Or maybe he was. Probably was, actually. But he’s not that anymore.
Jordan is lonely.
And of course he is. I don’t know him as well as Hallie does, but I know enough to know you don’t lose the love of your life in the sudden, violent way he did and come out of that unaffected. Especially if the love of your life is Allie Hayes, the coolest, most badass woman on the planet.
But I also know he laid on the grass with me in Hallie’s backyard and showed me constellations when he didn’t have to. And listened to me ramble on about whatever was in my head that night the way I do. And he ate the Fireball I gave him even though he stared at it first like it had wronged him in some way.
So, yeah, Jordan may be lonely, but I also think Jordan wants a friend. And yeah, I know he already has a bunch of those, but for some reason, he looks like this, even though he has them.
It’s a good thing I am an absolutely stellar friend, and I happen to be about to spend three months right in the city where he lives.
Jordan is about to be friended so hard, and he doesn’t even know it. My excitement overload for my summer in New York ratchets up a couple of notches.
Strolling over to where he sits, I plop myself on the bench next to him. “Pretty great, right?”
He jolts, like he didn’t even realize I sat down. “Jo,” he says, his voice a deep rumble. “What are you doing here?”
I study him for a second. The jeans and dark green henley T-shirt he’s wearing fit his tall, lean body perfectly. His light brown hair is sticking up everywhere—like he’s spent the entire day running his fingers through it—but somehow the mess suits him. And his eyes. Never in my life have I seen clearer blue eyes. They are eyes that should sparkle. That should be a part of the grins that spread across his face every day, early and often. That should be filled with love and happiness and only good things.
His eyes don’t do any of those things anymore, but I make a vow right here that they will again, and I’m going to be the one to make it happen. I never make promises I don’t keep. Okay, that’s a lie. I’m enthusiastic and prone to superlatives and I make unkeepable vows all the time. But this one is important. And when it’s important, I always follow through.
“I work here.”
He furrows his eyebrows in confusion. “You work here at the museum?”
“Sure do. I’m the program director. I’m in charge of pretty much all the museum programming, but most of my job is the kids’ stuff. So, what are you doing here?”
He shrugs, looking uncertain, like he has absolutely no idea how he ended up on a bench outside a museum in a city where he no longer lives.
“Okay, let’s try a different question. Are you planning on going in?”
The uncertainty on his face deepens as he turns, eyes scanning the building. “I don’t know.”
I don’t know what Jordan’s doing here, but I do know he has enough friends in this city that he could absolutely have made plans with one of them today. Or, he could have found some fortress of solitude to hole up in for the day. But he didn’t do either of those things. Instead, he came to a busy museum to sit outside and look at it. There has to be a reason.
Taking a chance, I stand, holding out my hand to him. “Come on.”
His gaze moves from my hand up to my face. “Come on where?”
“Come with me into the museum. I want to show you something cool.”
“I’m not a member anymore.”
The confusion in his voice makes me laugh. And I like the anymore , because it means he was a member once, which means this is a familiar place for him. “You’re kidding right?” Picking up the badge still hanging around my neck I shake it. “Museum staff, remember? I have access to all the best places.”
I wiggle the fingers on the hand I still have extended in his direction. “Come on. You’ll love it; I promise. And if you don’t, you can always come back out here and keep staring up at the building instead of doing all the awesome things inside of it.”
Jordan heaves a sigh. “Does anyone say no to you?”
I flash a grin. “Rarely ever. I’m very persuasive, and if you say no, I’ll just nag you until you give in, so it’s really not worth the trouble. Now come on.”
He finally reaches up and takes my hand, standing to his full height of extremely tall . I’m prepared for the jolt that comes when he slides his hand into mine. I felt it the other night in Hallie’s backyard when Jordan’s hand grazed mine accidentally. It surprised me then, but it doesn’t surprise me now. I’ve always thought some people were just drawn to each other, and something about Jordan calls to me. I believe enough in the mysterious and unknown to believe that. It doesn’t have to mean anything other than I’m going to be the best damn friend Jordan Wyles has ever had.
Jordan obviously doesn’t agree because he drops my hand instantly, the look on his face waffling between confusion and light terror. For some reason, that makes me smile.
“Let’s go, Jordan. Be prepared to be amazed.”
* * *
“Jo, go home girl,” Barb says when we run into her just inside the doorway to the museum. “You’re not leaving for six weeks. All your work will still be waiting for you tomorrow.”
