Chapter 30
Chapter Thirty
Presley
“You do understand that I will screw this up a dozen times.” I roll over and face Zac who is curled up behind me. We’d spent more than an hour sitting in my car talking before going inside and getting Grayson.
He’s now safely tucked into bed, inside his fort and Zac and I are curled up on his oversized couch. I showered and am currently wearing one of his Deranged Ink shirts. My hair is still damp and he toys with the ends, watching me.
“I’m sure I will too, baby. This is new for me too, but I’m not willing to give it up.” I smile at his words. I know he’s not like my father or Grant, but years of having shitty guys in my life made an ugly dent. Every time Zac says anything sweet, my first instinct is to run, the heavy doubt creeps up in my stomach and I’m forced to shake it off.
This is Zac.
“I want this too,” I confess, dragging my fingertip over his jaw. “I won’t deny that it scares me, but I’m pushing past it.”
“Good,” he says right before his lips press to mine. “We’re gonna talk about your place tomorrow.”
“What about my place?”
“Tomorrow,” he pushes, closing his eyes like he’s going to fall asleep.
“What about my place?” I repeat and see the corner of his mouth tip up in a grin.
“There’s my stubborn girl.” He chuckles softly, not wanting to wake Gray I’m sure. The both of us had been whispering to one another, keeping our conversation for only the two of us. “When is your lease up?”
Instantly my stomach tenses, and without being able to control it, my nostrils flare.
“Frankly I don’t care if it’s next month or ten months from now, you’re not going back there.”
“Zac.”
“Don’t Zac me, Pres.” He reaches out curling his arm round me. I’m sure it’s because he thinks I’m about to bolt. Truth is I’m too tired to move, both mentally and physically. I can have this debate right here, with my eyes closed if it comes to that.
“I won’t let Grant run me out of my home.”
“Is it?” Zac asks, confusing me. “A home,” he clarifies. “Because to me a home is a place you feel safe in. It’s the one place you look forward to being, with those you love. This,” he looks around, then back to me, “it could be your home, and Grayson’s. He loves it here, and I love having him here.”
My heart races.
“I want you both here.” Again he runs his fingers through the ends of my hair. “I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again. I didn’t know this place was missing anything until I had you both here with me. Now every time I come back and you two aren’t here it feels empty.”
“Until we’ve taken over and there are toys everywhere, with cartoons on repeat every hour of the day. Until Gray has one of his fits and he screams like someone is killing him slowly. You love it now, but I can promise you you’ll hate it then.”
“No.” He smiles, cuddling in closer. “Impossible, my best bud doesn’t scream.”
“Oh, he screams,” I assure him with a matching smile. “Earsplitting screams.”
Kissing me, I accept it, allowing myself to get a little lost in his comfort. I sort of love how he holds me and kisses me, it’s when I feel the safest. Zac gives me that, security, and I’m still battling with that. Like when he is holding me nothing else can touch me and I fear I’d be lost without it, I never want it to be taken away.
“I want it all, even the terrible times.”
“It’s confirmed,” I whisper against his chest where I’ve settled, with his arms around me and his lips against my temple. “You’re insane,” I add and feel his chest vibrate with laughter.
Silence settles over us, my thoughts racing around in my head like pinballs being shuffled around and around. I’m so tired, but I can’t shut it off, that’s when I become the most dangerous. My mouth says things before my brain can analyze the words. “I’ll admit even after going through all the stages, being humiliated that I jumped you that night, I’m glad I did.”
His hand slides down my back, getting closer to my ass and he offers a squeeze. “Me too,” he says and I lift my gaze to catch him grinning. “Best fucking night of my life,” he adds, and I pinch his side playfully.
“Liar.” My cheeks hurt from smiling.
“I’m serious.” He pulls the blankets over us, kissing my lips softly. “That night brought me my family.”
I feel like the air has been sucked out of my lungs, my throat burns, and I’m forced to close my eyes and burrow in once more. We are his family; Gray, this baby, and me, it’s flooring.
