6
THE OBSESSION
As predicted the next couple of weeks flew by but I couldn't stop thinking about that day at the office. Was it him that I saw or was it a figment of my imagination playing on the fact that I wanted my life to be a romance novel? My head was spinning thinking that out of millions of workplaces he just so happened to come to mine. And if it was him, why was he there? The unknown was driving me insane. I was obsessed that if he knew where I worked and he really wanted my name he would come back or wait outside.
The image of his eyes locking with mine ignited my heart a little. It made my body tingle remembering his touch, his lips, the thrill of the chase feeling that it gave me to run out the office hoping he would be waiting for me, that he remembered me, before that ache in my heart as he gave one last glance, driving away. Maybe it’s for the best.
Every time I left the office it became an obsession to retrace my steps. Retrace that moment as if it was a movie playing out in front of me, hoping he would be outside the office, leaning arrogantly against his car for a chance to see me again. That boastful smirk of his forming, I would run into his arms and he would kiss me with such passion and a cheesy line like ‘I can’t believe I found you! You’ve been on my mind since we met’. Delusional and pathetic.
This wasn’t me, I never obsessed over a man so why was I doing this now? I needed to forget about him. Mental note…no more romance movies or books for a while until this obsession wears off. Or seek mental help.
It was Ivy night again but we decided to turn it into a weekend thing as I had postponed the last one we’d arranged. She summoned me to help her set the colour and themes for the wedding as Jude was away with work this weekend. They had narrowed down some potential venues after viewing them over the last couple of weeks. She also wanted me to help plan an engagement party.
I had stockpiled notebooks, wedding books, a small overnight bag, and some wine as I drove to her parent’s house; her house wasn’t quite finished. I was so thrilled for Ivy and I couldn't wait to take my mind off my non-existent love life and my new obsession by planning her wedding; a distraction I welcomed.
Drowning in books, we settled onto the couch surrounded by wedding books scattered open on various pages, in designated areas; cakes to the left, flowers to the right, wedding dresses central and in front of us was an organised list of who was responsible for which to-do item. Ivy’s vision was ‘fairytale princess’, her vision board scared me with how extravagant it was in the time frame we had but I would support her as long as she didn't make me wear ruffles!
Pizza was our best friend tonight, accompanied with more wine which became such a habit during the movies that the planning quickly fell to the back of our mind. We got drunk, like usual, but tonight we started to dance around her parent’s front room, singing and dancing, adding more songs to a party playlist.
More wine flowed through our veins, to the point that neither of us could stand. Laughing until our cheeks hurt, we both crashed on the floor in fits of laughter, breathless from the dancing and loud singing. It was kind of lucky the house wasn’t close to neighbouring houses or we would have had a noise complaint.
Ivy held my hand. “You're my best friend and I love you so much.” Her admiration brought tears to my eyes. Alcohol always made Ivy sensitive and so emotional that she would express admiration and even more gratitude than usual.
“I love you too, Iv! Honestly you are my sister,” I replied, feeling overwhelmed with emotion.
“Forever! No matter what,” she chimed.
“Forever,” I smiled as we laid on the floor, leaning our heads together as we rested in the pile of papers scattered around us.
Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath not wanting to start crying. I was beginning to feel overwhelmed; the wedding, the wine, the stranger, work. All replaying in my head at the same time on full volume. I didn’t want to drag Ivy in my spiral, to ruin the night that was supposed to be her wedding planning. I needed to find a way to breathe through my emotions. To calm the raging anxiety that wanted to break through. At the moment, it was a battle I was scared of losing control of. Despite this, I was determined to make this the best wedding in the world for Ivy; she deserved nothing less.
The next morning was a struggle; my head pounded and I couldn't remember how I stumbled into the guest bedroom. I fixed my hair into a messy bun, threw on an oversized T-shirt accompanied with my grey sweatpants and made my way into the kitchen for coffee. Ivy was already awake, coffee brewed, cooking breakfast in a way that I honestly didn't know how she did it. It was as if she didn’t have anything to drink last night.
Ivy was completely put together in a cute pyjama set, her hair brushed into a neat ponytail and her face looked fresh. She was a total contrast to my scruffy appearance. I shouldn’t be surprised by this anymore as she always looked her best.
“Here babe,” she handed me some painkillers and water.
“Thank you, my saviour!” I laughed, as I retrieved the glass from the counter, quickly swallowing the tablets as she pushed a coffee cup across the counter to me too. She knew exactly what I needed.
This was the plus side of a ten-year friendship, three years sharing a dorm and TMI conversations about everything. We knew each other inside and out, in both the best and worst parts that not even our own family and partners knew.
“We have a busy day today. We need to tidy the mess before my parents get back home later, and plan the engagement party. Mum invited you to stay for dinner as she hasn’t seen you for ages.”
I took a sip and nodded, accepting the invitation. I hadn't seen Carol and Mark since summer when we had the BBQ for Mark’s birthday. I got on really well with her parents and they sometimes invited me out for dinner. Her parents were celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary this week in Thailand.
