Chapter 27
Zen
I sit at the bar drinking with Rigs, because he’s the one we all share our troubles with.
“I’m not gonna lie. I woke up this morning hoping to throw a ring on her finger and am thrilled she found one she doesn’t want to take off. She already agreed to be mine, so there’s that.”
Rigs just stares at me. “You said you had a problem you wanted to talk over. Forgive me if I’m a little slow on the uptake here, but I don’t even get a single whiff of a problem from what you just said, brother.”
“I don’t know, I guess I thought I’d be doing the whole proposal thing, but it’s kind of like we’re already there without me actually popping the question. I’m not in a rush, but truth be told, I’d marry her tomorrow if she were agreeable. I want her and no one else.”
“Again, that’s not a problem. She accepted your very expensive ring. That’s what we call implied consent.”
“Okay, here’s the real problem. Even if she says yes when I officially pop the question tonight—which I feel compelled to do because she won’t take the ring off—I can’t be sure if she’ll want me after a therapist gets ahold of her and helps her deal with all her trauma. Maybe she’ll come to the conclusion that what she feels for me is gratitude, instead of true love.”
Understanding clicks into place on Rigs’ face. “Ah… Okay, now I see the problem. Here’s my advice on that.”
I lean closer to hear every word and almost immediately regret it, because he gets in my face and yells, “Stop being a damn idiot! Anyone with a working pair of eyes can see how good you are together.”
I’m pleased my club brother thinks that, but there’s still something on my mind. “It’s just that I’m ten years older than Lexi, and she’s been through a lot over the last year or so. I don’t want her to feel like she owes me a relationship.”
Tank speaks up from the other side of me. “Does she love bouncing on your cock?”
Shocked, I ask, “Where did that question come from?”
He frowns at me. “I’m gonna take that as a no.”
“Hold up, Tank. Sex is not a problem. She likes my cock just fine.”
“Then she likes you. Nice women—no matter their age—don’t bounce on cocks if they don’t have feelings for the guy. That’s the thing that distinguishes them from club girls.”
I hear Rigs murmur, “This is very true.”
I look at Rigs waiting to see what other wisdom he has to share on the subject.
“Look, I know what I’m talking about. Mattie is a good few years younger than me,” he pauses as he catches Tank sniggering. “Okay, more than a good few years. Anyway, when it comes to love, age is just a number. Did your woman do something to make you start questioning her devotion to you?”
“No. She’s been amazing. She even bought herself some earrings to match the engagement ring I bought for her.”
He takes a long drink of his beer and wipes his mustache with his sleeve. “Does that sound like a woman who has it in her mind to give you back the ring you bought her?”
Shaking my head, I tell him, “All I know is, she might like that ring better than she likes me. Maybe she plans to keep the ring and ditch me.”
Tank frowns at me, looking a little disgusted. “Now, that’s just crazy talk.”
“I told him that already,” Rigs says before taking a sip of his beer.
Shaking his head, Tank asks, “How the hell much have you had to drink tonight, anyway?”
Holding up the bottle, I say, “It’s my first and only beer of the night. I’m taking Lexi out to a fancy restaurant later to verify that we are indeed engaged, and I want to be sober.”
“You are the most messed-up brother in the clubhouse when it comes to women. I want you to know that,” Tank tells me.
Evan, who has been eavesdropping, leans over the bar in front of me. “Look, bruh. You’re worrying about a bunch of shit you don’t have to worry about. Kayla says your girl is crazy about you. You’re all she talks about, apparently the sex is…” he pauses, and I can see his ears are turning red—dude might talk the talk, but he’s still not walking the walk. “Out of this world.”
“Wait, what? How does your girlfriend know all that?”
Evan shrugs. “Girls talk. Don’t tell Lexi I told you. I don’t want it getting back to Kayla that I told you things she said in confidence. If you mess up my relationship for no good reason, this will be the last favor I ever do for you.” Glaring at me, he adds, “I’m not even joking about that.”
“Prospect, calm the hell down. I’m not about to betray a brother.”
Evan’s expression shifts to one of pleasant embarrassment. “I’m not a brother yet, but I will be one day.”
He glances over my shoulder and murmurs, “Heads up. Your woman just hit the top step and is heading this way. She looks like a fucking rock star.”
I slowly turn in my seat and am astonished at how beautiful Lexi is. She’s wearing black leather pants and a black satin sleeveless shirt. With her dangling black diamond earrings and the matching engagement ring sparkling on her finger, she really does look like a rock star. I slide off my seat and meet her halfway. “You look amazing—like a dark angel fallen from heaven just for me,” I say, bringing her hand to my lips and kissing it.
If someone asked me what I was doing in this moment, I wouldn’t be able to tell them. I’m running on pure excitement and emotion. But whatever I’m doing is working, because she’s smiling at me like I’m the love of her fucking life. I wrap her arm around mine and walk her to the door.