“I had actually already left, but I ran into my friend Jordan here, and I want to show him the rocks.”
Barb sizes up Jordan, who is standing in the very crowded museum lobby with his hands shoved into his pockets, then turns back to me, eyes gleaming. “Friend, huh?”
Jordan flushes a little, which delights me, so I wink at him. “You bet.”
Barb grins at me. “Well, okay then. Enjoy the rocks, and nice to meet you, Jordan. You must be someone special. Jo doesn’t show the rocks to just anyone.”
Jordan’s mouth is set in a line as he watches Barb walk away, his entire mood giving, what the fuck is happening right now . Good. I think it’s been far too long since this man had any unexpected fun.
“Follow me.”
Five minutes later, we’re snaking our way through the winding, brightly lit hallways of the museum basement. Jordan hasn’t said a word, but I know he’s paying attention, peeking into the windows of the various labs and work rooms, because his pace slows, so I slow mine too, wanting him to have the opportunity to see whatever he wants to see. I get it. The museum basement is mysterious and a touch creepy, and it feels a little forbidden. It’s one of my favorite places on earth.
“You going to tell me where we’re going, Hurricane?”
I laugh and turn, my eyes meeting his. “Hurricane?”
He shrugs and shuffles his feet a little uncomfortably, as if maybe he didn’t mean to say that, but his eyes stay on mine. It’s the most adorable thing since his flushed face upstairs. “Seems fitting. You’re like a spinning vortex of energy. Do you ever get tired?”
“Nah, and even when I feel tired, I can never fall asleep. I’d much rather be up doing something than lying in bed being frustrated because I’m still awake.”
“Sounds familiar,” he mumbles.
It’s the first time he has offered up anything personal, so I’m immediately curious. “You don’t sleep well?”
Jordan’s gaze trails to the window of one of the paleontology labs that line the hall. It’s empty except for the small dinosaur skeleton mid-assembly on the worktable. “I used to,” he says quietly, staring into the lab. “Not so much anymore.”
I nod, almost certain Jordan just gave me a piece of himself he has never given to anyone. I make a silent promise to him to keep it safe. “So, you ready for this?”
Jordan shoves his hands in his pockets in what seems to be his favorite I don’t know what to do with myself move and turns back to me. “I don’t know what exactly I’m supposed to be ready for, but sure, why not?”
I grin at him. “Good answer.”
Taking a step back, I grasp the handle of a heavy metal door, turn it, and push the door open, stepping backwards into the dark room and motioning for Jordan to follow. When the door shuts behind us, the room turns pitch black without the light filtering in from the hallway.
I pause for maximum effect.
“Uh, is this the part where you murder me in the museum basement and shove my body into a closet with discarded dinosaur bones or something?”
I gasp, absolutely delighted by him. “Jordan Wyles, did you just make a joke? I didn’t know you did that.”
“Dark humor seems about all I’m capable of these days.” In the darkness of the room, his voice sounds even deeper, and I can’t deny that it does something to my insides, especially since, even with my eyes slightly adjusted to the dark, all I can make out is Jordan’s very dim, very tall silhouette. For a brief second it feels like maybe we’re the only people in the world.
“Listen, dark humor is still humor, and don’t ever let anyone tell you it isn’t. Now, are you ready for the show?”
“Why the fuck not?” Jordan’s voice comes from my right.
Feeling along the wall with my hand, I find the light switch and flick it up.
Dim light fills the room and Jordan blinks, letting out a low whistle as his eyes rove the space. “What is this place?”
I grin at him, following his gaze, imagining seeing this all for the very first time. “It’s the storage room for the specimens that aren’t currently being displayed in the Hall of Minerals and Gems upstairs.”
The room has a long table that spans the length of one wall, and floor to ceiling glass display cases are along the other three walls. The table and the display cases are filled with minerals and gems in all colors, forms, and shapes. Each one of them individually would be spectacular, but all together in this small space, they take my breath away. The overhead light is low, but the lights inside the cases highlight each rock in a soft golden glow. This room is high on the Jo’s Favorite Things list.
“The museum has about thirteen hundred specimens of rocks and minerals on display at any given time, but there are thousands more. Some of them are fragile and require special storage and handling, but the ones that don’t live in here until they’re rotated into the exhibit.”
Jordan turns to me, his eyes brighter than they were outside. I love to see it. “How did you find it?”
