Chapter 2
Y vonne woke up a short time later, feeling a little groggy but more refreshed. She shifted in the high-tech hospital bed and shuddered as the pain skittered up her spine.
Almost immediately she heard someone say, “I saw that.”
She looked over to see Shane in her doorway. “Coming here, I wondered if your still being here was a good thing or a bad thing,” she admitted, with half a smile. “You made my life better in so many ways, and yet the rehab process was not easy.”
“Sorry,” he replied, “none of this process is easy.”
“Isn’t that the truth,” she muttered, “but I’m here now. So hopefully you can do your worst, and it won’t be half as bad as what I’ve already been through recently.”
“Hey,” he protested. “Surely it can’t be that bad to see me.”
She smiled at him. “It’s not that bad, but it’s not that great either.”
He nodded. “Let’s hope we can get you back on your feet pretty fast,” he began. “I’m waiting on the updated medical records, since they didn’t come with you.”
“Not surprised,” she noted, yawning.
He frowned at her and asked, “You need food?” He looked over at the muffin on her bedside table. “Or did somebody bring you something?”
“That’s from Dennis earlier this morning.”
“Good. You two all okay?”
She smiled at him and nodded. “It’s all okay. With Dennis, everything’s always okay.”
“He hurts and bleeds like every other man,” Shane shared. “He just doesn’t show it.”
She stopped, startled. Then she sighed. “That’s a very good point. I didn’t mean to belittle him in any way.”
“I hear that,” Shane replied. “You want to tell me where your major problems are today?”
“The leg and the hip,” she pointed out. “I did get a hip replacement, where they found bone spurs and scraped those off the pelvic girdle,” she explained, her words rushed, trying to tell him all she’d been through. “My priority is making sure I’m back up on my feet and strong again.”
“Got it.”
“It’s everything to me,” she whispered, “that whole independence thing again.”
He nodded. “And what if you can’t?”
“Then I won’t be terribly happy,” she muttered. “However, if that’s all I get for a choice, it doesn’t really matter, does it?”
“We’ll do everything we can to get you back in form,” he stated. “We also know that sometimes things don’t go quite the way that you want them to.”
“Is that a warning?” she asked, staring at him.
“No, I just want to ensure your expectations are reasonable.”
She sighed again. “You always were big on that.”
“Until I see those records, I don’t want you to do all this work with an idea that you’ll walk away scot-free,” he clarified, “because you and I both know that won’t happen in every situation.”
“No, you’re right,” she confirmed, “and I also admit that I wasn’t the best at maintaining all those exercises you sent me home with.”
“What?” he asked in mock horror.
She smiled. “As if you haven’t heard that a time or two.”
“No, not at all,” he quipped, with an eye roll. “Everybody starts with the best of intentions, and that momentum goes downhill very quickly when living a life.”
“I did have the best of intentions,” she noted. “Yet I didn’t realize just how quickly life gets in the way.”
“And that’s what life’s all about,” he said, with a smile. “It’s about challenges. It’s about striving to do more and to be better, and very quickly some of what you started out doing ends up going by the wayside because there’s just no time for it.”
She nodded. “That feels about right,” she agreed. “And it’s sad because we need more hours in life, but, by the time you work and clean and cook and take care of everything else that has to be done, it just seems as if nothing is left.”
“And because nothing is left, what goes first is your health,” he noted, with a nod. “But you’re back, and this is a refresher course.”
She smiled. “And a part of me says I don’t deserve it.”
He frowned at that. “Why on earth not?”
She shrugged. “I guess I feel, if I had done my exercises routinely, my reflexes would have been faster, better, stronger. So I could have sidestepped that car, and I wouldn’t have been wiped out quite so badly.”
“Wow,” he murmured. “That’s a lot of guilt to carry on your shoulders.” She stared at him, but he shrugged. “Life happens. Maybe your reflexes weren’t as good as you think they should be, but maybe they’re better than what so many other people’s are. Maybe if it had been anybody else, they might’ve died from that accident,” he suggested. “So why don’t we park the guilt and do our best to just see how far we can bring you? Barring any surprises in your latest medical records, nothing you’ve mentioned here sounds terrible. It all is quite doable, and, for that, I’m very grateful because it could have been so much worse.”
“Really?” she asked, staring at him hopefully.