Lexi doesn’t mind putting her helmet on over her pretty hair. I can tell she did it up special for the occasion. I just keep reminding myself that Lexi loves me. If her friend Kayla can be believed.
Spending almost forty grand on a ring is worth it if it makes her happy. Hell, I’d pay twice that. Truth be told, I like her style. The black diamonds are very much our style.
I feel like I’m experiencing whiplash. One minute we’re chasing killers, and the next I’ve got the luxury of worrying about ways to make Lexi like me more.
This is a big night, and I want everything to go off without a hitch. Lexi deserves the best, and this is my opportunity to prove I can be a good provider. I just have to play it cool.
***
Once we settle down at our table for two in the fanciest restaurant in town, I pull myself together.
Lexi looks around. “This place is really fancy. My family never ate out, so this is a real treat for me.”
“What? You mean rarely, or never?”
She gives me a faint smile. “I mean never. At the time I thought it was because my dad didn’t see the point in sitting in a restaurant when he could get it delivered right to his home. Now I think it was because he didn’t want to be out in public where his brother could harass him for money.”
I lower my eyes, ashamed for bringing it up. “Yeah, I think your folks must have realized a woman turned up dead every time Harris didn’t get what he wanted from them.” When her eyes tear up, I quickly add, “I’m sure it wasn’t just your father’s refusal to give him money that pushed him over the edge. The police will sort it all out, but my best guess is he did it when he was enraged, or happy and wanted to treat himself, whenever he got bored, or even when he wanted to celebrate some accomplishment in his life. They’re kind of like addicts.”
The server comes over and takes our order. She brings wine and pours it for us.
Lexi takes a sip of her wine and asks, “What do you mean when you say serial killers are like addicts?”
“I mean it’s a compulsion they can’t control. My mother had an alcoholic uncle. She said he used every reason in the world to get rip-roaring drunk. Every single holiday, he drank at family functions until he passed out, getting belligerent by the end of his benders each time. It got to the point where she lost hope of ever having any kind of holiday or special occasion that didn’t involve a bunch of drunken behavior out of him.”
“I get it. You’re saying it was a typical no-win situation. Now that we have the real story, I can remember times when my dad came home looking really upset. He and my mother would hole up in their room whispering. I never knew what they were talking about, but their whispers sounded panicked. I guess we know why now.”
“I think your dad did the best he could under some very difficult circumstances.”
“I think he didn’t share the money because he knew his brother would just use it to go after more people. It would have fueled his already out-of-control behavior.”
“Well, Harris and his son are both behind bars. I don’t think the judicial system will ever let them out, not with the evidence we handed over.”
“I know your next order of business is finding your sister’s missing cryptocurrency. Do you have any leads on that?”
“Hell no, and it’s driving me crazy. I want to finish up with your case first.”
“Really? What’s left to do?”
“I want to get into Terrance’s laptop. There could be more critical evidence there. I keep thinking weird thoughts, like what if he abducted his first victim and has her locked up somewhere.”
Her eyebrows shoot up. “I wouldn’t put anything past him at this point. Shouldn’t we be doing that instead of shopping for rings and eating out at fancy restaurants?”
“I had a go at it earlier today. I threw everything I had at it and ended up linking it to an encryption program I developed. It’ll keep trying relentlessly to crack his password. I’ll get a notification on my phone when it cracks.”
“Yeah, it’s a shame it’s not as easy as getting the info from his floppy disks and CDs. But I guess as his hacking skills improved so did his digital security awareness.”
“It takes a hacker to catch a hacker, so I’m confident I’ll break the encryption.”
“Talking of hackers, I hope you get your sister’s money back.”
“Me too,” I tell her sincerely.
“Do you still think it might be someone who frequents the chatrooms I use?” Lexi asks.
“That’s the most likely explanation,” I say. I’ve been going through the regulars one by one. It’s not a quick job as most of the people who use the chatrooms are shit hot on security. But like Terrance’s laptop, I’m confident I’ll get there in the end.
We sit in silence for a few moments.
Finally, after putting down my wine glass, I lean over the table and say, “Lexi, I want to ask you something.”
“No, you can’t have your ring back,” she jokes.
“I need to ask the question, and you need to answer it truthfully or I’m never going to be able to settle my nerves. Will you marry me?”
She grins mischievously. “Of course I’ll marry you! And you didn’t need to bring me to a fancy restaurant to ask the question.”
I relax back into my seat. “So what kind of timeline were you thinking for the engagement?”
She shrugs and takes another sip of her wine. “I don’t mind. I just want us to live together.”
A knot of tightness loosens in my chest. “That’s what I want too. Maybe a long engagement would be in order—so you can get through treatment for your trauma and make sure you really want me.”