I shrug, giving him a little smile. “I’m curious by nature, and I’ve seen Night at the Museum too many times to count. When I first started working here, I would take breaks and go exploring. One of my sojourns led me here. It’s technically off limits, but I got a peek inside while someone was opening the door, and I was a goner. It’s the combination of science and sparkles, you know? Gets me every time. Anyway, I made friends with the curator of the Minerals and Gems exhibit, so now I get to come here whenever I want.”
“I bet you could make friends with anyone.” Jordan looks at me with those blue eyes and I get the sudden, very strange feeling of being well and truly seen. It’s unusual but not at all unpleasant.
“Almost anyone,” I say, glancing around and focusing on my favorite gem—the one that looks like it was tie dyed every color of the rainbow. “Women my own age tend not to like me very much. I’m a lot.”
“Does that bother you?” Jordan’s gaze still hasn’t left me, but his eyes don’t hold any judgment, only curiosity.
I shrug. “Honestly, it used to. Socially, high school was a bitch and college wasn’t much better. But now? Not so much. I like who I am. I’m not interested in changing anything about myself, so anyone who wants me to just isn’t worth my time. Life is good, you know? I have Hallie and Hannah, and they’re my best friends. Hallie gave me two babies to snuggle whenever I want, and I have a job I love more every single day.”
“Must be nice,” Jordan mumbles, sinking onto the upholstered bench in the middle of the room. The one I dragged all the way down here a couple years ago so I didn’t have to sit on the floor when I wanted to spend some time with my rocks.
I drop down next to him, swinging around so I can sit cross-legged, facing him. “You don’t like your job?”
Jordan blows out a breath, eyes fixed on the case of minerals in front of us, legs spread and elbows on his denim-clad knees, hands clasped between his legs. It’s unfair, honestly, how attractive he is. That’s just fact. “It’s fine, I guess. It’s just a little monotonous. Same shit, different day.”
I reach into my bag and come up with a couple Fireballs, keeping one for myself and handing one to him. Just like the other night, he stares at it for a minute before unwrapping it and popping it in his mouth. I get the sense Jordan doesn’t talk about himself, almost ever, so I tread lightly, even though I’m dying to ask him if he’s bored because he misses working with kids. I sure would if I were him, but I also understand the reason why he switched. Going to work every day with Allie’s memory everywhere would have been impossible. “I mean, you literally cut people open for a living. That doesn’t seem monotonous.”
When he talks, it’s like he’s talking to the rocks, unused to making eye contact with someone while he has a conversation. Maybe even unused to having a conversation at all. “General surgery is not all that glamorous. It’s the same few surgeries, over and over again, with the occasional complex case thrown in, but not enough to keep it interesting.”
“Ah,” I say, nodding my head, voice sober. “I get it. You’re an adrenaline junkie.”
Jordan huffs out a noise that sounds so perilously close to a laugh that I grin wide. “Laughing looks good on you.”
He sobers so instantly that it’s comical, but I swear I can see one side of his mouth hitch up just a little. Suddenly my entire goal in life is to get Jordan to laugh again, but for real. “That wasn’t a laugh. It was an exasperated sigh because talking about my job is boring.”
“Uh, okay, that was definitely a laugh, but we live to fight another day. Anyway, turns out you’re completely in luck, because I’m here to save you from a life of monotony.”
He turns his head, giving me an appraising look. “And how are you planning on doing that?”
“By moving to New York and helping you have the best summer of your life.”
Jordan coughs and sputters, and the look on his face is filled with so much horror that I collapse into manic laughter on the bench, tears streaming down my face. “Simmer down, J,” I manage through my giggles. “I’m not, like, stalking you to New York or anything. I’m definitely moving there, but for my job, and just for the summer.”
He eyes me dubiously, like he doesn’t believe I’m not following him to New York, bunny boiling Fatal Attraction style, so I pull my phone out of my bag. Unlocking the screen, I open the email I got from my new temporary boss, Monica, after I accepted the job this morning and hand him the phone. “Seriously, look. A whole formal offer letter and everything. Three months at the American Museum of Natural History in Manhattan, an apartment on the Upper West Side, and the opportunity to plan the museum program of my dreams.”
“I live on the Upper West Side,” Jordan mumbles, handing my phone back. I flash him a grin.
“We’ll be neighbors! Get ready because I haven’t been to New York for more than a short trip here and there since I graduated college. I have so much I want to do, and you’re doing it with me.”
He shifts on the bench, a little uncomfortably. “I don’t do a lot outside of going to work and coming home.”
