4. Morgan
Chapter 4
Morgan
I ’d thought when I started working at an animal charity after uni that there would be a lot more … well, animals. But instead of cuddling kittens and playing with puppies, it was mostly spreadsheets and being hung up on. Sure, I’d read the job description – “the Fundraising Manager’s role is to help create and maintain a pipeline of regular contributions to the organisation” – but I’d assumed the animal part came with the territory, even just in tiny doses.
Not that it mattered; I would have done pretty much any job if it meant Cara and I got to work together after uni. But now, four years later, Cara was gone, and I’d yet to be given an opportunity within my working hours to do anything with the animals themselves. Instead I ate lunch at my desk twice a week so I could use my break to go walk dogs at the actual rescue a few streets over.
Today I had Chloe with me for the first time – Cara had always been my Friday dog walking buddy – and we were walking four sausage dog mixes between us named Eeny, Meeny, Miny, and Moe. We were walking along the path that followed the River Wye through town, and even though it was only late May, the sun was beating down on us as if it were the height of summer. I was also being blinded by Chloe’s glossy red hair as the light bounced off of it.
“Last session was great,” Chloe said as we paused for Moe to do his business against a tree trunk. I tightened my grip on Eeny and Miny’s leads as they angled towards the river.
“Yeah, it really was,” I said. “Honestly, it’s pretty addictive. I wish I could play every day.”
Chloe laughed. “I’m sure you’d get sick of us,” she said, “and poor Fatima would have a full-time job preparing for our sessions. She spends enough of her time wrangling children; she doesn’t need five full-grown ones to deal with.”
“Very true.” But still, spending as much time as possible in that fantasy world, where I was strong and brave and badass, sure beat chasing down tiny pledges from people who didn’t even remember signing up to sponsor the charity, especially now that Cara was gone. At least I had Chloe, who had joined about a year ago.
Chloe turned around and started walking backwards in front of me, her bright red lips turned down in a frown, clearly picking up the angst I was putting down.
“Are you doing okay?” she asked. “I’m sure Cara leaving has been really hard.”
I scoffed, ready to brush it off. Chloe and I had never been close in that way; I’d never talked about my feelings with anyone but Cara, and even then it had always been half-veiled in jokes. But Chloe seemed to genuinely care about my answer, so I paused mid-shrug and nodded instead.
“Yeah, it’s been hard,” I admitted, “but she’s only in London. It’s not like she’s moved around the world.” I didn’t mention that, in the five days she’d been gone now, she’d only texted me back once, and missed two different FaceTime dates.
“Yeah, but you lived together and everything. Must feel like quite the change, even if she’s only a couple of hours away.”
“Yeah, I suppose.”
We rounded the corner back towards the rescue, and I reached out to grab the door, Eeny and Miny’s leads tangling in front of me as I did.
“Well, if you’re ever in the mood for company,” Chloe said as she strolled through the door I struggled to hold open, “the rest of us in the game hang out on the weekends sometimes, too. We’re actually going away this weekend – you should come if you’re free!”
I remembered hearing about that – hell, they’d planned it in front of me. Grey had a voucher for some holiday rental company that was expiring soon, so they’d picked a place less than an hour away on the river to spend the bank holiday weekend. They’d asked me then if I wanted to go, but like the pub invites, it had felt like a formality.
Luckily Lauren, whose shift at the front desk had apparently started whilst we were out, interrupted before I had to turn down the second invitation from Chloe this week.
“I’m glad you came back fast,” she said, flinging her head to the side to get her short, floppy blonde hair out of the way, presumably so she could better see the clipboard in her hands, where we’d signed in earlier. “We’ve got a couple of new dog arrivals that could use some love.”
“These guys only have little legs,” I said. “We figured they probably didn’t need as much as the bigger dogs.”
She looked up at the dogs we’d brought back, then at me, then at Chloe, where her eyes lingered for a fraction of a second longer than they had on me.
“Well, I’ve got some more little ones for you,” she said, leading us down the corridor of pens, back to business. We passed some of the rescues who had been there for months, most of whom were mongrels and senior dogs, and then a few pedigrees and puppies, who I knew would get snapped up straight away. She stopped at the last pen, inside which two small, long-haired dogs cowered in the corner. Their biscuit-coloured fur was tangled and matted, and they curled into one another as they looked up at us. A printed sign on the half-door said “Pablo I just nodded my agreement. Lauren wished us luck and shut us into the pen, looking back at Chloe as she left.
Chloe and I sat down against opposite sides of the pen, waiting for the pups to come to us. We made the compulsory kiss noises at them, but their disdain made it clear this would be a long game.
“Are you sure you don’t want to come this weekend?” Chloe asked as we settled in for the wait.
“That’s really kind of you,” I said, “but that’s in, like, fifteen hours, isn’t it? Plus, don’t feel like you have to invite me to everything.”
“I know I don’t have to do anything,” Chloe said, giving me a no-nonsense look across the pen that made me sit up a little straighter. “I mean, if I’m making you feel uncomfortable, just tell me and I’ll stop. But I’m inviting you because I think you would enjoy it. And we would, too.”
