20
THE DATE NIGHT
‘Date Night’ arrived not even a week later, Friday night to be exact. Ivy came round to mine to get me ready. I was so nervous. I hadn’t technically been on a date for a couple years since Kyle. I hadn’t even been on a date with Nate.
Ivy blow dried my hair, letting the soft curls bounce over my shoulders. She slipped me into the little black dress, zipping up the back for me. I smoothed it down as it hugged my figure, the elegant mesh panel teasing just a bit of skin on my torso. My heart stopped as Ivy presented me with red lipstick. The exact look I had with Nate that first night. Black figure-hugging dress, red lipstick, curls loose on my shoulders, the image was uncanny.
Ivy took a look at her masterpiece, clapping her hands together, but not before she shoved a small handful of condoms in my clutch. I rolled my eyes at her.
“What? You should always be prepared!” I chuckled at her. Putting out on a first date that wasn’t me. But then again, a lot of things weren’t me lately. Zak had texted me the restaurant details so I could scan over the menu in advance, which I’m guessing meant Ivy had tipped him off about that little quirk of mine. He offered to swing by and pick me up so we could drive to the small bar and restaurant together.
Ivy had disappeared after she was happy with her work and I waited nervously, pacing the living room until the doorbell rang. Zak, the perfect gentleman, had bought me a small bouquet of flowers which I popped in a vase of water before we headed out. He was dressed to impress. A smart black suit and tie with a soft scent of a cologne I recognised. Hugo fucking Boss. Great thank you universe. Now he has to wear the same cologne as Nate? His man bun was as neat as he could get it and if I was being honest, he looked good.
“You ready?” he asked in his deep voice. I swallowed the lump in my throat and nodded, following him out of the door to his car.
We were seated in a tight, booth style table, secluded underneath a giant cherry blossom tree. The restaurant had many trees on display, which made it unique but also kind of enchantingly. Beautiful, like something out of a fairytale.
We ordered some drinks to start, I needed some kind of liquid courage. I had decided to order a cocktail called Mermaid Lagoon; it was a blue concoction that had edible glitter and some fish ice cubes floating around, the rim of the glass was covered in orange, pink and purple sprinkles. It had rum in it from what I could guess and had a sweet tropical flavour burst. It was fun! If this was the cocktail, I couldn't wait to see the menu and food itself. I hadn’t actually looked at it before, despite my usual habit. I wanted to be spontaneous.
Everything had an amazing name; the drinks were named after all thing’s fairytale; the dishes after things in nature, making everything even more magical. A good choice Zak. I was pretty impressed.
“I'm so glad you agreed to a date,” he smiled, looking me over one more time. “You look incredible.” His compliment made me blush a little. I wasn’t used to being complimented by men but lately it seemed to be the norm. I took my cocktail and drank a sip trying to contain my smirk.
“You look good yourself.” I complimented him back. He was a vision, his man bun kind of a turn on, dimples forming as he grinned, ecstatic that I found him attractive too. Or maybe he was just an over confident, cheeky chap.
We ordered food and chatted about anything and everything. He told me more about his job, working his way up from being a street cop to a big-time detective, with some cases being interesting and some being so disturbing it wasn’t for the faint hearted. He was more interesting than he was on that first meet at Ivy’s engagement party, he seemed to have become very comfortable, less small talk and more real talk.
He opened up about his hobbies too. He was part of the local rugby club, his physique now making sense and he may have mentioned his love of reading in a coffee shop; he was definitely not who I had thought.
Zak was a great guy, pretty perfect in fact and maybe just maybe, Ivy knew what she was doing. She knew what I needed. He also told me about his childhood. He was adventurous, out-going and everything seemed to be ticking the boxes.
On paper, he was perfect for me; he wanted a big family, to get married and move just outside the city in a suburban area to raise a family. He was everything I had previously wished for. But he wasn’t Nate. There was no spark, no butterflies. No matter how hard I tried, the chemistry just wasn’t there. With Nate it was like a nuclear fusion, the energy was so powerful it couldn’t be contained. With Zak, no reaction, not even a small charge.
