Chapter Thirty-Two
Zeppelin
Wow, I really screwed things up. Watching Misty walk away after saying I was nothing but a mistake hurt more than I thought words could. But worse than that is the image of Bernie running away in tears after she dumped cupcakes on the ground at my feet.
Cupcakes the two ladies I’ve come to love more than just about anything made to make me feel better. They both thought of me, and I let Chanel fuck with me. Again.
Misty took care of me like no one else ever has. And she’s right. I do think of her. Every fucking minute of every day. I don’t need to be with Chanel for it to happen.
I walk into the Seven Crows and sit at the bar. I’d made sure Bernie made it safely inside before I left, mostly because she refuses to talk to me. When she gets to her house, she hurries inside and doesn’t even look at me.
“You must really be in the doghouse,” Nancy says and sets a beer in front of me.
I sigh and just stare at it. “It’s more than that, Nan. I’m fucked. And not in a good way.”
“She’ll come around. Everyone knows that girl’s in love with you. It’s obvious in the way she looks at you.”
“I’m an idiot. I’m the girl who knew better than to fall in love with a guy like you.”
Holy shit. Misty admitted she fell in love with me, and I was too focused on trying to defend myself to catch it. Everyone else knew, but I never told her how I felt. If I said it, maybe we’d at least be talking right now.
Damn it. Damn it. Damn it.
“Chanel kissed me when she knew Misty was right there to see.”
“She still in town?”
I smirk. “Why?”
Picking up a bottle of whiskey with thick glass off the shelf by the neck, she tests out the weight. “Just to talk.”
“Yeah. Talk. I bet.”
“Well, if it isn’t my son,” Butch says from behind me.
Rage overcomes me, but I stay seated. “Don’t ever fucking call me that,” I growl.
“But—”
“I know the truth, Butch. It’s in your best interest to get as far as fucking possible from me before I break a bottle and slit your goddamned throat with it,” I say, my voice barely in control.
Nancy’s eyes wide, and I know she knows. Of course she knows. She knows all.
“The truth, huh? And what truth is that?”
“About my mama.”
“How she was crying out as I fucked her in a way Johnny never did?”
I crack my neck and use every ounce of strength I have not to tackle him to the ground right now. “Well, she willingly fucked Johnny, and she didn’t want to fuck you. But that doesn’t really matter to you, does it? You don’t care if a woman wants to let you inside her.”
He just laughs, and I can’t turn around. If I look at him, I’ll end up in prison. Or dead at the hands of his fucking club.
I see a few of my brothers in my peripheral, and I wonder if they know. If everyone knew but me.
“Your mom wanted it. I knew she did. She was just playing hard to get.”
“Stop it, Butch,” Nancy says. “No one believes for a second that Jolene wanted your crusty cock.”
Her comment is meant to be helpful and supportive, but it actually makes everything worse.
“You’re just upset because I never gave you a ride.”
“Yeah, real upset. Torn up, really. I don’t know how I get by from day to day,” she says with sarcasm dripping from every word.
That one kind of helped. It at least made me smirk.
“Guess we’ll just have to ask Misty when I finally have my way with her.”
There’s no holding me back now, and I leap up, slamming him against the wall with my forearm pressed against his throat.
“If you ever touch her, I will chop off your dick and feed it to the fucking dogs. Then I’ll feed their shit to you before cutting off your head, sticking it on a pole, and riding around town with it on the back of my bike. ”
“This is fighting,” Butch says, his voice strangled as I continue to cut off oxygen. He tries to fight me, but he can’t.
“I think I need a smoke break,” Nancy says.
Nancy doesn’t smoke. God, I love that woman.
“Zep, stop,” Pacino says as he grabs my arm and tries to pull me off.
It does little to stop me, and it takes two more sets of hands to grab and yank me back.
“Touch her, and I will kill you, motherfucker!” I shout.
Butch coughs and waves his hand in the air. “Oh, I’m real scared, son.”
He leaves, and I shove my fist through the wall. It should’ve been his face. I wish it was his face, and I pull my hand out to stare at the blood on my knuckles
“Shit, Nancy, he’s sorry,” Rooster says.
Walking around the bar, Nancy looks at my hand. “You found out the truth?”
“That I’m only here because Butch raped my mama? Yeah.”
“Wait, what?” Pacino asks. “When did this happen?”
“Um, around the time I was conceived.”
“No, I mean when did you find out? How did you find out?”
Swallowing, I roll my shoulders. “Nadia was at Velvet Desire talking to Queenie. Mama confirmed it.”
Pacino sighs. “Hell, if I’d known that, I wouldn’t have stopped you. I’d have helped you. I’m sorry, man.”
“Anyone else here know before now?” I ask.
Nancy shakes her head. “Only a few of us knew the truth, Zep. Your mom never wanted you to know.”
“Sorry about your wall. I’ll pay to have it patched. I can go get stuff to fix it now.”
Grabbing a hammer, she pounds a nail above the hole and grabs a painting of a hunter with a dead duck from a few feet away and moves it. I guess she really does hate ducks.
“I’ll call someone tomorrow. And I’ll put it on Butch’s tab.”
“Thanks, Nan.”
“Been a shitty week for you, huh?” Pacino asks.
“What makes you think that?”
I lost the woman I love, her daughter who I love more than life itself won’t talk to me, and I’m not sure I should even be here. Not sure what doesn’t sound like a banger week with that lineup.
“I got something for you,” he says and guides me back to the bar to sit down.
Nancy grabs the first aid kid and wraps my hand in gauze. I barely feel anything, but I let her do it. Makes her feel helpful.
“Yeah? What’s that? And if it’s more bad news, I don’t think I can handle it right now.”
“Got more info on Ben Samson. And it’s going to make you pretty fucking happy as well as pissed.”
“Why?”
“The money he’s making? It’s from drugs. And you’ll never guess what kind.”
My head snaps to the right to look at him. “Venom Dust?”
“You got it. But it gets better.”
“How?”
“He was just charged with murder. Some seventeen-year-old he sold to died. There was too much fentanyl in the mix and the kid overdosed.”
Mouth open, I gape at him. “He’s selling for the Venom? And killed a kid with their product?”
“Yep. But he’s gone off-grid. Cops can’t find him.”
“Motherfucker. Poor Misty.”
“The family also wants to go after him for a wrongful death suit. They want a shit ton of money, and there are PIs out looking for him. Bounty and everything on his head.”
I frown as I put this all together. “You don’t think he’d come around here, would he?”
“I think he’s going to talk to Butch. It’s known that Butch can work magic when he wants to and make things disappear.”
“Or he’s going to come around here to try to get in good with Bernie.”
Now Pacino frowns. “I don’t follow.”
Laughing, I crack my neck, deciding against alcohol. “If Butch can’t help him, he might want to get Bernie into his life. Likely thinks the jury will be more sympathetic to a father trying to make ends meet for his daughter. She’d win the hearts of everyone with just a smile.”
“Gotta keep our eyes open.”
“Let’s get a rotation of guys around the house when I’m not home. I don’t want to take any chances.”
He nods and walks to make a call. His men or ours, I don’t care. As long as someone can keep an eye on my girls. They might be in more danger than just having Butch as a predator. And I’m on the outside.
Fucking great.