“Goodnight, baby,” he adds and all I can do is kiss his chest, because right now, I’m an emotional mess and I know if I speak even one word, I will cry.
* * *
I’m in love with Zac’s shower. I swear I could live in here. The multiple sprays, coming from every direction. The pressure, and even the bench, you can sit there and take it all in. It’s glorious.
“Can I join you?” Looking over my shoulder I feel like I almost swallow my tongue.
Zac stands in the entryway to the shower, completely naked, showing off all his ink. Colorful art covers his arms, most of one leg, and over his shoulders. I know his back is eighty percent covered too. Like all the other guys at Deranged Ink their bodies are their canvas. And nothing about any of them looks bad, every single inch tells a story.
He steps in, the water beading his skin and I’m still speechless.
His body is built, but not so much that he is more muscle than man. I love how fit he is, his waist contouring into a perfect V, those delicious lines leading downward.
“My eyes are up here, beautiful.” I look up to find him smiling. I was caught admiring and I’m okay with that. He is perfect, and well, a woman should appreciate it all.
“When did you do this?” I ask, lifting my hand to touch his brow where there is a new piercing that wasn’t there a week ago. “And this.” I touch the side of his neck just below his ear. It’s a small tattoo, but new. I hadn’t gotten a chance yet to get a good look at it, but I knew it too was a new addition.
“It’s how I deal with anger.” He shrugs. “Or sadness, boredom, every emotion really,” he adds with a smile.
“So what were you feeling when you did that?” I point to the ring in his brow.
“I was pissed,” he doesn’t hesitate, “at you.”
“Well,” shrugging I try not to laugh, “I like it.”
“Do you?” Zac places his hand on my hip and chills cover my body.
“And the tattoo.” My voice is more breathy and if I notice, I know he does too. Stepping in closer he leans in and kisses me softly.
“A P and G,” he whispers. “After the baby comes I’ll add to it and then Jace is gonna finish intertwining them all together.” I’m lost in the feeling of his kisses but I hear him. “It’s a work in progress.”
“So what would you have done if you and I ended up hating each other?”
“I could never hate you, babe.” It doesn’t bother me when he calls me that. Not like when Grant used to.
“I think you are delusional,” I tell him. “I guarantee you could. Hate me.”
“Even if we didn’t make it right here to this moment, the three of you would still be my family.” There isn’t an ounce of humor hidden in his expression. He holds my stare.
“You keep saying that.” And I swear every single time he does my heart feels like it skips a beat, or ten.
“Yeah, because I mean it.” He cups my face in his hands. “Pres, when are you gonna get it. I love you, I love that kid down there in his fort, and this one we created.”
My eyes well up with tears and he holds my face a little firmer, ensuring I see him clearly.
“I love you.”
I shake my head because I know I’m about to fall apart, but he grips me tighter.
“I love you.” Zac scans over my face. “I’m in love with you,” he repeats, and I can tell he needs me to hear him and accept it.
Leaning forward I wrap my hands around his neck and pull him in, pressing my lips to his. I love him too, more than I ever wanted to, but right now, I just need to feel.
Backing me up to the shower wall, he holds me with one hand and braces the other on the wall. Deepening our kiss, he nips and tugs at my lip as he leans a little closer. His hardness presses into my stomach.
“Come to bed with me,” he whispers. “This isn’t the best idea, not with what I want to do to you.”
But just as I am about to say yes, I hear Grayson yelling out for both of us. Zac groans letting his head fall forward against the shower wall and I laugh. “Welcome to life with a toddler, there is never enough alone time.”
“The fort failed me,” he mumbles, using his hand to grip his erection and I bite my lip.
“Give me five minutes to set him up and I’ll meet you in bed.” Zac steps back looking over me. “Make that three.” He waggles his brows. “Fuck, baby,” he moans, turns and steps out grabbing a towel. Then he is gone and I lean back against the wall, taking a moment to calm my racing heart.