Chapter Sixteen
Later that night
Dante’s heart beat frantically as if he’d run home from France as he moved upstairs at Anne’s side.
After that spill he’d taken down the stairs at Deviney’s home, realities and priorities had shifted and shuffled inside his brain. Despite his past, despite everything that had put black stains upon his soul, he knew exactly where he wanted his future to go, and it required Anne to be with him.
In fact, he needed her in all the ways that mattered.
As the long-case clock on the floor below chimed the eleventh hour of the night, he stayed her movement in front of his door by taking her hand and then tugging her into his darkened suite.
Seconds later, he removed his gloves and tossed them in the direction of a small, round table.
No candles burned, for most of the servants were enjoying time with their families, and additionally, he and Anne hadn’t been expected back until after midnight.
But the faint moonlight filtering through the falling snowflakes made a lacy shadowy effect on the window glass.
“Will you stay with me tonight?” He felt like a green youth with his first woman, but he couldn’t help it. His nerves were strung too tight, and he wasn’t sure of himself, for he suspected the answer meant more than just for Christmas night.
“I will.” As she removed her own gloves, she watched him in the shadows. “Since I haven’t had a moment to shop for a gift for you, I’ll offer myself to do with as you please.”
“Oh.” While shock filled his chest, pure lust shot through his shaft to press it against the front of his evening breeches.
Making certain the door closed behind them, Dante then guided her toward the bed.
Unable to think of the words needed in such a hushed moment, he didn’t even try.
Instead, he hooked a hand around Anne’s nape and yanked her against his body as he claimed her lips with his, drank from her as if she would suddenly vanish into thin air.
She apparently was of the same mind, for she returned his overture with matching enthusiasm while divesting him of the cravat and collar.
The brush of her fingers over the skin she exposed sent shudders down his spine.
“When you fell down the stairs, I was so frightened,” she admitted in a barely audible whisper.
“It wasn’t my intention to do that. I simply was hurrying to get back to you.
” He guided his lips around the edge of her low bodice.
“I meant to tell you earlier this evening that your gown is quite beautiful,” he whispered against her lips.
“The red and gold together makes you as elegant as a duchess, which is what you would have been had I been a true duke.” The fact she’d worn the ruby necklace and bracelet as well wasn’t lost on him.
“You are still a duke to me.” When she looked up at him, met and held his gaze, he nearly tripped into the dark sapphire pools.
“Devilish, dark, haunted, it doesn’t matter.
” She worked the buttons of his tailcoat from their holes then shoved the garment from his shoulders and down his arms. “I’m content to be your duchess in private.
” Then she worked the laces at the back of his waistcoat.
“Are you certain you wish to be intimate after hitting your head?”
“Yes.” After pressing a line of tiny kisses beneath her jaw, he said, “The bump hurts but not overly much, and there’s a bit of an ache in my head.” He kissed her again. “Doesn’t matter. I want this; want you, for there is much I need to say, I think.”
“I do as well, but I want you to claim my body first because I want… everything, I suppose. Judge me if you will.”
“There is nothing to judge you for. It is bonding.”
“Perhaps.” Finally divesting him of the golden brocade waistcoat, she yanked the tails of his shirt from his evening breeches. “There is time enough for everything.”
Not to be outdone, Dante tugged at the laces on the back of her gown, and when the bodice gaped, he had it up and off her body in a twinkling. It joined the growing pile of clothing at their feet. “Do you speak of beyond tonight?” He had to know.
“Is that what you want?” She toed off her slippers. “A future together? A real union?”
Was it? Perhaps it was past time for him to be truthful, to her and to himself. “I…” It was all he could manage just now as he removed his own shoes as well as hosiery. “Once I put you through your paces, my mind will be clearer and then I can find the words I need.”
“Oh.” Apprehension jumped into her expressive sapphire eyes, evident in the dull illumination from the moonlight. “Are you inferring that you don’t wish to be married to me any longer? That we’ve made a mistake?”
How could she think that? “No, sweeting, no.” He shook his head.
“I’ve thought over my next words a million times over on the ride to our home, and yet I still find myself tongue-tied.
” Then he sighed. “Yet words escape me because this subject is so weighty.” As he spoke, he removed his lawn shirt. “And important.”
