Chapter 19
“And obviously you’ll stay in Sassafras like the rest of your crew. I bet your mom could find you a position at Hawthorne!”
It’s the “obviously” that gets me.
One.
Two.
Three.
Four.
Five.
Six.
After the sixth knock, I open the door to reveal a devastatingly handsome man. One who has been teasing me all night with his little touches under the table. Literally getting my panties in a twist while we were at the bar. And then singing to me about how he won’t break my heart—or maybe how I shouldn’t break his. Either way the boy has pipes and he’s not afraid to use them.
How the hell does a man make me wet singing the female part of a song released in the ‘70s? Something is obviously wrong with me and I don’t even care.
“Are you going to let me in or keep gawking at me?” Finally, my brain starts working and I move to the side to let him in. I haven’t even had much to drink tonight, but I think I’m drunk on him. On this.
He flicks the lock shut and it rings out like gunfire.
Holy shit, I’m in way over my head here. All of a sudden we are very, very alone. I start backing toward the sink as Anders prowls toward me. Once he has me pinned against the counter, he asks, “Am I still allowed to touch?”
I nod in response.
“Words, Bex. Can I touch you?”
“Y-yes. Yes you can touch.”
His hands come up to the swell of my cleavage. “This top has been teasing me all night.” He pulls down on the fabric and my breast pops out.
“Fuck me,” he breathes out. And I would. Happily.
“Yes, please.”
He laughs at that. “Eager, are we? Sorry, but the first time I fuck that sweet pussy will not be in the bathroom at Louie’s.” With that, he leans over and pulls my nipple into his mouth. My response is automatic. I gasp, arching up into him, silently asking for more. He flicks me with his tongue, before pulling off with an almost vulgar pop.
I am a fairly smart person. I’ve maintained a 4.0 GPA throughout my time at Hawthorne and I know that I will have some pretty amazing job offers when I graduate. However, right now if you asked me to form a coherent thought, I don’t think I’d be able to. All that keeps running through my head is:
Need Anders inside me.
Want Anders inside me.
Have to have Anders inside me.
“We can go back to my place?” I hear myself asking. He continues to toy with the other side of my top while I sit here with one tit hanging out.
“Luci and Riz won’t think that’s weird?” he asks.
“Well, I kind of already told them about you and me. Us.”
His brow quirks up at that. “You told them we’re friends with benefits?”
I cringe hearing that phrase come out of his mouth, even though I’m the one that put it there.
“Yes. Is that okay? I didn’t mean to overstep but I figured my place is probably safer than yours so they’d see you around eventually.”
“That’s fine, Bex. I’m not the one eager to hide what is obviously going on between us.”
“So you’d want Gabe to know that you and his only sister are friends with benefits?” I ask, a bit incredulous.
“Well, that’s not exactly how I’d phrase it, but yes,” he replies.
“Not how you’d phrase it? But that’s what we are to each other.” I can hear the defensiveness in my voice.
He grunts at this and pulls my top back into place. Then, he looks me in the eyes, leafy green treetops meeting a swirl of golden caramel.
“That’s not what you are to me. And maybe that’s all I am to you,” he sighs. “For now that’s okay, but it won’t always be. Eventually you’ll have to make a choice, Bex. But I’ll be here in the meantime, waiting.”
“I—I don’t really know.”
He reaches up, brushing my cheek with two of his fingers, as if memorizing the line of my cheekbone. “You don’t have to say anything to that. I just want to be crystal clear where I stand on this. I will be whatever you need me to be, as long as you know that what I want with you is… a lot more than friends with benefits.”
Damn.
“Right, no yeah. Okay. Cool.” Eloquent, Bex.
His eyes crinkle at the corners as his lips tip up. “Does the offer to go back to your place still stand?”
“Really? Oh, uh… Yeah. Yes. Definitely.” Why am I constantly turning into a babbling idiot around this man?! “How can we get out of here without Gabe noticing?”
He leans his forehead against mine, taking a deep inhale before replacing his forehead with his lips. “Let me take care of that.”
Rolling my eyes, I look up at him. “Oh God, what do you have planned?”
“Do you trust me, Baby Bardot?”
Yes, I do.
I shouldn’t have trusted him.
This fucker’s brilliant idea was to tell Gabe I was having “period issues” and that he would take me back to my apartment. Thankfully, Gabe is a child and wanted nothing to do with his little sister’s fake menstrual cycle, so he quickly dismissed us. Luci and Riz shot us skeptical looks as we left Louie’s, probably because we all synced up a while ago and they know I’m not on my period; I just blew them a kiss when Gabe’s back was turned, reveling in watching both of their jaws drop.