“Sure, sounds good,” I smiled, letting the warm liquid flow down my throat, subsiding the nausea. “Ivy… how are you okay? I'm hanging,” I groaned, putting my head in my hands as I leaned on the counter for support.
“Sure, looks like you had a good evening,” a rough voice projected from the doorway behind me. My heart stopped, anxiety flared up. No way.
Turning around slowly, afraid to make any sudden movements; it was him. Mr Barcelona. He was smartly dressed in dark Armani pants, the sleeves rolled up on his taupe shirt and sunglasses that shielded those beautiful eyes. The familiar scent of Hugo boss filled my lungs, igniting my body and jump-starting my memories. He removed his shades keeping his eyes on me, my breathing hitched, my throat dry.
“NATE!” Ivy startled me as she ran up throwing her arms around him. Nate. Frozen, I finally knew his name. His focus shifted to Ivy as he returned the hug, pulling her tight, lifting her tiny frame off the floor. “You're finally home! It's been a while.”
He settled her back down and she playfully punched his arm.
Finally, it started to make sense, my mind rummaged back through conversations with Ivy, remembering she had an older brother she hardly ever saw. I couldn’t remember her ever mentioning a name or even seeing a picture of him. I was not expecting this! Her older brother was my one-night stand.
I knew he worked away from home a lot and only saw her a couple times a year; he wasn’t spoken about much as he’d had a massive falling out with his dad.
“I thought I'd come visit Mum. Wanted to give her a gift, especially since she’s been married to him for a long time, she needs some kind of medal,” he playfully said.
“Nate,” she softly scolded. “She will be home later.”
His focus returned to me as I realised I hadn’t stopped staring at him. A second of silence passed until Ivy remembered me.
“Nate, this is my best friend, Gigi. We’ve been best friends since uni. Gi, meet my big brother Nate!”
She introduced us, oblivious that we had already met intimately a couple months ago. He goes by the nickname of Mr Barcelona; the nickname SHE gave him. Nate's expression relaxed, his smile softened into a subtle smirk. He now had my name just as he had wanted that night.
“Hey Gigi, Nice to meet you.” Nate replied, swallowing the lump in his throat. His Adams apple bobbed softly. His voice sent a chill down my spine igniting my arousal; my body loved the way my name rolled off his tongue.
“You too,” I smiled gently, subtly squirming in my seat. Ivy danced back to the other side of the kitchen to refill her coffee, allowing me to glare at Nate, alarmed at the discovery. Amused at my reaction, he strolled into the kitchen, cool as a cucumber, grabbing some bacon from the plate. Ivy swatted his hand away but he just chuckled at her.
He wandered to the space by the back door, his body glowing from the sun that seeped into the kitchen. He folded his arms which bulged his muscles as his gaze focused back on me.
Those eyes darkened as if he was reliving the memory of that night, even though I looked like a mess. My body was reacting to his presence and I couldn’t stop it, my cheeks heated up as he kept his attention on me. As bad as it sounded, I was grateful Ivy was oblivious because I was panicking internally, anxious that she could figure out the passionate night shared between the two of us.
“Mum and Dad won't be happy with the party Iv,” he tutted playfully, telling her off, not taking his eyes off me. I wasn’t uncomfortable with his examination. I welcomed it.
“You're just jealous you weren't invited,” she continued to plate up breakfast and wash the dishes as she went along.
“Yes, I am” he strung out his sentence, a hint of flirtation in his tone.
Quietly, I sipped my coffee, not wanting to draw any attention, having to fake a smile as Ivy focussed back on me. My brain was all over the place; I wasn't sure what I was thinking. I needed to keep myself busy to try to hold back the anxiety attack that I could feel surfacing. I couldn't believe I’d had the best sex of my life with my best friend’s brother.
I know I didn’t know this beforehand. I never would have let this happen; he was a stranger. Nate’s subtle flirtation made me feel incredibly guilty of the situation at hand. How could I confess to the one person who meant the world to me that her own brother was Mr Barcelona? Ivy had asked for details of the events.
I couldn’t even begin to imagine how much worse this would be if I actually had told her all the intimate details of her brother. I was mortified. To make it worse I couldn’t even get out of dinner this evening after accepting the invitation, so now I had to endure this.
My anxiety was bubbling just below the surface. A part of me wanted to run but my body wouldn’t let me, another part wanted to speak up and question Nate but that would give us away. Another part wanted to just tell Ivy the truth. I didn’t want to keep secrets from my best friend. We never had secrets. I got lost in my thoughts, needing a distraction or excuse to leave the room and fast. I was relieved when Nate finally spoke up.
“I've got a meeting in town soon so I'll pop by later. In the meantime, tidy!” He twirled his keys on his finger, and kissed Ivy's cheek, taking a moment of her attention as she resumed the dishes before he walked towards me. Nate towered over me, gently brushing his hand intentionally over my arm, goosebumps forming.
“Nice to meet you Gi, see you around.” He was playing with me. My head spun and my stomach produced butterflies to accompany the nausea I was feeling. I couldn’t work out if the nausea was from last night’s alcohol or the chain of events this morning.
This changed everything.