Our food arrived and, despite my realisation, the date flowed nicely. We laughed and talked more and as I shared some more about myself, I knew this would be a great friendship, my mind fighting with me as it replayed Nate’s words. You will crave me every second of your life…mundane…
Fuck! No. This was the mind games. Zak was good, promising. He could give me the life I wanted, the stability I needed. I wasn’t going to let memories of Nate screw it up. So, I swallowed it down as far as I could and made sure Zak was my focus. I needed to make this work. So, what if there was no spark right now? Maybe no spark was safer. Maybe that’s why Nate and I had gone wrong, so much energy that it destroyed us. Focus on Zak.
My phone rang a couple times, Nate’s name appearing on the screen. I hid it quickly not wanting Zak to catch another man’s name on my phone. I sent the call to voicemail. He’d had time to reach out to me ,so why the hell was he calling now? He wasn’t going to ruin a good date. My earlier conversation with Ivy made me think that maybe he was drunk, screaming for attention or high as fuck, under someone else. I wasn’t going to risk caving in. If Nate was hurting, I wouldn’t put it past him to pull me under, hurt me too. He called again, and another two times. Frustrated, I ignored each call and placed my phone on silent, trying to focus on Zak as much as I could, but he could tell something was going on. And then a message on my screen.
I think Zak saw it, as he looked away for a moment. I quickly reached across the table to grab Zak’s hand in mine and he smiled, taking it. I wasn’t going to let Nate ruin this.
I was done fighting for something that wasn’t there, he’d had his chance and he threw it away. I knew what I wanted out of life and Zak clearly wanted the same thing. I needed to work on this just a little to be able to move on, see where it goes.
“I’m so sorry about the distraction.” I smiled softly as he brushed his fingers over my knuckles, my hand still in his.
“That’s okay,” He was understanding. “If you need to take it, please go ahead.”
“I’m really enjoying our date Zak,” I complimented, grinning at him.
“Same, and I hope we can have another one soon,” he stated and I smiled nodding. It wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world.
“Who said this one was over?” I teased, lacing my fingers in his.
“The person blowing up your phone. It must be important,” he chuckled, his free hand running over his jaw.
“How about I tell them to fuck off, turn my phone off and we can continue this date. Get some dessert and maybe we can plan date number two?” I chuckle, looking into his eyes. A small twinkle in his as he nodded.
“Okay, only if it's chocolate lava cake,” he said and I nodded like he’d read my mind. I stood up with my phone, ready to confront Nate.
“If you need a restraining order, let me know,” he teased.
“Deal. Can I have another one of those cocktail things please? I’ll be back in a second.” I left my stuff with Zak so he knew I would return.
I stepped outside the restaurant and dialled Nate back. He needed to stop and I needed to put him in his place, put some boundaries down.
“What the fuck Nate?” I growled as soon as he answered the phone, a small chuckle coming through from his end. It sent a shiver down my spine at the same time a cold breeze consumed my body. Leaving the restaurant without a jacket was stupid as it was 5° and I was freezing, despite my rage.
“Who is he?” he asked, amused.
“Who?” I replied, wondering what he was going on about. I hadn’t spoken to him since our call on Boxing Day at my parents house, weeks ago now.
“Don't lie to me, sweetheart. Your date.” It rolled off his tongue like it was poison. I froze in place. How did he possibly know about the date unless… No…
I spun around to look inside the restaurant, searching frantically, until my eyes landed on the cocky bastard raising his whiskey glass at me.
“Now, get rid of him or I will,” he smirked. A chill ran down my spine at his warning, I wasn’t sure how far he was willing to go.
“Don’t you dare!” I scolded him, not taking my eyes off him through the window.
“Gi, I swear, if he puts one finger on you again, I will fucking break them in front of everyone,” he growled. I could feel the anger radiating through the phone call. He swigged his whiskey, not removing his gaze from me. I wasn’t scared of Nate; he could push me all he wanted.
“Fuck you!” I spat at him. My blood was boiling. He was going to ruin this date.
“What did I say about that attitude of yours, sweetheart?” He chuckled a little as he threatened me.
“Is this a game to you?” I asked, even more annoyed; Nate had now gotten underneath my skin. “Wait. Have you been following me?” I asked, a little more alarmed.
I knew he was hurting, but stalking me was so unlike him. Was he on something to go to this extreme? Nate had money and my bet was he could put that to use and become dangerous if you got on his bad side. Was he just drunk and this was all a big coincidence?