“Absolutely. Obviously I’m not minimizing what’s going on in your body,” he clarified, “but we can fix an awful lot of things in our rehab program.”
“I’m glad to hear that,” she replied, bolstered for once.
“Are you ambulatory?”
“Some, not really,” she replied, “and that’s one of the problems. Of course, right after the hip surgery, they made me get up and down all the time.”
“Sure, blood clots form, and all kinds of other medical headaches happen,” he noted. “Yet you came in here not on a gurney but under your own power. What was that about?”
“Stubbornness. Plus, I can’t sit for very long,” she shared. “So it’s either lie down, or get up and down all the time.”
“Right.” Shane nodded. “Let’s see if we can get a wheelchair and get you up and at least down for breakfast.”
She waited until he came back with a wheelchair for her. “I am ambulatory in the sense that I can get to the bathroom,” she added. “I had a walker, and that helped sometimes. Of course my prosthetic was damaged in the accident, so the one I have is temporary and doesn’t fit well.”
“Don’t worry about it,” Shane noted. “We’ll start this way in the wheelchair and take a look and just see how many problems you might have trying to do what you need to do, and we’ll go from there.”
Feeling a little bit better after their talk, Shane got her into the wheelchair and then pushed her to the dining room. “I can push myself,” she stated.
“I’m sure you can, and, even if you can’t, you’ll power through to prove that you can, right?”
“Ouch,” she muttered.
“Hey, I haven’t forgotten how stubbornly independent you are,” he declared. “I’m not trying to push your buttons either. I’m just not sure how much of this is at the same level of importance as it was to you before.”
“Wow, I made quite an impression back then, didn’t I?” And even saying that was hard because she had been very strict about being independent.
“Not everybody can be independent all the time,” Shane pointed out, “and everybody needs some help some of the time.”
“Right,” she murmured. “Let’s hope that we can find a middle ground.” He chuckled at that, and, as they neared the dining room, the noise surprised her. “Well,” she said, “some things you never forget.”
“What’s that?” he asked.
“The noise for one. Coming in here at mealtimes, the din always bothered me.”
“A din,” he repeated. “The actual noise? Does it bother your ears?”
“I never really made a big thing out of it,” she replied, “but it was one of the reasons I would skedaddle on back to my room as much as I did.” He frowned at her, but she shrugged. “It wasn’t anything worth talking about.”
“Says you,” he countered. “Those things make a difference to us.”
“Maybe, but it’s not as if all that noise could change, not just for me.”
“Maybe not, maybe it’s low on your priority list right now. However, you do realize that your hearing and your balance are linked, right? Regardless, that hearing sensitivity you have isn’t something you just have to live with, and it doesn’t mean we couldn’t do something to minimize it.”
She shrugged. “It doesn’t matter.” She was more disturbed right now to feel the fatigue hitting her again, just from sitting upright in a wheelchair. She shifted uneasily in the chair.
“How long can you handle sitting?” Shane asked.
“Half an hour to forty-five minutes,” she shared. “Other than that I’ve got to get up and move around or lie down.”
“Good enough. So you’ll make it through breakfast?”
“I’ll make it through breakfast,” she confirmed, with a nod. As she got into the dining room, Dennis stared directly at her. She sucked in her breath.
Shane placed his hand gently on her shoulder and asked her again, from a different perspective, “Will you make it through breakfast?”
She let out a long, slow breath. “Yes, at least, I think so.” She looked back up at him and frowned. “Some days are easier than others.”
“Yeah, and, once you get used to being around Dennis again, you’ll be fine. However, after today? The two of you need to work it out.”
“And if there’s nothing to work out?”
“Then you won’t have to worry about it, will you?” he teased, with a chuckle. “Besides, there are good and bad things about all this. Maybe this is a good thing.”
“Maybe,” she conceded, “but it feels as if I hurt him.”
He stared down at her. “Maybe then, this is a chance for you to un hurt him.”
She chuckled at that. “I don’t even know why I’m laughing, because really, this is not funny.”
“It’s not funny,” Shane agreed, “but it is life. And right now it’s facing you. So it’s up to you as to how you want to go forward.”
She winced at that. “Everything’s not quite so easy or so straightforward.”
“No, but with Dennis it usually is.”
She stared up at the huge man, busily serving people in line, and nodded. “He’s always been very straightforward, hasn’t he?”