I shake my head, giving him a disappointed look. “That’s just sad. New York City is the best place in the world, and summer is its favorite season. Here,” I say, handing him my phone. “Put your number in. I’ll call you when I get to the city, and we can plan our summer. I’ll be there the week before Memorial Day. Like, six-ish weeks from now.”
To my surprise, he takes it and enters his number, then hands it back to me. I think he mostly just doesn’t know what to do with me. I type out a quick text and send it. Two seconds later, his phone dings. “Now you have my number too. Feel free to use it if you ever feel like talking. Texting isn’t my favorite, but you don’t seem like much of a phone talker, so I’ll make an exception for you since we’ll be New York besties.”
He looks at me, eyes serious. “Jo, I don’t know what it is you’re looking for here, but I don’t want…I mean I can’t…” He trails off, looking so distressed that I lay a hand over his, ignoring the jolt, feeling him flinch, his eyes flying up to mine. When I speak, I keep my voice quiet.
“I’m not looking for anything—I swear it. We’ll both be alone in New York this summer. Maybe instead of being alone, we could do some things together. I just want to be your friend, Jordan. I think maybe you could use one of those.”
For a second, I think maybe I’ve overstepped. Maybe I didn’t really see the loneliness in him I thought I saw. But then Jordan sighs, giving me a nod so small it’s practically imperceptible, but it’s there all the same.
I smile and take back my hand. “Good. So now that we’re friends, can I ask you a question?”
“If I said no, would you ask anyway?”
I smile. “Probably.”
Jordan swings one leg over the bench so he’s straddling it and facing me fully. “Do your worst.”
“Why were you sitting on that bench just staring up at the museum without going inside?”
He winces. “It’s stupid.”
“I really bet it’s not.”
Jordan clasps his hands together and looks down at them. “There’s this thing I used to do. With Allie.”
He looks up at me, as if he wants to gauge my reaction to him saying his dead fiancée’s name, and I wonder briefly how many people have made him feel uncomfortable for mentioning her over the last two years. I instantly hate every single one of them. I give him a smile I hope is encouraging, and I think it works because he continues.
“We’re both surgeons, so our lives and jobs were constantly insane. Our shifts didn’t always line up, and we were sometimes on completely opposite schedules, so it was really hard to find time to go out together, especially in the early days. One morning when we first started dating, Allie was finishing a night shift and I was about to start on days, but I was early. I had about an hour, so I got in the car with her, and we started driving. It was like six in the morning and everything was closed, but somehow, we ended up here. Allie told me she liked the dinosaur out front and liked to drive by to see what scarf he was wearing. So, I guess it kind of became our thing. Even when we just had a little time between shifts, we would come here and check on the scarf. Sit on that bench if we had time.”
He shrugs, looking down at his hands, a sheepish expression on his face. “I got in the car today, and it just kind of drove itself here.”
I smile softly, my heart aching for this lovely man who lost so much. The helper in me is already making a list of all the different ways I’m going to make his life sparkle again.
“Dippy’s the best.”
“Who?” He looks up at me with a furrowed brow.
“Dippy? The dinosaur you just told me was an integral part of your life for a not insignificant amount of time.”
“He has a name?”
I stare at him, incredulously. “Uh, of course he has a name. He’s the most famous dinosaur in the entire world, Jordan. Did you really not know anything about him in all the years you came to visit him?”
“I mean, I thought he was just a fun Pittsburgh landmark.”
I scoff, pointing a finger at him. “Homework assignment. Go home and learn about Dippy. While you’re at it, read up on the entire history of our dinosaur collection. It’s fucking fascinating, and it’s right here in this building. And also…” I reach into my bag, digging to the bottom and coming up with another Dippy figure. “Here.” I hand it to him, and when he takes it, our fingers brush. That damn jolt again.
“What’s this?” he asks, studying the palm sized figure.
“Now you can have your very own Dippy. A little piece of home in New York. If you want, I can make you a bunch of tiny scarves for him to wear on rotation so he’s really authentic.”
Jordan does that little huff of a laugh again, but when he looks at me with eyes full of gratitude, I feel warm all over. “Thanks, Jo. Seriously. For all of this. You’re…easy to talk to.”
“It’s a gift,” I say breezily, not wanting to let on how much his words mean to me. “And think of how much time we’ll have to talk while I’m in New York this summer. Buckle up because the J’s Summer of Fun is about to begin.”
I shake my hands like they’re holding pom-poms and give him a grin. And I swear that for one tiny second, so fast you’d miss it if you weren’t looking, Jordan smiles.