Hundreds more questions ran through my mind, more than I wanted to ask and sure as hell didn’t want the answers to. I wanted to move on, I wasn’t playing this game anymore.
“Something like that,” he admitted blushing a little. I couldn’t figure him out and it frustrated me. I had no words, maybe the restraining order Zak had mentioned might actually be a consideration if Nate was going to stalk me and upturn my life.
“You look so fucking sexy in that outfit,” he pulled me from my thoughts as I watched him check me out. His voice in that low husky tone. “Kind of reminds me of the first time I saw you.” He licked his lips. I fucking said this outfit was cursed, it was exactly the same as the night in Barcelona, it caused goosebumps all over my skin.
I wanted to cave so badly as memories flashed back, watching Nate’s eyes on me mentally undressing me. He's reliving his teen years, drinking, partying, and women. Ivy’s words brought me back to life. A sick feeling in my stomach that he wanted to drag me into the mix, play me.
“Nate, Go compliment another one of your cheap hook ups,” I spat back, taking him by surprise. Yes, I’ve heard about your little coping mechanisms. I wasn’t stupid, I knew I was right from the guilt written all over his face.
I stared at him, my eyes watering, waiting for him to say something. “That’s what I thought.” I swallowed the pain in my chest. He gripped the phone harder, some kind of pain flashing in his eyes, subsided by anger. But not at me, towards himself.
“Lose the date” he choked out. He cut the phone call and downed the rest of his whiskey, pouring himself another.
My breathing had picked up, I wiped the tears from my eyes taking a breath before returning to my date with Zak. My evening was ruined, I couldn’t carry this on now, not with this sick feeling in my stomach, the anger I was feeling. And it worried me that Nate would carry out his warning. He still had some kind of hold over me, this threat looming over my head. I knew Zak would take care of himself; he dealt with this on a daily basis. What I couldn’t live with was Nate being arrested, losing his job and spiralling more into his coping mechanisms, all for wanting to beat up a detective just for being on a date with me.
I made my way back to Zak at the table. He saw my emotions all over my face. He noticed the goosebumps on my skin, the tight grip on my phone, and he definitely would have noticed the subtle redness in my eyes from a few streams of tears. I was shaking, trying to keep myself composed. My brain was spinning so fast I was worried it was going to take off.
“Are you okay?” he whispered, as I slid into the booth, placing my jacket over my shoulders to warm up a little.
“I’ll be fine.” I tried to paste on a smile but Zak was worried. He didn’t push and I appreciated it. I glanced in the direction of Nate who had moved to a small table so he now had a full view of mine and Zak’s booth.
“Gi, you’re shaking, what’s going on?” Zak tried to take my hand in his but I pulled it back slightly, looking away from him.
“Not now.” I muttered, trying to not cause too much attention or give Nate any ammunition. “I think I need to go but I would love a second date. If this hasn’t scared you away.”
I smiled softly in his direction and he nodded. He grabbed his wallet and threw some notes on the table, before he got up to put his jacket on. I followed his lead standing so I could say goodbye. He hugged me close.
“If you need that restraining order let me know, okay? And message me when you get home. I’ll text you about a second date.” Zak was calm, but my heart was leaping out my chest as I hugged him. My eyes focussed on Nate, his knuckles turning white as he balled them into fists.
“I will, thank you Zak, see you soon,” I quickly said, pulling back before Nate got out of his chair. Zak gave me a small kiss on my cheek and walked out the restaurant. I took a deep breath as I watched Zak leave, before I grabbed my things, looking over at Nate. I shook my head as I bit the inside of my lip nervously, I did what he’d asked. I headed toward the exit, wanting to go home. I didn’t want to be anywhere near him right now. I was ready to curse the universe.
Nate followed me out the restaurant. I kept walking despite him calling after me, ignoring his pleas. He begged me to stop and seized my wrist, pulling me to a halt, before he dragged me into an alley way up the side of the building.
His body towered over me as he backed me against the wall. Alcohol intoxicated him, his breathing picking up as he looked into my eyes. I wasn’t scared. I just watched him maintain his hard exterior. I was mad at him. He pressed his forehead against mine and I could feel his breath hitch at our contact.
“You made the right choice,” he chuckled, placing a hand under my chin, forcing me to look up at him.