Hell yeah, ladies, I’m about to get lucky.
By the time we make it back to the apartment, my body is buzzing in anticipation. Anders might have made a joke the other day about being my teenage dream but he definitely was. From the day I met him at sixteen, he became the star of my fantasies. How often do people get a chance to be with the person they’ve imagined countless times while using their vibrating counterparts? It can’t be that often, so I’m internally high-fiving myself as I unlock the front door.
“So… this is our place.” I point things out as we walk by, but I’m beelining it straight toward my bedroom. “Kitchen, living room, Riz and Luci’s rooms are down that hallway, bathroom, and here’s my bedroom.”
“Woah, slow down! We aren’t in any hurry.” I hear Anders, but his voice sounds distant. Turning around I see that he’s still by the front door, taking everything in.
I am definitely in a hurry. I need this man’s cock, like, yesterday.
I march over to him, grabbing his hand as I pull him back toward my bedroom.
“Listen, I’ve waited a very long time for this so I am definitely in a hurry. I even trimmed up downstairs in anticipation so let’s get this show on the road, killer.”
Anders barks out a laugh, yanking my arm so that I’m pulled back into his chest full force.
“Let’s get one thing straight, Rebecca. I’m in charge here, not you.”
The feminist in me wants to argue with that, but let’s be honest, she left my body the moment my full name came out of his mouth. I’m known to be a little stubborn though, so I look up at him through narrowed eyes, moving to whisper in his ear, “Are you? Prove it.”
In one swift movement, Anders bends down and throws me over his shoulder, landing a loud smack against my ass with his other hand. “Do you know what happens to brats, Baby Bardot?”
On a gasp, I answer, “No, but dear God, I hope you’re going to show me.”
He shoves open my bedroom door before tossing me on the bed. I may be short, but I am not a tiny woman. I have hips and an ass, and I truly love my midsize body. I’ve never bought into the whole big man, pocket sized girl thing, but the fact that Anders just threw me around a little bit is doing things for me. Namely, between-the-legs things.
As if to torture me, Anders begins to leisurely stroll around my room, looking at pictures, picking up little trinkets. He finds a picture of me and my brothers from childhood, smiling as he looks down at it.
“I have always been envious of the relationship you all have with each other.” His words are quiet, and I want to be annoyed by the subject change but I also want to know Anders—what he thinks, how he feels, all the little things about him that he doesn’t show the world. I haven’t truly admitted that to myself because that would mean I want more than this little arrangement, but his words are a reminder that I can’t deny: I want to know this man.
“How so?” I hear myself asking, pushing up on my elbows.
He peeks back over his shoulder. “Has Gabe ever told you about my family?”
I scrunch up my nose as I try to think back. Usually any nugget of information Gabe shared about Anders was well cataloged by me, but now that I think about it, I can’t recall a single thing about Anders’ life before coming to Hawthorne, so I shake my head.
“You know, your brother is a giant pain in my ass, but he’s the most loyal friend I’ve ever had. It shouldn’t surprise me that he keeps my secrets tight lipped, but it does.”
Secrets? What secrets?
Anders sets the photo back down on my dresser and then comes and lays down beside me, tracing my lips with his finger. “There’s a lot you don’t know about me. My childhood was nothing like yours. I did not grow up in a loving home, surrounded by siblings who cared for me, albeit the Bardot brothers sometimes have a fucked up way of showing it,” he says on a laugh. “Not at all saying you didn’t have your own trials.” He strokes my curls. “Your own wounds.” His hand comes to rest over my heart. “I would never make an assumption of what your life was like. But my parents were their own breed. Still are, actually.
“The day Gabe first brought me to Sunday dinner, I realized just how messed up my life had been. Unknowingly, you and your family changed my life, and I’ll forever be grateful for that.”
I turn and snuggle my face into his chest. This is not how I expected the first time having Anders in my bed to go, but the fact that he’s willing to share vulnerability with me is breaking down my defenses.
“Thank you for sharing that with me,” I mumble into his shirt. “You’re right, my childhood wasn’t perfect. I don’t think anyone’s is. But I have come to see just how special it was, and I’m sorry that you didn’t have the same experience.”
He lifts my chin up and presses his lips to mine. This kiss is gentle and tender. Gratefulness conveyed with soft touches. It feels meaningful, but quickly turns hungry.
“Alright, enough of that. Tell me, if I open that nightstand drawer, will I find anything useful in there?” he says with a wicked grin.
“Why don’t you open it and find out?”
And yes, it was extremely useful.