A mildly surprised expression crosses her face. “Where did this come from? What happened to the cocky Zen I know and love? I love you and want to be with you. No amount of therapy is going to change that.” She sits back in her seat and gazes at me for a long, hard moment. “I have something important to tell you.”
“Shoot. I’m ready for whatever you throw at me.”
“I found my trust fund. While you were working on Terrance’s laptop today, I had the lawyer who’s managing my father’s estate look into other inheritances that might have been left to me. He found a trust fund in my name set up by my paternal grandfather. It’s not a massive amount, but it would give me a decent yearly income for life, meaning I can work the jobs I want to, and not work because I have to. It’s set up to start paying out on my twenty-fifth birthday.”
“That’s great news, Lexi.”
“Well, I wasn’t going to talk about money with you, but since we’re planning to live together and are engaged, I want you to know what’s going on with my finances.”
“Trust money isn’t considered a marital asset,” I tell her.
“There’s more. I already told you my father had an insurance policy on himself and that I was the beneficiary. I didn’t know I had any other inheritance coming, so my lawyer and I set that up in a trust to pay out a livable sum each month starting from now. That means I have enough money coming in for life so that neither of us ever needs to worry about money again. It will more than cover your sister’s tuition.”
“That’s real sweet of you, Lexi, but I’ve been working pretty hardcore for the last ten years. I own a business that’s doing really well. I’ve done pretty good for myself. My personal net worth, including my business, is upwards of a million dollars, and I expect my earnings to only go up moving forward.”
She chuffs out a laugh. “Well, if I was hoping to impress you with my new-found wealth, it was an epic fail.”
I relax a little. “I think it’s great that we both have money set aside. If my own childhood taught me anything, it’s that we shouldn’t take our wealth for granted.”
“I absolutely agree. You never know when disaster might strike. That cushion might save our family from feeling the pinch.”
Our dinner is brought, and we chat as we eat. When they clear our plates and bring dessert, I reach across the table with a closed fist. “I lied about having three gifts for you today. I actually have four.”
Lexi holds out her hand, and I drop the key that Wade copied from mine. She holds it up. “What’s this?”
I clear my throat. “It’s a copy of my apartment key. I know you don’t really feel comfortable in your house because of what happened to your father. That’s one reason you were hiding out in the safe room, in addition to feeling safer there.”
Lexi closes her hand around the key, tearing up a bit. “Yeah, I never really felt like that house was a home—mostly because we moved so much when I was growing up that no one house felt like home. But now it’s got too many bad memories. I’ve been thinking about selling it and using the money to buy Cindy and Kayla a modest house, and safe vehicles to drive. If I’m being honest, I don’t want anything to do with the house or the money associated with selling it. I can’t think of better cause that giving my best friend and her sister a leg up in life. I don’t want them always feeling poor church mice every time we get together. We need to stay on an equal footing, and I just want to do this for them.”
I totally understood where she was coming from on this one. That house represented all the bad things in her life, and she wanted to purge the negative feelings by getting rid of it and using the money for a good cause. I tell her without reservation, “I’ll support whatever decision you make. Do you want to live with me?”
She rubs the key between both hands, her new engagement ring glittering on her finger. “I think I’d love living with you, Zen. For me, it’s not about houses so much as it’s about people. I just want to be with you. I want to go to sleep at your side every night and wake up to your smiling face every morning.”
I start to get emotional too, because this woman is saying all the things I need to hear to chain her heart to mine forever. “Then it’s agreed. We’ll live together at my place for now. Maybe at some point we’ll outgrow it, and I’ll buy us a bigger house somewhere.”
She shakes her head. “We’ll both buy a new house. I know you want to be the provider, and I can appreciate that sentiment. But there’s no reason why I can’t help pay for big-ticket items like houses and cars. The burden shouldn’t always fall on you.”
I give in, because it’s becoming increasingly clear I’ll probably go along with whatever she wants moving forward. If she needs to feel like she’s helping support our family, I’ll swallow my pride for her.
“I’ll make you a deal. We can share expenses along the way, but if it ever gets to the point that you can’t or don’t want to, I’ll pick up the slack for both of us.”
“I’ll agree to those terms,” she tells me, all smiles.
I watch as she takes out her keychain and puts my door key on her ring. Just as we’re finishing up dessert, my phone buzzes. I have a look at it, and excitement strums through my chest. “My encryption program broke the password on Terrance’s laptop. Want to have a peek with me or is it getting too late for you?”
Lexi perks up. “Are you kidding? I wouldn’t miss this for the world. I’ll bet that if we apply ourselves, we can figure out how he established that two-way link to my laptop as well.”
I hope and pray there’s nothing too horrific on there. He’s the ‘beauty in death’ guy, after all.