Chapter Ten
Misty
Iget home from work to find Bernie on Zep’s porch. Again.
As much as I want to hate this overly masculine man covered in tattoos, I can’t.
He’s really good with Bernie, and he’s the only adult I’ve met who talks to her like a person.
Their conversations sound grown up, and he never talks down to her.
More grown up than some of the conversations I have to have.
My stomach flips when I see what Zep holds. A damn kitten.
Please, please don’t make me the bad guy who has to say no to the adorable girl who just wants to take home the kitten her new best friend gave her, Zep. Don’t ruin the progress we’ve made.
“Where’s Chunky?” Bernie asks as I walk up the steps, the dread increasing with every step closer to the two of them.
I know the cat’s name is Chonk, but it’s slowly changed to Chunky. It’s actually kind of cute, and Zep never corrects her. He even uses the nickname—or a variation—around Bernie, so I suspect he may have let her rename his cat.
“Inside. He’s not too happy with me,” Zep says and looks up at me. “I found this kitten on my porch. Just like Chunk.”
“Can I hold it?”
He hands the kitten to Bernie who looks like she’s died and gone to heaven. The little gray furball immediately curls up on her lap and falls asleep as my daughter pets it gently.
As comfortable as I am with Zep, I can’t get over the fight we witnessed. It reminded me just how dangerous he can be. But I’m surprised he just took most of it without fighting back. It wasn’t hard to understand what it was about when I saw the sheet-clad woman. He was with another man’s woman.
“Is it a boy or a girl?” Bernie asks.
“Girl.”
“You should name her Peanut Butter.”
I frown and glance at Zep. What her gender has to do with a name like Peanut Butter, I don’t really know. But Zep doesn’t look concerned. He seems more than happy to just roll with whatever Bernie wants.
“Bernie, baby, the kitten’s gray, not brown,” I say.
“So?”
All I can do is give Zep a defeated look because I don’t have any comeback for that. Just as I open my mouth to come up with something—anything—he jumps in.
“Peanut Butter sounds like a perfect name.”
A large smile appears on her face, and she gives me a triumphant look. “Can I bring her inside and try to introduce her to Chunky?”
Zep’s eyes meet mine for an answer, and the look he gives me says he’ll do whatever I want. It’s astounding how a simple look from this man can make my heart skip a beat.
“If it’s okay with Zep,” I say.
Nodding to her, he turns back to me. “She’s a cat girl, that’s for sure.”
“She’s scared of dogs.” He doesn’t need to know that, but I felt like I needed to add something, and my mind is a complete blank. Which happens a lot more around him than I’d like admit. “You can rename her.”
“It makes her happy,” he says with a shrug. “What the fuck do I care what her name is?”
I smirk. “Thanks for waiting until she’s out of earshot to use the word fuck.”
He smiles at me, and it nearly makes me melt. Zeppelin Molloy has a beautiful smile. “I’m learning. Never said I was a fast learner, but I’m working on it.”
“We’re going to have to drag her out of there, you know.”
“She might be one of the only people alive who will get Chunk to do whatever he doesn’t want to do. It makes my life easier.”
Against my better judgment, I sit on the porch next to him. I always avoid it because being this close to him feels dangerous in the most intoxicating ways, but I don’t have much of a reason not to with Bernie inside.
His clothes are covered in gray cat hair, and I can’t help but fixate on it. “Can I ask you something?”
“Yes, I will come make sweet love to you whenever you need me to.”
The comment catches me off-guard, and my eyes snap up to lock with his. “You wish.”
“You have no idea,” he says with a chuckle. “You want to know about the fight you witnessed.”
Is he reading my mind? If so, I need to be more careful with my thoughts. “You didn’t fight back.”
“I deserved it.”
That confirms it. “So… you’re the other man?”
He snorts and leans forward to rest his elbows on his knees. “Yeah, I suppose that’s the simplest way to put it.”
“Let me guess: It’s complicated?”
His sigh tells me it’s more than complicated. At least for him. “Chanel and I have been on and off since we were fourteen. She’s the one that got away, and I’m reminded every time she turns up on my doorstep. But she always leaves a few hours later.”
My thinking shifts. I expected Zep to be a playboy, but it sounds like he’s a man in love. It makes him even more endearing. “Why don’t you win her back?”
“Because I don’t exactly understand how I lost her.”
“What do you mean?”
His hands rub along his face, and I almost want to tell him to forget it. The way his body tenses shows just how painful this is for him, but I also want to know. I want to know more about this insanely sexy man I should be running far, far away from.
“Because she was just gone one day. There wasn’t a fight. Not even a conversation. It was just… done. Then, next thing I know, she’s engaged to a man I once called a buddy.”
