Chapter 43
HOW TO SLAY YOUR DRAGON
Heath
The call happens two days later.
Mabel, in her wisdom, sent Cricket’s brother-in-law the world’s most terrible draft contract, and he demanded they have another call as soon as he read it.
She played him like a fiddle.
And now I’m in the corner of the office that Ginny usually uses, watching as Cricket hits the button to request entrance into the video call with Romeo.
My eye twitches. Every muscle in my body tenses, and my hand curls into a fist.
Cricket’s cool as ice.
She looks—she looks like she used to look in her lifestyle pieces.
Calm and put together and willing to roll with whatever happens.
Professional.
Fake.
The Cricket I know—that Cricket doesn’t need to be put together.
She does roll with anything that happens, but she doesn’t do it while posing for cameras.
While presenting a show for the world.
The Cricket I know—she lets herself be real. Unfiltered. And more unafraid by the day.
I see that in her now too.
It’s in the twitch of her lips as Romeo’s face flickers onto the screen.
He’s looking down at something, shifting in his chair, and he starts talking before even looking at her. “Philippa, this contract isn’t going to work. I have something you want. Now you need to meet my terms, or we’re—”
“So it really is you,” Cricket says calmly. “Does Aurora know?”
He shrieks.
Screams, really.
From the other corner of the room, Mabel smirks at me.
She’s recording the entire thing on her phone in case the recording she set up on the computer doesn’t work.
Backups.
“What the fuck?” Romeo says.
“I hear you’re selling your GrippaBeav channel,” Cricket says. “I want to make an offer.”
“Fuck,” Romeo says again, and then the screen goes blank.
Mabel rolls her eyes. “Amateur.”
Cricket looks at Mabel and holds up her own phone. “So now I hit send on this email?”
“If that’s how you want to handle it.”
Cricket made me, Mabel, Ginny, and Olivia all triple-check that she’d attached the right documents and that the email she drafted to her family was coherent and clear.
All she has to do is hit send if she wants to expose him to the whole family.
As Cricket looks at her phone, it rings in her hand.
I step closer.
Romeo.
He’s calling her.
She answers and puts him on speaker.
Mabel goes back to filming on her phone.
“Hello, asshole,” Cricket says.
“Shut up and listen,” he hisses. “This isn’t what you think.”
“Isn’t it? Because I think it’s you being the dicknugget who asked AI to animate my labia singing along and dancing to seventies’ disco hits and charging people fifty bucks a month to view them on , and is now trying to sell the channel to make yourself a few million dollars. Do I have that about right?”
“I said shut up and listen. You don’t know a fucking thing. You don’t know what my life is like.”
“I grew up with your wife. I can probably take a few guesses.”
I cover my mouth so I don’t audibly snicker.
Ginny’s beaming.
Samantha pumps a fist in the air.
Dad grins at me.
My parents love Cricket every bit as much as I thought they would.
Possibly more.
Mostly because it turns out she’s killer at karaoke, and she and Dad entertained us for hours last night.
Karaoke will always win them over.
“Do you know how fucking expensive medical school is? We’re drowning in debt—”
“And capitalizing on the very worst moment of my life is the only way to handle the consequences of your own decisions?” Cricket says.
“Quit being a bitch about this and help your family out,” he says.
I’m at her side before I realize I’ve moved, leaning over the back of her chair. “What the fuck did you just say to her?” I growl.
“Am I on speaker? Fucking dammit, Cricket, take me off—”
“Listen up, you puny little excuse of a human being,” I say. “If you don’t shut your fucking mouth and send Cricket every dime you made off of her, plus interest, I will be at your doorstep first thing in the morning with a few friends.”
“I don’t know who the fuck you think you are, but you don’t scare me.”
“Friends who have video of this call. Friends who can hack your computer. Friends who know how to drain your bank account and never get caught. Friends who will be lurking around every corner, watching and waiting for you to make a mistake that they’ll broadcast around the internet.
That I’ll feed into AI myself to make it ten times worse but still recognizable as you.
Your bosses will see. Your wife will see.
Your children will see. Your fucking dog will see.
You want to profit off of someone else’s life being ruined?
Let’s see how it feels when it’s your life being ruined. ”
“You don’t know a goddamn thing—”
“We know everything, Romeo,” Mabel says. “Everything.”
“I’m sending the email,” Cricket says to me.
For as furious as I am, it’s the most natural thing in the world to kiss her softly on the head. “That’s my girl.”
“Okay, fine, that was swoony,” Olivia says to Samantha.
“What email?” Romeo says. “Cricket, don’t—”
“Buh-bye, asswipe,” Cricket says cheerfully.
She hangs up on him, and then she hits send.
We all listen to the swooshing noise as the email heads out into the ether, all of the evidence Mabel gathered of Romeo’s betrayal included.
“I hope they believe us,” Samantha whispers.
“I’m not holding my breath,” Cricket says. “It’ll still be my fault for making the video to tempt him with.”
“I hate your family,” I mutter to her.
“My family is the best,” she replies, grinning up at me. “You. Lav. Fluffy. Mabel. Ginny. Olivia. Samantha. Dori. Pip. The Cluckinator. Rachelle. Elizabeth. Your parents. My soul sisters on the wall of shame. The best family. Those other people? They’re just relatives.”
It’s impossible to not kiss her.
This woman?
She has me captivated.
Heart.
Soul.
Mind.
Body.
She’s taught me how to live again.
How to take chances again.
And how to accept myself and my own flaws as much as I accept them in everyone else.