“That’s one word for it, and yet I would not in any way make him out to be so simple.”
She chuckled. “Dennis is very complex,” she agreed. “A fascinating, frustrating, but incredibly complex man.”
“Ah, sounds as if you do know him well.”
“As you are well aware,” she stated crossly, “I do know him very well.”
*
It took away Dennis’s breath to see her come into his dining room again. He plastered on a smile, although he wanted to race over and give her a big hug and ask if he could do anything to make her day better. However, he already knew that she was as prickly as a cactus five years ago and hadn’t changed any. So, if she didn’t want help, she by God didn’t want help and don’t anybody dare suggest otherwise.
Dennis almost smiled at the memory. And caught sight of her again. They studied each other for a long moment across the huge room. And then Shane spoke to Yvonne, before leaving her to join Dani in a private discussion. Yvonne wheeled slowly forward, getting into line at the buffet, and eventually in front of Dennis.
He nodded to her. “Did you have a good rest?”
“As well as I can expect,” she replied.
He had tried to keep his tone neutral, when, of course, he wanted to know everything about her. Still, he also knew that going down that pathway could be incredibly painful. Just because he loved somebody didn’t mean that now was the time or the place to discuss it. He’d already been there once before, and her rejection had been devastating—as all of his friends here knew.
She looked down at the food, seeing what was on offer this morning.
He asked, “Do you have an appetite?”
“I do, but my digestive tract isn’t doing all that great after my latest accident.” He stared at her, but she shrugged and continued. “You would think the original injury would have done enough damage, yet I came through that okay,” she shared. “Now, the car accident? I lost a chunk of my liver, and I lost my spleen. On top of that, my gallbladder’s got days where it doesn’t remember to function.”
“Interesting,” Dennis murmured. “You’re on a special diet then?”
“Definitely need easy-on-the-stomach type foods.” She opted for a bowl of scrambled eggs and then a little bit of yogurt and fresh fruit.
He quickly served her what she needed and asked, “Can you take it over on your own?”
“I can,” she replied. “I can even walk short distances. However, the problem is walking back to my room. Plus, sitting for very long periods doesn’t do me any good.” But she accepted the tray with bowls of food and moved her way to the drinks station, grabbing a bottled water. She looked around to see who she could sit with.
Shane and Dani were busy talking at the other end of the dining room, all by themselves. It seemed to be a private discussion. And, of course, Dennis was busy. However, Yvonne heard a startled gasp and turned to see Stan.
He took one look at her and immediately walked over, bent down, and gave her a hug. “When we see people leave, the last thing we want, even though we don’t mean it personally, is to see them back here for medical reasons. The grapevine didn’t come to my corner and let me know that you were here,” he muttered, almost affronted.
She smiled. “It doesn’t take long for the news to travel around Hathaway House.”
“No, not at all,” he agreed. “Hang on while I go grab some food, and I’ll sit with you.” And, with that, he disappeared.
Yvonne had to admit it was nice to have a friend to join her at mealtimes. As he soon sat down beside her with a plate of bacon and eggs and sausages, she shook her head. “How is it that you never gain any weight?”
“Lots of us who live and work here don’t. I figure it’s all the running around we do. We are on our feet an awful lot,” he suggested. “I mean, look at Dennis. He’s still the same size he always has been.”
She didn’t need to have that pointed out. She’d already checked him out pretty carefully as soon as she’d seen him. She smiled over at Stan and changed the subject. “How’s work?”
“Crazy busy,” he replied cheerfully, “but that’s a good thing.”
“And you still love what you’re doing? You’re still happy with your decision to be here?”
“Absolutely,” he declared. “And you went back to school and became what?” he asked.
“A computer programmer,” she stated, with a wry smile. “All the hours killed me. I had a lot to learn, and that was all done in my spare time.”
He nodded. “From everything I’ve heard about going back to school and starting over again, that has to be one of the hardest to get through.”
“It is,” she agreed, “and it’s not something that I can’t change. I just need to get into an easier job.”
“Right.” Stan nodded. “And you’re here now because…?” He shook his head. “Is this a relapse?”
“No, the result of a car accident.” Whatever he’d been expecting to hear, obviously her response wasn’t it.
His jaw dropped, and he stared at her. “Oh, good Lord, no.”
She nodded. “I was on the crosswalk when I got hit by a drunk driver.”