“Agreed.” With his help, she wriggled out of her stays. “Yet I’m hoping you and I are of the same mind. Why we’re both reticent is beyond me.”
“We’re broken, I suspect, and trust doesn’t come easily.”
“True.” She nodded. “We might as well have this conversation so we can move on to the physical. After this week, after seeing you unconscious, I don’t want to lose you, Broderick.
More than that, I wish to remain your wife for the rest of my life.
” She frowned, and he nearly lost his nerve at that pout of her kissable lips. “Shall I say more?”
How much did he adore her? “Have I mucked things up too much?”
“No, but we need to be perfectly clear with each other so there are no misunderstandings.” Anne smiled, and his world tilted. “Go deep and try. I need to hear the words. So do you, I think.”
With shaking hands, he divested her of the petticoat and her shift until she stood completely nude before him.
Immediately, a faint floral scent wafted to his nose that would forever remind him of her even if he didn’t know what sort of flower it was.
“I am nothing, Anne, and broken, with a blackened soul.” As difficult as it was for him to say, it was the truth and there was no hiding it. “I don’t deserve you.”
“Oh, Broderick.” She took his hand in hers.
“We are both broken, and what’s more, in order to survive this life, I believe we all must have some level of that within us.
” She squeezed his hand. “I prefer a man who has been tried and tested by life like I have.” A blush stained her cheeks, but her eyes gleamed like polished gems. “We started off this week as enemies, but when I saw you sprawled motionless of the floor tonight…” Her voice broke.
“I realized there is no one in this world I would rather go through life with. Fighting with me, fighting for me, it’s you.
” With a shrug, she caught her bottom lip between her teeth. “That is all.”
What did one say to that? So many emotions welled in his chest that his first instinct was to fight them, keep them tamped down so she wouldn’t see. “I want more for our future.”
“More than what? I’m confused.”
“As am I.” The fact she only wanted him humbled the hell out of him.
“I don’t know what to say.” Even now, his mind refused to form words, and to his horror, moisture welled in his eyes.
“It’s well past time to tell you what’s been on my heart since the night you comforted me from the nightmare. I’m summoning the courage to tell you.”
“Oh?”
He swallowed hard. “I am rapidly and quite heavily falling in love with you.”
“You are?”
“Yes, and I don’t want you to look at anyone else.
You are mine, and I want everything that life will grant me—together with you.
” He paused to organize his thoughts. She was who he wanted—needed.
“I suspect you are my life, Anne. Or rather, you’ve given pieces of it back to me.
” Peering deep into those blue eyes he would see forever in his dreams, there was no place he would rather be.
“I might still believe I’m not worthy of you, that I’ll never be able to find redemption, that I might never be the sort of man to live a decent life, but at the end of the day, all I need is you to come home to. ”
“Oh, Broderick. That was the most romantic speech I’ve ever heard.
” Tears filled her eyes, which shone with such love that he was afraid he might be lost in them.
“I should probably tell you now what I have only just discovered.” She brought his fingers to her lips, kissed them.
“I am very nearly fully in love with you. Your past, my past, what we’ve both done doesn’t matter, because I love you.
Whole or not, you are who I would have chosen for myself if I wasn’t forced to wed you. ”
She loves me.
For the first time since he lost Pauline, he let himself believe it was possible again. His chest was tight, and his heart squeezed so hard it pained him. “I will forever strive to be worthy of your trust, your heart, your love.”
“You already are. Despite what you did to Alan, I can’t help but love you because there is something in your soul that calls out to mine.
” When he gawked, she nodded with such enthusiasm that a lock of her hair slipped to her shoulder from its pins.
“That is all. Now there is truly nothing else to say.” Then she looked at him with those bright, gorgeous eyes, and he could deny her nothing.
“I will spend the rest of my life doing whatever you desire.” And he fully believed it, couldn’t wait to start.
She nodded. “How shall we start, I wonder?”
Desire shoved through his member, so he quickly removed the remainder of his clothing. “Shall I show you the depths of my regard, then?”
Her grin was this side of wicked. “I hoped you would finally get ‘round to it.” She winked. “The quicker, the better.”