Chapter Two #2
Anne continued to peruse the list of guests then her gaze landed on one in particular. “Dear heavens, it’s him!”
“Who?” With an unconcerned air, her aunt refreshed her teacup.
“Mr. Broderick Cunningham.” She tapped a fingernail to the name scribbled on the paper.
“That’s the man who killed Alan.” Finally, she would be in the same place as the scoundrel, which meant she would have the opportunity to either make him pay or at least humiliate him in public so someone else could investigate her allegations.
“But what is this nonsense? Is he truly a duke?”
“What? By what title?”
“The Duke of Udolpho.”
“Good heavens. Of course that’s not a legal title.” Aunt Mildred shook her head. “Oh, that must have been given to him from the club owner. I remember my husband telling me that the founder wished for all the men to be on equal footing.”
“Ah.” No wonder she could never find him while moving through society! He went by a completely different title, but to find out that he’d called himself a duke? That was beyond annoying.
“Give it up for your own peace of mind, dear. It won’t do to make a scene in front of all society.” She took a sip of tea. “This will only rot your brain further when you should concentrate on settling down, putting the grief behind you, and starting a family.”
As if that was the only thing women were good for in society. “You never had children.”
“No, I didn’t, but not for lack of trying.” A fleeting sadness moved through her aunt’s expression. “My body wasn’t capable of allowing a pregnancy to happen, and even through three husbands, there was no miracle cure, so I put my time and effort into you and your siblings.”
There was that. “I appreciate that you’ve been in our lives, especially after Mama died.
” Having her father’s sister popping over or the chance to go over to her townhouse had always meant adventures and treats.
“But, Auntie, I can’t let this go. I must at least confront this false duke in public and make him accountable.
Alan was my brother and my best friend, then he was killed under suspicious circumstances.
I never believed the letter Prinny’s people sent saying he was killed in service to his country, for he never went to war. ”
“That very well might be so, but why was he in France?”
“Do we even know for certain that he was?” Anne folded the list of ball guests.
“Perhaps the government lied about him being killed.” For one shining moment, the thought that her brother was living happily somewhere in the world in secret for some reason glimmered through her mind.
Then reality came crashing back down, for she knew it in her soul that Alan was dead.
The connection between them had been severed.
“What does it matter now? That was five years ago. Alan is not coming back.”
A wave of grief swept over her. “It matters to me.” The words came out in a choked whisper as tears welled in her eyes.
“Grief has no end, and I will mourn for my brother for the rest of my life.” She shook her head.
“I want justice or at least closure. And perhaps to stab the man responsible for his death with a fork.”
Aunt Mildred’s lips quivered, but she didn’t smile. “You need to move on, live your own life. I’m definitely going to introduce you to the captain I told you about. I think you’ll get on well with him.”
“Oh, Auntie, I don’t know…”
The older woman nodded. “Yes, this is exactly what you need. He is what you need.” She winked. “In more ways than one, I’ll wager.”
Anne kept her own counsel on that. “You know my work at the soldier’s clinic takes up part of my time.
I don’t know that I need to take on a courtship in addition to that.
” After Alan’s death, she’d needed something to fill her time, so when one of her friends told her that their brother had opened a clinic for returning and injured soldiers, she’d pushed and prodded until the doctor had accepted her in.
She’d learned a few nursing skills, but mostly she was there to sit with the patients, listen to their stories, and try to offer them the comfort of understanding.
In that small way, she hoped that the things they struggled with internally would lessen.
“Once you find yourself engaged, you need not work there any longer. You will have other interests to fill your time.” One of her aunt’s eyebrows rose again. “You could do with the attentions of a man who has a fair amount of skill in the bedroom.”
“Aunt Mildred!” Heat jumped into Anne’s cheeks. “Why would you say such a thing? For all your talk of being proper, this isn’t a conversation we should be having.”
“Why not? Perhaps if more women were honest about such things, we wouldn’t have such problems in society that we do.” Her aunt didn’t look at all sorry. “Just say you promise to give me the benefit of the doubt and let me introduce you to the captain.”
“Fine.” Good heavens. Had she thought about what it might feel like to have a man in her bed with his hands on her body?
Of course. She was firmly on the shelf, and had even done some exploration on her own form to bring her comfort and relief when the nights grew long and were unbearably lonely, but she also knew it would have to suffice. “And my gown is quite lovely.”
“I’m glad.” Her aunt nodded. “Will you join your family for Christmas at your father’s country estate? Obviously, you are welcome to stay here with me. I wouldn’t mind the company, and frankly, out of all my nieces, you are my favorite.”
“Ah.” Yet Anne couldn’t help her grin. “I have no plan of going anywhere. Being in the country with all of them doesn’t appeal to me, and I simply can’t return to that house.
” Knots pulled in her belly when she recalled the abuse she’d gone through as a child there.
“You know why I can’t abide the holiday season, and especially why I can never make myself return to the manor. ”
And if she was fortunate, she never would step foot there again.
Slowly, Aunt Mildred nodded. “I do, but eventually, you’ll need to forgive your father as well as your stepmother.”
“I don’t know if I can.” Even now, all these years later, sour bile hit the back of her throat, and the urge to cast up her accounts grew strong. Hastily grabbing her teacup, she took a large swallow of tepid tea.
“It will do wonders to setting your mind free, and perhaps you’ll be able to sleep through the night and find a modicum of peace.” Concern went through her aunt’s expression. “I worry about you. No one should suffer nightmares from their past.”
“I agree, but those years cut deep, and those specters are mine alone. Forgiveness seems far too good for the two of them.” When her stepmother had been her governess, the horrors had started when the woman decided to pursue Anne’s father, and it had been three years of constant anxiety until she’d gone away to finishing school.
“Perhaps I need a catalyst that will force me to take stock of who I am and who I wish to be, despite the ghosts that still haunt me.”
Was that even possible? Only time would tell.