Chapter Twenty-Six
Zeppelin
Misty continues to amaze me. I can feel the walls she has built up so damn high around her heart crumbling down. I expected slow last night. As close to slow as we really get, but then she went and told me to make love to her. Something no one has ever said before.
It was amazing. Everything I imagined it would be, and as much as I wanted to tell her I loved her then, it felt like it might not mean the same. Being buried deep inside someone as you say the words I love you for the first time kind of seems a bit fake.
“Why the fuck is this so hard to figure out the timing of?” I murmur as I walk through the back door of Velvet Desire.
I need to handle some business, and when Misty told me Bernie has her first sleepover with Carly tonight, I knew I needed to get this done before this evening. Tonight’s the night. I’m going to tell her, and I’ll let the chips fall where they may.
There’s still a chance Misty will freak out and retreat, but I’m done hiding it. I can’t hold it in much longer, and I need her to know. I need to get it off my chest.
Nadia Ballard’s voice floating down the hallway and into the office changes my entire mood. Why the fuck is Butch’s wife in my brothel?
“Someone has to warn her,” Nadia says. “She has to stay as far away as possible.”
“Yeah, I know, but how do we do that without it getting out? Jolene doesn’t want Zep knowing, and I also don’t think Zep’s the type to let that secret go.”
Queenie’s talking to Nadia… voluntarily? What the fuck happened to loyalty? And what fucking secret? How did I get pulled into this conversation?
They’re talking about Misty!
“Butch already got involved with the café. Stopped her pastry delivery. He’s not too happy that she found another solution, and it’s only a matter of time before he tries…”
She trails off, and my stomach twists. Tries what? What the fuck is that motherfucker going to do to my girl?
But what confuses me more is that Nadia’s worried about Misty at all. And talking to Queenie. She’s married to the asshole in charge of my fucking rival.
“Zep wouldn’t let it go, which is why he can’t know,” Nadia says. “But he needs to make sure he protects Misty.”
Okay, now I’m pissed. This bitch talks like she knows me, but we’ve never had a conversation before. Well, that’s not true. I’ve told her how fucked up her husband and son are, but I’m not sure that counts as much of one.
“I don’t know how to go about this. Maybe Nancy can do it. That way, we’re both in the clear. Have her talk to Misty directly, and I don’t think Misty would tell Zep. She’s a mom, after all. She’ll understand Jolene’s decision,” Queenie says.
And what the fuck does Mama have to do with this?
“Do you really think Misty would keep it from Zep? Plus, he might need to help convince her that she needs to be careful. If he’s gone on a run, she can’t be walking around at night. It’s what happened with Jolene.”
“And I don’t know if Zep would be okay with raising his half-brother if history repeats itself. But if Zep knows, you’ll be a fucking widow. You know that, right?”
My world starts to tilt. They can’t be saying what I think they are. No. No, it can’t be true.
“Honestly, I don’t even care anymore.”
“With the age difference between them, Butch’ll have a hard time pushing the story of a drunken one-night stand like he did with Jolene. I think we should talk to Jo about this. Maybe it’s time she tells Zep the truth.”
My world crashes to a halt. Mama didn’t have a one-night stand with Butch. No, my conception was completely against her will.
I can’t take it any longer, and I step out into the hallway and make my presence known. Both women jump as they see me, and they cling to each other.
“Get the fuck out of my business, Nadia,” I growl. “And don’t you ever fucking come back.”
“Zep—”
“Queenie, you better pray the club takes letting the enemy into our place better than I am right now. Get to work and get her the fuck out of here.”
All I get is a short nod as she pushes Nadia out the front while I try to remember how to breathe where I stand. I have to know for sure. Get it straight from the source.
Outside, I call Jethro. “Hey, I need you to send someone else to Velvet Desire to handle the issue from last night. I have an emergency to take care of.”
I hang up before he can respond and head straight to Mama’s house. This can’t be true. It just can’t.
Jennings walks out to his bike as I pull into Mama’s driveway. “Zep, hey. I was hoping to see you before I took off.”
“You’re gonna need to stay. Unless you already know,” I say, barely kicking my stand out in time as I climb off my bike.
“Know what?”
“About my father.”
He frowns. “Butch? Yeah, I know that motherfucker had a one-night—”
“No, the fuck he didn’t.”