“I didn't do it for you,” I whispered, trying to hold my own composure. His eyes turned dark at my response. “You're drunk Nate and I tried to avoid a fight.”
He took a step back before laughing to himself, creating a small gap between us which I was thankful for. The scent of alcohol was suffocating me so I welcomed the fresh air that now breezed between us.
“You have me all figured out? I’m impressed,” he raised an eyebrow. “I was so close to beating the shit out of him, for touching you, pulling you close, his lips on your skin. He’s lucky I didn’t break his jaw.” His threats came through thick and fast. It had really gotten under his skin seeing me with someone else.
“Enough with the threats, you aren’t going to touch him,” I snapped, pissed that he was acting like this. He didn’t want me; he’d had his chance. “I swear to God Nate- “I began but was quickly cut off by him.
“You’re mine, Gi” he growled, punching the wall beside me and closing the gap again. Fear now overtook my body, but not because of him or his actions, instead scared of whatever he was about to say, scared I was going to just give in to him because he was my weakness, my drug. I took a breath, looking deep in his eyes, the message needed to be clear; he couldn’t play me like this.
“No. I’m not. You made that clear many times. you had a chance but your fear of commitment fucked us. I won’t ever be yours, not really.” I yelled back, tears pricking my eyes. His face was inches from mine. His breathing picked up as the hurt in his eyes flickered in the darkness. My own breathing picked up in fear, now directed towards him, fear that he was too drunk, too angry, too possessive and controlling at this moment.
His body pushed into mine against the wall and he boxed me in, my breath hitching. He ran a finger over my cheek softly as I swallowed the anxiety that crept into my throat, unsure of Nate right now. He was looking into my eyes, delicately moving a stand of hair off my face, twirling it in his fingers before tucking it behind my ear. His telltale sign clearly visible. I knew I was safe, he wouldn’t hurt me, not physically anyway. The feelings he had for me, seeping through the stone exterior around us.
“You're mine,” he whispered, a shaky breath fell from his lips as he confessed. “No matter how much I fight myself… I’m yours truly, you have my heart, Gi. You drive me crazy. You make me feel things I’ve never felt before and it scares the shit out of me. But seeing you with him, I wanted to kill him for taking what’s mine.”
Holy Shit. This was the confession I had been waiting to hear for the last couple months. It was music to my ears but, at the same time, I didn’t know what to say. This explained the hot and cold moments. Those small affectionate moments between us weren't my imagination. He had felt them too, they were natural, they were us. Whether we wanted to admit it and put a label on it or not. I had confessed my side but Nate never had. And right now, he was completely vulnerable and saying what I wanted to hear all along. My head was spinning. Was this part of his game? Is this even real? I was so confused.
“Nate…” I sighed, not sure how to respond. He pressed his forehead to mine and closed his eyes. “We can talk about this when you're sober.” He nodded softly, stepping back to let me go, his eyes afraid to meet mine. I couldn’t help but stare at this man before me. His confession filled my heart, giving me butterflies, but I worried it was the alcohol or maybe even drugs that gave him the confidence tonight before he simply retreats from me again when he’s sober. “You can crash on my sofa. I’m not letting you drive.” He handed me the keys to his car and I drove us back to mine. Nate didn’t say a word the whole journey and as soon as the door opened, he collapsed on the sofa. I went to grab a blanket and some pillows to make sure he was comfy. When I returned, I saw his jacket was tossed on the floor. I hung it up just as his phone beeped in his pocket. A text from Ivy lit up his screen.
My heart sank knowing Ivy was worried sick and I couldn’t even tell her he was here, that he was safe and asleep. It would open a can of worms that I didn’t want to deal with this evening. I grabbed a glass of water from the kitchen and placed some aspirin beside it on the coffee table for him, for the morning. Then, a bucket by his head, just in case the contents of his stomach decided to break free in the night.
I tucked the blanket over him, watching this grown man settle on my sofa. He startled me as he grabbed my hand.
“Gi, thank you.” He planted a delicate kiss on it as he looked up at me.
“Get some sleep.” I smiled as he let my hand go, snuggling up to the blanket. I flicked the light off and stood by the door frame, watching the ‘perfect gentleman’ drunk and broken on my sofa, before I turned and headed to bed, leaving the door open just a crack, not completely shutting him out.