Chapter Seven #2
Heat went up the back of his neck. “It’s a peace offering.
As I said, early morning rides help me to sort my thoughts and comb through the rising darkness.
I, uh…” He forced a swallow into his suddenly dry throat.
“I apologize for what I did to you yesterday, for what I took from you without permission.”
Shock reflected in her eyes. “You told me it was your right as my husband.”
“I shouldn’t have said it.” The heat of shame expanded in his chest. When she didn’t take the offered holly branches, he cast about the room for some sort of vessel he could use.
Finally, a passing maid took apparent pity on him.
She retrieved the branches from him, said she’d put them in a vase and bring them back.
“Thank you.” With a sigh, Dante moved to the sideboard. He poured himself a cup of coffee and returned to the table, where he pulled out a chair across from his wife, and then he heavily sat. To Anne he said, “I was an arse.”
“Yes, you were.” She nodded. “And I have a feeling you still are. One day isn’t going to change that.”
He looked at her from over the brim of his coffee cup. How was it that her tart mouth and clever replies had his blood nearly humming with arousal? “I am telling you that I need to change. Though I might not know how, the thought is there. Isn’t that enough?”
“Mmm.” She sipped her tea. “It’s a start that you’ve admitted it.”
The maid returned with the holly branches along with a few dried birch twigs arranged in a tall vase with a green glaze. “Where would you like this displayed, Mr. Cunningham?”
He gestured at Anne. “Please refer all decorating decisions to my wife.” Perhaps if he included her in his life, made certain she felt as if it was their life combined, she would soften toward him and come to forgive him.
In time.
“Oh.” Another round of surprise appeared on Anne’s face. “Why don’t we put them in the middle of this table for now? Later, I might want them in a different room.”
“Of course.” The maid deposited the vase where instructed. “Will there be anything else, Mrs. Cunningham?”
“Not just yet, Doris. Thank you.”
How the devil had she already learned the names of his staff? It had taken him months, for all the maids looked the same. When the maid exited the room, he took another large gulp of his coffee. “Will you talk with me for a few moments?”
“I will,” she said with a nod.
When he reached out a hand to brush his fingertips along the section of her neck where the slight bruise was, she gasped and moved away from his touch.
“Again, I apologize.” Never in his life had he apologized to a woman.
“My ire for being forced into this union got the better of me and I lashed out in anger, took out my emotions on you.” He pressed his lips together.
“I was also protesting the fact that I refuse to be forced into love.”
“Why is that? Did you have a fiancée in the past?” As she glanced at him, she refreshed the tea in her cup.
“I…”
She sucked in a breath as she gawked at him. “You did?”
“Not exactly.” God, he didn’t want to talk about this now. “There was a woman years ago, but then fate intervened, and she died.” Even though it had been five years ago, it still felt raw at times. “And yes, that was part of the reason I didn’t want this marriage.”
For the space of a few heartbeats, she held his gaze. “What was another reason?”
Would she think him too broken if he admitted the truth? On the other hand, what was the difference if he told her now as opposed to later? “I largely consider myself far too broken to put that burden on someone else.”
“Oh.” After taking a sip of her tea, she set the cup into the saucer. “Broken in what way?”
“My soul is black, Anne. I’ve done horrible things in my past, things ordered of me at times by my superiors, and even past that.
Things I still do upon occasion.” He peered into the depths of his coffee cup.
“Once my commission expired, I was selected to become a spy, and what was more, I had an affinity for that sort of clandestine work. In the end, it took more from me than I was willing to give, and now I’m haunted by some of those decisions. ”
“I can understand how that would make a man leery of being suddenly attached to someone.” She drew a fingertip around the rim of her teacup.
“I have things in my past that have probably hindered my own maturity at times.” However, she didn’t elaborate.
“One of the reasons I didn’t wish to marry was the fear of having my freedom cut short. ”
He nodded. “I had that same worry, but for different reasons, no doubt.” Odd that they could find common ground in that.
“For far too long, I’ve been alone and honestly thought I was an unwanted spinster at eight and twenty.
” When she shrugged, one side of her ivory shawl slipped from a shoulder.
“I couldn’t ever see myself matched to anyone, let alone a man that I wanted to hate on sight.
” As he attempted to interrupt, she held up a hand.
“I haven’t forgotten what you’ve done; I don’t wish to discuss it right now.
Suffice it to say, I assist a few times a week at a clinic for returning and injured soldiers.
One of my brother’s friends runs the place, and it’s a subject dear to my heart for obvious reasons.
” Her dark blue gaze bored into his. “You may do whatever you want with me, but please don’t forbid me from going there. ”
It was his turn to have shock slam into him. “I had no idea you championed a cause.”
She nodded. “Sometimes it’s the only thing that keeps me sane in this world.”
God, he understood that more than he could say.
“By all means, keep on. I won’t prevent you from doing whatever you wish.
” Feeling as if he might cast up his accounts, he quickly took a gulp of coffee.
“As for the other thing, I won’t force myself on you.
If we come together again, it will be from mutual desire, and you will clearly need to voice your agreement. ”
“That is acceptable.”
“Uh, how are you feeling today? Please tell me if I caused you undo pain or aggravation.”
“I am well enough. It was quite eye-opening yesterday, but not fully unpleasant.”
“Ah.” What else could he say about that?
Her eyes lit. “What are your plans for today? It is our first day as a married couple. We should at least spend some sort of time together.” Then she frowned. “I assume we aren’t leaving on a wedding trip?”
Even in this, he’d mucked it up. “We are not. It is winter, and I would have no idea where you might enjoy going besides.” Once more their gazes met. “If you want to travel, I wouldn’t mind setting that into motion.”
She nodded. “It is something we can talk about, and thank you for that.”
“You’re welcome.” After another sip of coffee, he said, “I have a meeting with my solicitor since my status has changed. There are a few legal things I need to attend to, but after that, my time is my own.”
“Very well. I shall look for you this afternoon.” Slowly, Anne rose to her feet. She offered a faint smile when he scrambled to his. “I need to meet with the housekeeper, the cook, and the butler to discuss how I should run the household and to understand everyone’s roles.”
“I’m sure you’ll do well with that, and if you should require assistance, let me know.” It was far too formal of a conversation, but it was a start.