Okay, this is definitely complicated, and I feel guilty. Both for doubting him and for making him relive this. “I’m sorry, Zep.”
“She’s the only thing I’ve never been able to fully let go with this much time, but I think I have to. I just don’t… I don’t know how to.”
“I can kind of relate. It’s how I felt with Bernie’s dad. There was only one time that happened, though.”
Shifting to lean against the railing, he studies me. His dark eyes make my stomach flip, and I want to kiss him until I’m dizzy.
Being so close to him is definitely dangerous.
“Bernie never really talks about her dad. I didn’t want to ask in case it’s not a good situation.”
And now he’s caring? He seems to be the opposite of everything I expected.
Lowering my voice, I make sure Bernie doesn’t overhear us.
“I tell her he travels for business all the time, which is why he never comes home. It usually only comes up when other kids have something with their dads, like father-daughter dances.”
“Guessing that’s the furthest from the truth?”
“Yeah. The truth is, he walked away when I was pregnant and never looked back. Except for once.”
His brows lift. “Are you fucking kidding me?”
Rolling my bottom lip between my teeth, I keep my eyes locked on his knees as I nod.
“It was hard doing everything alone, and then about three years ago, he showed up when she was with his parents. She’s stayed with them over spring break every year since she was four.
We had three nights of passion, and he talked about staying. Then he didn’t.”
“Does he help you financially?”
I shake my head. “I never went after him. It would have felt like retaliation for leaving us. If he didn’t want us, I didn’t want to force something. And I don’t want Bernie to learn the truth. It would break her heart.”
“If you ever need anything, Misty, I’m here.
I can hang out with Bernie while you go out and do whatever single mamas go out and do.
The thing about this town is that we’re all willing to help each other.
” He bristles and sighs. “Unless you wear a Venom leather. But they don’t help anyone but themselves, so it’s not really difficult. ”
“I was told to be leery of the clubs in town,” I admit. “I think maybe it’s only one of them.” Looking up at him, I tilt my head. “You were really a pallbearer for Grandma?”
“Gloria was a lovely lady. She’d bring me over cupcakes with green frosting for my birthday because I told her once it was my favorite color.
And she always found her way over after Chanel left claiming to need help moving something in the house.
We’d chat, and I never moved a single piece of furniture. ”
Nodding, I can’t look into his eyes anymore. They’re too intense, and I have too much guilt. “I didn’t know her as well as I’d like to have because I was stubborn. Determined to do everything on my own, but she was the one person I could count on to help.”
“What about your parents?”
I snort. “That positive pregnancy test got my ass kicked to the curb. My parents have never met Bernie. Not for lack of trying on my part. I’ve been on my own for close to ten years now. It’s been hard, but I wouldn’t change a thing. Bernie’s my life.”
“Like I said, good mama.”
When I dare glance back up at him, he stares with an intensity I haven’t noticed before.
The type of look that makes my stomach burn in the best possible way, and I know I need spring break to come sooner than later.
Once this thirst for a man has been quenched, I can go back to having a safe boundary with Zep.
“Chunky finally came around,” Bernie says. “They’re playing together with a toy mouse.”
“You are the cat whisperer,” I say with a smile.
“One day, I’m going to have a cat. Or three.”
If I didn’t have the responsibilities I do, I’d think about getting her a cat. I just don’t have it in me to take care of an animal on top of everything else right now. It wouldn’t be fair to any of us, and money’s already tight as it is. The extra expenses need to be kept to a minimum.
“As long as your mama’s okay with it, you can come over and get your kitty fix with Chunk and Peanut Butter.”
It’s a weird show of respect and affection to use the names she’s given his cats, and I itch to touch him. To hug him and thank him. And then maybe more.
My gaze lands on his large hands, and I can’t stop it.
I wonder what those hands would feel like on my body.
And my eyes travel the length of him, stopping just a moment too long on his groin, and my panties soak as I imagine myself on my knees in front of him.
Of getting an up-close look at what he has to offer.
We need to leave.
“Let’s go get a snack and decide what we’re making for dinner,” I say, hopping off the porch just a little too quickly to play off as cool.
What makes it worse is the knowing look Zep gives me. Like he can sense what I feel. Then again, the hunger in his eyes says he might be having the same issues I am.
I just need to get sex out of my system, and then we’ll be able to be friends. Just friends. No more sexual tension between us. Until then, I’ll have to rely on my hands and vibrator to tide me over.
The things that haven’t quite satisfied the urge since I’ve let myself get a little closer to Zeppelin Molloy.
Lord, help me.