I wasn’t sure how to respond. Sure, until this week I’d had a perfectly good reason to turn down the invites. Cara and I had spent pretty much every evening together, and weekends, and holidays. Well, okay, I hadn’t actually taken a holiday in a few years; Cara had always wanted to go someplace interesting, and until the Ren Faire idea came up, I’d never been up for something that adventurous.
But now, that reason wasn’t there anymore. And if the invitation was genuine … well, that gave me something to think about, at least. Including how the others would feel; would Jack feel like I was being intrusive after his comment the other night?
Chloe took advantage of the lull to pull out her phone – “just wanna make sure Simone isn’t onto me for taking a double lunch,” she said – so I pulled mine out, too; maybe the dogs would be more likely to come to us if we were distracted. I did my usual rotation of social media apps, not lingering too long on any one thing. Then I opened up my email, making sure there wasn’t anything important in my work inbox before switching to my personal account.
There I found an email that made my blood run cold. It was from Cara’s mum, and the subject line was “Next steps for the house”.
The first question I’d asked Cara when she’d said she was moving away – well, after gushing about the new job and asking what I was meant to do without her – was about the house. She’d assured me they had no intention of renting it to anyone else, and that my rent was just enough to pay the mortgage. So I told myself as I psyched myself up to open it that it was probably just them reassuring me that I could stay on my own as long as I liked.
But apparently Cara had had no idea what she was talking about.
We’re so sorry to spring this on you so shortly after Cara has left, as I know the transition must be a challenge. But we’ve been advised that now is the best time to jump on this opportunity, so I’m afraid we’ll need to move fast. I’m afraid we’ll be selling the house now that Cara has moved out, so we’ll need your help with making sure it’s available and readied for viewings. Since you’re already on a month-to-month verbal agreement, I assume this won’t be an issue.
The first step will be having the estate agent come round to take pictures and measure in two weeks’ time. Please let me know some suitable times that day to have her come over; you’ll need to give her a spare key for viewings.
Thanks in advance for your help on this, Morgan.
The pen around me felt like it was closing in, and I was glad I was sat against the wall, because everything started to blur slightly. I realised I was breathing fast when I noticed Chloe scowling at me.
“Morgan, are you okay? Do you need some water?”
She held out her bottle of water to me, but I waved it off. “I’m okay,” I said, which was a lie, given that I couldn’t seem to take a proper breath.
Out of the corner of my vision, I saw a brown smudge come slowly over to me and settle on the ground beside me. It was Pablo. And not only did he lay down close enough to touch me, curling up like a little croissant, but then he stretched his head back and flopped it to the side, resting it on my thigh.
I reached over to pet him, slowly rubbing down his neck and across his side, and I forced myself to match my breathing to the strokes. In, out. In, out. After a moment, everything came back into focus, and I found that he had closed his eyes and seemed to be asleep.
“That’s incredible,” Chloe said, and I looked up to see her staring at me with wide eyes, her phone held up in front of her to take a picture. I did my best to smile, leaning my head down to be as close to Pablo as possible. I was sure it was a horribly awkward photo, but I did feel better, and it was pretty incredible that he’d come over to a stranger to help me calm down.
“Seriously, you’re the chosen one,” she said. “I’m so jealous.” She reached out to Percy as if to try to even it out, but Percy just backed into the corner and bared his teeth again.
“Smart dog,” I said, smirking at Chloe.
“Har, har,” she said. “But seriously, sorry if I stressed you out about this weekend. If it’s going to be uncomfortable, I can stop inviting you to stuff.”
“No, it wasn’t that,” I said, scratching under Pablo’s chin as he tilted his head back further towards me. “I just got some bad news.”
“I’m sorry,” she said, sitting forward in mild alarm. “Do we need to go?”
“No, no,” I reassured her, and she sat back again. “Just something I didn’t want to have to deal with.”
“Well then, sounds like you could use a distraction,” she said, holding up finger guns.
“Hah, maybe,” I said offhandedly. But then again, maybe I could use a distraction. I thought about going home and spending my first full weekend alone in the house – and a long one, at that – not only without my best friend, but also knowing that I was about to be kicked out of my home. I had no plans, which meant I’d have to spend the whole weekend cleaning for the stupid listing photos. It sounded like a recipe for a breakdown, which I clearly was on the verge of already.
“Are you sure there’s enough space?” I asked.
“Yes!” she said, clapping her hands together. “Does that mean you’ll come?!”
“And the rest of the group would be okay with me being there?” An image of Jack flashed through my mind, and I snagged ever so briefly on the idea of spending the entire weekend with him. But Chloe’s enthusiasm cut right through it.
“Absolutely!” she practically shouted, clapping some more. Percy, clearly thinking she was playing, came over and jumped up, putting his paws on her hands. She squealed with delight and waved her hands to make him dance around. “See? It’s clearly meant to be!”
“Clearly,” I said, smiling as I continued to stroke Pablo, who snoozed contentedly on my leg. I wasn’t sure if it was “meant to be” so much as “a passable excuse to avoid my house”, but either worked for me in the moment. Either one was a welcome escape.