“What?”
I don’t answer him, and he follows me inside. Mama walks out of the kitchen and smiles at me. “Zep, baby, are you here to say goodbye to your uncle?”
“Is it true?”
“Is what true?”
Jennings puts a hand on my shoulder, but I brush it off. “Zep, calm down.”
“What’s wrong, Zeppelin?”
“Have you been lying to me my entire life?” I ask. “Have you been lying to fucking everyone?”
“Watch your tone,” Mama scolds. “You don’t come into my house and talk to me like that. You were raised to have respect. Not just by me, but by Johnny. And don’t you dare disrespect him like that.”
She’s right. But I have to know. “Is it true, Mama?”
“Is what true?” Jennings asks.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Zep.”
Swallowing, I force the vomit back down. “You never had a one-night stand with Butch, did you?”
She pales. “Where would you—”
“Wait, Butch isn’t his father? What the fuck are we upset about? That’s great news,” Jennings says with a chuckle.
The look on Mama’s face tells me everything. It’s true. It’s not just gossip. “No, he is.”
“I don’t understand.”
Mama’s lip trembles. “Zep—”
“Why would you lie for him?” I shout. “Why tell us all a story rather than the truth?”
“Because he was going to kill us if I didn’t,” she says, tears streaming down her face. “He wouldn’t have thought twice about killing you. Before or after you were born.”
My legs give out, and I barely make it to the couch rather than the floor. I can’t breathe. My entire body goes numb, and I think I might be having a stroke.
“What the fuck is going on?” Jennings asks.
I know he knows. There’s enough context to put the pieces together, but he doesn’t want to believe it. Hell, I don’t want to believe it, either.
“Jennings, go home,” Mama says.
“You’re gonna wanna stay,” I say, my voice low and gravelly.
Turning to me, my uncle stares hard. “What the fuck is going on, Zep?”
“Zep—”
“Mama, it’s out. The truth is out. She didn’t have a one-night stand with Butch like she told us. She was walking alone at night, and Butch raped her. I’m the product of rape.”
Mama lets out a sob, and she braces herself on Johnny’s recliner. Her hands cover her face as she cries. “I never wanted you to find out.”
“It’s true?” Jennings growls. “Why the fuck didn’t you tell me? I would’ve—”
“Because they would have killed Zeppelin!” she screams. “If you killed him, his club would’ve killed my son in retaliation. I couldn’t do that.”
“What if I had turned out just like him? Wouldn’t it have been worth the risk, Mama?” I ask.
My voice is oddly calm, which is funny considering there’s a storm brewing inside me. I want fucking blood.
“I knew you wouldn’t,” she says, hurrying over to take my hand as she kneels in front of me. “Baby, you are nothing like Butch. Never have been, and you never will be. I knew it from the moment I felt your first kick.”
“You should’ve taken the risk. That asshole doesn’t deserve to be walking around, let alone breathing.”
“Zep—”
“I found out because his wife was talking to Queenie at the brothel. They’re worried he’ll do the same thing to Misty. He shouldn’t be here to cause anyone to worry.”
Jennings moves to pull Mama into his arms. “I couldn’t risk you. You’re the only good thing to come out of that situation, Zep. I love you. I couldn’t…”
“It’s okay, Jo,” Jennings says, his voice soothing. “It’s going to be okay.”
“Did Johnny know?” I ask.
Seeing her nod her head makes me angry. The man I saw as my father knew what Butch did to Mama—the woman he claimed to love more than anything in the world—and let that motherfucker exist.
“The Venom and the Daredevils were friendly back then. It wasn’t until Johnny and I got together that things went south. Johnny declared war when I told him the truth.”
At least he did something. Not enough, but it’s something.
“Zep, baby, say something.”
“I gotta go,” I say and stand.
“Zep—”
“Let him get some space,” Jennings says.
Turning, I lock eyes with my uncle. “You sticking around?”
“I’ll stay with her. Don’t do anything stupid.”
I laugh. “My existence is a joke. Doing something stupid would just be the icing on the cake.”
“Zep, I mean it.”
I’m sure he does. But so do I. What even is my life right now? I shouldn’t fucking be here, and that’s a lot of weight on my shoulders at the moment.