“Oh my goodness. After everything you’ve already been through?”
“I know. Life’s a bit of a… Life’s got a strange sense of humor, doesn’t it? I’m here because Dani fit me in.”
“That’s a good thing,” Stan noted.
“I know. I definitely did not want to come back to rehab, or to fail, or to get into an accident, or anything like that.” She sighed. “Still, it’s great to have as many friends here as I do,” she murmured. “But being here as a rehab patient?… It was hard work last time, and a part of me says I’m not up for it this time.”
He stared at her in astonishment and then shook his head. “That’s not the woman I knew. She was up for everything.”
“And she got old and tired and worn down. She spent so much time trying to achieve that she forgot to live.”
“Ah,” he murmured. “So maybe it’s a good thing you’re here right now, to give you a chance to regroup, to figure out where you want to go from here, and to choose a new life that’s hopefully not quite so crazy.”
“Is that possible?” she asked.
“I think so,” he stated. “I mean, we all should have some joy in life, outside of just the work that we love.”
And, with that, she watched as one of the veterans in a wheelchair moved past her. He was missing an arm and both legs. “Listen to me, complaining. Then I look at so many people here who are worse off than me physically. Even after the car accident, taking a severe hit in so many ways, I’m still way better off than a lot of people here.”
She shuddered as she thought about it because she’d come close to losing two limbs, but Shane had determined that she should keep the one leg that had caused her a lot of trouble and the arm that had refused to cooperate for a long time. Now they both functioned decently.
“And so you are dealing with the same injuries again?” Stan asked.
“No, and I should be very grateful for that because the recent set of surgeons didn’t quite understand why those body parts hadn’t been affected. Yet I’m sure Shane would say it’s because of all the rehab work that we did ahead of time, which was why those parts of my body were doing as well as they were.” Yvonne shrugged. “Now it’s basically my lower back and hips.”
“And that is really no surprise,” Stan noted. “Whenever car accidents are involved, the back and hips seem to always be affected.” Stan shook his head. “And some of those injuries can be absolutely brutal.”
She smiled. “Some of them? I’m hoping Shane can pull another miracle out of a hat.”
“Well, if anybody can,” Stan declared cheerfully, “you know it’ll be Shane. At least you’re not bothered about being here.”
“I was, for all of five minutes,” she shared, with a laugh. “Then I very quickly realized all the benefits that I had the first time around, and I’m still hoping I’ll get those this second time around.” She watched as Stan polished off his breakfast. “And, besides,” she added in a teasing tone, “it’s really nice to have a chance to reconnect with friends.”
He raised his eyebrows. “We were always here,” he pointed out.
“I know, but, after I left”—her gaze drifted to Dennis—“it felt as if I needed to leave -leave.”
“But you didn’t have to cut all ties,” Stan argued, “not in any way. That was always just your perception.”
“And yet when it is a perception,” she countered, “I took it that way, right or wrong, and it’s very hard to come back from that.”
“And yet now you’re here,” Stan noted cheerfully. “So that part’s already taken care of.”
She smiled at him, happy to see him accept her unconditionally. She shook her head at herself. Just another character flaw that I need to work on .
Stan gathered his dishes again on his tray. “I’ve got to get back to work. I’ve got a busy day. You know the drill. Come down anytime you want. We’re more than happy to see you, and so are the animals.” And, with that, he hopped up and took off.
She sat here with the rest of her meal, wishing she’d picked up a coffee to sit and enjoy afterward, but it was over on the far side, and a lot of people were around that drinks station. So she would wait for that area to clear a bit. It was foolish to be so hyperaware of every movement that Dennis made, but that’s just the way it was for Yvonne. It had been the way of it before too. She would come inside the dining room, and all her senses would immediately come alive. She knew the chance of ever finding anybody like Dennis was almost nonexistent. Of course people say there are doubles and doppelgangers all over the world, but Dennis was a special soul.
And she’d hurt him dreadfully.
She could forgive herself for a lot of things in life, but hurting Dennis would be one that she struggled with until the day she died. She also needed to forgive herself because, well, if she’d had any brains in her head, she never would have left him behind. He wanted her to stay close, but she didn’t have it in her. She had ambition. She had plans. She would be somebody. The accident—the original one—had only spurred her on to being more and more of what she thought she wanted to be.
Instead she had been a fool, and she’d walked away from everything that counted.